It’s Valentine’s Day at Headquarters, and Natty has a super-great guest to talk to about it. Here’s a hint – it’s Valentine!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

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Valentine’s Day gets the Bumperpodcast treatment as Natty welcomes a very special guest – Valentine himself! But there’s a problem: Valentine is sad because he doesn’t have his own valentine. Through the magic of friendship, Aloysius J. Pig, Doodle Poodle, Rufus T. Rufus, and even Robot all come together to make sure no one is left out on this day of love.

“I’m so sad because today is Valentine’s Day, and sometimes people get so sad that I don’t even have a valentine of my own.”

“This is the best day of my life. Like, bar none.”

“It’s just supposed to be a nice little day where people can say, Happy Valentine’s to people and then people smile because people need more reasons to smile in this world.”

Natty Bumpercar: Hey everybody, it's me, Natty Bumper Car, and welcome to the Bumper Podcast. I've missed you, and you know what today is? It's a special day. It's Valentine's Day. Will you be my valentine? I will definitely be yours. I am so happy to see you, and I'm more happy because we have a very special guest today. So if you could, just give a warm welcome to my friend. You've never met them before, but here they are.

Valentine: Say hi.

Natty Bumpercar: Oh, hi Natty Bumper Car. Hi buddy, that's right everybody. Valentine is here. Little bitty, heart looking valentine is here. I am so here, but I'm so sad.

Valentine: Oh no, why are you so sad? You're not supposed to be sad.

Natty Bumpercar: You're valentine. Today's your big day. I'm so sad because today is Valentine's Day, and sometimes people get so sad that I don't even have a valentine of my own.

Valentine: Oh no, valentine. I thought everyone was your valentine. What do you mean you don't have a valentine of your own? That doesn't make any sense to me at all.

Natty Bumpercar: Well, sometimes people don't like Valentine's Day because they say, I don't need Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day is silly. Valentine's Day is dumb. And I just have to sit by and get very, very sad. That's, oh, people do that. It's weird. Valentine's Day is one of those holidays. It's not really a holiday.

Valentine: It's just a special day, I guess, but where people get really upset by it.

Natty Bumpercar: I think we talked about this before with Christmas and stuff, where holidays seem to really bring out a lot of emotions in people because they get nostalgic for past times or people they used to know or different situations that they were in or whatever. With Valentine's Day, it's one of those things where it depends on your mindset, I guess. If you have a valentine and you're like, I have the love of my life, whatever, then people can be happy and if not, then people are like, I'm not happy and I wish you weren't happy. It's a weird thing.

Valentine: They also say that it's just a corporate day for cards and candy and it doesn't mean anything, but to me it means a whole lot. Yeah, they do. They say, hey, this was a holiday that was invented by card companies to sell cards and that's kind of their rallying point or whatever. But, like, it's a fun day.

Natty Bumpercar: If it's a fun day, and I don't want to say it doesn't hurt anyone because people do get

Valentine: upset by it, I guess. Now I don't know what to think. I was going one way, but if people get upset by it, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think, Valentine. Help me! Here's the thing. It's just supposed to be a nice little day where people can say, Happy Valentine's to people and then people smile because people need more reasons to smile in this world and so it's a good day, I think. And so if you see somebody, you should look at them and you should say, Happy Valentine and then they're going to smile.

Natty Bumpercar: Unless, of course, they don't smile, at which point I guess they could get upset that some random stranger has said Happy Valentine's to them. Guys, this is a tricky one. I like it.

Aloysious J. Pig: I walk around all day and I'm like, Hey, Happy Valentine's. Hey, Happy Valentine's Day.

Natty Bumpercar: Hey, Happy Valentine's.

Aloysious J. Pig: That's what I do, right?

Natty Bumpercar: Because, you know, I feel like, especially if people are kind of sad and they're like, I don't have a Valentine's, then I'm walking around and I'm like, Hey, person at that sandwich shop, Happy Valentine's Day. And they're like, Hey, thanks, bro. And it kind of, hopefully, makes somebody feel a little okay because they were acknowledged in this big, scary world. But, you know, you also have to read the room.

Aloysious J. Pig: So if someone clearly doesn't look like they want to engage in being given a Happy Valentine's, then just, you know, move along. Move along. And don't be offended if somebody's like, I don't care about Valentine's Day, because that's their prerogative. They can care about it or they cannot care about it. That's my whole take on it.

Valentine: But that doesn't help my problem, because I'm still kind of sad and alone because nobody is my Valentine's. Well, I have a great idea, Valentine's.

Natty Bumpercar: Hold on one second, because I hear somebody coming down the steps. We'll see if this works out for you.

Aloysious J. Pig: Hey, what's going on? Bubba God, it's me, Aloysius J. Pig.

Valentine: What is this new rig?

Natty Bumpercar: Is this your new computer? Yeah, this is the new computer I got.

Aloysious J. Pig: So you finally got it. Yeah, it's expensive. So that's why we can finally record, because I've been missing out on doing the podcast. I wasn't even going to talk about that on the podcast, but yeah, we did have to get a new computer because the old computer broke. It was like nine days without a computer, and I do computer stuff nonstop. That's pretty much my entire life. So to not have a computer for nine days was brutal.

Valentine: But it's okay, because here we are. And speaking of being here we are, Pig, I would like to introduce you to… Hey, what's up, Valentine? How you doing, kid? I ain't seen you around.

Aloysious J. Pig: What you been doing? What you been knowing? What you been seeing? What you been stewing? I don't know.

Natty Bumpercar: I got confused there. I was going to do one of my little patented rhyme songs, but I kind of got a little confused.

Aloysious J. Pig: It's okay. Hi, Aloysius. It's so nice to see you. I just was wondering if I could ask you a little question.

Valentine: Ooh, this is very exciting. Valentine's going to ask Pig a question. I wonder what it could be.

Aloysious J. Pig: Relax, Bump. Back up a little bit, okay? Just let me take over here.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, so anyway, I was wondering, because today is Valentine's Day,

Aloysious J. Pig: if you would want to be my valentine.

Natty Bumpercar: Aw. So sweet. So weirdly drawn out. Valentine, you're saying that you want me to be your valentine? That's the sweetest thing I ever heard. I didn't even get you nothing. I didn't get no card. I didn't get no flowers. I didn't get no chocolates. I didn't get no nothing. No jewelry. I didn't even name a star after you. I didn't make you any crafts. I didn't bake you any confectionaries or nothing. That's okay. You know what, Aloysius? As long as you have love in your heart and you say,

Doodle Poodle: will you be my valentine, then I feel 100% better. So what do you say, Pig?

Natty Bumpercar: Pig, will you be my valentine?

Doodle Poodle: Absolutely.

Natty Bumpercar: You know I will.

Doodle Poodle: This makes me so happy.

Natty Bumpercar: I was wandering around today. I was like, I wonder who's going to be my valentine. And all of a sudden, bing, bang, boom, I look over, and my valentine is actually valentine.

Doodle Poodle: This is the best day of my life. Like, bar none. Aw, man. What a superb Valentine's Day.

Rufus T. Rufus: You know what? We should go get a triple decker soft serve fudge and caramel, all the sprinkles, all the toppings, sundae delight, and split it and have a wonderful day. What do you say? I say that's the best news I've ever heard in my whole entire life.

Natty Bumpercar: Thanks, Aloysius, and thanks, Natty Bumpercar. I'll see you guys later. Yeah, see you later, Bumps. We got things to do. We got places to be. We'll see you later, okay? Okay. Congratulations on the new computer, bro. Thank you.

Robot: Don't forget, you have to chip in and help pay for it. Wow.

Natty Bumpercar: What a weird turn of events.

Doodle Poodle: That was so nice. We saw Valentine.

Natty Bumpercar: We found out that Valentine was a little bit sad because they didn't feel like they had their own valentine, and then it turned out that Aloysius J. Pig was their valentine. It's so sweet. It's like everybody gets their own valentine. You know, if the world just works out for them. But now I just looked around, and I just noticed that there's nobody else here. So does that mean I don't have a valentine? Weird. That's kind of sad, I guess. I feel so alone. I feel so unloved, so unvalentined. I don't even. Huh. I was happy for a second ago, but now I'm a little bit sad. Huh. You know what? I'm going to be my own valentine. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to love myself, and I'm going to be happy with myself, and I'm my own valentine, and I'm fine with that. It's okay if it didn't work out for me this year. My valentine's out there somewhere, and I'll find him. I will. Hi, Daddy Puffer Car. It's me, Doodle Poodle. Hi, Doodle Poodle. And I heard that maybe somebody was looking for a valentine. Nope, nope, nope. Would you want to go and doodle with me? That's a very. . . You know what, Doodle Poodle? Normally I would say no, but that's a very sweet offer, so fine. I suppose that this year you're my valentine, and if you want to go and doodle, then that's what we can do. Happy Valentine's Day, Doodle Poodle. That's the best news I've ever heard in my whole entire life. I'll go get my crayons, and my crayons, and my pencils, and all of my doodling supplies. You're the best valentine ever, Daddy Puffer Car. Hold on one second. This is Rufus D. Rufus here, and I was just wondering. . . I heard that everyone has their own valentine, but I was looking over my docket, I was looking over my sheets, I was looking over my ledges, and I noticed that I myself did not have a valentine, so I was wondering if I could come and hang out with you guys and perhaps do a little bit of doodling as well. You know what, Rufus? No man left behind. You are going to come. You are going to be our valentine, and we are all going to valentines together, and it is going to be the best day ever. I'm so happy everybody got together, and we're going to have a wonderful day, and I hope you have a wonderful day too, Bumper Podcast. It's so nice to talk to you. You take care of yourself, you stay warm, and we will be seeing you soon. Natty, it's me, Robot. Is it okay if I come along too? Yeah, you can come along too. Yeah, bring your robot friend along, Natty. Everybody's getting along today. This is the best day ever!

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