It has come to our attention that not everyone is lucky enough to know about the Bumperpodcast. So – we have a big meeting to discuss strategies for getting the word out!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to [email protected], or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

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“We’re 345 episodes into the podcast and there are a lot of people who don’t even know that it exists.”

“Have you ever heard of skywriting? It’s where you take some words and you put them up in the air where the clouds usually are.”

“Does anybody know any snails? Snails are known around the world as being the best marketers that there ever was.”

Natty Bumpercar: All right, everybody, gather round, gather round, gather round, gather round, gather round.

Rufus T. Rufus: I just woke up. What's going on, Bumpercar? Why are you making me get up? What's going on? What's going on? Now, listen, Mr. Bumpercar, I'm not… I'm supposed to be on the retainer. Rufus T. Rufus, your lawyer, understand that I don't know if I should be here at all. Why are we having… What are we doing? What is this? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Why are we having… What is this? What are we doing? What is this exactly? What's happening?

Natty Bumpercar: Hey, Aloysius JPG, Rufus T. Rufus, and Doodle Poodle. It is so nice of you to join me. We're having a meeting right now, because it has come to my attention…

Rufus T. Rufus: What do you mean? We're having some sort of a get together?

Natty Bumpercar: Yes, a meeting. A meeting. It has come to my attention that people don't even know that we have a podcast. We're 345 episodes into the podcast, and there are a lot of people who don't even know that it exists, which is very worrisome to me.

Rufus T. Rufus: Now listen, Mr. Bumper Guy, what would you presuppose and allotose that we do about this situation? Is there some sort of a plan, some sort of a schematic, some sort of a structure, integrity that we could build together and snap together and work together to get it all together? I don't understand. I don't understand the contract, because I can sign a contract. I am a lawyer. I understand.

Natty Bumpercar: Alright, Rufus, we get it. You're a lawyer, okay? What, were you shot out of a cannon today? Relax, bro. Okay, go ahead, Bumper Guy. What are you going to talk about? Tell us what you want. What I'm thinking is that we need to get the word out. We need to do some sort of marketing, like let people know that the Bumper Podcast exists, and so then they will start listening. Because I'm sure, I am positive, that once people start listening to this show, they're going to be hooked. And then they're going to go back and they're going to listen to all 345 episodes, and then they're going to be like, what have I been missing my whole life? We'll have subscribers, we'll have reviews, we'll have likes. Um, so maybe I have a few ideas that I would like to share with the group. If it's okay, I can tell everybody what maybe I was thinking we could do. Listen, we all know what you're going to say. You're going to say…

Doodle Poodle: I was going to say we should make some doodles.

Natty Bumpercar: Exactly. I think at this point, we all know you get it. We know what you're going to say. Yeah.

Doodle Poodle: I like to make drawings of things. But I think that if we can make some nice drawings of the Bumper Podcast, then maybe everybody will know about it and they'll start to listen.

Natty Bumpercar: Um, alright Doodle Poodle, I appreciate you bringing that to the table. Um, that's officially the first idea. Uh, you know, I think we should probably try to come up with some… I have a couple of ideas myself. Have you ever heard of skywriting? It's where you take some words and you put them up in the air where the clouds usually are.

Rufus T. Rufus: You say clouds?

Natty Bumpercar: The clouds, son.

Rufus T. Rufus: I said clouds.

Natty Bumpercar: Are you saying clown?

Rufus T. Rufus: Clouds.

Natty Bumpercar: What do you not understand?

Rufus T. Rufus: You're saying clown. Like you want to go to a circus and put clowns in the sky holding balloons or something? I mean, I guess it's going to get the eyeballs up there. People are definitely going to look if there's flying clowns around. But I just don't know if I ever heard of it.

Natty Bumpercar: It's out of the box. It's definitely out of the box. I like what you're thinking. Okay, so far, I mean, I guess we have two ideas. We have the making drawings for the podcast somehow. And then we have flying clowns.

Rufus T. Rufus: I say, I say, listen to me. I say clouds. I don't know the different cloud names. You understand what I'm saying, though? The puffy things up in the sky.

Natty Bumpercar: The puffy.

Rufus T. Rufus: Puffy. I want to make some puffy in the sky. Understand, son?

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. So here are the type of clouds. You're actually going to learn something today in the bumper podcast. Are stratus, cumulus, and stratocumulus. But then I did a search while you were talking, Rufus. And there's actually a lot. There's stratus, cirrus, cumulus, nimbostratus, cirrostratus, cirrocumulus, cumulus, I don't know what that is. Altocumulus, altostratus, stratocumulus. I mean, like, this is like with dinosaurs. Cumulonimbus. Where when I was growing up, there were like four dinosaurs, right? There was a T-Rex. There was a Triceratops. There was a Stegosaurus. Hold on. What am I forgetting? Stega, Tri, T-Rex, and then the Brontosaurus, right? And I think that was that all that we knew, that I knew about?

Rufus T. Rufus: I feel like that is.

Natty Bumpercar: And then flash forward, you know, a couple of decades, I guess, and you got, you know, 100 dinosaur names. Like, when I first, when we first had the kids, and I was like, oh, yeah, let's read about dinosaurs. I know all about dinosaurs. And I start to read, and there's like Compsognathus, Allosaurus, like all this stuff that I'm just like, what in the what is this? And then, to add insult to injury, the Brontosaurus isn't even a dinosaur anymore. It turns out that Brontosaurus is actually something called, it's an Apatosaurus. There was no Apatosaurus when I was growing up. What is this? These are shenanigans.

Rufus T. Rufus: That's fine. It's fine.

Natty Bumpercar: Pluto's not a planet. Brontosaurus isn't a dinosaur. Cats and dogs are living together.

Rufus T. Rufus: We're supposed to be talking. We're having a meeting.

Natty Bumpercar: All right, you're right. Yeah, we're supposed to be figuring out how to get people to listen,

Rufus T. Rufus: and I'm pretty sure your big debate about clouds and dinosaurs ain't going to do it, okay? So, here's my idea. SEO. Now, what exactly does SEO stand for, Piggy Lou?

Aloysious J. Pig: Does it stand, let's see here. Super Engaged Optometrics. Super Engaged Optetrics. I think it might stand for silly elephant orangutan. I don't know. I thought I was pretty happy with the elephant part, but then the orangutan, I think I lost it there.

Natty Bumpercar: Okay, I agree. Silly elephant. It's not. Some O word, huh? Okay, so what it actually stands for, and it's not a bad idea, is a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. So, the ocious. I think it's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. It makes sense to me. I don't feel like it really makes sense to you. I feel like you, I mean, I feel like you figured out a cool logic structure and it fits within that logic structure, but I don't feel like it actually makes any sense to anyone.

Rufus T. Rufus: Now, don't stop putting words into my mouth, Mr. Bumble Guy, because my mouth is already several times full of words, and it does make sense.

Natty Bumpercar: I am with Pig. I feel like S-E-O is the way to go. Ready? S-E-O is the way to go. Everybody now. S-E-O is the way to go. Everybody doing it.

Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, we finished? It was good.

Natty Bumpercar: I think they were done, yes.

Rufus T. Rufus: Okay, fine. S-E-O. It sounds great to me. So, we're going to put all the eggs in our basket into some supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I feel like really most of our time and money should be spent on the ocious, because that's the part that people tend to leave out and forget about. I think we should save a tiny bit of our plan for the floating clowns as well. I think that was pretty solid. People are going to respond to that.

Aloysious J. Pig: I don't understand why y'all can't understand what I'm saying. It's cumulostradivarialist clowls.

Natty Bumpercar: I don't know. That's weird. It got stuck in my throat there.

Aloysious J. Pig: Clowls. Clowls.

Natty Bumpercar: Are you okay?

Aloysious J. Pig: Clowls.

Natty Bumpercar: Is he okay? Somebody pat him on the back.

Aloysious J. Pig: I had one other good idea, too. I think that you'll maybe like a whole bunch. Does anybody know any snails? Olly canolly, the dog came up with a great idea. Snails are known throughout the world as being the best marketers that there ever was. We should hire some snails. An S-corp, if you will. A snail corp to do some SEO for us.

Rufus T. Rufus: It's all coming together, Bumper Corp. Great job pulling this meeting together. I am going to go back to sleep after I have my second breakfast. Next time, let's put some things on the calendar. We will talk to your people. We're going to blue sky a little bit. We're going to see what's the highest tent pole problem in this. You understand? See if it passes all the tests and whatnot.

Natty Bumpercar: I guess I'm going to go find some snails to hire to do some SEO for the website. I mean, not for the podcast. Here's what you can do, though, Bumper Podcast-ateers. If you're listening right now and you're having a good time, let people know about it. If you see a post about the Bumper Podcast, share it around. Let people know. You don't even have to be a snail to do this. You can just do it if you feel like it. Go write a review. Tell them what you heard. Tell them what you didn't understand. Tell them what you loved. Save what you didn't love for yourself. Keep that in your heart, okay? Because then your heart will make you love it eventually. I promise. So anyway, I am Natty Bumpercar. You are my best friends, and I will see you! Beep!

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