Natty takes you on a ride through an awkward conversation that he had at a party – that he didn’t even instigate. Then, he talks about nutrition. What?!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

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Natty recounts a cringe-worthy party conversation where a stranger critiqued his podcast, forcing him to invent fake content about cheese. The story spirals into discussions about podcast focus, a nutritionist visit, and a harrowing crawfish allergy incident.

“I don’t understand it, what’s the point? That’s not a nice thing to say to somebody.”

“I don’t have a single episode out of 300 and whatever that are, have, I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned cheese ever, so that’s the pickle that I’m in right now”

“they’re very giving, they’re not, they’re not selfish, they’re just shellfish”

Natty Bumpercar: And so then the weirdest thing happened was that somebody came up to me, I was at a party, and I was actually in a different conversation, but someone came up to me who I didn't even really know, and they stood there on the side while the other person was finishing what they were saying, and it was awkward because since I didn't really know this new person, I'm not good at introductions. I'm really bad at names. I forget names all the time. So when they came up, it put this weird pressure on my brain, and I actually forgot the name of the person who I was friends with, who I was talking to, so then I didn't know anyone's name in the conversation, right? So it started off weird, is what I'm saying. And also, when they walked up, they didn't say like, hey, or anything, they just came and stood next to us in this conversation, and so I'm looking at the person who's speaking to me, who I'm in a conversation with, and then my eyes cut over to the side to see this new person, and then I kind of gave them like a little acknowledging, like my right hand, I kind of went up, gave them a tiny wave, and I kind of shrugged my shoulders and raised my eyebrows. Hey, you know, oh, like that kind of thing, hey, oh, you know, like I know you're there, hey, hold on a second, whatever. But the other person was like, they were engrossed in whatever they were saying, and so I didn't want to interrupt them to do the introduction, and so I had to wait for the perfect time in the conversation to, you know, to try that. And you know, the third person who came up, they just stood there, silent, so they weren't now, they were not even interacting in the conversation. It was like they were in line for the next part of the conversation or something like that, which I guess maybe is what they were supposed to do, I don't really know. It was just weird, there was strangeness happening. And then finally, the person who was talking went, oh, I'm sorry, you know, my name is, and they said their name, and then that person was like, oh, I'm so-and-so, and I was like, oh, I'm sorry, I should have introduced you, when the fact was, I couldn't have introduced them because in my panic, I had forgotten both of their names. And that's fine. But then, so they've introduced themselves, we're all in this conversation, and the third person came over just to do, I guess, what they had come to do, which was to say to me, I listened to your podcast, I can't remember what it's, The Bump or something, and I was like, oh, The Bumper Podcast, sure. They said sure. And then they said this, they said, I don't understand it, what's the point? That's not a nice thing to say to somebody. If somebody has made something, like if I made a painting, or if I wrote a book, or if I, just whatever, if someone comes up to you and says, hey, I saw that thing that you did, I don't get it, what's the point? It made me laugh because, I mean, I'm socially awkward, but I knew, I knew that this person had taken social awkwardness and uncomfortability to a whole nother level, a whole nother peak, a whole nother precipice, we're on a precipice here! And so I kind of laughed, and then the original person that I was talking to, I saw their eyes, if you watch people's faces and their bodies, you can see how they react to things, their eyes actually flared open, like that, and their shoulders kind of went back and tensed a little bit, like a little bit tense, a little bit nervous, and I stayed calm as a cucumber because I'm not offended, I just thought it was an incredibly awkward thing to say, and so I said, what do you mean? We were playing, we were essentially playing tennis as a conversation at this point, what do you mean? And then they were awkward, because they weren't ready for me to put it back on them, I guess they wanted me to pull out the Bumper Podcast About section and give them a blow-by-blow as to what it's all about and explain it, but they just kind of looked at me, a couple beats, like 2, 3, 4, and then I was like, alright, I gotta salvage this, I gotta fix this, I was like, it's the Bumper Podcast, it's a podcast about Coffee Can Alley, where I live, you know, we hang out at headquarters, and all my pals come on, and sometimes people who aren't my pals, like Pig will come on, he's my pal, Rufus T. Rufus will show up, but he's more of a work acquaintance, he's my lawyer, so he doesn't, you know, and then Robot sometimes will show up, I haven't seen him in a while, he actually, so Robot's voice changed, and he's not comfortable with his new voice, and so that's, he told me that's the reason that he does not come on the podcast as much as he used to, Doodle Poodle was here last week, I believe it was, he's working on his very own doodling podcast, and the thing is, somebody left a comment, hey, when is this drawing podcast gonna come out that you're talking so much about, and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you really want a whole podcast to just Doodle Poodle, because we can make that happen, and I have no doubts that that podcast would shoot up the charts right past the Bumper Podcast, because you know what, it has a niche focus, which means people can immediately, you know, the Doodle Poodle, Doodlecast, whatever, and people are like, oh, okay, so this is gonna be about drawing, I like drawing, whereas the Bumper Podcast, people are like, what is it about, and I have to say, it's just about us, it's about life, it's about stuff that happens around headquarters, it's about silly stories, it's about the interpersonal relationships of everyone who lives here in headquarters, and people are like, I don't know any of those words, I don't know what that means, I don't know what you're talking about, and I go, fair enough, so what I ended up saying to this person at the party was, you know, I explained a little bit about Coffee Can Alley and headquarters and who was on it, and then I said, ah, but mostly, mostly it's about cheese, and his eyebrows arched, one of his eyebrows, the other one stayed down, because he was intrigued, cheese, he said, cheese, and I was like, ah, yeah, yeah, we talk a lot about cheese, we have cheese of the week, you know, we have special cheese episodes, we go to cheese festivals, and he was like, oh, that's, that's not the episode I listen to, I listen to an episode about a turkey, and I was just like, ah, yeah, that was a, that was a one-off, that was a tangential episode about, about turkey who comes in, and he was like, ah, all right, I have to, send me some links, you know, that old gag, send me some links to some, some episodes that, you know, really highlight the cheese stuff, and I was just like, oh boy, oh no, I don't have a single episode out of 300 and whatever that are, have, I don't know if I've ever mentioned cheese ever, so that's the pickle that I'm in right now, wait a minute, maybe it'll be about pickles and cheese, ha ha, man, this podcast is really broadening its horizon, it's expanding, but, you know, then that's the problem, because if we expand too far, we're right back at the regular bumper podcast, where it can be about anything at all, anything and everything, so, man, gotta, gotta really hone in, you gotta focus, because otherwise, you know, like, there's these message boards, and they're like, same thing, what's your podcast about, and I explain it, they're like, I don't know, I don't know what, none of that, I'm like, trust me, it's amazing, the greatest thing ever, it's on every week, doesn't take that much of your time, and you know what you do when you leave, you feel better, they're like, oh, why, because you talk about pickles and cheese, I'm like, no, no, no, that was a red herring, oh, you talk about fish as well, no, I don't talk about fish, I don't like fish, I'm allergic to fish, this reminds me, though, yesterday, a child and I went to see the nutritionist, a nutritionist, not the, I don't know if there's specifically one nutritionist on the planet, but this is, we went to see a nutritionist, and to see if we could figure, we're trying to figure out some of the issues he's having, we're having issues, and it was an hour-long session, we talked about food for maybe 24 minutes of it, and then the other however many minutes, I can't do math right now, 35 minutes was just off-the-wall bananas, like, making not a lot of sense, here's what they tell you when you go to a nutritionist, you keep a food journal, what's that, well, you write down everything that you eat, and then they specifically, they're like, well, does it have triglycerides in it, I'm like, I don't know, I just wrote down peach or whatever, so then you have to get even more information, but the end result was, all right, you're gonna watch out for processed sugar, dyes, any processed food in general, and words and ingredients that you can't pronounce, and I was like, I know all this, these are all things I know, but I graciously, I took the advice, thank you so much, this is gonna be very helpful, I'm probably gonna talk about it on my podcast, you know, and really try to mix in the cheese talk, and the pickle talk, and no fish talk, can I tell you a story about fish though, I was out to dinner with some people, did I already tell you this, and it was at a restaurant that served, like, Louisiana kind of food, Cajun kind of food, Cajun, yum, and for an appetizer, the gentleman who was with us got some crawfish etouffee, mm-hmm, sounds delicious, now, crawfish is like a lobster, but it's tinier, and it lives in the Mississippi River, down in the delts, down there, you understand, and it's, I think they're, I don't know what color they are, kind of brown, but then you cook them, and they're red, but they're, they're like little shellfish, I guess, and they're very giving, they're not, they're not selfish, they're just shellfish, and so I said, sure, I've never had crawfish, I'm from Georgia, you would have thought I would have had crawfish, I'll give it a shot, I'll give it a try, and he gave me a little scoop of it, I went to eat it, and before it even hit my mouth, I could smell, I could feel, it was super fishy, super duper fishy, and I am completely anti-fish, it makes me, it's not a good look for me, it's a bad thing, but I ate it, because I felt obliged to, because it was given to me, a tiniest little bite, and within seconds, we discovered that I am allergic to, not all shellfish, because I can eat shrimp, but I am allergic to crawfish, or etouffee, I don't know which one I'm allergic to, but it's definitely one of the two, the throat swelled up, I couldn't speak, I could still breathe, kind of, but it was definitely a situation where I was like, I, this, I might be dying right now, this might be, I might, this might be the end of me, and it was like that for most of the night, and people were like, I did tell you this story, because people were freaking out, they were like, why didn't you go to the doctor, why didn't you get an EpiPen, why didn't you, they're freaking out, and I was like, I, you know, I, I come from a time where you just kind of suffer, that's, that's my motto, that's, that's my lot in life, hey, do you not feel good, no, I don't feel great, we'll do something about it, no, no, no, I'm gonna suffer, oh, you mean you're gonna sit there and suffer and complain about it, and not fix it, no, no, no, I'm probably not gonna complain about it, I'm, but I will suffer in silence, it's okay, I might make a weird joke about it, or kind of a tangential side joke that encapsulates the, the misery that I'm going through, without putting an extreme spotlight on the exact thing, but, uh, you know, suffer, that's my lot in life, so I always like to say, and I think this is gonna be the name of one of my books whenever I get around to writing it, that, uh, my trauma is evergreen, just like you, the Bumper Podcasketeers, what's the point of this, why do you do it, ah!

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