B*tching and Bolusing

Oftentimes parents who have medically complex and disabled children will refer to themselves as their child's caregiver. On this episode of The Bitching and Bolusing podcast, we sit down to discuss the potential harm this could have not just on our own children, but on ourselves, and within our family unit. We also discuss the desire to refer to ourselves as caregivers, the lack of representation, and how we were force-fed an idealistic version of "parenthood" by society that left us feeling isolated and misunderstood.

So let's sit down and bitch about it!

On this episode of The Bitching and Bolusing Podcast we sit down with Jen Lowe, MSW, a social worker, therapist, and mother to a son with medical complexities who spent 3 months in the NICU. Jen offers her unique insight as a therapist who has experienced her own trauma during labor and delivery, to a long NICU stay and beyond. During her journey she developed the Miracle Kids & Parent Support Network where she helps other families who have similar experiences heal and build a community. Jen hopes to grow and expand the Miracle Kids & Parent Support Network where other families can find resources to help guide them on their own path to recovery and healing.

You can find The Miracle Kids & Parents Network here:

Miracle Kids & Parents Network on Instagram

Miracle Kids & Parent Support Network on Facebook

Grow With Jen Lowe Youtube

Hand To Hold

We've all been there - you're going about your life minding your own business and somebody interrupts you to do something kind simply because you have a disabled child, or because you yourself are disabled. These acts of kindness certainly come from a place of good, but it can be driven by an ableist mindset: that disabled individuals deserve pity. Sometimes these acts are only a way for the giver to feel better about themselves. Regardless, it can be jarring and can be tricky for parents of disabled children to navigate. How do we lead by example? How do we let our disabled children know that they are not obligated to take "gifts" from strangers when we ourselves freeze, smile, and say thanks? Why does it seem that these acts of kindness are only reserved for children with certain disabilities, while others are deemed "unruly", shamed, and shunned? Empathy and equity does not exist amongst all types of disabilities when it comes to these acts of kindness. So let's sit down and bitch about it on todays episode of The Bitching and Bolusing Podcast!

It is far too commonplace that disabled individuals and their families receive pity from passersby. The mere thought of disability becomes worst case scenario for most people who have no experience at all with disability. But this is not, and should not, be the case. On this episode of The Bitching and Bolusing Podcast we sit down with Lillian Joy to discuss the harm that can come from being on the receiving end of other peoples pity. Lillian has developed a keynote speech titled "From Pity to Perspective" based on the experiences that she's had throughout her life as a disabled individual.

You can find Lillian on Instagram at @yours.very.truly.lillian

Lillians Keynote speech can be found here

Relationships sometimes become unnecessarily complicated when disability is involved. Sometimes people don't know how to react to the news of disability, they oftentimes hold grief for who they imagined your child would have been without disability. As parents, navigating the grief of others can be a burdensome task that halters our own healing, growth, and acceptance. It is important that we lead by example and show our children how to set healthy boundaries that can better empower them and that prevents any development of internalized ableism. On this episode of The Bitching and Bolusing Podcast we discuss what those boundaries can look like, and how to recognize relationships that may be harmful to families with disabled children. We also discuss how to encourage healthy friendships for our children that omit any "caretaker" undertones.

When parents have children with disabilities it can be challenging to figure out what your identity is. Oftentimes, sometimes unintentionally, parents tend to take on their child's disability as their own identity. This, however, can not only be detrimental to the family and child, but it can also be detrimental to the disabled community. In this episode on The Bitching and Bolusing Podcast we sit down with Wes from Wes of Disabledland and discuss some hard hitting, sometimes uncomfortable topics and insights. Wes offers us his views on how there should be a shift within the parenting community that could better empower the disabled community, and how both communities are not one in the same. 

Please be sure to visit Disabledland Shops!

DisabledLand Kids

DisabledLand Shop (NSFW)

The Recess Project

Sick Kids VS Campaign

When it comes to birth trauma, the focus is often on the mother. More times than not, however, the fathers experience a similar level of trauma that can even result in PPD, PPA, and PTSD. On this episode of The Bitching and Bolusing Podcast, Courtney and Brittney sit down with their husbands to discuss their experiences with trauma after birth injury and life inside the NICU. The dads get vulnerable and discuss how their lives have been altered by such trauma, and how--at the beginning--they felt as though they had to suffer in silence. Courtney and Brittney hope that this episode helps to open up conversations between couples of all types who have experienced a traumatic birth, a traumatic NICU stay, or who are faced with trauma related to their children's disability or medical complexities.

Happy Fathers Day!

As parents and caregivers, we want to share our journey and raise awareness for our children. But sometimes this can come at the cost of our children's privacy. On this episode of The Bitching and Bolusing Podcast, Courtney and Brittney talk about the importance of maintaining privacy and autonomy for children on social media, and the possible long-term implications of sharing too much. 

Episode 1 introduces you to Courtney and Brittney. We explain what to expect from future episodes, and we talk about our own journeys into motherhood with interabled children.

So come Bitch and Bolus with us!