Alright y’all, buckle up—this week on Idiot of the Week, we’ve got enough foolishness to make a raccoon shake its head in disappointment.

First up: a couple allegedly trying to poison the man’s ex-girlfriends with cyanide. Cyanide. Not a text. Not a petty Instagram comment. Cyanide. 

Then we got some Airbnb guests who decided the best way to enjoy their stay was to allegedly turn their rental into a meth lab. You know how hard it is to clean meth out of throw pillows? That security deposit is GONE.

Next we go to the Galleria mall, where a shoplifter allegedly tried to escape by leaping from the second floor onto the ice rink. Not a fire escape. Not a back door. The ice rink. Sir, what were we going for—Olympic gold in stupidity?

And last but not even close to clever, we got a UK woman allegedly dripping in stolen diamonds, taking selfies like it’s Grand Theft Glamor. Girl. That jewelry wasn’t yours, and neither is that freedom you just lost.

Tune in to see who takes home this week’s crown of clownery on Idiot of the Week. If it’s dumb—we’re on it like white on rice.

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