Build The Damn Thing

Whether navigating the complexities of divorce, stepping away from a business venture, or exiting any significant chapter of your life, leaving can be a difficult art. In this episode, Kathryn and Darlene Gillard Jones discuss the nuances of knowing when to leave and the importance of doing it in a way that doesn't destroy what you’ve built.

“Figuring out how to leave is a delicate dance, and you definitely need a strategy.”

One thing you should keep in mind is that leaving is a change, and many people are not very good with change. So you have to recognize that when you leave a situation, many people will not be comfortable with you leaving because they're uncomfortable with change. You’re not disappointing people; they just don’t like change. Realizing this truth can help make it a little bit easier to leave.

“One of the things I wanna encourage everyone to do is to figure out how to remove yourself from a situation before you get to the point of losing yourself.”

It can be tempting to stay in a stable situation, even when you’re no longer growing and it’s no longer the best environment for you. When you’re thinking about how to leave, be sure to center who you are and meditate a bit. The biggest part of leaving anything is knowing yourself and your reasons for doing this. And when you're clear on that, it makes it much easier to exit.

“My goal is to leave in a way that honors me and who I am, but also to make sure that whatever I build continues on.”

You don’t have to leave in a way that hurts other people or burns bridges. Instead, you should strive to leave with dignity while preserving relationships and fostering growth. Doing this requires intention, authenticity, and a deep understanding of the impact our departures can have on those around us.

Guest

Darlene Gillard Jones: https://www.darlenegillardjones.com/ 

After George Floyd's death, Gizelle George-Joseph, Partner and Global Chief Operating Officer of the Global Investment Research Division at Goldman Sachs realized that she could leverage her platform to bring a voice to the issues in the Black community. In this episode, she and Kathryn discuss how businesses can be a force for positive change, the importance of diversity in leadership, and the role of inclusive research in shaping a more equitable future.

“Black women, for all of the progress that we've made over the last few decades…experience just massive inequalities across such a broad range of economic measures.”

Gizelle’s research uncovered the massive inequalities still experienced by Black women, which led to Goldman Sachs’  1 Million Black Women, an investment initiative that committed  $10 billion in direct investment capital and $100 million in philanthropic support to address the dual disproportionate gender and racial biases that Black women have faced for generations.

“If we as a society can effectively address gender and racial economic disparities, it is not just the right thing to do…it's actually really good for business and good for the economy.” 

Addressing structural problems like racism actually helps the economy. Doing well in business isn't just about profits. It's about building something that resonates globally, empowers communities, addresses global challenges, and leaves a positive mark on our planet. 

“As an investor, I have no interest in just making individuals rich. I am in it because I wanna see communities be right.”

Scarcity-based capitalism creates a winner-take-all mentality. But stakeholder capitalism says that we are all in this together and that we all can win. It’s really about building wealth in the community, both for those who excel in the capitalist ecosystem and those who are unable to participate actively in it. 

Guest

Gizelle George Joseph: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gizelle-george-joseph-9a127319/

One of the hardest people to be in the world is a brilliant Black woman because Black women leaders are rarely given the mentorship, guidance, and grace needed to be truly successful. In this episode, Kathryn and Kimberly Bryant, founder of Black Girls Code, discuss the power of supporting Black women leaders. This episode explores the strategies, practices, and nuances that go into fostering a thriving leadership ecosystem for Black women.

“We as Black women and Black-women-run entities are undervalued, underfunded, and undersupported.”

Despite doing the work and often doing it even better than others, Black women face a dearth of support in entrepreneurship. They have more barriers to raising capital and creating a strong network. Their businesses often receive less funding and publicity than similar businesses owned by white founders. 

“We need to be very active about aligning Black women to be successful.”

One concrete way to support Black women leaders is not just to open a door but walk with them- hand in hand- across the threshold. One way to do this is to facilitate warm introductions, sharing why you’ve decided to invest.

“And all along the path, there were other women, mostly Black women, that kind of pushed me along and held me up every step of the way.”

Creating a network of support is important for business success. Often the highest level of support comes from those who are most proximate to the problem(s) you are trying to solve. 

Guest

Kimberly Bryant: https://premierespeakers.com/kimberly-bryant/bio

How do we access our full potential? In this episode, Kathryn and her guest, expert life hacker  Torian Richardson,  explore how to hack your way to reaching your full potential- addressing setbacks, failures, and doubts head-on. Learn how to deal with the fear of permitting yourself to live the life you want to live and how to cultivate resilience in your own life.

“I can't give what I don't have, right? So, I can't give time if I don't have it. I can't give resources or money or love if I don't have those things for myself.” 

You can’t serve your family or community if you have nothing left for yourself. You need to be able to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help others. One way to do that is to set intentional boundaries around how much you can give and to recognize that you don’t have to say yes to every request. No is a complete sentence, and it’s crucial to be able to say it without feeling the need to apologize or explain.

“As entrepreneurs, we talk a lot about business success and structure, and that's all pretty clear. But the most successful entrepreneurs I know in life, not just in business, are those who do the healing work internally… and really understand the cost of success.”

One of Torian’s biggest strategies for resilience is cultivating self-awareness. You have to really understand your strengths and weaknesses and areas where you may need to ask for help. Self-awareness also means understanding your values and where to place your loyalty and commitment.

Guest

Torian Richardson: https://torianrichardson.wordpress.com/

We say we want change but often don’t budget for its cost. In this episode, Kathryn and her guest, Denise Hamilton, founder of WatchHer and author of Indivisible, examine the complexities of adapting to change and uncover effective strategies for navigating these shifts seamlessly. 

“We often say that we want change, but we don't budget for the cost of change, right?”

Change means more than just making minor adjustments. There is a cost to real change. For example, change can mean calling out toxic practices or people, even if the people are powerful and the practices are just how things have always been done. 

“You can't be intentionally exclusive for hundreds of years and then be accidentally inclusive. You have to do the work.”

Part of Denise’s diversity and inclusion work is helping leaders understand that they need to push against the status quo actively. They can’t just coast and pretend to do the work to create inclusivity; rather, it’s about changing the company's underlying culture. But this is hard for many leaders because humans, in general, tend to resist change and see it as a threat. As Denise writes in her recent book, Indivisible, the goal should be beyond surface-level inclusivity and focused on making actual change.

“If you create a paradigm of change that only suggests sacrifice, it will be mighty hard to get up the hill. You have to show how making these changes benefits everyone.” 

Many corporations have abandoned commitments made after George Floyd's murder. However, some corporations are sticking to the promises they made in 202, and those that are sticking with their promises are doing very well financially. 

Guest

Denise Hamilton: DeniseHamilton.co

Entrepreneurship demands dedication, innovation, and unwavering focus… and so does dating. In this episode, Kathryn speaks with celebrity hairstylist and designer AJ Johnson, who has navigated the intricacies of dating while pursuing business ambitions. 

“One thing that I definitely think [that high-powered women] could do is instill in themselves self-love… because you're not gonna be able to share or receive love from nobody else if you don't feel it about yourself.”

To find a life partner successfully, you have to put as much effort into dating as you do into building your career. A key component of this is spending time learning about yourself and, more importantly, loving yourself. 

“In our community, there's a certain level of validation that you get as a Black woman when a Black man ‘chooses’ you...then when you decide that there's more that you want, it is really shocking for people.” 

Women, particularly Black women, often stay in marriages or partnerships where they may not actually be valued because of the outside validation of being “chosen”. Choosing yourself, while not always easy in our social media-driven culture, is the key to lasting happiness. 

Guest 

AJ Johnson: @iamajjohnson 

Balancing the beautiful chaos of motherhood with the demands of entrepreneurship can be a real challenge. In this episode, Kathryn is joined by fashion designer and Project Runway alumnus Laurence Basse to discuss the joys of motherhood and entrepreneurship. 

“ I'm a rockstar mom.” 

Having your child be part of your work life can give them more insight into who you are and what you do when you’re not being Mom. For Kathryn and Laurence, having their kids around when they work means that the kids better understand what they do and why. 

“I never felt very connected to regular mothers because I feel like when I was supposed to go out and, and have fun and be a kid, I was already a mom.”

Laurence knew she was an artist from a very young age. When she was accepted to fashion school at 16, she discovered she was pregnant with her son. She quickly had to learn to balance the demands of motherhood and her education.

“I had a nice little career modeling, but I got bored. I did everything I wanted to do with that, and I needed to create.” 

While still in design school, Laurence became a successful model. But modeling wasn’t enough; she still wanted to create the clothes other models were wearing on the runway. So she left her support network and moved to New York as a single mom to chase the dream of opening her own studio. She did everything with her son, including all the travel needed for her work.

Guest 

Laurence Basse: @laurencebasse 

Are you struggling to balance work, life, and family? In this episode, Kathryn and her guest, Darlene Gillard Jones, provide real advice and heartwarming stories to help entrepreneurs maintain a healthy work-life balance. Darlene was a fashion editor who was doing it all at magazines like ELLE and Essence. But the late nights and constant travel weren’t easily compatible with raising her young children and helping care for her mother with cancer. So, she decided to leave that life behind for a creative life which she controls. 

“Figure out how to simplify things that don't need to be complicated.”

Accepting help can be hard. However, seeking support–whether that’s with cooking, childcare, or day-to-day administrative tasks–is crucial to creating balance in your life. Work-life balance means constantly making choices about what to add and remove from your personal bag of tasks.

“There's a difference between self-care and selfishness. And I think many people don't understand that self-care is honoring myself. I'm refueling my tank so I can give to others.”

Self-care is sacred. If you’re not filling your own cup, you can’t help fill someone else’s. Knowing what is important to you and carving out time for it on your calendar means you’re more likely to take that time for yourself and avoid burnout.

“We are trained from birth to serve everyone but ourselves.”

Balance is often not something that people are encouraged to have, particularly women and particularly women of color. But you need to be able to decide what is important to you and what you need out of your own life.

Guest

Darlene Gillard Jones: https://www.darlenegillardjones.com/ 

Many have walked unconventional paths, made bold decisions, and exhibited incredible resilience. They've not only broken barriers but also redefined what's possible. In this episode, Kathryn is joined by Roger Carter, an award-winning visual artist who captures the context of modern culture and the persona of the African-American journey to the representation of iconic images in everyday citizens. 

“Good art, whatever that may mean, elicits discussion. Maybe it gets people to think differently. Maybe it gets them to ask questions and explore.”

We tend to see our public heroes as flat, ignoring all of the dimensions that make them more than their public personas. Roger’s art challenges the viewer to see other dimensions in these icons and to think about them differently. 

“In art classes…the teacher [said], you have to do something this way and do it that way. And I didn't think that was art.”

Some people believe that art is coloring inside the lines, that it’s rigid, rule-bound, and fixed. But for Roger, art meant something more authentic, where he could do his own thing. When you are your most authentic self, it permits other people also to be authentically themselves. In embracing your own authenticity, you’re also giving others a space to find their own sense of self. 

“I'm still this type of artist: If I don't have something in front of me, I'll just make it.”

When Roger grew up in Chicago, he and his friends couldn’t afford Air Jordans or Nikes. Instead, they would get sneakers from the thrift shop and he would paint a Nike logo on them. He was determined to find a way to stand out while working with what he had, and his art today continues that trend by using whatever materials he can find in the recycling and letting the art come from what’s on hand.

Guest 

Roger Carter: https://www.rogerjcarter.art

Do you center joy in your life? In this episode, Kathryn and author Bevy Smith share tips on how to center joy in all areas of your life, from work to your personal life. You’ll learn what centering joy in your life looks like, how to find your own blissful brand, and how living in joy can help you be successful.

“You cannot be in your joy, in your bliss, if you are being something you're not. And part of that is showing up a hundred percent who you are.”

It can be hard to center joy in a world where happiness is determined by the amount of “things” you possess. The key to being blissful is to focus on what’s important to YOU. 

“It's very hard for people from our community to acknowledge or to admit to ourselves much less than anyone else when we are unhappy.”

We’re not encouraged to think about how to center joy in our lives or even what “joy” means. However, the key to a fulfilling life is figuring out our own definitions of joy.  

“I think the first step to changing your life is acknowledging that this current life you're in is not working anymore.”

The first step towards change and a life where you can truly center joy is acknowledging the space that you're in. You need to understand why you feel like you can’t pursue joy in your life so that you can figure out what needs to change. However recognizing the need for change can be hard, especially if you have achieved traditional success through the access and money that society tells you should lead to happiness.

Guest

Bevy Smith: https://www.bevysmith.com/