It wasn’t that long ago that we didn’t think we would -- or should -- have any tennis for the rest of 2020. Now, here we are recapping the final week of a fanless U.S. Open. Naomi Osaka and Dominic Thiem are your champions, a third Slam triumph for Naomi and a first at last for someone not named Federer, Djokovic, or Nadal. We cover the matches of week two leading up to the finals, as well as so much of the commentary and discourse surrounding the tournament. Sadly, and maddeningly, the commentariat simply did not meet the moment. All this and more on our Bubble Wrap!

02:02 Mariah saves the day: Jonathan has a word for the haters

10:20 The road to the women's final

20:38 Naomi Osaka wins her 3rd Slam title, against a reborn Vika

30:27 Naomi starts a conversation, the commentators have no clue how to talk about it

46:08 The sloppy path to the men's final?

52:07 The "low quality" of the men's matches doesn't exist in a vacuum

59:54 What to make of the men's final  

65:18 Moments that made us cringe

78:14 Moments of levity: things we enjoyed from the fortnight

81:59 Dramatic Reading: Serena (out of nowhere) shades tf out of ______.