This week on Idiot of the Week, we ask the only question that matters: who out-stupided whom?

First up, a rogue duck in Florida is accused of terrorizing an entire neighborhood. We don’t know what kind of beef this bird had, but it clearly woke up and chose chaos.

Then, there’s the neighbor who saw a, shall we say, casually dressed father with his own child and thought, “yep, must be kidnapping.” Because nothing says helpful community member like calling 911 on a literal parent doing nothing but parenting.

Next, meet a man who mistook a Bible study group for a human trafficking ring—because apparently intoxication and wild imagination now qualify as investigative journalism. Dateline, but make it drunk.

And let’s not forget the Kentucky classic: a man arrested for releasing a raccoon into a business, just a few months after fleeing police on a mule. That’s right—this is what happens when Jackass meets The Dukes of Hazzard.

Tune in to find out who wins the coveted Idiot of the Week crown. Spoiler alert: humanity loses every time.

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