⁠Resilence quiz⁠

⁠83% of Americans reported that they felt they were resilient but research showed that only 57% were resilient. ⁠

⁠T’s article on the cynic ⁠

You can’t kill the Rooster! https://youtube.com/watch?v=qLqHfpJrfLA&feature=share⁠

⁠Cyclical Sighing Breath Technique made popular By Andrew Huberman ⁠

⁠Rumi⁠ mention

⁠ACEs study questions⁠

Work with us!

Find Alex

⁠www.thewomansbodycoach.com⁠

IG @⁠womansbodycoach⁠ 

Find T 

Beingrealnow.org 

FB: ⁠T at Being Real 

T and Alex discuss this controversial and cutting edge topic to explore why females tend more towards disguised competitive strategies as opposed to males who are direct and overt when competing with one another. We discover why this particular evolutionary strategy developed (there are very good reasons), what purpose it served and ideas about moving forward in a world with shifting rules. This is a mostly unexplored topic  which we haven't heard discussed much outside of academia. We are excited to bring it forward in the hopes of inspiring debate and the development of new ideas, so that one day, in the not too distant future, females can move out in the world and finally say openly and without reprisal "I want to win."

This podcast comes with a trigger warning since we discuss sensitive topics such as social exclusion. 

Alex has a new self guided VIP area! at The Woman's Body Coach DIY your way to good health with this integrated approach to health and fitness. It's just $30 a month until March when the price increases so don't miss this opportunity! SIGN UP 

T is a counselor, and currently has a couple of openings for new clients. Find out about T and book at Being Real

The development of human female competition: allies and adversaries

TOXIC: it's one of those 'buzz' words that has made it into popular culture to describe everything we feel has maladaptive qualities. When considering the title for this podcast we had a conversation about whether we ought to use the term, since the very use of it indicates a resistance to what is a common cultural coping strategy. By labelling something toxic we banish it to shameful places in ourselves which in turn shuts down curiosity and open exploration, something very much needed if we are going to understand this phenomenon better. 

We decided to to run with the term since it provides a useful heuristic people immediately connect with, but this conversation is not about tearing down the mantle, we have fun exploring the cultural drive towards positivity and why we find it so hard to experience the full range of our own emotions and that of others. We offer workable solutions to allowing experiences we might find difficult to process, we discuss how capitalism plays a role in reinforcing positivity, gaslighting ourselves and how to reclaim our 'realness' in a culture that is constantly suggesting we self-abandon either overtly or covertly. Fun conversation with many twists and turns. It's good to be back.

Show Notes:

We mentioned the work of Barbara Ehrenreich Bright Sided.

We referenced a study 'Positive Psychology: Kindness Changes the Chromosomes

We used the R.A.I.N technique created by Michele McDonald and popularized by Tara Brach.

Alex mentioned the podcast No Stupid Questions ep 120 Why Are Rich Countries So Unhappy, as of 2022 Finland is still rated as the happiest country in the world, whereas the US is now 19.  

Work with Alex: IG @womansbodycoach www.thewomansbodycoach.com 

Work with T Beingrealnow.org

Follow the podcast on IG @buddhaandthebodycoach

Our 8th and final episode of this series covers a topic we all unfortunately know too well -  emotional reactivity.

We explore:

What is Emotional REACTIVITY!? How does it show up for us? Why do we get reactive and how do we get better at being non-reactive, without sacrificing our own integrity and boundaries? Ultimately we want to understand just why we would let go of this (ego) self protection strategy. What’s the pay off? Is it worth it? We think so. Join us in this conversation which has been a deep subject uncovering many layers of the self.

Topics covered

Mentions: Diamond Approach, Adyashanti, Wilhelm Reich, Alexander Lowen, Peter Levine, Bessel van der Kolk

Jean Paul Sartre: It is the source of Sartre's especially famous phrase "L'enfer, c'est les autres" or "Hell is other people", a reference to Sartre's ideas about the look and the perpetual ontological struggle of being caused to see oneself as an object from the view of another consciousness.

Links:

Window of tolerance (Dr. Daniel Siegel)

Psychopathy and Victim Selection: The Use of Gait as a Cue to Vulnerability

Work with T: http://beingrealnow.org/

Work with Alex: thewomansbodycoach.com

Follow us on Instagram @Buddhaandthebodycoach

Alex and T take a deep dive into boundaries. . .but hopefully not into each others.

What are boundaries and where do they happen? We discuss different types of boundaries like physical, mental, and emotional as well as boundary qualities from porous to rigid. Work, families, social culture . . .we get into it. Find out about enmeshment, rigidity and control, negative merging, and what's up with the cookie. Monty Python comes up as do a few other great resources below. 

Mentions and Resources:

Bessel Van Der Kolk: The body keeps the score

Gemma Hartley: Women aren't nags-we're just fed up

ACES Study in-depth video with ACES originator Dr. Vincent Felitti

Monty Python: Catholics

Monty Python: Protestants

A little bit culty podcast

What are values and why do they matter? Where did they come from and are they ours or someone else's (family, culture, tribe)? How do we get clear about our values, what gets in the way of living our values? We'll look at values and meaning, the platonic ideas (truth, beauty and goodness), as well as living our values without shame, blame, and criticism. How do the more superficial reflect our deeper internal values?

And much more . . .even a cameo Coast Guard helicopter fly over.

The Hidden Life of Trees Documentary

Diamond Approach: deep take on value

In Amazing Attachment Theory Part 2 T and Alex discuss the fourth attachment style, disorganized attachment. What kind of environment contributes to this attachment style? What are the characteristics of disorganized attachment style and how does it show up? We’ll be talking about the consequences of disorganized attachment and why it’s really important to seek support. We discuss how to begin the work of repair for all of the insecure attachment styles so we can move forward in the world with an earned secure attachment.   Show notes: Dan Siegel The Developing Mind  Dr. Edward Tronick Still face experiment   Sue Marriott and Dr Anne Kelly Therapist Uncensored This is a great episode on a podcast that is loaded with good ones. There is a specific treatment to work with attachment. Many PDF's and info about the book Attachment disturbances in Adults by Brown and Elliott. 

The Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology absolute treasure trove!

Alex's Website: Thewomansbodycoach.com

T's Website: Beingrealnow.org

Alex and T share a powerful tool they have found in their years of self-exploration and working with others.

Attachment theory is one of the most researched and developed ideas in the field of psychology and relationships. Here is a little history both personal and about this amazing field of study. Covered here: the brilliant researchers, many of them women . . . Mary Ainsworth, Margaret Mahler, Mary Main, Patricia Crittenden, Carol George, as well as John Bowlby, and Dr. Daniel Siegel

Books: 

Attached Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Becoming Attached Robert Karen 

The Developing Mind Dr. Daniel Siegel

Strange Situation Bethany Saltman

Links:

Diane Poole Heller Attachment test

Dan Siegel Video on Avoidant Attachment

Alex's website: The Woman's Body Coach

T's Website: BeingRealNow

A deep dive into the workings of the inner critic also known as the judge and the super-ego.

What is the inner critic? 

How does it function in the mind/psyche both personally and collectively? 

What can we do to begin working with the inner critic and lessen its power? Learn a clarifying technique to "RIDD" ourselves of judgement.

This particular form of inner work can be so impactful and really shift the the way we relate to ourselves. We are very passionate about sharing these understandings, experiences and tools which can facilitate such big changes so quickly.

Resources

Alex at thewomansbodycoach.com

T at Beingrealnow.org 

Soul without shame Byron Brown:

Nonviolent Communication Self guide:

Taming your gremlin Rick Carson:

Embracing your inner critic:

The unfolding now A.H. Almaas:

Is the universe a friendly place?

Is there a way to connect to an inner sense of "goodness" that we can carry with us even in stressful times?

Join Alex and T as they discuss the path of self-regulation. They will discuss the impacts of self-regulation in their own lives and how those have endured over time. The "what's", "why's, and the "how's" of portable goodness are explored in depth. A well regulated nervous system is the ground for a passionate and joyful life. Join us for the conversation, learn something and have some laughs along the way.

Show notes:

Find Alex thewomansbodycoach.com Find T beingrealnow.org