"So the piece that I most resonate with the Dialectical Behavior Therapy is it's one of the therapies that really understands this core feeling of feeling overwhelmed and like you don't want to be alive." - Sharon Stein McNamara

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Sharon Stein McNamara, a licensed psychologist and adoption-competent therapist. Sharon, an adoptee herself, shared her personal journey and the profound impact of adoption on her life, particularly during her adolescent years when she faced suicidal thoughts after a breakup.

We delved into the complexities of adoption and how they can lead to feelings of self-loathing and overwhelming distress, especially among adoptees. Sharon introduced us to Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a therapeutic approach that has been particularly effective for adopted adolescents and young adults. She explained how DBT incorporates mindfulness and distress tolerance skills, which are crucial for individuals who may feel their emotions are too intense to manage.

Throughout our conversation, Sharon emphasized the importance of recognizing and validating these feelings rather than dismissing them. She shared her own experiences with DBT and how it helped her and her clients navigate the challenges of attachment and self-worth. We discussed the significance of shifting core beliefs about oneself, especially for adoptees who may struggle with feelings of being unwanted or unworthy.

Sharon's insights provided hope and practical tools for families and individuals impacted by adoption. She encouraged listeners to never give up hope on adoptees, as the right support and understanding can lead to healing and growth.

I hope this episode resonates with anyone who has been touched by adoption or is seeking effective therapeutic tools to support themselves or their loved ones. Thank you for joining us, and please share this episode with anyone who might benefit from Sharon's expertise.

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RESOURCES:

Sharon’s information:

• Look up Sharon’s website: Sharonsteinmcnamara.com

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

• Here’s the book Sharon referenced: How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When--and Why--Love Doesn't Work : https://www.amazon.com/Break-Your-Addiction-Person-When/dp/0553382497

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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

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TIME STAMPS

00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:01:30 - Guest Introduction: Sharon Stein McNamara 00:02:00 - Sharon's Adoption Story 00:03:40 - Understanding DBT and Its Relevance 00:04:50 - The Importance of Distress Tolerance 00:06:30 - DBT vs. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 00:08:30 - Grounding Techniques in DBT 00:10:00 - Building Trust with Clients 00:10:30 - Working with Adoptees in Therapy 00:11:00 - Self-Loathing and Adoptee Experiences 00:12:30 - Personal Story: Overcoming Breakup Trauma 00:15:00 - The Impact of Attachment on Relationships 00:17:00 - DBT Skills for Managing Cravings 00:19:00 - The Role of Core Beliefs in Healing 00:21:00 - Finding a DBT-Trained Therapist 00:23:00 - Outcomes of DBT for Adoptees 00:25:00 - Final Thoughts and Resources 00:26:00 - Conclusion and Call to Action