Frangela: Idiot of the Week

Buckle up, because this week's Idiot of the Week has SO many nominees we had to fight over the crown ourselves.

First: a British Airways crew got sick after allegedly eating weed gummies handed to them by a passenger mid-flight. Ma'am. MA'AM. You're up there responsible for our safety at 30,000 feet and you're accepting mystery snacks from strangers like it's a slumber party? We need a whole new training module titled "Do Not Eat The Gummies."

Then we've got a woman who somehow got stuck INSIDE a Chuck E. Cheese game and had to be rescued by actual firefighters. Girl, what were you chasing in there? A jackpot? Your dignity? The firefighters showed up ready for a real emergency and instead found you wedged next to the skee-ball like a prize nobody claimed.

But the real Idiot of the Week — and we mean this with our whole chest — goes to the parents who encouraged their sons to fight OTHER CHILDREN at a cemetery. Sir. SIR. There is no version of "let the kids settle this at the graveyard" that ends well.

Grab your seatbelts and possibly a helmet, because this week's idiots came in hot, high, and swinging.

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We have a whole truckload of stupid this week!

A beer lover gets no prize for the Pabst Blue Ribbon. 

AI helps Mount Shasta hikers get lost.

Word to the wise, don’t show up to your don’t drink class drunk.

Why is the Cat in the Hat on TikTok?

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Y'all, we don't know where to even start this week because the idiocy is deep. First up, we're talking about a man in Vietnam who mistook toilet cleaner for a drink — and lost his entire stomach because of it. His entire stomach! We need a moment.

Then we're taking you to the mall, where two grown women decided the food court was the perfect venue for an old-fashioned, fists-flying brawl. Security got involved, handcuffs got involved, we are OBSESSED.

After that we head to Richmond, Virginia, where a doctor — a doctor! — wakes up to find a bat in her mouth. In. Her. Mouth. We scream every time we say it and we're going to make you scream too.

And we're closing things out on the high seas, because nothing says vacation like a brawl so chaotic it got sixteen — SIXTEEN — guests banned from ever sailing that cruise line again. We need to know what started it and we need to know now.

Grab your snacks, grab your bat-repellant and let's get into it — it's time for another Idiot of the Week.

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Okay, we need y'all to sit down for this one because the nominees this week are chaotic on a spiritual level and we cannot get over it.

First up: a woman gets arrested in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin for stealing an ambulance. Buck naked. Not a stitch on. And listen, if you can't steal an ambulance with your whole entire business hanging out in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin — a place that sounds like it was invented by a hymnal — then where CAN you? We need answers.

Then we're heading to New Jersey, where a pizzeria decided the real crime wasn't the calzone prices, it was a family bringing in their OWN birthday cake. So now the pizzeria's out here doing press. Girl, nobody wants your tiramisu take. Sit down.

Meanwhile in Phoenix, a Shake Shack employee got arrested for allegedly robbing his OWN store. We're sorry, if you're gonna rob a Shake Shack, at least steal from the OTHER Shake Shack — have some professional pride!

And finally, we go to Vermont, where a grown man faked threatening texts to HIMSELF just to get out of doing tech crew for the local production of Rocky Horror Picture Show. Sir. SIR. You could've just said you had a cold. You chose felony-adjacent instead.

Naked getaways, cake-shaming pizzerias, a self-robbing burger guy, and a man who feared Rocky Horror more than the police — this week's Idiot of the Week has it ALL, and honey, we are not okay.

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Okay, we've got FOUR contenders this week and we are struggling to pick just one, because they're all so, so special.

First up: a man police find hiding under a mattress, and when they pull him out, his own mother tries to punch the officers on his behalf. Family loyalty, folks.

Then we've got a guy who gets drunk and decides the move is to unload multiple weapons at a County Sheriff's Office helicopter. Just... why. Why is that ever the move.

Next, we're heading to West Palm Beach for a man who allegedly faked being in a coma — a whole coma! — to cover up nearly $190,000 in embezzlement. The commitment to the bit is almost impressive. Almost.

And finally, we've saved the best for last: a fugitive on the run whose own dog leads police straight to his hiding spot. No loyalty there either, apparently.

Four idiots enter, one idiot leaves with the crown. Who's it gonna be? We're voting so let's get into it.

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This week on Idiot of the Week, we are wading into the deep end of America’s questionable decision‑making — and baby, the water is boiling.

First up, we have the man who dipped his finger into a Yellowstone hot spring like it was a free sample at Costco… then slipped, fell in, and met the world’s most scalding natural consequence. We’re not saying Darwin tapped him on the shoulder, but the universe definitely whispered, “Sir, no.”

Then we slide over to the Gen Z employee who got suspended for thirty days and said, “Bet,” packed a bag, and left the country. HR called him back after ten days, all huffy, trying to remind him that suspension is punishment, not PTO. And we’d like to remind HR that they are not your mama, and they cannot ground employees.

Meanwhile, influencers are out here getting bitten by sharks while chasing the perfect “I’m one with nature” thirst trap. We love ambition, but if your content plan includes “Step 3: Get lightly mauled,” maybe rethink the brand strategy.

And finally, a North Carolina “volunteer” wildlife rehabilitator was charged after five raccoons were seized from her home. Five. Raccoons. In the house. Ma’am, that’s not rehabilitation — that’s roommates.

Grab your snacks, your sense and your snark, and let’s get into it.

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This week in stupid . . .

Pickles the pickleball rooster is MISSING, y'all. $450 reward. We don't make the rules, we just judge the ransom.

Meanwhile some genius tried to bring an AI "attorney" into an actual courtroom, and the judge was NOT having it — sir, that's a chatbot in a blazer, sit down.

Then Lake County said hold my beer and gave us TWO charter school principals arrested for DUI, hours apart, same car. Carpool of shame. We need the group chat.

And a bank robber made the staff hold a stolen kitten while he finished writing his robbery note. Priorities, people. PRIORITIES.

We are on a mission to mock stupid. Join us. 

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We start with a man who saw his eye twitch and decided it was a bad omen. Now, most people would Google it, hydrate, maybe take a nap. Not this fool. No, he slapped himself in the eye until he lost sight. Baby, if your solution to a twitch is violence against your own face, you are the omen.

Then we move on to a young mom of two who walked into a restaurant wearing a tank top and declared it was “freezing.” And instead of asking for a different seat or putting on a cardigan like a person, she set a fire at her table. Because nothing warms the soul like felony arson over appetizers.

Next up: the Zoom coaster rider. Turns out — and we cannot stress this enough — your coworkers WILL notice if you’re on a roller coaster during a meeting. They will see the wind. They will hear the screaming. They will clock the loop‑de‑loop. And they will absolutely report you to HR.

And finally, we close with a Chinese man who decided to hand‑feed his pet snake. Hand. Feed. His. Snake. Baby, snakes don’t do gratitude. Snakes do bite, and this one took his thumb like it was a sampler platter.

It’s a full buffet of bad decisions, and we are here for it!!!!!

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This week on Idiot of the Week, we are diving head‑first into a buffet of foolishness so fresh it’s still steaming. First up, we meet a man who called the police to report his car stolen… while he was actively robbing a store. Baby, that’s not multitasking — that’s a cry for help from the last two brain cells fighting for custody.

Then America proves once again that we need to manage our fast‑food expectations. A woman in a McDonald’s drive‑thru allegedly slapped a man because he took too long ordering. We’re not saying she was wrong, but we are saying she was wrong. It’s McDonald’s, not the Michelin Guide.

Meanwhile in Florida — because of course — a woman on house arrest for stabbing a lover in Broward County decided to stab another lover in Miami‑Dade. Ma’am, ankle monitors are not “Buy One, Get One Free” coupons for crime.

And finally, a group of scientists decided to race spiders to determine which one of Satan’s interns is the fastest. We don’t know what grant paid for this, but we do know it wasn’t enough.

Who will win the coveted crown? The criminal who called the cops on himself, the slap‑happy drive‑thru diva, the double‑county stabber, or the spider‑racing science squad? Pull up a chair — the nonsense is piping hot.

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Baby, this week on Idiot of the Week, we are wading chest‑deep through the swamp of human decision‑making, and let me tell you… the gators aren’t the dangerous ones.

We kick things off in Florida — because of course we do — where a man is suing Waffle House for allegedly weaponizing their window ads. Yes, he claims the sign was so distracting that he tripped over an “abnormally high curb.” We’re asking the only reasonable question: how high does a curb have to be before it becomes a civil rights violation? 

Then we slide over to Chesapeake, where an inmate has filed a lawsuit against… himself. For getting drunk. And violating his own civil rights. We don’t know if this is self‑care, self‑harm, or self‑employment, but we do know it’s peak American jurisprudence.

Next up, a substitute teacher decided the lesson plan was optional and the twerk was mandatory. She threw the curriculum in the trash, declared herself a “million‑dollar prostitute,” and proceeded to give the kids a masterclass in What Not To Do In Any Profession Ever. We’re not saying she’s wrong about her valuation — we’re saying maybe keep that off the syllabus.

And finally, back to Florida — because gravity pulls us there — where a man was pulled over for speeding and the officer discovered 34 open cans of White Claw riding shotgun. Thirty‑four. That’s not a beverage choice; that’s a cry for help and a citrus‑flavored lifestyle.

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