"So the piece that I most resonate with the Dialectical Behavior Therapy is it's one of the therapies that really understands this core feeling of feeling overwhelmed and like you don't want to be alive." - Sharon Stein McNamara

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Sharon Stein McNamara, a licensed psychologist and adoption-competent therapist. Sharon, an adoptee herself, shared her personal journey and the profound impact of adoption on her life, particularly during her adolescent years when she faced suicidal thoughts after a breakup.

We delved into the complexities of adoption and how they can lead to feelings of self-loathing and overwhelming distress, especially among adoptees. Sharon introduced us to Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a therapeutic approach that has been particularly effective for adopted adolescents and young adults. She explained how DBT incorporates mindfulness and distress tolerance skills, which are crucial for individuals who may feel their emotions are too intense to manage.

Throughout our conversation, Sharon emphasized the importance of recognizing and validating these feelings rather than dismissing them. She shared her own experiences with DBT and how it helped her and her clients navigate the challenges of attachment and self-worth. We discussed the significance of shifting core beliefs about oneself, especially for adoptees who may struggle with feelings of being unwanted or unworthy.

Sharon's insights provided hope and practical tools for families and individuals impacted by adoption. She encouraged listeners to never give up hope on adoptees, as the right support and understanding can lead to healing and growth.

I hope this episode resonates with anyone who has been touched by adoption or is seeking effective therapeutic tools to support themselves or their loved ones. Thank you for joining us, and please share this episode with anyone who might benefit from Sharon's expertise.

===============

📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL

📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar

✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing

💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

RESOURCES:

Sharon's information:

• Look up Sharon's website: Sharonsteinmcnamara.com

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

• Here's the book Sharon referenced: How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When--and Why--Love Doesn't Work : https://www.amazon.com/Break-Your-Addiction-Person-When/dp/0553382497

===============

Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube

Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com

Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION

===============

Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!

===============

TIME STAMPS

00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:01:30 - Guest Introduction: Sharon Stein McNamara 00:02:00 - Sharon's Adoption Story 00:03:40 - Understanding DBT and Its Relevance 00:04:50 - The Importance of Distress Tolerance 00:06:30 - DBT vs. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 00:08:30 - Grounding Techniques in DBT 00:10:00 - Building Trust with Clients 00:10:30 - Working with Adoptees in Therapy 00:11:00 - Self-Loathing and Adoptee Experiences 00:12:30 - Personal Story: Overcoming Breakup Trauma 00:15:00 - The Impact of Attachment on Relationships 00:17:00 - DBT Skills for Managing Cravings 00:19:00 - The Role of Core Beliefs in Healing 00:21:00 - Finding a DBT-Trained Therapist 00:23:00 - Outcomes of DBT for Adoptees 00:25:00 - Final Thoughts and Resources 00:26:00 - Conclusion and Call to Action

"I was one of these slight skeptics; I was like, well I've been breathing all my life, what can breathwork do for me?" -- Kellan Bacon

Hear the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JKBNQJYFFZT18Z0XSMHHTH37

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kellan Bacon, a gender-expansive, transracial adoptee from China, who was adopted as an infant in 1998 and now resides in Cardiff, Wales. Kellan has recently launched a professional practice called Kai Ming Holistics, where they utilize breathwork and other embodied modalities to support others on their healing journeys.

Kellan shared their personal adoption story, highlighting the complexities and challenges they faced growing up in a transracial family. They discussed the common narrative of being "saved" through adoption and how they eventually came to realize the profound impact of adoption trauma on their life. This awakening occurred during a mental health crisis around the age of 20, leading Kellan to explore their identity and the interconnectedness of their experiences as an adoptee and a queer individual.

We delved into the transformative power of breathwork, a healing modality that Kellan discovered during the COVID-19 pandemic. They explained how breathwork can help individuals access and process trauma stored in the body, particularly for adoptees who may have pre-verbal or pre-cognitive trauma. Kellan emphasized the importance of having a trained guide during breathwork sessions to ensure safety and support.

===============

📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL

📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar

✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing

💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

RESOURCES:

Kellan's information:

• Kellan's Substack: https://kellanbacon.substack.com/

• Find Kellan on Instagram both ways at: https://www.instagram.com/kaimingholistics/ AND/OR https://www.instagram.com/kellanbacon/

• Find Kellan on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/kellan.x.bacon

===============

Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube

Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com

Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION

===============

Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!

===============

TIME STAMPS

00:00:00 - Welcome and Introduction Introduction to the podcast and the host, Beth Syverson, along with her son Joey's journey.

00:01:05 - Meet Kellen Bacon Introduction of guest Kellen Bacon, a transracial adoptee and breathwork practitioner.

00:01:48 - Kellen's Adoption Story Kellen shares their adoption experience and the realization of adoption's impact.

00:03:15 - Coming Out of the Fog Discussion on the awakening to adoption trauma and its effects on mental health.

00:04:30 - Transracial Adoption Experience Kellen discusses growing up as a transracial adoptee and the challenges faced.

00:06:04 - Exploring Gender Identity Kellen talks about their journey of coming to terms with their gender identity.

00:07:01 - The Intersection of Identities Discussion on how various aspects of identity intertwine and impact personal growth.

00:08:34 - COVID and Breathwork Kellen shares how COVID led them to discover breathwork as a healing modality.

00:10:01 - Understanding Breathwork Explanation of breathwork and its unique approach to healing trauma.

00:11:08 - Demonstration of Breathwork Kellen provides a brief demonstration of breathwork techniques.

00:12:24 - Safety in Breathwork Discussion on the importance of having a guide during breathwork sessions.

00:15:09 - Breathwork for Adoptees Exploration of how breathwork can specifically benefit adoptees dealing with trauma.

00:16:39 - Trauma in the Body Kellen explains how trauma is stored in the body and the importance of somatic healing.

00:19:30 - Kellen's Offerings Information on Kellen's practice, including support groups for trans-adoptees.

00:20:20 - Root Cause Healing Introduction to root cause therapy and its significance in addressing limiting beliefs.

00:22:26 - Kellen's Journey and Age Discussion on Kellen's age and their deep work in healing and therapy.

00:23:30 - Closing Thoughts Final remarks on the importance of breathwork and resources for adoptees.

"I think she had a deep ambivalence about me, knowing me, having a relationship with me from the very beginning." -- Susan Kiyo Ito

Read the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JJYRPQ0EJEGKW4GNXFMCA8CV

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Susan Kiyo Ito, a writing professor and author of the memoir I Would Meet You Anywhere. Susan's book, a culmination of 30 years of work, explores her journey as a biracial adoptee—half Japanese and half white—who was adopted at three and a half months old by Japanese American parents.

We delved into Susan's origin story, her relationship with her adoptive parents, and her deep desire to connect with her birth mother, Yumi. Susan described Yumi as a charismatic yet ambivalent figure, reflecting on the complexities of their relationship and the cultural stigma surrounding adoption in Japanese society.

Throughout our conversation, we discussed the emotional weight of adoption, the challenges of identity, and the universal longing for connection that many adoptees experience. Susan shared how writing her memoir was a healing process, allowing her to articulate her experiences and put down the burdens she had carried for so long.

We also touched on the misconceptions surrounding adoption, particularly the notion of "luck," and how important it is for adoptive parents to support their children in their search for identity and connection without imposing their own feelings onto them.

As we wrapped up, Susan encouraged listeners to embrace their stories and consider the power of sharing their experiences. Her insights and reflections provide a valuable perspective on the complexities of adoption, making this episode a must-listen for anyone impacted by adoption or interested in understanding its nuances.

===============

📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL

📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar

✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing

💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

RESOURCES:

Susan's information:

• Explore Susan's website and purchase her memoir: https://www.thesusanito.com/

• Find her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susan.ito

• Find her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesusanito/

===============

Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube

Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com

Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION

===============

Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!

===============

TIME STAMPS:

00:00:12 - Meet the Host and Guest 00:00:44 - Susan Kiyo Ito's Memoir Journey 00:01:27 - Personal Connections and Background 00:02:38 - Susan's Adoption Story 00:04:37 - Cultural Heritage and Upbringing 00:05:37 - Describing Yumi: The Birth Mother 00:06:48 - Cultural Stigma and Secrets 00:07:02 - The Significance of the Title 00:09:46 - Personal Growth and Boundaries 00:10:44 - Emotional Release After Publishing 00:11:28 - The Weight of Connection 00:12:45 - The Complexity of Relationships 00:14:25 - Validation from Other Adoptees 00:15:10 - Sensory Details in Writing 00:16:37 - The Role of Journaling 00:18:19 - Exploring Alternative Life Paths 00:20:54 - Reflections on Luck in Adoption 00:22:54 - Advice for Adoptive Parents 00:25:45 - Support and Understanding 00:26:29 - The Sound of Names 00:27:28 - Connecting with the Author 00:29:33 - Closing Thoughts and Future Works

"The most healing thing for me now has been the support of other adoptees." -- Dave Sanchez-Brown

Read the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JJD8EF1R7VJ6J0V5GXRWXJY4

===============

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Dave Sanchez-Brown, an adoptee who has bravely navigated the complexities of adoption, mental health struggles, and addiction.

Dave shared his adoption story, which took a significant turn after he read Dani Shapiro's memoir Inheritance. Inspired, he decided to take a DNA test, leading him to uncover his biological family and the trauma associated with his past. He discussed the overwhelming emotions that surfaced as he connected with his roots, including the discovery of a family history marked by addiction.

Throughout our conversation, Dave highlighted the importance of community and peer support in his recovery journey. He emphasized that finding others who share similar experiences has been more therapeutic than traditional therapy. We also touched on the stigma surrounding addiction and mental health, and how society often lacks empathy for those struggling.

As we wrapped up, Dave offered valuable advice for adoptive parents, urging them to be aware of their children's emotional needs and the potential for feelings of alienation. He encouraged parents to seek their own healing to better support their kids.

This episode is a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the importance of connection in healing. I hope Dave's story inspires listeners to seek support and understanding, whether they are adoptees, adoptive parents, or anyone affected by mental health challenges. Thank you for joining us, and remember to stay safe and connected.

===============

📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL

📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar

✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing

💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

RESOURCES:

Dave's information:

• Follow Dave as The Rebellious Adoptee on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/therebelliousadoptee

• And find him as The Rebellious Adoptee on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therebelliousadoptee/

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

• Dani Shapiro's memoir Inheritance: https://www.amazon.com/Inheritance-Memoir-Genealogy-Paternity-Love/dp/0525434038

• DNA Detectives Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DNADetectives/

• Search Angels: https://www.searchangels.org

===============

Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube

Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com

Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION

===============

Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!

===============

TIME STAMPS

00:00:00 - Introduction to Adoption Healing Quest 00:02:00 - Introducing Dave Sanchez-Brown 00:02:21 - Dave's Adoption Story Begins 00:03:36 - The Impact of DNA Testing 00:04:21 - Finding Biological Family 00:05:59 - Discovering Family History and Addiction 00:07:28 - Understanding Genetic Influences 00:08:09 - Adoptive Family Dynamics 00:09:00 - Childhood Trauma and Coping Mechanisms 00:10:54 - First Suicide Attempt and Hospitalization 00:12:22 - Parental Reactions to Suicidal Behavior 00:13:27 - Surviving Through Activities and Friendships 00:14:50 - Moving to San Francisco and Coming Out 00:16:09 - The AIDS Crisis and Its Impact 00:18:25 - Struggles with Addiction Post-Partner's Death 00:20:01 - Creating a Fictitious Family 00:21:11 - Revisiting Addiction and Recovery 00:22:35 - Turning Point: Moving to New York 00:23:29 - Support from Other Adoptees 00:24:10 - Coming Out of the Adoption Fog 00:25:03 - Intergenerational Trauma and Its Effects 00:26:43 - Reclaiming Identity as the Rebellious Adoptee 00:27:20 - Navigating the Complexities of Adoption 00:29:20 - Advice for Adoptive Parents 00:32:05 - The Importance of Empathy and Support 00:33:35 - Connecting with the Community 00:34:42 - Final Thoughts, Encouragement, and Resources

"It's a deep rooted fear of every adoptive parent that the parent will get rejected." - Dr. Asra Ali

Read the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JHS4S4K9DW0G3AZRZKWG970A

===============

Join Unraveling Adoption's in-person Adoption Healing Quest in Seal Beach, CA on February 8, 2025. More info and registration here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/adoption-healing-quest-an-interactive-event-for-the-adoption-community-tickets-1095804814699?aff=oddtdtcreator

===============

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Asra Ali, an adoptee from India whose adoption was facilitated by Mother Teresa. Dr. Asra shared her unique adoption story, highlighting the positive experiences she had growing up in a loving family that embraced her identity as an adopted child from a young age.

We delved into the cultural narratives surrounding adoption in India, discussing the historical preference for male children and the significant shifts that have occurred over the years. Dr. Asra explained how adoption practices have evolved, moving from informal arrangements to more structured legal processes to combat issues like human trafficking.

As a psychologist and child and family therapist, Dr. Asra works with adoptive families in India, helping them navigate the complexities of adoption. She emphasized the importance of honesty and emotional support for adopted children, noting that many adoptive parents struggle with insecurity and often keep the child's adoption a secret. This can lead to emotional disconnects and challenges for the child.

Throughout our conversation, Dr. Asra provided valuable insights into the common mistakes adoptive parents make and the need for open communication about adoption. She also shared her mixed feelings about her own adoption, reflecting on the unanswered questions regarding her biological family.

Listeners will find this episode enlightening as we explore the intricacies of adoption in India and the universal themes that resonate with adoptive families worldwide. Dr. Asra's work is a testament to the importance of understanding and supporting adopted children, and I encourage anyone interested in this topic to reach out to her for guidance.

===============

📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL

📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar

✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing

💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

RESOURCES:

Dr. Asra's information:

• Find Dr. Asra on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.asraali25/

• Call Dr. Asra on Mobile/Whatsapp: 9742163606 (India)

• Email Dr. Asra: [email protected]

People throughout the world can reach out to Dr. Asra for various counselling therapy sessions

• Depression

• Adoption

• Emotional distress

• Low self esteem

• Public speaking issues/ Social issues

• Parenting and its types

• How to handle teenages

• Impact of Covid on my child's mental health, emotional, social and cognitive decline

• Grief counselling

• Loss of a dear one OR pet counselling

• Early childhood years challenges

• Handling children with emotional distress

• Importance of nutrition

• Mind and body healing

• Astro travel journey

• Healing the child in you

• Impact of food on my body

• Positive attitude towards self and other

• Working on negative emotions and energy

• Communication and its importance for my healing

Price for 1-hour session:

US$: 80 dollars

Canada: 90 USD/CAD

UAE: 1000 AED

India: 2000 inr

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

• The other Indian adoptee guest on our podcast: "Pride and Resilience: A Transgender Adoptee's Path" with Sanjay Pulver: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/31826567

===============

Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube

Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com

Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION

===============

Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!

===============

TIME STAMPS:

00:00:00 - Introduction

00:01:00 - Meet Dr. Asra AliIntroduction of Dr. Asra Ali, an adoptee from India, and her unique adoption story facilitated by Mother Teresa.

00:03:00 - Cultural Perspectives on Adoption in India Discussion on the cultural status of adoption in India, including gender preferences and historical practices.

00:06:00 - Domestic vs. International Adoption Insights into the prevalence of domestic adoption in India compared to international adoption and the challenges involved.

00:10:00 - Common Mistakes by Adoptive Parents Dr. Asra discusses the importance of honesty and the emotional disconnect often seen in adoptive families.

00:15:00 - Reflections on Identity and Biological Roots Exploration of Dr. Asra's feelings about her adoption, her desire to learn about her biological parents, and the concept of twinship among adoptees.

00:20:00 - Advice for Adoptive Parents Dr. Asra offers guidance on how adoptive parents can better support their children and the importance of personal growth.

00:24:00 - Closing Remarks and Resources Beth shares information about upcoming events related to adoption healing and how to connect with Dr. Asra.

"I was able to kind of reinvent myself into who I probably would have been at some level had I not been adopted." -- Brad Ewell

Read the transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JGAR0QVDBKHQG88R7JAJ292Z

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the honor of speaking with Brad Ewell, a late discovery adoptee (LDA) who learned about his adoption at the age of 48. Brad shared his shocking journey of self-discovery after taking an ancestry DNA test, which revealed a truth that had been hidden from him for nearly five decades.

He discussed the confusion and betrayal he felt upon learning that everyone around him had known he was adopted, while he had no idea. Brad reflected on his upbringing, his struggles with identity, and how he tried to fit into a life that never felt quite right.

Our conversation also explored Brad's reconnection with his biological family, including his birth father, who had been incarcerated for decades. This relationship has provided him with unexpected closure and understanding.

Brad emphasized the importance of community and therapy for those navigating similar experiences, highlighting the need for openness in adoption. His story serves as a powerful reminder of the significance of truth and the healing that can come from embracing one's identity.

===============

Join our in-person Adoption Healing Quest in Seal Beach, CA on February 8, 2025. More info and registration here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/adoption-healing-quest-an-interactive-event-for-the-adoption-community-tickets-1095804814699?aff=oddtdtcreator

RESOURCES:

Brad's information:

• Here are all of Brad's blog posts and links: https://linktr.ee/LDA_BRAD?utm_source=linktree_profile_share

• Right to Know organization: https://righttoknow.us/
• Find Brad's adoption account on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/a_late_discovery/

• Find Brad's art on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cut_and_shoot_art?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA%3D%3D

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

• Fred Nicora's another LDA that Brad mentions. He was an Unraveling Adoption episode guest too: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/26549451

===============

📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL

📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar

✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing

💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube

Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com

Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION

===============

TIME STAMPS:

00:00:44 - The Importance of Truth in Adoption Discussion on the necessity of telling adoptees their truth from a young age.

00:01:05 - Meet Brad Ewell: A Late Discovery Adoptee Introduction of guest Brad Ewell and his experience as a late discovery adoptee.

00:01:46 - Did You Have an Inkling? Brad shares his experience of not having any idea he was adopted.

00:04:50 - The Ancestry DNA Test Revelation Brad recounts how he discovered he was adopted through an ancestry DNA test.

00:10:29 - The Moment of Truth Brad describes the emotional moment he learned he was adopted.

00:12:02 - Connecting with His Birth Father Brad shares the process of finding and communicating with his birth father.

00:17:09 - Building a Relationship Brad discusses the development of his relationship with his birth father.

00:20:33 - Reconstructing Identity Brad reflects on how he has been able to reinvent himself post-discovery.

00:24:44 - Advice for Adoptive Parents Brad offers insights for adoptive parents on the importance of honesty with their children.

00:27:53 - Navigating Loss and Grief Brad discusses the passing of his adoptive parents and its impact on his journey.

00:30:15 - Community Support in Adoption The importance of finding community and support among those with similar experiences.

"I truly felt the weight of the world telling the story. I felt like it was a great responsibility, but I had to do it." -- Kristal Parke

Read the Transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JG7AR0SN4Y6M7WW6E7WEK0AT

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kristal Parke, a talented filmmaker and adoptee, about her acclaimed documentary, Because She's Adopted. As we kick off 2025, we are excited to offer a replay of our conversation, which dives deep into the complexities of adoption and the personal journey Kristal undertook while creating her film.

Kristal shares her experiences growing up as a Canadian adoptee, her reunion with her birth mother, and her struggles with addiction and identity. We discuss the unique aspects of her story, including the impact of her Indigenous heritage and the challenges she faced in reconnecting with that part of herself. Kristal's film has resonated with many, winning awards and touching the hearts of viewers, including her own family and film crew.

Throughout our conversation, we explore the emotional weight of telling one's story and the healing that comes from vulnerability. Kristal's journey not only highlights the importance of understanding adoption from multiple perspectives but also emphasizes the ongoing impact it has on families and future generations.

Join us for a screening of Because She's Adopted on January 11th, 2025, where you can engage with Kristal and ask questions about her powerful work. This episode is a heartfelt reminder of the complexities of adoption and the importance of sharing our stories. Thank you for listening, and I hope you enjoy this insightful conversation with Kristal Parke.

Join Kristal for an online screening of Because She's Adopted on January 11, 2025, at 4pm PST / 7pm EST, including a Q&A with Kristal afterwards. More information and tickets are here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/online-screening-of-kristal-parkes-documentary-because-shes-adopted-wqa-tickets-1097838266809?aff=oddtdtcreator

===============

📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL

📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar

✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing

💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

RESOURCES:

Kristal's information:

• Check our Kristal's film's website to keep informed of future events: KristalParke.net

• Follow the film at Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551013663413

• Or on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/becauseshesadopted/

• Email Kristal at [email protected]

• Watch a trailer of the film Because She's Adopted: https://youtu.be/uCnQPDnxgA0?si=VY6e4ZvgfbyTHzXF

===============

Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube

Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com

Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION

===============

Timestamps:

• 00:00:00 - Welcome to Unraveling Adoption Introduction to the podcast and host Beth Syverson.

• 00:01:15 - Introducing Krystal Parke Overview of Krystal Park and her film "Because She's Adopted."

• 00:02:24 - The Impact of the Film Krystal shares her hopes for the film and its emotional impact.

• 00:04:33 - Support from Adoptive Parents Discussion on her adoptive parents' reactions to the film.

• 00:05:06 - Reunion with Birth Family Krystal talks about her reunion with her birth mother.

• 00:06:58 - Exploring Identity and Gender The complexities of identity and gender expectations in adoption.

• 00:08:19 - Indigenous Heritage Krystal discusses her Indigenous roots and reconnection challenges.

• 00:10:29 - Journey to Manitoba Details about her significant trip to Manitoba.

• 00:11:26 - Understanding Residential Schools Explanation of the impact of residential schools on Indigenous peoples.

• 00:13:09 - The Sixties Scoop Discussion on the Sixties Scoop and its effects on her birth mother.

• 00:14:58 - Reunion Reflections Reflections on the emotional complexities of her reunion.

• 00:16:09 - Family Support in Filmmaking Importance of family support during the filmmaking process.

• 00:18:44 - Brothers' Perspectives Insights from her brothers about adoption and family dynamics.

• 00:19:51 - The Role of Humor in the Film How humor was used to balance the film's heavy themes.

• 00:20:45 - Children's Reactions Her children's understanding and support for the film.

• 00:21:51 - Cultural Connections Significance of cultural identity for her children.

• 00:23:44 - Filming Experience Memorable moments and dynamics of the filming process.

• 00:26:02 - Personal Growth Through Filmmaking Krystal reflects on her growth and understanding of her story.

• 00:27:43 - Future Aspirations Discussion on potential future projects and self-discovery.

• 00:29:34 - Closing Remarks Beth wraps up the episode and encourages listener engagement.

"We followed her lead. And so there was a lot of laughter and there was a lot of beauty." -- Jessica Fein

Read the episode transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JG2GNT8VS6BJTW0VGKSK3 PVA

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Jessica Fein, an adoptive mother and author of the memoir Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes. Jessica shares her family's deeply moving and complex journey through adoption and the heartbreaking experience of losing her middle child, Dalia, to a rare genetic disorder.

We began by discussing Jessica's family's path to adoption, which was initially rooted in a long struggle with infertility. After years of trying to conceive, Jessica and her husband decided to pursue adoption, ultimately leading them to adopt three children from Guatemala. Jessica eloquently describes the joy and chaos of raising her children, but also the challenges they faced when they began to notice developmental issues with Dalia.

As Dalia's health declined due to a rare mitochondrial disease, Jessica opened up about the emotional and practical challenges of caring for a child with a degenerative condition. She shared the struggles of navigating the medical system, the frustration of being more knowledgeable about Dalia's condition than some healthcare providers, and the profound love that persisted throughout their journey.

Throughout our conversation, Jessica emphasized the importance of finding joy amidst the sorrow and the lessons she learned about control and certainty in parenting. She highlighted that while we cannot control the outcomes of our children's lives, we can choose how we respond to the challenges we face.

Jessica's story is a testament to resilience, love, and the complexities of adoption. I encourage listeners to check out her memoir, Breath Taking, and her podcast, I Don't Know How You Do It, where she continues to share stories of families navigating unimaginable circumstances. Thank you for joining us in this heartfelt discussion, and I hope it resonates with anyone touched by adoption or facing similar challenges.

===============

📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL

📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar

✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing

💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

RESOURCES:

Jessica's information:

• Browse Jessica's website, including her book, podcast, and essays: https://www.jessicafeinstories.com/

• Find Jessica on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/feinjessica/

• I Don't Know How You Do It podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-dont-know-how-you-do-it/id1668168226

===============

Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube

Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com

Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION

===============

Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!

===============

TIME STAMPS:

00:00:00 - Introduction Welcome to Unraveling Adoption with host Beth Syverson and guest Jessica Fein.

00:01:03 - Acknowledging Loss Beth expresses condolences for Dalia's death and the complexities of Jessica's story.

00:01:55 - Adoption Journey Begins Jessica shares her family's journey through infertility and the decision to adopt.

00:05:53 - Choosing International Adoption Discussion on selecting Guatemala for international adoption.

00:08:41 - Bringing Home Their First Child The experience of bringing their first child home after a long wait.

00:09:41 - Expanding the Family The couple's journey to adopt three children and their early family life.

00:10:52 - Concerns About Dalia's Development Early concerns about Dalia's development and responses from early intervention.

00:12:06 - Hearing Loss Diagnosis Dalia is diagnosed with hearing loss, raising further health questions.

00:13:08 - Rare Genetic Disorder Jessica explains Dalia's rare mitochondrial disease diagnosis and its uncertainties.

00:14:08 - Navigating Medical Challenges The family's experience with medical professionals and understanding Dalia's condition.

00:16:41 - Dalia's Hospitalization The escalation of Dalia's condition leading to a lengthy hospital stay.

00:18:30 - Life with a Tracheostomy Impact of Dalia's tracheostomy on her communication and eating.

00:19:13 - Communication Challenges How Dalia communicated with her family after her condition worsened.

00:20:34 - Importance of Connection Maintaining connection and communication with Dalia despite limitations.

00:21:02 - Finding Joy Amidst Struggles Balancing joy and sorrow in family life during challenging times.

00:22:06 - Self-Care Strategies Practical self-care strategies for caregivers.

00:23:33 - Dalia's School Experience Dalia's participation in school despite her condition.

00:25:14 - Understanding Awareness Exploring Dalia's awareness of her condition and family efforts.

00:26:32 - Lessons on Control Jessica reflects on lessons learned about control and certainty.

00:28:22 - Role of Writing The therapeutic role of writing in processing experiences.

00:30:22 - Advice for Adoptive Parents Jessica offers insights for prospective adoptive parents.

00:35:09 - Unpredictability of Parenthood Discussion on the unpredictability of parenting, biological or adoptive.

00:38:06 - Conclusion and Resources Wrap-up of the conversation and sharing resources for listeners.

"I didn't realize how strong I was until, you know, I got into therapy and started to understand all the things that I've overcome." - Ron Jenkins

Read the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JFJJKB7XP00HAV5P6H6ETQGJ

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Ron Jenkins, a remarkable individual whose journey through the complexities of foster care and adoption is both harrowing and inspiring. Ron's story begins with the tragic loss of his mother as a young child, leading him and his siblings into the foster care system. He was eventually adopted by a woman who, rather than providing a safe haven, exploited the system for drug money, resulting in a chaotic and violent environment.

Ron candidly shares the trauma he experienced, including the loss of several brothers to violence and the pervasive fear that defined his childhood. Despite these challenges, he made a conscious decision to steer clear of gangs and drugs, ultimately finding a mentor who changed the trajectory of his life. This mentor not only provided guidance but also became a father figure, helping Ron navigate his way to a football scholarship at Fresno State University.

Throughout our conversation, Ron emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy, therapy, and the need to break the cycle of trauma. He encourages listeners, especially men, to seek help and recognize that they deserve the same opportunities as anyone else. Ron's journey of healing and his commitment to helping at-risk youth through mentorship and advocacy work is truly inspiring.

We also touched on the impact of sexual abuse in Ron's life and how it shaped his relationships. He highlights the importance of addressing these issues through therapy, which has been instrumental in his healing process.

As we wrapped up, Ron shared exciting news about a movie being made about his life, and he invited anyone interested in supporting this project to reach out. This episode is a powerful reminder of resilience, the importance of community, and the potential for transformation, even in the face of overwhelming adversity. I hope Ron's story resonates with you and inspires you to seek help, advocate for yourself, and support others in their journeys.

===============

📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL

📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar

✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing

💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

RESOURCES:

Ron's information:

• Ron's email: [email protected]

• Documentary coming 2025-2026 - email Ron to find out how best to support that project

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

• Celia Center, led by Jeanette Yoffe: https://celiacenter.org/

• Runaway Girl: Escaping Life on the Streets by Carissa Phelps: https://www.amazon.com/Runaway-Girl-Escaping-Life-Streets/dp/0143123335

• Carissa's nonprofit organization's website: https://runawaygirl.com/

===============

Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube

Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com

Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION

===============

Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!

===============

TIME STAMPS:

00:00:00 - Introduction Welcome to Unraveling Adoption with host Beth Syverson and guest Ron Jenkins.

00:01:43 - Ron's Adoption Story Ron shares his early experiences in foster care and adoption.

00:02:21 - Foster Care Challenges Discussion of difficulties faced due to his adoptive mother's drug use.

00:03:57 - Violence and Trauma Recounting violent incidents and trauma in his childhood.

00:06:36 - Avoiding Gangs Ron discusses his choices to stay away from gang involvement.

00:10:07 - Loss of a Brother Heartbreaking story of his brother's murder and its impact.

00:12:39 - Self-Advocacy Ron reflects on learning to advocate for himself.

00:14:23 - Mentorship Introduction of Mr. Burnett, a key mentor in Ron's life.

00:16:30 - Impact of Sports How sports provided structure and discipline.

00:20:08 - Helping Youth Ron talks about his work with at-risk youth.

00:22:43 - Trust and Self-Advocacy The importance of learning to trust and advocate for oneself.

00:25:04 - Value of Therapy Emphasizing therapy's role in healing from trauma.

00:28:05 - Sexual Abuse Experiences Ron shares his experiences with sexual abuse.

00:33:16 - Relationship Patterns How past abuse influenced his adult relationships.

00:36:10 - Breaking the Cycle The importance of addressing abusive patterns.

00:38:49 - Healing and Strength Reflections on healing through faith and therapy.

00:39:39 - Book Recommendation Ron recommends "Runaway Girl" for inspiration.

00:40:52 - Movie Project News about a movie being made about Ron's life.

00:42:17 - Closing Remarks Beth thanks Ron and encourages listeners to connect with resources.

"I use the language of supply and demand because this is a market-based system and it's uncomfortable for a lot of people, right? Because you're talking about a supply and demand of human beings." -- Gretchen Sisson

Read the transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JESZ6VPKJMRTMRHX6ZMBHDB7

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Gretchen Sisson, the author of the acclaimed book Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood. Gretchen's work stems from a decade-long qualitative sociological study that delves into the experiences of relinquishing mothers and critiques the American adoption system.

We discussed her journey into this research, which began while she was working with pregnant and parenting young people in Boston. Gretchen highlighted the stigmatization of young motherhood and the disconnect between societal narratives and the lived experiences of these women. Her research emphasizes the complexities of adoption, particularly how it intersects with issues of reproductive health and justice.

Gretchen shared insights from her book, revealing that the majority of women who are denied access to abortion end up parenting their children, with only a small percentage choosing adoption. This led to a discussion about the implications of the recent Dobbs decision and its potential impact on adoption rates, as well as the troubling commodification of children within the adoption system.

Throughout our conversation, we explored the reactions to her book from both the adoption community and the broader public. While many adoptees have resonated with her work, some adoptive parents have expressed defensiveness. We emphasized the importance of listening to adoptees and understanding the systemic issues surrounding adoption.

Gretchen also touched on the need for better support systems for both adoptive parents and adoptees, advocating for a more nuanced understanding of family structures and the complexities of parenting. We concluded with a call to action for listeners to engage with the voices of adoptees and to consider the broader implications of adoption in our society.

I encourage everyone to check out Gretchen's book, available in various formats, and to connect with her on social media. Thank you for joining us in this important conversation about adoption and its many layers.

===============

📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL

📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar

✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing

💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

RESOURCES:

Gretchen's information:

• Pick up Gretchen's amazing book Relinquished: https://www.amazon.com/Relinquished-Politics-Adoption-Privilege-Motherhood/dp/1250286778

• Find Gretchen on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gretchen.sisson/

Other book mentioned in this episode:

• The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-Child/dp/0963648004

===============

Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube

Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com

Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION

===============

Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!

===============

TIME STAMPS:

00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:00:44 - Introducing Gretchen Sisson 00:01:41 - Gretchen's Research Journey 00:02:53 - Understanding Sociology 00:04:10 - Qualitative vs. Quantitative Research 00:05:36 - Impactful Stories in Adoption 00:06:40 - Response to Gretchen's Book 00:07:53 - Abortion and Adoption Dynamics 00:09:03 - Post-Dobbs Adoption Trends 00:10:55 - The Supply and Demand of Adoption 00:12:49 - Financial Aspects of Adoption 00:13:28 - Redirecting Adoption Funds 00:14:55 - Birth Mothers' Financial Needs 00:16:15 - Adoptee Perspectives on Adoption 00:17:37 - Adoptive Parents' Reactions 00:19:53 - Complexities of Adoption 00:22:06 - Supporting Adoptive Families 00:23:39 - Infertility and Adoption 00:25:23 - Broader Perspectives on Parenthood 00:27:39 - Listening to Adoptees 00:29:35 - Final Thoughts and Takeaways 00:31:09 - Where to Find Gretchen's Work 00:31:49 - Upcoming Events from Unraveling Adoption 00:33:05 - Closing Remarks