This week feels like it was organized by a committee of sleep‑deprived raccoons.

Senate Republicans have now blocked a resolution to stop Krump’s escalating conflict with Iran for the seventh time — because apparently the eighth time is when democracy magically kicks in. Meanwhile, the Senate has confirmed Kevin Warsh, a man widely described as a probable sock puppet, to run the Federal Reserve. Yes, the institution that controls interest rates may now be chaired by someone who lives with Trump's hand in his vestibule.

Vice President J.D. Vance announced that $1.3 billion in federal Medicaid reimbursements will be withheld from California, because nothing says “public service” like yanking healthcare funding from the people who need it most.

Over at Homeland Security, the inspector general has launched an investigation into ICE’s $38 billion warehouse‑to‑detention pipeline, a program started under former DHS Secretary Kisti Noem, who apparently thought “industrial‑scale incarceration” was a fun arts‑and‑crafts project.

And in a move that would make even the most shameless ethics lawyer weep into their coffee, Trump’s Justice Department is “discussing” whether to settle Trump’s own $10 billion lawsuit against the IRS — an agency he oversees. Because why just blur the lines when you can set them on fire and dance on the ashes.

Republican lawmakers in South Carolina, Louisiana, Missouri, Alabama, and Georgia continue their coordinated push to disenfranchise Black voters, proving once again that voter suppression is the one tradition they refuse to retire.

Finally, during a late‑night Truth Social posting spree, Trump labeled former President Obama a “traitor,” a “demonic force,” and part of a coup — accusations that appear to be based on absolutely nothing except the fumes of his own insomnia.

All that, plus the usual laughs, side‑eyes, and righteous rants. Buckle up.

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Baby, this week on Idiot of the Week, we are clutching our pearls, our purses, and our pancreas because the stupid is coming at us from every direction and none of it has pants on.

We kick things off in central Florida — of course we do — where some tourists decided the best way to honor their vacation memories was to STRAP A DEAD ALLIGATOR TO THE ROOF OF THEIR CAR like it was a Christmas tree. We said it before and we’ll say it again: Florida is not well, and neither are the people visiting it. We are talking about full‑on Weekend at Bernie’s: Swamp Edition.

Then we head to New York, where a Judge had to dismiss a $100,000 lawsuit because somebody claimed a taqueria’s hot sauce was too spicy. Too spicy. For one hundred thousand American dollars. Let us tell you something: if your tongue is filing legal paperwork, the problem is not the sauce.

Next up, we take a detour to North Carolina, where the Mayor is REFUSING to resign after allegedly showing up to a town hall pantsless. Pants. Less. And we’re supposed to just continue the meeting like this is a normal Tuesday. Sir, if your thighs are out, your term is over.

And finally — because the universe insists on testing us — we ask the question no one wanted answered: would you use cadaver fat for a boob job or a butt lift? Because apparently some people already said yes. We are talking about From Beyond the Grave: The Cosmetic Edition. We didn’t need this information, but now we can’t unknow it.

Strap in, pull up your pants, and grab your emotional support hot sauce. It’s gonna be a ride.

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Okay, sit down, buckle up, and grab your good sense — because this week in stupid did NOT come to play. We are LOADED.

First up, somebody promised the people a Barbie dream experience and delivered a full-on nightmare. Pink was a lie. The glamour was a lie. Honey, even Ken would've asked for a refund.

Then — THEN — a Florida man. Yes, Florida. Again. Let ChatGPT sell his house. Not a realtor. Not a human being with a license and accountability. An AI chatbot. We have questions. We have SO many questions. Starting with: sir, where are you living RIGHT now?

But wait — we're not done, because an arson suspect showed up to a police interview with singed eyebrows. SINGED. EYEBROWS. We cannot stress this enough — if you are suspected of setting a fire, perhaps arrive with your face fully intact. We're just saying.

And finally, two family members got arrested at their own matriarch's funeral for brawling. At the funeral. Of their family member. We don't know what grandma did, but clearly she left some unfinished business — and apparently, so did her people.

This week, stupid came dressed up, showed out, and forgot to think. Let's get into it. 

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Buckle up, babies, because this week the Idiot Parade is long, loud, and carb‑heavy.

We start in California, where a man is accused of stealing Legos and replacing them with… pasta. Yes. Pasta. We are talking elbow macaroni where a Millennium Falcon should be. We don’t know if he thought the cashier was nearsighted or if he just believed in the power of gluten, but we are offended on behalf of every child who has ever stepped on a brick barefoot.

Then we head to Michigan, where a judge caught a woman driving during her Zoom court hearing. Not parked. Not pulled over. Driving. We are sitting there watching her try to explain herself and all we can say is: ma’am, this is a courtroom, not a carpool lane.

Next stop: Florida — of course — where a woman is facing charges after calling 911 from inside a grocery store to report what she believed was an “international breakfast fraud.” We don’t know what that means, but we do know that if you’re calling emergency services over ham, you need to sit quietly with yourself and rethink your choices.

And finally, we land in Oklahoma, where a man is accused of setting multiple grass fires because he “missed being a firefighter.” Sir. There are easier ways to reconnect with your past than committing the exact emergency you want to respond to. Therapy exists. Hobbies exist. Controlled burns supervised by professionals exist. But no — he said, “Let me light up the prairie like it’s a scented candle.”

Join us as we laugh, cry, and ask the eternal question: why are people like this?

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Oh honey… this week the stupid came in HOT, humid, and Florida‑flavored. We kick things off with a hospital in Florida that had to sue a discharged patient because he’s been living in his room like it’s a studio apartment for five. whole. months. Sir, this is not an Airbnb, and Medicare does NOT cover squatting.

Then—because Florida never lets us down—a man with a suspended license was caught driving backwards on the highway… with the same suspended license he’s habitually charged for. That’s not driving, that’s a cry for help and a physics experiment.

Up in Georgia, a woman called 911 to report her “unruly passenger,” only for police to discover she was actually trying to rob said passenger. Ma’am, you cannot call the cops on someone for interrupting your crime.

And finally, Detroit said “hold my bus pass.” Two DDOT employees were caught fondling each other and abandoning their active bus to go get romantic. Nothing says public service like leaving 40 people stranded so you can go make your own transfer.

Strap in, babies—this week’s stupid is bold, messy, and deeply committed to its craft.

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This week in stupid, we are once again reminded that the bar is not low — it is subterranean, and people are still tripping over it.

We kick things off with two Texas women who apparently watched one too many spy movies and decided the best way to smuggle contraband into a federal prison in Louisiana was with… a drone dressed up like a crow. Yes, a crow. Because nothing says “totally normal bird behavior” like carrying cellphones and drugs.

Then we meet a man who called 911 twenty‑nine times because of a fast‑food dispute. Twenty‑nine. At that point, it’s not a dispute — it’s a lifestyle choice.

Next up, James Fishbeck — a far‑right candidate for Governor in Florida — claims he was banned from both Waffle House and IHOP. We’re not saying that tells you everything you need to know, but if both of those establishments tap out on you, baby, you need to sit with yourself.

And finally, we head overseas where a man spent three days stuck in a well because villagers thought his cries for help were ghostly wails. Look — we believe in respecting local traditions, but if someone is yelling “help,” maybe check before assuming it’s Casper.

Join us as we laugh, sigh, and try to hold onto our last nerve while celebrating the resilience of humanity… and the absolute chaos some people insist on bringing to it.

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This week on Idiot of the Week, we are swimming in a deep, chlorinated pool of foolishness, and baby, the lifeguard has gone home.

We kick things off with a Douglass Township bus driver who decided the best time to get behind the wheel—of a bus, with 54 children on it—was after allegedly marinating in DUI sauce. Because nothing says “field trip” like your driver trying to reenact Speed without the speed, the skill, or the sobriety.

Then we glide—motorized shopping cart and all—into a Wal‑Mart where a woman on meth allegedly treated the store like her own personal all‑you‑can‑eat Vegas buffet. Sushi, cinnamon rolls, and wine. On a cart. While rolling. Through Wal‑Mart. We’re not saying it’s a cry for help, but it is definitely a Yelp review waiting to happen.

Next up, a man who called 911 five times in one hour because he needed a ride to his girlfriend’s house. Sir. Sweetheart. Baby. That is not what 911 is for. That is what Uber is for. Or walking. Or rethinking your life choices.

And finally, we close with a 79‑year‑old woman who allegedly got so drunk she decided to punch a cop in the face. At seventy‑nine. At that age, you’re supposed to be punching bingo cards, not law enforcement.

Join us as we honor these brave, bold, breathtakingly misguided individuals who remind us every week that common sense is not only uncommon—it may be extinct. Grab your beverage, grab your patience, and come laugh with us before the world tries to take us down with it.

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This week in stupid, we are taking a deep breath, centering ourselves, and diving headfirst into the shallow end of the gene pool — because apparently that’s where the action is.

First up, we’ve got an LA officer who decided disability leave was the perfect time to go skydiving. Yes, skydiving. Because nothing says “I’m injured” like hurling yourself out of a plane for funsies. We’re not saying the math ain’t mathing… but the math is absolutely not mathing.

Then we head to Pennsylvania, where a man attempted to kill spiders by setting multiple fires, which shockingly resulted in… wait for it… a fire. Homes damaged, spiders unbothered, and one man who clearly needed to sit down and ask himself, “Is this who I want to be in the world?”

Meanwhile, near Atlanta, a child brought a martini to school. A martini. Not a juice box, not a Capri Sun — a full cocktail. And now police are asking parents to double‑check lunchboxes, because apparently we’ve reached the point where kindergarteners are showing up like they’re on their third divorce.

And finally, we wrap up in North Carolina, where a rancher found himself in a showdown with a spinning car wash and a whole lot of fencing wire. But instead of panicking, he brought the kind of calm, joyful energy we wish we could bottle. If only everyone faced disaster with that level of “Welp, guess this is happening.”

Join us as we laugh, sigh, and lovingly roast the week’s finest foolishness — because somebody has to hold the line for common sense, and it might as well be us.

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This week’s Idiot of the Week lineup is so chaotic, so deeply unnecessary, so aggressively Florida that we had to take a moment, breathe deeply, and ask the universe, “Is this a test? Are we being punked? Did Mercury moonwalk into retrograde again?”

We kick things off with a Florida man who allegedly decided that every white car he saw needed a personal hammer consultation. Not red cars, not blue cars—just white ones. Because nothing says “I have a plan” like selective vehicular vengeance.

Then we slide right into the job market, where some applicants are apparently opening their cold emails with the phrase, “my name is in the Epstein files.” We don’t know if this is a bold strategy, a cry for help, or someone misunderstanding what “stand out from the crowd” means, but we are holding them gently in the light while also begging them to stop.

Next up: a Florida inmate who allegedly used an air vent to get pregnant. An air vent. We have questions. Many questions. None of them have answers that will bring us peace.

And finally, a woman accused of using ChatGPT to research her murders. Not her taxes. Not her recipes. Not her resume. Her murders. We are tired. We are concerned. We are laughing because the alternative is screaming into a throw pillow.

Through it all, we bring the compassion, the righteous side‑eye, and the kind of laughter that makes you wonder if you’re okay. (You are. Probably.)

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We are back in the Idiot of the Week saddle, holding hands, breathing deeply, and reminding ourselves that humanity is trying its best… even when the evidence suggests otherwise.

We start with Raising Cane’s, which is suing because the landlord wants to evict them because the building smells like chicken. Yes—the chicken restaurant smells like chicken. We cannot stress enough how much this feels like someone discovering water is wet and immediately calling their lawyer.

Then we head to Colorado, where a man who stole two English Bulldog puppies has been sentenced to eight years in prison. Eight years! We love justice, but we also need to know what those puppies look like because we suspect they could get anyone to commit a misdemeanor.

Next, we take a detour into the world of “documentaries,” where the creators of the film, Melania, allegedly stole an Oscar-nominated score. Not borrowed. Not inspired by. Stole. Because nothing says “authentic storytelling” like swiping someone else’s music and hoping nobody notices.

And finally—because Florida refuses to be outdone—a man tried to smuggle a thermos into jail by placing it in his rectum. A thermos. Not a key. Not a note. Not a tiny object. A thermos. We are sending love, light, and a very firm “no” to everyone involved.

We bring the wit, the compassion, the side‑eye, and the laughter you need to survive a world where people keep making these choices.

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