Building Humans

Can your child handle a moment when no adult is watching? In this Block, Josh shares two true stories and a simple plan: teach your child to spot the danger, step away, and tell a grown-up, even if their friends are staying. For kids around 5 and up.

Full version

A quick note: This Block includes a firearm and the loss of a child. We keep it brief and not graphic, but you may want to listen without little ones nearby.

We can't know what our children will find in a park, at a neighbor's house, or in another child's backpack. Josh shares two true stories that deeply affected families he knows, then walks through a short conversation that gives your child information they can act on. It takes about thirty minutes and can protect your child for years.

In this Block

• Two true stories, and why both sets of parents wish they'd talked with their kids first
• How to build a list of the dangers where you live
• How to teach three simple rules with pictures and a game
• What your child should do when friends want to play with the object
• Easy exit lines kids can use, like "I'll be right back"
• The questions to ask other parents, grandparents and babysitters before a playdate or sleepover
• Why this talk works alongside safe storage at home, not in place of it

The big idea: Teach your child to spot the danger, step away, and tell a grown-up, even if their friends are staying.

Resources

• Questions to ask other parents or caregivers
• If a child may have swallowed something dangerous, Poison Help is 1-800-222-1222 in the United States. (Not mentioned in the Block. Delete if you prefer.)

Sources mentioned in this Block

• CDC: Preventing firearm violence and injuries impacting children and teens. Firearm injuries were the leading cause of death among children and teens ages 1 to 19 in 2020 and 2021.
• KFF: Child and Adolescent Firearm Deaths. In 2024, firearm and motor vehicle death rates for those 17 and under were both 3.0 per 100,000.

Timestamps

• 0:00 Welcome and a quick note
• 0:27 Two true stories
• 1:57 Why do we need to talk about this?
• 3:45 What are the dangers where you live?
• 4:45 How do you teach it?
• 5:40 What if their friends want to play with it?
• 6:45 How do you follow through?
• 7:22 When should you revisit this?
• 7:38 So what's the big idea?
• 7:57 Thanks for listening

Note on the statistic: The Block says firearms have been "one of the leading causes of death" for children and teens since 2020. CDC calls it the leading cause for ages 1 to 19 in 2020 and 2021, and KFF shows it tied with motor vehicles for ages 17 and under in 2024, so "one of the leading causes" is accurate. The KFF page is dated March 12, 2026.

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Most children who are harmed know and trust the person who harmed them, and many don't tell for a long time. Josh shares a simple conversation that helps your child know they can always tell you, plus how to explain good secrets and bad secrets.

Content note: this Block discusses child safety and abuse prevention. It isn't graphic, but you may want to listen without children nearby.

At Building Humans, we spend a lot of time on coaching our kids. This Block is about the other half of parenting: keeping them safe.

We want to think of our homes as safe places, and most are. But abuse of children is far too common, and it's usually someone the child knows and trusts, not a stranger. Children often stay silent for a long time, partly because the person hurting them tells them to keep it a secret.

In this Block, Josh walks through a simple, low-fear conversation that can shorten the time harm lasts, by making sure your child knows there is nothing they could tell you that would stop you from loving and helping them.

In this Block

• Why this Block is different from most, and why it matters

• What the research says about who harms children, when it starts, and how long children wait to tell

• Why someone who wants to hurt a child asks for a secret, and what they may say about "your parents will be angry"

• How to start the conversation: pick a calm time, then use simple examples to show your love is unconditional (the wolf, the bear, a thousand bees, painting every house the same color)

• How to explain "bad people" and secrets without frightening your child

• Good secrets vs. bad secrets, including birthday surprises

• A sorting game for older children

• How to follow through, and why you shouldn't ask leading questions

• When to revisit as your child grows

• What to do if you're worried a child is being hurt

This Block takes less than 15 minutes to listen to. Teaching it to your child can be as simple as one calm conversation. Revisit it about once a year, or more often as you feel is right for your child's age.

If you're worried about a child: In the United States, you can call or text the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453, any time. If a child is in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency number.

Sources for this Block

• https://www.cdc.gov/child-abuse-neglect/about/about-child-sexual-abuse.html 

• https://www.recercat.cat/handle/2445/27746 

• https://e2epublishing.info/en-us/blogs/empowed/12-confronting-child-sexual-abuse-statistics-all-parents-need-to-know 

  
  

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Holidays can be a minefield for young kids: new people, new rules, and a routine that disappears. Josh shares how to set realistic expectations, explain what's expected, and build in "safety valves" so everyone enjoys the day.

Memories of past holidays are probably not accurate. We tend to remember what we enjoyed most and forget the meltdowns. But through your young child's eyes, a family gathering can mean less time with you, a changed routine, unfamiliar people in "their" space, and long stretches of sitting still.

In this Block, Josh helps you see the holidays from your child's point of view and gives you simple ways to set them up for success.

In this Block

• What a holiday gathering actually means to a young child

• Realistic expectations: children ages 3 to 5 can only sit for about 15 to 20 minutes without entertainment

• How to tell your child your hopes and concerns, and give them a job

• Building rituals your child will enjoy and appreciate

• "Explain the plot": why kids do better when they understand what the holiday means

• Helping them understand what's expected, including where they'll sit, how to be excused, gift etiquette, touching and autonomy, and welcoming guests

• Creating "safety valves": quiet activities, a quiet place, and how to ask for attention

• Checking in with your child during the event

This Block takes about 15 to 30 minutes to teach. Review it each year before the big holidays, since your child will have grown and have new preferences and concerns.

Resources

• Free printable Holiday Expectations Guide, with sample scripts for six common holidays

• Block 6 - How to Teach Your Child Not to Interrupt: A Quiet Hand-on-the-Knee Method | Ep. 6

• Website: https://buildinghumans.com

If this helped, subscribe so you don't miss the next Block, and share it with a parent who has a holiday coming up.

"Mom, mom, mom, MOM!" Kids interrupt because they haven't learned another way yet. Josh shares a quiet, quick and easy to teach method: a hand on your knee, your hand over theirs, and a short wait.

You're in the middle of a conversation, and your child needs you right now. If they don't have a better tool, they'll use the one they've got: shouting.

In this Block, Josh explains why young kids interrupt, and gives you a simple, quiet method to teach instead.

In this Block

• Why young children interrupt: short attention spans and a need that feels huge and immediate

• Step one: your child places a hand on your knee or shoulder, which means "I need to ask you something," and you place your hand over theirs, which means "I hear you, give me a moment"

• How to finish your conversation politely: "Would you excuse me a minute?"

• Why you should practice at home first, and why you shouldn't make a young child wait long at the start

• Step two: the squeeze, which tells you how urgent something is

• How to tell the difference between urgent (the bathroom, not feeling well) and not urgent (a cupcake)

• Following through: coaching when it goes wrong, and praising in front of others when it goes right

• How often to practice, and how to stretch the wait over time

• Two common questions: "My child interrupts anyway" and "My child wandered off before I got to them"

This Block takes about twenty minutes to teach.

Resources

• Website: https://buildinghumans.com

If this helped, subscribe so you don't miss the next Block, and share it with a parent who could use it.

At some point, you'll be separated from your child. Whether it's a scary moment or a full-blown panic often comes down to whether you've talked about it ahead of time. Josh shares a simple plan for kids of every age.

Maybe you got distracted for thirty seconds. Maybe your kid picked exactly the right moment to run. It happens to nearly every family.

In this Block, Josh covers:

• Why a plan turns a terrifying moment into a to-do list, for your child and for you

• The places it's most likely to happen: grocery and big-box stores, malls, fairs and parades, theme parks and zoos, airports and stations, beaches, stadiums, and family reunions

• Kids around four to six: who to look for (another parent with children, or someone wearing a name badge) and exactly what to say

• Why we point young kids to specific people instead of "a grown-up"

• Teaching your cell phone number once your child can remember ten digits

• Older kids: rally points, and how to choose one that works

• Why having a backup plan is good for all families, even in the age of technology

• A fallback rule for the times you forgot to pick a spot

• How often to practice, and how to keep it casual

• How to run the first conversation in about twenty minutes

Resources

• Website: https://buildinghumans.com

If this helped, subscribe so you don't miss the next Block, and share it with a parent who could use it.

One of the simplest tools you can hand your child: slowing their breathing on command. Josh explains why it works, why it isn't about stopping tears, and how to teach it in a few minutes a day.

When kids (and adults) get scared, hurt, or overwhelmed, breathing speeds up and the body goes into fight-or-flight. That's useful in real danger. It's much less useful when your three-year-old is in a full frenzy over a broken cracker and can't hear a word you're saying.

In this Block, Josh covers:

• Why slow, deep breathing is one of the few tools that can interrupt the stress cycle

• Why this is not about stopping tears or suppressing feelings, since crying is healthy

• The loop you're helping your child break: when they're upset because they're upset

• Why the number one thing that helps a child calm down is watching you stay calm

• Why self-regulation usually isn't realistic until around five to seven, and what to build before then

• How to teach it, step by step, when your child is already calm

• Two tricks that help: blowing on your hand, and using your hand like a metronome

• How to coach your child through it in the moment

• Answers to two common questions

• A bonus use: bedtime

Resources

• Website: https://buildinghumans.com

If this helped, subscribe so you don't miss the next Block, and share it with a parent who could use it.

Start a weekly tradition of learning together. Josh covers what young kids need from birth to the age of reason, how to protect your own patience, and the when, where, and how of teaching a life skill, plus three scripts for introducing your new tradition to kids ages 5 to 8.

Long before your child can sit down and learn a "skill" with you, you're building the most important tool you'll ever have as a parent: the trust, love, and mutual respect in your relationship's bank account.

In this Block, Josh covers:

• Why you cannot ruin a young child by holding them, comforting them, or meeting their needs

• Why every piece of parenting advice has to be filtered through your specific kid

• How to handle the moment when a baby's crying is pushing your own stress response

• What kids need at ages two to three, and three to five

• What a Block is

• How to start a weekly skill-building tradition: time, place, length, and tone

• A quick checklist to keep in your back pocket

• Three short scripts for telling your kids what's coming: "The Team," "The Adventure," and "Simple and Direct"

• Tips for delivering them

Resources

• Website: https://buildinghumans.com

If this helped, subscribe so you don't miss the next Block, and share it with a parent who could use it.

"Am I actually doing this right?" Every parent asks it. In this Block that’s just for parents, Josh explains why parenting is a skill you can get better at, why honesty builds trust, and how to tell punishment, discipline, and consequences apart.

Every parent has lain awake wondering whether they're doing enough. This Block starts with the idea that you're going to put in the effort of parenting one way or the other. The only real choice is whether you invest it now or feel the guilt later.

From there, Josh covers:

• Why parenting is a skill like any other, and how a growth mindset (researched by psychologist Carol Dweck) applies to you as much as to your kids

• Why competence creates confidence, and why handing kids tools beats handing them answers

• Why honesty with your kids, including admitting your mistakes, earns respect instead of losing it

• The two big jobs of a parent: keeping kids safe, and being their decision coach

• The difference between punishment, discipline, and consequences

• Why positive reinforcement outperforms criticism (some researchers suggest as many as six positive interactions for every critical one)

• Your own baggage: three honest questions to ask before you discipline

• How consequences change as kids grow, from natural consequences with young children to teens handling their own

Resources

• Website: https://buildinghumans.com

If this helped, subscribe so you don't miss the next Block, and share it with a parent who could use it.

Few things matter as much as how we raise our children. In this first episode, Josh explains what Building Humans is, introduces "Blocks" (short lessons you can teach your kids), and shares the seven core beliefs behind everything on the show.

Welcome to Building Humans!

We’re a parenting podcast and lesson library for parents who want to raise capable, confident, independent kids on purpose, not by accident, through intentional time together building critical life-skills.

In this welcome episode, host Josh explains why parenting is some of the most important work any of us will ever do, why we chose the name Building Humans, and how the show works. He introduces Blocks, our word for a single foundational lesson: a skill, a piece of knowledge, or a mindset. Some are for you, the parents. Most are things you'll teach your kids, with the prep work already done.

Then he lays out the seven beliefs behind every episode:

1. Good parenting takes work, and it's worth it.

2. Children are driven to thrive.

3. Teaching and encouragement out-perform punishment and criticism.

4. Real confidence comes from real competence.

5. Parenting goes more smoothly when you and your child share an understanding of what your relationship is for.

6. Intentional quality time builds skills and connection together.

7. Honesty about your own parenting builds trust.

Resources

• Website: https://buildinghumans.com

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