Roland Garros closes with Coco Gauff’s second major title and a true classic of a men’s final, with Carlos Alcaraz defending his title after weathering three championship points and over five hours of punishing tennis from Jannik Sinner. Of course you’ll get our thoughts on Aryna Sabalenka’s less than pleasant commentary after the match, plus notes on Iga, Novak, and Musetti’s ill-conceived kick. Stay tuned for our fashion segment (Lululemon FTW this time), our impression of TNT’s coverage, and the scheduling nightmare that got even worse. 

3:30 Coco Gauff is a two-time major champ!

12:10 Aryna talks shit, gets whacked by fans and locals alike

20:15 Other notes about the women’s draw

29:30 Men’s final: a true classique

39:00 Semi and quarter notes: Musetti’s kick and That Guy’s futility 

48:50 Reviewing the kits: Nike, go home; Wilson and Lulu, you can stay

58:00 TNT’s coverage created some real energy

All Round of 16 matches are set at the 2025 Roland Garros, after a number of top men crashed out early (though none of the true favorites) and most of the women’s contenders remain on a crash course toward some fiery week two matchups. We look at what’s to come and discuss our week one highlights – including Svitolina-Pera, Keys-Kenin, Draper-Monfils, and Mboko’s run. The episode’s title comes from the tournament’s refusal to schedule women during its flawed night session concept and the ensuing controversy, with a fight led by Ons Jabeur and much of the tennis press. Plus, a review of the Rafa Nadal tribute (a job well done!).  

1:25 RG does the Rafa tribute right

8:05 Upsets galore on the men’s side

13:45 The men’s draw as it stands

24:25 Our women’s draw highlights

38:45 RG night session scheduling is a fight worth fighting 

52:50 Et ceteras: Jasmine “Solomon” Paolini, Ivanisevic joins Team Tsitsipas

Theme music courtesy of Oleg Fedak from Pixabay

Roland Garros is here, and it’s the first edition since Rafael Nadal’s retirement. We start with a few recollections of our favorite Nadal RG moments, then head straight into draw previews. Is Aryna the favorite? What to make of Iga’s tough draw? Will Novak take advantage and make one more stand in Paris? Is Carlos King? After talking through the draws, we recap some investigative reporting into Muller’s OnlyFans, plus we update you on some imminent retirements, the latest very typical happenings in Camila Giorgi’s life, and That Guy’s 37 trips to -- well, you can just listen.

0:45 Our favorite Rafa Roland Garros moments

3:25 Women’s draw preview 

17:45 Mboko makes it in, Bianca doesn’t qualify, Errani retires from singles 

24:45 Men’s draw preview

39:00  Prayers up for that guy’s esophagus

40:15 Assorted mess: An OnlyFans scammer, Giorgi does reality TV

At the Italian Open, Jasmine Paolini wins in singles and doubles while Carlos Alcaraz puts on his thinking cap to stop Jannik Sinner at the finish line. We take a beat to compare Sinner’s triumphal return from a doping suspension to that of Sharapova in 2017 (for one thing, she didn’t get to meet the pope). Plus, Djokovic breaks with Murray, Barbie is back, the US Open announces a construction project, and the surprising fallibility of something called Gorillalpha Yeti Juice.  

01:45 Welcoming Jannik back from a unexplained absence

12:30 When a delusional era lasts forever

15:45 A note about Lorenzo

20:00 Paolini brings the title back to Italy

31:15 Barbie K is back

33:30 Kicking off Roland Garros qualifying

35:50 Contamination cases have a Gorilla grip on tennis

39:50 US Open announces updates to its site – whether it’s an upgrade remains to be seen

Madrid ends with Aryna Sabalenka further extending her lead as number one, Casper Ruud grabbing his first Masters, and a lot of discourse around Iga Swiatek, Coco Gauff, and Naomi Osaka. We’ve got updates on: Jannik Sinner’s hero's welcome in Rome, Bianca Andreescu, Anastasija Sevastova, Tyra Grant, and more. We do a quick review of the strange but sometimes interesting Alcaraz Netflix documentary before wrapping the episode with a dive into the Max Purcell doping suspension, which is way more fascinating than he first let on. 

Theme music courtesy of Oleg Fedak from Pixabay

01:45 Penko being Penko

5:05 Madrid: the Iga discourse 

9:45 Sabalenka d. Gauff to win Madrid, joins the 11,000 points club 

13:40 Casper wins his first Masters 1000

20:20 Osaka drops a level and wins! 

23:15 Jannik, the ironic vir triumphalis, returns to Rome

26:15 Updates on Andreescu, Sevastova

30:20 The perplexing Alcaraz Netflix doc

40:00 Is Venus quiet quitting (or did she already)?

43:05 The Max Purcell doping case gets a lot more interesting

Clay season is underway, and we’ve seen a Runeaissance, a re-Alcarization, a Penkopalypse even. Stuttgart -- always reliable -- brought a stunning quarterfinal lineup and a surprise winner, while Holger reminded the class that there’s still tons of time to fulfill his promise. There’s much tennis business to talk about, including the first hearing in the PTPA antitrust suit and Opelka’s testimony; Lesia Tsurenko’s lawsuit against the WTA and Steve Simon; and a somewhat voyeuristic ITIA press release. Plus, Dart’s out of left field comment, Shelly Ann clearing the field, and wondering what happened in that Met Gala bathroom meeting.

Theme music courtesy of Oleg Fedak from Pixabay

0:40 Housekeeping: catching a case, getting postcards out

4:50 Holger’s back; Alcaraz wins Monte Carlo, returns briefly to #2

15:45 Stuttgart moves like a 1000-level bitch 

22:15 Another spectator calls out That Guy, this time in Germany

26:50 PTPA gets their first hearing, Opelka testifies

35:00 Harriet why?!  

37:00 Serena on Jannik and … Maria?

42:20 I always feel like somebody’s watching me 

45:35 Lesia Tsurenko sues the WTA

56:25 Our other sporting interests: Shelly Ann & Rory

Yes, it’s been a minute, but we’re back to catch up on Monte Carlo, Charleston, and sadly yes, all the way back to Miami. The top men have utterly failed to capitalize on Sinner’s mandatory vacation, while on the women’s side, Sabalenka extends her rankings lead and Pegula snatches #3 with her strong start to the year. We’ve also got: Kasatkina’s move to Australia, the top WTA and ATP players sending a letter to the Slams a few weeks after the PTPA lawsuit, a few listener questions, and more. 

1:10 Monte Carlo updates: why, Grigor, why?

9:10 Charleston results

14:20 Miami: Eala stuns Iga, Aryna extends her lead

25:30 Don’t count your chickens before they hatch 

28:20 Dasha Kasatkina is now representing Australia 

31:00 The players do love an epistle 

37:20 Coaching and baby news

40:35 A listener question

This week, we’re diving into the antitrust lawsuit brought by the PTPA against the tennis ‘cartel.’ The wide-ranging complaint takes aim at prize money, scheduling, ranking points, anti-doping, and what they broadly view as anticompetitive and illegal activity by the tennis governing bodies. What does the PTPA hope to gain? Which parts make sense, and which leave us with some skepticism? Is unionization a goal, and if so, is it even possible? After spending most of the episode breaking down the major issues in the lawsuit, we hop over to Miami, where all 4 male Indian Wells semifinalists have crashed out, Rafa Nadal Academy grads are making waves, and Djokovic is hobnobbing with the Establishment.

0:55 PTPA files an antitrust lawsuit in three countries - first up, yes we know it doesn’t technically matter, but why these plaintiffs?

06:55 What are the allegations?

24:15 What is the desired outcome?

28:05 Is unionization possible (and is it even a goal)?

36:10 What works and what doesn’t

40:05 The parallels with LIV Golf

46:00 Crashing out in Miami 

55:00 You are the company you keep

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Have we entered the Mirra era? If you know us, you know we’re not saying that, we just wanted to say Mirra era. Andreeva fashioned a Keys-esque run to the title in the desert, beating the same four players Madison did to win the AO from the fourth round onward...in the same order! We talk about Iga, we talk about Jack, and we field some more listener questions on TBS 375

02:15 The Mirra Era

12:19 The Conchita Effect

17:01 What’s up with Iga?

26:28 Jack Draper arrives

37:34 Taking a question about Larry Ellison …

46:32 Finding joy in tennis when things outside of tennis are generally terrible 

51:22 If tennis were played on only one surface, which would you keep?

53:38 RHOP and other Bravo musings 

We’re back to a regular schedule, and up first it’s week one of Indian Wells: Nick and Novak struggling with injury and form, That Guy simply struggling to avoid the #1 ranking. We chat about the draw, the WTA’s new maternity leave benefits program, plus Danielle Collins’ clothing collab and the impetus behind it. Later on we get into some fun listener questions, with subjects as diverse as cricket, gospel music, the Knicks, and public transportation.  

03:15 Question from @lisacrispin on Bluesky: how long does it take to produce each episode?

08:35 Nick’s wrist injury

12:50 Dutch tennis rolls over Novak and That Guy  

17:25 Danielle Collins’ merch drop

24:55 IW draw recap

29:15 WTA announces maternity leave benefits program funded by PIF

33:55 How are we feeling about the Knicks? (question from @dabigjoker on Bluesky)

38:00 Jonathan picks his test cricket XI from tennis players (question from @edwardpolsen)

46:55 Public transit fun (@irascibly) 

49:25 Since it's Oscars season, what actors could you see playing various players in imaginary biopics? (@lobjan) 

54:45 And finally, what’s with our nickname for Kimberly Birrell? (@tomcharles2710)