Welcome to today’s episode of Few being on the run from the British constabulary! Today BurningLila swings back by the pod for the last time before she and Few meet in person and Few remains unincarcerated. We finish up with her introduction today by trying to talk about her childhood and run headfirst into her confabulation imagination; what do you do when you try to look back at the past and realize you don’t actually remember how it felt? What causes a child to disinvest themselves from emotionally engaging with the world? How does talking about prior trauma as an adult help you reframe/gain new perspective on narratives that don’t capture the whole story of what happened then? We then move on to being spokespeople for Big Oil to disambiguate ‘gaslighting’ (a term that Vaknin also has distaste for); when is it done when the disordered person is confabulating/gaslighting themselves, when is it done sadistically, and when is it done as a desperate defence to avoid vulnerable moments and spaces? Finally, we move on to insecurity, the fear of feeling good, and the grandiosity of trying to take on long term tasks and projects like cathedral building. For example, the emptiness that comes in one’s life as a result of being so afraid of failure that one emotionally invests into their own failings and depravity as the easier thing to accomplish and how they can’t be blindsided when they are feeling ‘good’.Hopefully everyone enjoys hearing me rant about my hobby horses like community and are all suitably impressed bythe result of Lila’s long term efforts, a Burning hovel. 

Also, if any of you were the teleport revive karthus’ in my league games circa 2015, then from the very depths my heart, a hearty ‘fuck you’ well and truly. I hope your first born never learns how to read. 

Also also, forgive the distortions in my voice, sounds like Alitu’s recording software wanted to auto-tune my voice or something.