If you're a dad seeking to build a deeper relationship with your daughter and empower her to grow into a confident, independent woman, the "Dad and Daughter Connection" podcast is the resource you've been looking for. In the latest episode, host Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with Rob Donovan, a devoted father of two, to explore the ups and downs of modern fatherhood, sharing both practical tips and heartfelt stories that will resonate with any parent.

From the start, Dr. Christopher Lewis sets the tone: fatherhood isn't about perfection—it's about presence. This central message weaves through the episode as Rob Donovan recounts his own parenting journey, including the surprises he encountered as his daughters' personalities took shape. He shares how one daughter, contrary to his expectations, turned out to be more artistically inclined, while the other took after him in her love of sports. Rob Donovan emphasizes the significance of meeting each child where they are—celebrating their uniqueness and supporting their preferred interests, whether that means roller hockey in the driveway or karaoke in the living room.

A recurring theme in the conversation is the importance of letting children develop their independence, even as we instinctively want to protect them. Rob Donovan candidly discusses the balancing act of giving his daughters space to solve their own problems—from playground squabbles to learning how to handle disappointment and frustration—while always remaining a supportive presence in their lives.

The episode also dives into how dads can intentionally foster strong bonds during challenging moments. Rob Donovan opens up about overcoming his own discomfort around childhood injuries, a legacy of his military experiences, and learning to comfort his daughters with patience and understanding. He shares the family routines that keep them connected, like special breakfast traditions and shared musical moments, underscoring that it's often the simplest rituals that leave the deepest impact.

One of the most inspiring messages from the episode comes when Rob Donovan advises fellow dads to "just go for it" and always get involved—no matter how different your children's passions may be from your own. As he says, "Dive right in… you never know, you might enjoy it with them."

The "Dad and Daughter Connection" podcast reminds us that fatherhood is a journey of growth—for both father and child. Each episode offers encouragement, wisdom, and a sense of camaraderie for dads everywhere. Listen in, get inspired, and start building the lasting connections that shape your daughter's future—and your own.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

TRANSCRIPT

Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]: Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]: If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started, because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have a great opportunity to be able to work on those relationships that want to have with our daughters one day at a time. And it is a journey that you're on.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:05]: Every one of us is on a different journey as we are working to be able to be the fathers that we want to be, but also to make those meaningful connections with our daughters as they are getting older. And that's why this podcast exists every week. I love being able to have the opportunity to introduce you to new dads that you might. That you've never met before, that. That are going through this process themselves. Maybe they're succeeding, maybe they're failing. Maybe they're somewhere in between. No matter where they are and where you are, you showing up gives you the opportunity to learn, to grow, and to be able to continue to build those tools for your own toolbox that'll help you to be the best dad that you want to be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:51]: So today, I am really excited we have another great guest on the show. Rob Donovan is with us. And Rob's a father of two daughters, and they are age 5 and 4. I remember those days. It was a while back, but I do remember those days, and it was a fun time. And I am really excited to have him here today and for him to tell some of his story with you. Rob, thanks so much for joining us today.

Rob Donovan [00:02:17]: Great to be here, Dr. Lewis.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:18]: Well, it's my pleasure having you here today. And I guess, first and foremost, one of the things that I love being able to start with and talk about is each one of us are going through this journey as we're working to be that dad that we want to be. And part of that is to create those meaningful moments, moments that each of us wants to have with our daughters. What's one of the most meaningful moments that you've been able to share with each of your daughters and what made each of them so special.

Rob Donovan [00:02:44]: I'm gonna have to say since they're 5 and 4, their identities now are starting to come to fruition. I thought at first my firstborn daughter was gonna be all sports. She's more arts, she's more music and film. My second born is all sports. So it kind of flip flopped on that end. But what I love is that I can connect with them on two different levels. So obviously for my second born daughter, she loves to go outside. Roller hockey, soccer, anything outside, biking.

Rob Donovan [00:03:07]: And then my firstborn, you know, we love to listen to music. Obviously the kids show hunt tricks is a big one for her. And then going to movies, she loves movies. So I believe we just saw the new Mario movie and we're gonna go back again probably next week. So she just love recreate movie scenes and sometimes I'm the bad guy, sometimes I'm the animal. I don't know. But it's fun to create those moments with my daughters on a separate level. Sometimes they play with each other, but I can obviously tell now that they're kind of going off in their own separate ways a little bit here.

Rob Donovan [00:03:34]: And it's fun to connect on each level of them on those.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:36]: Now what the things I didn't mention was that you also work with the hockey team at the University of Michigan Flint. And so sports is really important to you. So with your youngest having that connection and having that interest in sports, I'm sure that there's sometimes an ability to be able to make that connection and be able to understand her a little bit more because of that. So talk to me about that connection to sports with your youngest daughter. What have you done to hone that and what have you done to work to hone your other abilities with your oldest daughter who has other interests than your own?

Rob Donovan [00:04:15]: So I think for my youngest daughter starting out is that she became a lot like me. More than I could have ever imagined. It's kind of like staring in the mirror. And now I know what my parents kind of saw when I was a kid. She's very competitive. We bond over the fact that I obviously love Michigan, I love hockey, I love all sports. But I think whenever she sees the, the block em or anything, she yells go blue. She loves watching hockey, especially Michigan hockey.

Rob Donovan [00:04:34]: And I think this year the football will be fun for her because I think she's gonna understand that a little bit more. But she kind of laug on anything. I kind of do So I mean, if I'm out playing hockey by myself rollerblading, she wants to do that. I think at this point right now we're just kind of working on it's okay to have fun, it's okay just to shoot. And if you miss the net or if you do something, it's not the end of the world. She's very competitive, so if she doesn't hit the net on a soccer goal or hockey goal, she gets a little upset. So we're kind of going through the motions of it's okay just to play and have fun. For my firstborn daughter, she does like to jump in a few times with the athletics, but she goes off on her own quests after a while and that's totally fine.

Rob Donovan [00:05:09]: I kind of noticed that. And I'll give Tilly. Tilly's my second born and Tegan is my firstborn. And I will give Tegan, you know, the same amount of just kind of play time. So after I'm done playing hockey and kind of getting Tilly on a roll, I'll go over to Teegan and we'll kind of have our little side quests. Whether we're playing Mario or some other make believe movie with sticks or going on an adventure with her outside is pretty much what she likes to do. So I just kind of got to switch switches there and kind of go from a coach to almost like a drama teacher in a way. So it's kind of fun.

Rob Donovan [00:05:38]: I never had that as a kid as being so playful. Like my firstborn, my parents were very athletic mindset and so it's kind of fun going back and having that experience with my firstborn.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:50]: Now. Earlier you talked about the fact that your daughters are starting to show some of that independence and wanting that independence for themselves. And part of the role of a father is to find that balance. Some of that balance comes down to how we guide our daughters while still giving them the independence that they need to grow into their own person. Talk to me about, how are you doing that?

Rob Donovan [00:06:11]: For me, it's just going to be kind of just releasing the grip a bit, lessening, lessening the rope on them. I'm very protective as a father, so if we're biking, I like to keep them close even though our neighborhood's really safe. So I kind of now I'm kind of, you know, watching them from a distance and they know better with cars and such like that. Kind of letting them figure out when they have arguments instead of stepping in right away and like putting the kibosh on it. As soon as they start arguing now, I kind of let them try to figure it out a bit. Normally they do, but sometimes, you know, I still got to step in and referee a bit. But yeah, it's just kind of stepping back a bit and kind of letting them learn how to live a bit. And it's.

Rob Donovan [00:06:43]: It's definitely a little bit difficult for me just because I'm so protective of them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:46]: And, you know, it's not always easy to be able to find ways to be able to work on those bonds, especially when times are challenging, because being a father is not always roses. There's going to be challenging times, and you have to figure out where you stand as a parent, as a father in those times. What would you say are some intentional ways that you've worked to strengthen your bonds with your daughters, especially during those challenging times?

Rob Donovan [00:07:12]: For me, one of my biggest difficulties as a dad is going to have to be maybe injuries. And that just goes back to. For me, my, my girls, they play extremely hard, and so there's going to be injuries. I mean, they're filled with bruises and cuts and stuff like that. But, you know, big injuries. Such as, like, I know one time one of them went over the handlebars. Handlebars once scraped up her face, things like that. And kind of takes me back is I was in the military about eight years ago.

Rob Donovan [00:07:35]: I came across during my time of service, some things with kids that made difficult. I always thought when having children, when they get to that age, around five to eight, I was going to have a little difficulties because I had past experiences with kids that are being injured. So for me, I know as they were growing up, whenever they got hurt or fell or anything like that, or started crying really hard, for me it was very difficult. It was very, I'd say in the new words, triggering, I guess, where I'd kind of a normal dad kneel down, you know, kiss the boo boo, and you know, stuff like that. For me, it was very difficult. It was almost like I had to step away. But now I've learned in the past few years, I've learned to slow things down and explain to them, okay, it's just a little cut or just a little bruise. We can get up things like that.

Rob Donovan [00:08:10]: And I think if I would have said that three years ago, for me, that would have been very difficult. So we're both growing together, my daughters and I, so I know there's more bumps and bruises to go on as they grow up, especially in sports. So I think for me, it's just going to be something I'm going to continue to grow and continue to get better at.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:25]: And as you said, we're not perfect individuals. There are mistakes that we make, flaws that we have. What would you say is a mistake that you've made as a father and what did you learn from it about fostering more positive communications with your daughters?

Rob Donovan [00:08:40]: I think my biggest mistake is going to have to be I'm just a very competitive, aggressive kind of person. Just comes with. I played hockey my whole life. I did the military. I'm. I'm a deputy now, sheriff deputy. And so I kind of live a life where I'm very go getter is I'm very aggressive in life. And so when the girls play and stuff, I.

Rob Donovan [00:08:57]: I kind of let it go like I said. But then on the flip side, I got to teach them, you know, to be kind, courteous, nice with strangers and other kids when they play. They can't be as rough as they are with their sisters. So I think that's just one thing I kind of needed to tone down start, which I didn't do. And now I'm kind of backtracking a bit, trying to teach them, you know, how to play a little nicer and how to include everybody and not immediately when you get mad at someone, you're not gonna, you know, just throw them down on the ground, something like that. So something I'm backtracking now on being a little nicer. I just being an older person, an adult, you've kind of already grown up not knowing that's, you know, not, not the right thing to do. But when you're a child, you can need your parents to kind of help you along those ropes.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:33]: And I can tell that you are in there, you're engaged. And for all of us that are engaged dads, there are things that we have to do to be validate our kids. So I guess what do you do to intentionally allow for your daughters to feel both valued and heard?

Rob Donovan [00:09:51]: For me, I just give them the time. I know I work overnight, so I work from 7pm to 7am so I could easily go to bed and wake up at 4 and go right to work, pretty much get have a meal and go to work. But I come home every day and I feed my dogs first of all because they're the first ones up and whining. I have two little mini dachshunds, so little wiener dogs so they need to go out and get fed. But as soon as I do that, the girls come running downstairs because they Know that as soon as I get home, I make a gourmet kind of, you know, breakfast for them. They have eggs, Belgian waffles, sausage, orange juice right before school. So it's kind of like a little system we have where almost now, if I don't come home, if I get delayed by something that morning, I feel bad because I know that that's something they look forward to, is me coming home and making them nice meals. And then on the flip side, I try to go to bed as soon as they go to school, I go to bed right away.

Rob Donovan [00:10:37]: And then I get up around, you know, 1:32. So now I have the whole back end of the afternoon when they get back from school and they have lunch, Dad's waking up and now they know dad's going to come out and play with, be involved. And so I may be tired, I may be 3 day work week of 12 hour shifts or something like that. But I always try to make time for them and try to, you know, play with them and give them a good meal. And I think they really appreciate that. It's kind of something they look forward to every week now.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:00]: And you talked about some of the interests that your daughters have, and I don't know if you, if you have an answer for this or not, but as your daughters have been getting older and starting to show you more of their, their passions, their dreams, their things, the things that they are most interested in and most wanting to do. How do you support your daughters in pursuing those passions and dreams?

Rob Donovan [00:11:23]: I believe that when you're young, you're figuring out what you like. A lot of times that's like, if you talk to people, you know, in their older years, they grow up, be like, oh, I used to love playing saxophone as a kid, or I used to, you know, I love singing as a child, but I kind of lost doing that because I had other things or other things are more important or, you know, I got older and I realized it was never going to happen, things like that. But like I said, my first daughter loves music. She loves singing, she loves anything to do with music, film, things like that. And so I encourage you. I got her a little, little microphone to sing into and a little karaoke set on. Play her favorite songs and just kind of encourage her. No matter, you know, no matter what she likes, sports, music, dance, anything.

Rob Donovan [00:12:00]: I'm going to be there supporting her all the way because I know that's going to be a passion of hers. I can just tell in their eyes that she loves it on the Flip side of my youngest daughter, I mean, she's just like me and she looks just like me. So sports, she gravitated right towards sports. I mean, I have a little knee hockey set I've had since sixth grade or so like for 30 years. And I brought it out and she, she loved it immediately. She loves kicking the soccer ball. Any do with movement. And for her, I always told my wife I had a son it'd be a little more difficult because like I said before, I, I push really hard.

Rob Donovan [00:12:27]: So having a daughter was kind of a godsend for me because it allows me to step back and kind of be a little softer as a parent, I believe. So with her being sports wise, I can work on, you know, being more passionate instead of, you know, let's get out there and run drills. When they get it like 6 or when I get 8 years old to like 15, I'm gonna say, hey, let's go play out in the field together. Instead of, let's hit the, let's hit the sprints and stuff like that. If I had a boy. So I think just being with both of them and being, and what they like to do and having as their dad and a friend enjoying what they do, instead of just saying, hey, go out and do this and I'm going to sit back and watch or I'm going to go inside and do my own thing. I'm going to actively, as I get older, I'm going to still be along as long as they let me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:06]: And what's one way that you show your daughter that she can always count on you?

Rob Donovan [00:13:10]: That's going to be through honestly just being active in what they're doing. So I said the music wise, you just got to be there for them. You got to be right next to them, you got to be engaged with them. And so if they have any questions or they want you to be along, sing along with them or show them the ropes. They're not gonna be afraid to ask you because you're always there helping out for their age. If they get frustrated, I know about a year ago, if I said this a year ago, they'd sit there and cry, maybe they'd get frustrated, they throw down their toy, they throw down whatever they're doing and kind of run into the house. But now there's like, dad, can you help me? Dad, can you come play with me? Dad this and dad that. And I love that.

Rob Donovan [00:13:43]: I love being included with it. And now I feel like they trust me enough to, if they need help, they can just Ask instead of just running away.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:49]: It's so important to be able to stay open, allowing for our daughters to really dictate where the conversation's going. And that's not always something that is at the forefront of our brain in the sense of what we would do right away. So I appreciate that you shared that. Now all of us have those routines, and you talked about the breakfast routine and traditions that are meaningful to our families. You mentioned the breakfast one, but I'm going to ask and see if there's any other ones. What's another tradition or routine that you've created together with your daughters that really strengthens your bonds?

Rob Donovan [00:14:24]: I think one of them would be obviously the breakfast one. But for me, I love. For my second daughter and sometimes my first, I love watching anything Michigan so that they. Hockey, football, anything like that. As soon as I turn it on the past two years, they know. So they. They hear the fight song, Hail to the Victors and stuff, and they go. They come in, they yell, go blue.

Rob Donovan [00:14:41]: And they sit down for a bit. At least my second daughter still sit for almost the whole game and watch and they cheer whenever anyone scores a touchdown. For my firstborn daughter, I used to play guitar. So when she gets feels a little artsy or she wants her favorite song, she'll come up to me and she'll ask me, can you play this or can you? I've done it a couple times with Moana and stuff like that, where I found out the chords and I'd play. But now it's like whenever she finds a new song, she's like, dad, can you play this? Can you figure out how to play this? So it's kind of a tradition with her now is now that whenever she finds a new song or something, we go try to play it. And we have a drum set too, so she loves playing that. It's like one of those electric ones. So we'll put a return on her favorite song and she'll so drum to it, in a way.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:15]: Is your backup singer. She can become your backup singer and backup drummer.

Rob Donovan [00:15:19]: Exactly. Like I said, I go from coach to music teacher each day. Flip flop.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:23]: Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our dad Connection 6, which asks you six more questions to delve deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready?

Rob Donovan [00:15:30]: Sure.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:30]: Go for it. What's one word that describes the relationship that you have with your daughters?

Rob Donovan [00:15:37]: I'd say devoted.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:38]: What's the best piece of dad advice that you've ever received?

Rob Donovan [00:15:43]: Be goofy. As much for my dad, always make your kids laugh. You have to be tough with them. But at the same time, you know, they're. They're looking for. They're looking for a laugh, they're looking for a good time. They're. Kids can't always just be so strict.

Rob Donovan [00:15:52]: Even though you want them to listen to you got to spend the time to make them laugh. So got to be goofy. But you gotta teach them to laugh at yourself.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:59]: Now, you've already answered this question in a few different ways, but if there's a different one, you can, you can answer this. What's one activity that you and. And each of your daughters love doing together?

Rob Donovan [00:16:10]: My second daughter loves to eat. So I cook a ton of things. I like to cook and she eats anything. And it's amazing. Like, I would never have eaten that as a kid. And she just, she just pounds it down like it just extravagant food. So she has, she's not picky. And so whenever I'm cooking food or whatever, she always wants to try a bite.

Rob Donovan [00:16:27]: So that's awesome. With her firstborn daughter, yes, I've already tapped on the artsy part and stuff like that, but trying to think of one other thing that she. The music, art, stuff like that. Drawing. I'd say she loves to draw, so I'll join her in drawing. And I'm not the greatest artist, so she laughs at if I draw. Tell them to draw the dogs or something. She wants me to draw the dog as well.

Rob Donovan [00:16:47]: Or chalk outside and I'll make a picture and she'll be laughing. That's not a dog or something like that. So I think that's two things that we'd like to do together.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:54]: If you can give your daughters one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Rob Donovan [00:16:59]: For me, I would say just go for it. Honestly, just that. Just go for it. Just because you never know. You never know what's going to happen. If you have a passion and you truly believe it, just go for it. For me, I've done a lot in my life, a million different careers, and so I think I set a good example for my daughters, especially when they get older and they ask, well, what have you done in your life? I can say, you know, I just went for it. And I hope you do too, because there's so many experiences you can go on with your life.

Rob Donovan [00:17:23]: After high school, I played junior hockey, pro hockey in Canada for a while. I played college hockey and then took a break from hockey. Actually, where I got music from is my wife now was my girlfriend in College, and we went to Nashville and we did music for two years out there. And once I was done with that, and I was good with that, I went to the military. Once I was on the military, I did police work. And now I'm on to hockey again. I'm onto my passion again. So just a million different avenues.

Rob Donovan [00:17:46]: And I hope they find excitement in life like I did and they don't get stuck on one thing and have to feel like they only have one thing in life that they could do.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:54]: And what's one thing that you've learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

Rob Donovan [00:17:59]: For me, especially with two girls, I've learned a lot. Like I said before, I was really nervous being a dad just because I felt like. Like if I had boys or I didn't even know if I had girls, if I had girls, I'd be expecting too much. You always come into being a dad, think, or at least for me, I can't wait to see what they're gonna do. I can't wait to see what their passions are. And, you know, I'm gonna push them to be good at something. You kind of want to, like, not live your life through them, but at least try to give them as much passion, as much as much direction as you possibly can. But I've learned now that you just kind of gotta let them go and have fun for right now, and all the chips will fall where they may.

Rob Donovan [00:18:33]: This is time where you just enjoy your life, enjoy the times that you have with your daughters and your. And things will fall where they are. They always do. Just be there to support them and be a good, devoted father.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:43]: And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Rob Donovan [00:18:50]: I would say no matter what their passion is to try to get involved, you don't have to extremely love what they're doing. Just get involved. And you never know, you might enjoy it as well. They're looking for someone to enjoy their passion with. And being a dad and being there with them, being supportive. That's all my girls ever ask for, is just me being around and being present. So I think just dive right in. No matter what it is, you never know, you might enjoy it with them.

Rob Donovan [00:19:14]: Might be a lasting hobby for you guys. So to try it out.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:17]: Great advice, and I really appreciate you sharing that and sharing the journey that you've been on with your own daughters. And it's still a journey. You're going to continue to go through many of the different phases of life. As they continue to get older. But I want to say thank you. Thank you for your time, and I truly wish you all the best.

Rob Donovan [00:19:34]: Thank you so much. Appreciate it.

Christopher Lewis [00:19:35]: That's a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn't about being perfect. It's about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don't forget, you can find all our [email protected] until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Performer [00:20:06]: We're all in the same boat

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:12]: and

Musical Performer [00:20:13]: it's full of tiny screaming passengers? We spend the time, we give the lessons, we make the meals we buy them presents and bring your A game? Cause those kids are growing fast the time goes by just like a dynamite blast? Calling astronauts and firemen Carpenters and muscle men? Get out and be the world to them? Be the best dad you can be? Be the best dad you can be.