But For Real

What if we told you that actual scientists are studying ghosts, near-death experiences, and other paranormal phenomena—and publishing their findings in peer-reviewed journals? 👀👻 Before you roll your eyes or start shopping for a spirit box, hear us out.

This week, we're joined by Courtney M. Block, librarian, paranormal researcher, and author of Inside the World's Haunted Libraries and The Encyclopedia of Parapsychology. We're diving into the fascinating world of parapsychology, exploring how to balance scientific skepticism with genuine curiosity, why we shouldn't be so quick to dismiss experiences we can't explain, and what makes libraries such perfectly haunting places. Plus, Courtney shares a seriously spooky personal experience, we contemplate whether it's actually the living doing the haunting, and we get into a little Florence + The Machine-fueled feminine rage. Because obviously.

What You'll Learn:

• 👻 Is paranormal research actually legit? From Victorian séances to scientific studies of ESP and other unexplained phenomena.
• 🔬 Can you be skeptical AND open-minded? How to stay curious without believing everything (or dismissing everything).
• 🧠 Does everything need an explanation? Why honoring strange experiences matters, even when we don't know what caused them.
• 🚗 Can intuition warn us about danger? Courtney shares a chilling personal story involving a strange dream and a near-miss.
• 📚 Why are libraries so freaking haunting? The fascinating connection between ghosts, memory, consciousness, and the spaces we inhabit.

Resources Mentioned:

• Courtney M. Block's books and author page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B08CRKQ6V3
• Connect with Courtney on Instagram
• Inside the World's Haunted Libraries — Courtney M. Block
• The Encyclopedia of Parapsychology — Courtney M. Block
• Researching the Paranormal — Courtney M. Block
• Incidents Around the House by Josh Malerman — Courtney's spooky-season book recommendation
• Kindred Spirits with Amy Bruni and Adam Berry — Courtney's paranormal TV recommendation
• “Everybody Scream” by Florence + The Machine — Courtney's pick for Now That's What I Call… OKAAAAY!
• Valerie's Good News Network article

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected]
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @existentiallyval
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

What if putting a bunch of electrodes on your head could tell us something about your anxiety, attention, or how your brain works? Is this legit neuroscience, or are we about to accidentally join a cult? 🫠

We've all heard the internet wellness gurus telling us to "rewire our brains," but WTF does that actually mean? This week, we're joined by Cory Williams, MS, BCN, qEEG-D, a neurofeedback and brain mapping specialist at Nashville Family Wellness, to separate the actual science from the wellness-industrial-complex nonsense.

We're breaking down what brain mapping can (and can't!) tell us, how neurofeedback works, and whether these approaches can actually help with things like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and trauma. Plus, we're getting into the fascinating possibilities of using brain activity to help guide mental health treatment—and why a fancy brain scan doesn't tell the whole story.

And because we're us, there's also some Kacey Musgraves fangirling, deeply unhinged Nutter Butter marketing, and a healthy dose of nerdiness along the way.

• 09:58 – What qEEG brain mapping actually measures (and what it doesn't).
• 13:33 – How neurofeedback works and what the research says about its effectiveness.
• 21:39 – Why a brain map can't diagnose mental illness on its own.
• 22:20 – Whether brain mapping can help guide mental health treatment and medication decisions.
• 29:50 – How trauma and neuroplasticity relate to brain functioning.
• 39:30 – How to tell whether neurofeedback is actually working—and separate legitimate neuroscience from overhyped wellness claims.

• 🌈✨ Kacey Musgraves’ Official Website
• Deep Questions with Cal Newport
• 🍪🫠 Nutter Butter’s Unhinged Instagram
• 🐉 Robin Hobb’s Farseer Trilogy
• Saving Honeybees from Pesticides

Cory Williams, MS, BCN, qEEG-D — Nashville Child & Family Wellness

Learn more about Cory and his work in qEEG assessment, biofeedback, neurofeedback, and neuromodulation.

Nashville Child & Family Wellness Center website

Nashville Child & Family Wellness Center on IG: @nashvillefamilywellness

• Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected]
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Send us a story for The Lore segment
• Send in a request for advice for our Step Into My Office segment
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

When someone asks what you want and your automatic response is “I don’t care, whatever you want”… even though you absolutely DO care… congrats, babe. We might need to talk about people pleasing. 😬

In this episode, we’re breaking down why so many of us are more comfortable disappointing ourselves than disappointing someone else. We talk about where people-pleasing behaviors come from, how they differ from simply being kind or considerate, and how to start tolerating the discomfort of having needs, saying no, and—gasp—letting someone be disappointed in you.

Because the goal isn’t to stop caring about other people. It’s to remember that you’re one of the people whose feelings matter, too.

What’s in the Episode:

• 00:00 — Welcome + People Pleasing 101
• 01:29 — Tea & Crumpets
• 05:28 — The DSM: People Pleasing, Fawning + Boundaries
• 37:15 — Now That’s What I Call— OKAYY!
• 41:41 — Fire Dumpster Phoenix
• 46:20 — Wrap-Up

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• Chellie Carlson
• Chellie Carlson on Instagram
• The Five-Star Weekend on Peacock
• “Same Drugs” by Chance the Rapper
• “Paper Bag” by Fiona Apple
• Good News Network — Nashville songwriter rescuing foxes with mange
• Good News Network — Hotel staff gives lost stuffed animal the VIP treatment

Connect with Us:

• More about the pod / past episodes: https://gaiacenter.co/podcast
• Watch us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ButForRealPod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2bpcfrAOxJNXTx1cYHV5t8?si=7846bd1d33fb4155
• Send us a story for The Lore segment: https://forms.gle/K1i2XH4NCWSdAPVL6
• Send in a request for advice for our Step Into My Office segment: https://forms.gle/yHiMjMQPyuxtwDun8
• Connect with us on IG: https://instagram.com/butforrealpod
• The Gaia Center on IG: https://instagram.com/thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: https://www.instagram.com/existentiallyval
• The Gaia Center website: https://www.gaiacenter.co/

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

What if you know you’re supposed to touch grass… but you don’t particularly enjoy bugs, dirt, hiking, sweating, or being outside unless it’s approximately 72 degrees with a light breeze? 😌🌿

This week, Val and Em sit down with forest therapy guide (and Emerson's grad school friend/ cohort mate) Georgia Bromehead to talk about what “connecting with nature” actually means when you’re living in a city, glued to a screen, overwhelmed by climate change, or simply not an Outdoors Person™.

And good news: you do not need to buy hiking boots, memorize bird calls, or disappear into the wilderness for three days.

Georgia breaks down forest therapy as a slow, relational practice rather than another wellness task to optimize, including how something as simple as holding a blade of grass, sitting with a houseplant, watching a candle flame, or noticing one tiny piece of the living world around you can help rebuild connection. We also get into eco-anxiety and ecological grief, why despair about the planet is not automatically something to pathologize, and how staying connected to the Earth can actually help us stay engaged rather than shutting down.

Basically: consider this your permission slip to microdose nature.

This episode covers:

• (00:00) Meet Georgia Bromehead — forest therapy, nature connection, and touching grass in the age of AI
• (02:00) Tea & Crumpets — analog habit trackers, archetypes, and Disney World
• (07:00) Step Into My Office — what if you just… don’t like nature?
• (10:00) Microdosing Nature — houseplants, botanical gardens, and starting tiny
• (14:00) What Is Forest Therapy? — forest bathing, sensory awareness, and getting out of your head
• (17:00) Bodies Without Performance — embodiment, agency, and letting your nervous system chill
• (20:00) Eco-Anxiety + Planet Grief — caring deeply without drowning in despair
• (26:00) Nature + Attachment — why trees can offer a surprisingly sturdy kind of support
• (28:00) Start With Your Senses — a low-pressure way to practice presence anywhere
• (31:00) Nature in the Therapy Room — regulation, intuition, and decentering the therapist
• (32:00) ...but for REAL — come to your senses
• (33:00) Now That’s What I Call— OKAYY! — “Let’s Not Shit Ourselves” by Bright Eyes
• (36:00) Dumpster Fire Phoenix — finding agency, community, and some genuinely good news
• (39:00) Rapid Fire Q&A — apps, guilty pleasures, surviving the woods, and Nashville ramen slander

...but for REAL: Eco-anxiety isn’t automatically a sign that something is wrong with you. Sometimes it’s evidence that you are paying attention to something painful and real. The goal isn’t to “fix” your grief, stay hopeful 24/7, or single-handedly recycle your way out of climate collapse. It’s to let yourself feel the heartbreak, rage, beauty, and wonder—and find ways to stay in relationship with the world instead of numbing out from it.

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette: https://jungchicago.org/product/moore-compilation-within-mp3/
• Robert Moore archetypes lectures on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGQCeQzETqo&list=PL879965yJx44OcJaYHi1fO5IZRH7Fie0F
• Gaylord Opryland Resort & Convention Center — indoor gardens and atriums: https://www.marriott.com/en-us/hotels/bnago-gaylord-opryland-resort-and-convention-center/overview/
• Missouri Botanical Garden: https://www.missouribotanicalgarden.org/
• Let's Not Shit Ourselves by Bright Eyes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCxgTf4Iv88
• Now That’s What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2bpcfrAOxJNXTx1cYHV5t8?si=7846bd1d33fb4155

Connect with Georgia:

• Georgia’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forest_therapy_nashville/
• Georgia’s forest therapy offerings/resources: https://foresttherapynashville.com/

BIO

While teaching English in Japan, Georgia marveled at the cultural nature connection and rhythmic living. Inspired, she found the Association of Nature and Forest Therapy (ANFT) website. A new way to connect with nature for adults? She was intrigued.

Moving home to Tennessee, Georgia taught herbal supplement education at a local pharmacy.She listened to customers talk about anxiety, depression, and fatigue — and saw firsthand how disconnected from nature and their own bodies many people felt.

Georgia became the first practicing certified Guide with ANFT in Nashville and has been guiding since 2019.She has given talks and interviews about the healing power of nature connection. She's guided forest bathing internationally and Statewide, and she's been featured on podcasts, local radio, and publications. Georgia loves sharing the research and qualities of nature connection. She is also a Psychotherapist with a Master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.

Connect with Us:

• More about the pod / past episodes: https://gaiacenter.co/podcast
• Watch us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ButForRealPod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2bpcfrAOxJNXTx1cYHV5t8?si=7846bd1d33fb4155
• Send us a story for The Lore segment: https://forms.gle/K1i2XH4NCWSdAPVL6
• Send in a request for advice for our Step Into My Office segment: https://forms.gle/yHiMjMQPyuxtwDun8
• Connect with us on IG: https://instagram.com/butforrealpod
• The Gaia Center on IG: https://instagram.com/thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: https://www.instagram.com/existentiallyval
• The Gaia Center website: https://www.gaiacenter.co/

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (Call 988 in the US), or visit https://www.findahelpline.com/ for international resources.

What if the thing you've written off as a personality flaw your entire life is actually ADHD? And what if the way ADHD gets diagnosed, treated, and talked about has never really accounted for who you are?

This week, Val and Em sit down with Dr. Chanel Thomas, founder, CEO, and clinical director of Blue Sage Wellness — a multi-state psychiatric group practice built specifically to serve communities that mainstream mental health has historically failed. They get into late ADHD diagnosis, medication stigma, what it actually means to practice psychiatry from an anti-oppressive lens, and why "high-functioning" often just means nobody can see how hard you're working to hold it together.

This episode covers:

• (00:00) Tea & Crumpets — Val on Dungeon Crawler Carl; Chanel on One Piece (1,200 episodes and counting); Em becomes a Lego adult
• (05:00) Step Into My Office — 47 productivity apps and still barely functioning: is it ADHD, burnout, or something else?
• (09:00) The DSM — high-functioning on the outside, treading water on the inside
• (13:00) What ADHD actually looks like in adults who've spent their lives masking
• (20:00) Late diagnosis, grief, and what it felt like when Chanel took medication for the first time
• (23:00) Medication stigma, the "will I lose my personality" fear, and what collaborative care looks like
• (28:00) Practicing psychiatry from a decolonized, anti-oppressive lens
• (32:00) "...but for REAL"
• (33:00) Now That's What I Call— OKAYY! — "Served" by XLOV
• (34:00) Dumpster Fire Phoenix + Rapid Fire Q&A

...but for REAL: ADHD doesn't just look like the hyperactive white kid bouncing off the walls. It presents differently in Black and brown, queer, and trans folks — often internalized, masked, and shaped by survival. If that's been your experience, your presentation is just as valid.

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• Blue Sage Wellness — Dr. Chanel's multi-state psychiatric group practice
• XLOV — "Served" — Chanel's song pick
• One Piece — manga and anime series; available on Crunchyroll and Netflix
• Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman — Val's current read
• Teddy the dog rescued from Helvellyn — Good News Network

Connect with Dr. Chanel:

• Blue Sage Wellness
• @chanelpsychnp on IG
• @bluesagewellnesspllc on IG

BIO

Dr. Chanel Thomas is a doctorally prepared, dual board-certified nurse practitioner (FNP/PMHNP) and the founder, CEO, and clinical director of Blue Sage Wellness PLLC, a multi-state psychiatric group practice serving Tennessee, Kentucky, and New York. She built Blue Sage from the ground up with a clear mission: to provide culturally affirming, high-quality psychiatric care to communities historically failed by mainstream mental health systems, including communities of color, the LGBTQ+ community, and neurodivergent individuals.

But Dr. Thomas doesn't stop at the clinical chair. She is also the founder of Aligned & Abundant, a clinician empowerment and conference platform, and the Flourish Collective, a practice incubator and coaching program designed to help licensed clinicians build sustainable, values-aligned practices. She brings a decolonized lens to psychopharmacology, a neurodivergent-affirming approach to care, and a signature style that weaves anime, gaming, and geek culture into clinical work in ways that are as effective as they are unexpected.

Whether she's in the clinical space, on a conference stage, or building the next chapter of her legacy, Dr. Thomas shows up the same way every time: fully, unapologetically, and with purpose.

Connect with Us:

• More about the pod / past episodes
• Watch us on YouTube
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• Send us a story for The Lore segment
• Send in a request for advice for our Step Into My Office segment
• Connect with us on IG: @butforrealpod
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @existentiallyval
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Dr. Jen Le Coguic is a pelvic health physical therapist with over 15 years of experience and the founder of Nashville Pelvic Health — and she's here to talk about the body part most of us are either ignoring, overtightening, or doing Kegels for when we absolutely should not be.

This episode covers way more territory than you'd expect: why bladder leaks, pelvic pain, and constipation are common but not normal, why "just do your Kegels" is actually bad advice for a lot of people, what the pelvic floor has to do with your back pain and your breathing, and why men are even less served by this conversation than women. Val and Em also bring a listener who has memorized the bathroom layout of every movie theater in her city, and they have thoughts.

This episode covers:

(00:00) Tea & Crumpets — Em's analog Sudoku era; Val's proud moment of discernment; Jen on the pelvic floor–nervous system connection and Asheville's dog-friendliness

(05:00) Step Into My Office — a listener who knows every public bathroom in her city asks: when does "annoying" become worth getting help for?

(10:00) The DSM — what the pelvic floor actually does, why "just do your Kegels" is bad advice for a lot of people, and why the medical system keeps siloing symptoms it should be connecting

(17:00) The vFit, breathwork, pregnancy, postpartum, men's pelvic health, and what to expect at your first appointment

(30:00) "...but for REAL"

(31:00) Now That's What I Call— OKAYY! — "Undone" by Weezer

(32:00) Dumpster Fire Phoenix + Rapid Fire Q&A

...but for REAL: These problems are common, but they're not normal. If something is bothering you — even if it's just annoying, even if you haven't had a baby, even if it doesn't feel "serious enough" — reach out to a pelvic floor therapist, do a consult, and get the help that's out there for you.

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• Nashville Pelvic Health — Dr. Jen's clinic
• vFit by Joylux — the red light therapy pelvic device Val spotted at the STIMULATE Conference (#NotSponsored)
• "Undone — The Sweater Song" by Weezer
• @omgitsheidiii — the viral reel about Grandma Carole
• Khruangbin — Jen's other recent musical obsession!

Connect with Dr. Jen:

• Nashville Pelvic Health website
• Jen on IG
• NPH on IG

Connect with Us:

• More about the pod / past episodes
• Watch us on YouTube
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• Send us a story for The Lore segment
• Send in a request for advice for our Step Into My Office segment
• Connect with us on IG: @butforrealpod
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @existentiallyval
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Did you know your brain will ask if it should be doing something else about four seconds into this episode? That's not a joke — that's the real documented average. And honestly, it's kind of the whole point.

In Episode 50, Val and Em go deep on attention — not the "just delete TikTok" version of this conversation, but the real one. The systemic, political, whose-profit-is-this-serving one. Val brings fresh insights from her Attention Activism 101 course with the Strother School of Radical Attention (SoRA), and Em brings a fracking metaphor nobody asked for but everyone needed.

They also get into Em's "less is more" era, Val saying a meaningful goodbye to her grandfather and the existential questions it's cracking open, and a letter from a social media manager who builds lives AND works in the attention economy and is starting to feel like the villain in her own story.

This episode covers:

• (00:00) Tea & Crumpets — Em on "less is more" as a values-based practice; Val on consciousness, death, and the science-meets-woo rabbit hole she's currently in
• (07:00) Step Into My Office — a social media manager asks: is it possible to do this job without becoming this person?
• (13:00) The DSM — Attention Activism: what it is, where it comes from, and why individual willpower was never the answer
• (15:00) Surveillance capitalism, behavioral data, and the fracking metaphor
• (21:00) Spotlight, starlight, and daylight — philosopher James Williams' three-tier framework for what we actually lose
• (25:00) Attentional ecologies, flow state, hyperfocus, and why "good attention" is more complicated than we think
• (30:00) Who owns your attention? (And what does it mean that we pay it?)
• (34:00) Attentional debt — and how it shows up as burnout
• (38:00) What to actually do: dérive, app blockers, microdosing quiet, and the SOS framework
• (43:00) "...but for REAL" — the mic drop moment
• (45:00) Now That's What I Call— OKAYY! — music segment
• (49:00) Dumpster Fire Phoenix — SoRA's growing momentum + Val's Kindle era

...but for REAL: Losing your focus in a world that is literally engineered to fragment it is not a personal failing. It is the business model. Attention was never supposed to be this hard to fight for on your own — so remember that you don't have to.

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode

• Strother School of Radical Attention (SoRA) — the Brooklyn-based nonprofit behind the Attention Activism movement; Attention Activism 101 & 201 courses (please verify URL before publishing)
• The Attensity Manifesto — the movement's foundational text (please verify URL before publishing)
• Opal — app blocker Val and Em recommend
• ScreenZen — app blocker
• Jomo — app blocker (Val's current go-to)
• Brick — physical app-blocking device (please verify URL before publishing)
• Shoshana Zuboff, The Age of Surveillance Capitalism — the book behind the surveillance capitalism framework Em references
• James Williams, Stand Out of Our Light — spotlight/starlight/daylight framework
• Natasha Dow Schüll, Addiction by Design — the casino/slot machine research
• Donnie Darko (2001) — where Gary Jules' "Mad World" first appeared; highly recommended if you haven't seen it
• "Reign Me In" — Sam Fender ft. Olivia Dean — Em's song pick (please add Spotify link)
• "Mad World" — Gary Jules — Val's song pick (please add Spotify link)

Connect with Us:

• More about the pod / past episodes
• Watch us on YouTube
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• Send us a story for The Lore segment
• Send in a request for advice for our Step Into My Office segment
• Connect with us on IG: @butforrealpod
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @existentiallyval
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Rachel Welty is a Nashville-based family and juvenile law attorney and the founder of Welty Law Office, where she has spent nearly 20 years doing things differently. Named to the Tennessee Mid-South Super Lawyers list and a Tennessee Rule 31 Listed Mediator, Rachel takes a child advocacy-centered approach to family law — because she genuinely believes that when kids' needs come first, parents do better too.

She works with clients navigating divorce, child custody, support, orders of protection, adoption, DCS involvement, and LGBTQIA+ family law issues, and she's known for bringing a trauma-informed lens to a legal system that often doesn't have one. She's also a single working mom, which means she brings both professional expertise and hard-won personal experience to everything she does.

This episode covers:

• (00:00) Tea & Crumpets — Val on The Telepathy Tapes, Rachel on the NHL playoffs and emotional men, Em on her poolside ADHD hack
• (05:00) The Lore — Rachel on military spouse life, her husband's deployment to Afghanistan, and what losing a house in divorce taught her about herself
• (08:30) The DSM — trauma-informed lawyering, what the legal process gets wrong, and how Rachel helps clients stay out of their fear brain
• (12:00) High-conflict vs. healthy divorce — what it costs kids, and what most family attorneys miss
• (16:00) The biggest misconception people bring into divorce court
• (20:00) Discernment counseling, mediation, and the couples who pause their divorce and come back changed
• (27:00) What LGBTQIA+ couples need to know right now to protect their legal rights
• (32:00) Why therapists and family attorneys should be talking to each other
• (34:00) "...but for REAL" - the mic drop moment
• (36:00) Now That's What I Call— OKAYYY! - music segment!
• (37:00) Dumpster Fire Phoenix — Dolly Parton wisdom and Em's birthday era
• (41:00) Rapid Fire Q&A

...but for REAL: Stay in the here and now. If you're in the middle of a divorce, a custody battle, or any kind of legal storm — the what-ifs will eat you alive. Empower yourself with information, find people you trust, and take it one step at a time.

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode

• Welty Law Office — Rachel's Nashville family and juvenile law practice
• The Telepathy Tapes — Val's Tea & Crumpets rec: the podcast about nonverbal autistic individuals and telepathic communication
• Discernment Counseling — the protocol Val references for couples where one partner is leaning out of the marriage
• Little Beautiful Things by Maggie Smith — Rachel's most-recommended book, a memoir about divorce and moving forward (note: confirm exact title before publishing — Rachel mentioned it as "Little Beautiful Things" but the published title is You Could Make This Place Beautiful)
• "Open Up Your Eyes" by Tonic — Rachel's song pick for Now That's What I Call— OKAYY!
• Answer Nashville — Rachel's go-to Nashville dinner spot
• Nashville Conflict Resolution Center — one of the nonprofits Rachel volunteers with

Connect with Rachel:

• Welty Law Office website
• Instagram: @weltylaw
• Facebook: Welty Law Office

Connect with Us:

• More about the pod / past episodes
• Watch us on YouTube
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• Send us a story for The Lore segment
• Send in a request for advice for our Step Into My Office segment
• Connect with us on IG: @butforrealpod
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @existentiallyval
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Ashley Hampton is a licensed therapist, certified clinical supervisor, adjunct professor at Vanderbilt University, and the co-founder of two organizations doing quietly revolutionary work in Tennessee. As co-founder and clinical director of Hampton House Counseling, she's built one of Nashville's first BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ centered group therapy practices from the ground up — with diversity not as an afterthought, but as its foundation.

As co-founder and executive director of Healing in the Margins, she's created a nonprofit that addresses the therapy access gap for Black, brown, and queer communities through clinician training, a therapy fund, community partnerships, and more. In three years, Healing in the Margins has funded over $80,000 in therapy across the state of Tennessee. Ashley is a bold, grounded, and genuinely funny human being doing work that this state desperately needs.

This episode covers:

• (00:00) Tea & Crumpets — Em on Wayward (spooky, queer-coded, Stranger Things-ish vibes), Ashley on Married at First Sight season that apparently went feral, and Val doing show and tell with her new Gaian Tarot deck by Joanna Powell Colbert
• (10:00) Step Into My Office — a listener is out to their parents and friends but not their aging grandmother, and the Pride Month pressure to finally do it is real. Ashley drops an immediate mic: What is it you actually want? To be known, or to check a box?
• (20:00) The DSM — Ashley on how she built Hampton House and Healing in the Margins, why every space she's created is one she didn't have herself, and what it took to learn to serve her own communities without a roadmap
• (28:00) What "safe and affirming" actually means in practice versus what it looks like on an Instagram grid — and why humility has to precede safety
• (35:00) How Healing in the Margins works: the therapy fund, clinician trainings, community partnerships, and why it's working in Tennessee specifically because Ashley has been here her whole life
• (43:00) The joy, comradery, and community that exists in Black and queer spaces — and what gets lost when we only talk about the struggle
• (48:00) On being a first and an only: the vulnerability of leading openly, constantly having to prove yourself, and why not caring what people think has been her greatest professional asset
• (54:00) "...but for REAL" — from Ashley and Em: if you're Black, brown, or queer and living in the South, there are options for you now. Go look at Healing in the Margins.
• (56:00) Now That's What I Call— OKAYY! — Ashley's pick: "Notice" by Lola Young, and why she's in a season of being seen
• (60:00) Fire Dumpster Phoenix — Em on swimming as survival, Ashley on a Mother's Day letter from a Healing in the Margins recipient, and Val on two apps that help people help animals in emergencies
• (66:00) Rapid Fire Q&A — Oprah for dinner, a very Pride Month-appropriate tradition, and Ashley's four-year-old daughter who, when asked if she'd consider therapy, said "fuck no" and honestly same

...but for REAL: If you're Black, brown, or queer and you've spent your whole life thinking there's no space in mental health for someone like you — there is one now. And you deserve more care and support than you've probably even let yourself imagine. Go find it. And to everyone else: ask how you can help, then actually wait for the answer.

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode

• Hampton House Counseling — Ashley's BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ centered therapy practice in Nashville
• Healing in the Margins — Ashley's nonprofit funding therapy access and clinician training for Black, brown, and queer communities across Tennessee
• Wayward — Em's Pride Month watch rec (troubled teen industry meets mind control, queer rep, eight episodes)
• Married at First Sight — Ashley's reality TV guilty pleasure
• Gaian Tarot: Healing the Earth, Healing Ourselves by Joanna Powell Colbert — Val's show and tell
• "Notice" by Lola Young — Ashley's song pick for Now That's What I Call— OKAYY!
• "All I Do Is Win" by DJ Khaled — Ashley's walk-on-stage song
• Animal Help Now app — Val's Fire Dumpster Phoenix: free nationwide wildlife emergency app connecting people to local rehabilitators, vets, and resources
• Pet Help and Rescue app — companion app to help neighbors evacuate pets during disasters or emergencies
• Even the Rat Was White by Robert Guthrie — the psychology research history book Val references on who has and hasn't been centered in the field

Connect with Us:

• Ashley & Healing in the Margins on IG
• Healing in the Margins nonprofit
• Hampton House Counseling
• More about the pod / past episodes
• Watch us on YouTube
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• Send us a story for The Lore segment
• Send in a request for advice for our Step Into My Office segment
• Connect with us on IG: @butforrealpod
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @existentiallyval
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Allie Phillips is a working mom of two, a Tennessee native, and a first-time political candidate turned relentless advocate. After being denied lifesaving reproductive care under Tennessee's abortion ban following a devastating diagnosis at her 20-week anatomy scan, Allie was forced to leave the state to terminate a pregnancy her doctors confirmed was not compatible with life. She documented her experience publicly in real time — and the response changed everything.

Allie went on to co-file a landmark lawsuit against the state of Tennessee with the Center for Reproductive Rights, challenging the narrow scope of the state's medical exceptions. She's now running for Tennessee House District 75 to fight for working families, public schools, healthcare access, and the kind of leadership that actually gives a damn.

This episode covers:

• 00:00 - Introductions + Tea & Crumpets
• 06:04 - Allie's story and the insane battle for reproductive rights
• 21:54 - Finding Purpose in Loss
• 29:42 - Challenges in Education and Advocacy
• 35:01 - Affordable Housing and Childcare Crisis
• 43:25 - Introduction to Political Identity
• 51:14 - The Impact of Patriarchy and Social Interactions

...but for REAL: Why aren't y'all voting?! Montgomery County had a 6% turnout in the last primary. 6%. Your vote matters more at the local level than almost anywhere else — these are the people deciding your schools, your roads, your healthcare, and your judges. August 6th and November 3rd. Get there.

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode

• Allie Phillips for Tennessee House District 75
• Center for Reproductive Rights — the organization behind Allie's lawsuit against the state of Tennessee
• Zurawski v. Texas — the similar Texas case Allie references
• Paradise on Hulu (Val's rec)
• Euphoria on Max (Allie's rec)
• Pura Smart Home Diffuser (Em's birthday gift obsession)
• "The Man" by Taylor Swift — Allie's campaign anthem
• Tennessee's Abortion Ban — SB 1257 — the trigger ban referenced throughout
• Nashville Star commuter rail — the model Allie references for a Clarksville-Nashville rail
• KHS America Musical Petting Zoo at CMA Fest (Em's Fire Dumpster Phoenix pick)
• Nashville Zoo Night Owl Program — where Allie's daughter's Girl Scout troop spent the weekend

Connect with Allie Phillips:

• Allie's campaign website
• @allie4tn on IG

Connect with Us:

• More about the pod / past episodes
• Watch us on YouTube
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• Send us a story for The Lore segment
• Send in a request for advice for our Step Into My Office segment
• Connect with us on IG: @butforrealpod
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @existentiallyval
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.