Oh honey… this week the stupid came in HOT, humid, and Florida‑flavored. We kick things off with a hospital in Florida that had to sue a discharged patient because he’s been living in his room like it’s a studio apartment for five. whole. months. Sir, this is not an Airbnb, and Medicare does NOT cover squatting.

Then—because Florida never lets us down—a man with a suspended license was caught driving backwards on the highway… with the same suspended license he’s habitually charged for. That’s not driving, that’s a cry for help and a physics experiment.

Up in Georgia, a woman called 911 to report her “unruly passenger,” only for police to discover she was actually trying to rob said passenger. Ma’am, you cannot call the cops on someone for interrupting your crime.

And finally, Detroit said “hold my bus pass.” Two DDOT employees were caught fondling each other and abandoning their active bus to go get romantic. Nothing says public service like leaving 40 people stranded so you can go make your own transfer.

Strap in, babies—this week’s stupid is bold, messy, and deeply committed to its craft.

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