But Not All At Once

You know that friend who tells you what you need to hear? The one who has a totally different perspective and can speak the truth with love? Working mom of three Emily Scurry is that friend to me.

After a recent pep talk where she encouraged me to look a hard situation in the face - and thereby turned my month around - I knew we had to record one of our work-week lunchtime chats. And here it is! Consider this your official invitation to eavesdrop. 

We walk through what we wish we'd known in our first jobs about fear, empathy, working moms and more. We talk about juggling work, motherhood, self-care, extracurriculars, family traditions, societal expectations and our own priorities.

About how we can't always be at the preschool Thanksgiving luncheon where your toddler refuses to eat mashed potatoes while looking adorable in a tiny pilgrim hat. About how we can instill security in our children while teaching them that sometimes life will bring disappointments. 

About why there should be TWO sets of Mother's Days and Father's Days (this one may get me into some trouble). About learning to admit we're turning off our phones and not checking work emails for the night, or leaving early to take a child to the dentist. About being brave as we advocate for ourselves, negotiate for raises, articulate what we need and ask the neighbors over for post-kiddie-bedtime wine and socializing.

Whatever your age, parenting or work status, you'll walk away from this episode with a fresh set of eyes for your circumstances. Learn to cut yourself a little extra slack and throw grace around like confetti - especially in your own direction. 

Listen in on lunch with my friend, then find us at @butnotallatonce to let us know your favorite takeaways!

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

After learning her toddler had metachromatic leukodystrophy, April Robson made it her mission to find joy, purpose and beauty in the everyday moments with her family.

In the second half of April's story, she shares how we can care for friends who are facing a painful season, what it means to be grateful, what we should (and should NOT) say to families who are hurting, and how her life has changed in the year since she first heard the letters "MLD."

Whether it's a random text (prefaced with "no need to respond!"), a box of Charmin, a coffee dropped on the front porch or a bit of yard work, you'll leave with some clear directives for how you can "just do something" for ones you love in a time of need.

April's joy is contagious, and the love she has for her husband and three children is evident in everything she does; no diagnosis could change that. 

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

April Robson had a picture-perfect family: a husband who once saved her in his phone as "April Hot Girl," two beautiful daughters, a son on the way and a loving community of (in-person and online) friends. Then she learned her two-year-old had metachromatic leukodystrophy, a rare, degenerative, terminal disorder that had a one in four chance of affecting Charlotte's newborn brother as well.

With her trademark joy and honesty, April walks through her most heartbreaking and hectic season, marveling at how a person can continue to function even when her life is unrecognizable. 

Learn about how a tenacious pregnant mother disguised as a Mary Poppins-esque powder puff pushed to get answers for what was happening to her child. Hear the earliest signs of MLD, the strangest prayer April has ever prayed, and the happiness that can be found even in a hospital room.

The rest of April's story will go live next week, when we'll learn what it means to be supported in every sense by the people who care about you - whether you've met them in real life or not. 

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Few people could understand why Brittney Bolt, a married mother of two, would volunteer to carry babies for a couple she'd never met. Last week we heard the first part of her gestational surrogacy story, and today we learn how her "hitchhiker babies" made their way into the world.  

The life-giving, baby-growing "adventure" Brittney anticipated ended up being a complicated one. From preterm labor scares, magnesium and bed rest to delivery, diastasis recti and reconstructive surgery, there were more bumps in the road than the Bolts saw coming. 

The intended parents of the boy-girl twins Brittney carried live in New York and made it to South Carolina just in the nick of time on delivery day. Learn what reminded her of "Duck Hunt" as thee babies were born and how she feels about the possibility of being a surrogate again one day. 

Did you send in a question for Brittney on Instagram via @butnotallatonce? We may have answered yours in today's episode!

Find Brittney at @brittbolt on Instagram or explore her YouTube channel at tinyurl.com/britt786, where you'll find an FAQ video and vlog posts from throughout her year-long surrogacy journey. 

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Few people could understand why Brittney Bolt, a married mother of two, would volunteer to carry twin babies for a couple she'd never met.

Describing her as magnanimous or selfless only makes Brittney cringe; she thinks of her two transfers, one D&C, time on bed rest, twin delivery, month of pumping, and post partum reconstructive surgery as an "adventure" she felt called to take. 

In part one, hear about when Brittney knew she'd want to become a gestational surrogate (hint: I was more concerned with Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers and Ross and Rachel's break-up at that age), how she told her college boyfriend, and what made the conversation change once they married and became parents. 

Walk through the legalities of surrogacy; finding an agency; grappling with the mixed opinions of family and friends; matching with intended parents; the infertility struggles many IPs have faced; the challenges of parenting while pregnant with someone else's child; and starting a pregnancy as virtual strangers before becoming close (if long-distance) friends facing loss and new life together. 

Learn more next week as Brittney's twin "hitchhiker babies" are delivered and make their way home from South Carolina to New York.

To see the surrogate being introduced to a surprised family in front of a waterfall, the video Brittney mentions, visit tinyurl.com/waterfallyoutube.

See all of Brittney’s surrogacy journey videos on her YouTube channel at tinyurl.com/britt786.

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

You may recognize Greer Howard as the in-house reporter for the Atlanta Braves or the face of any number of brands, but there's a lot more to her than a Jumbotron can show you. 

Greer is a former military wife whose story includes a long-distance marriage, restarting a career in entertainment after cross-country moves, building a healthy co-parenting relationship with her ex-husband, raising a five-year-old while carving out a career that doesn't stick to bankers' hours, and creating opportunities for others along the way. 

Whether you are looking for encouragement as you face divorce and co-parenting, wondering how to seize every career opportunity you can, reconciling the dreams of your early twenties with the reality of adulthood, or feeling stuck in your chapter of life, Greer's words are for you.

This year she has committed to being present, grateful and hard-working. No matter what you're facing, she says, "it's never over." Sometimes you just need to pivot. 

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

You can't spell "mayhem" without May, and everyone you know is up to their eyeballs in commitments. 

Ready to make some room on your over-filled plate? Here are a few things you can say no to sans guilt. 

Once you've said no where you can, "just check the box" on everything else. Aim for adequate; there's no need to earn a gold medal in everything you touch.

Sometimes we just need to survive and advance, and May is one of those times. 

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Have you ever rushed to un-tag a photo of yourself, then spent ages pinching, zooming and dissecting it from every angle? Do you wince or stare when you walk past a mirror? Make jokes about your size, shape or how very different you look than your favorite Instagram personality? Feel pressure to Photoshop every "flaw" before you post something? Wish you could walk around with a Snapchat filter in front of your actual body? 

This pep talk is for you. (And also for me. Ok, mostly for me.) 

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

Holistic health coach Brady Godfrey thinks you're stressed enough; you don't need to let nutrition or wellness be add to your worries.

Hear from an expert about how lowering your expectations, removing judgment, listening to your body, putting on "ear muffs" and tuning out Instagram could make all the difference in looking and feeling your best.

Learn her shortcuts for easy school lunches, sneaking produce into your kids' diets (without sneaking it in at all), getting the men in your life on board, making changes without taking away your favorite foods, enjoying treats and the power of a fresh start.

Brady's breezy, judgement-free attitude toward food, parenting, life choices and everything in between will inspire you to take a new approach. (Spoiler alert: It probably won't involve wheat grass.)

Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love to hear from you at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or via ButNotAllAtOnce.com.