Last week I wrote about not getting tired of doing the right things. If you ever end up getting married, what you do in the meantime makes all the difference in what kind of marriage you’ll have. But, what if “in the meantime” turns into for a lifetime? What if you never get married? Can there still be a happily ever after without a marriage?

Marriage ≠ Happiness

First off, I have to tell you that getting married doesn’t necessarily insure happiness. Even though the majority of marriages are good and loving, there is no guarantee. This is especially true of second or third marriages.

Without some personal growth and a change in perspective, people tend to either make the exact same mistake again, make the exact opposite mistake, or find some clever new way to mess up. That’s why, on this blog, I put a lot of emphasis on personal growth, purity, and, dating differently than you did before.

Also, single people tend to build up their expectations for marriage to a point where they’re almost certain to be disappointed. Don’t expect someone to come in and rescue you from your loneliness, financial troubles, or general existential angst. People tend to carry those things with them into marriage. In fact, a lot of the time you end up with two broken, needy people, each one counting on the other one to make their life better.

Related Post: Three Things Marriage Can and Cannot Do For You

Here again, that’s why I write so much about growing as a person and getting yourself into position to meet a spouse. Thriving as a single comes first.

All that being said, I’m not disparaging marriage. Those of you who read this blog regularly know that after a protracted second singleness I remarried and it’s awesome. But, my wife and I both did a lot of work on ourselves in our single years to give us a good shot at a great marriage. Thriving as a single came first.

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Related Post: Married Again | Why I Went From Thriving Single to Marrying Again

Singleness ≠ Unhappiness

Yeah, but what if I never get married?

Okay, what if you never get married? What if you stay single for the rest of your life? What then?

Life as a single in no way means a life that is unfulfilling, lonely, or without meaning and purpose. If you never get married, life will still be good. It will be whatever you make of it.

Single people still have dreams, goals, ambitions, friends, family, talents, social lives, jobs, hobbies, adventures to experience, and interests to explore. Life is still rich and vibrant and meaningful.

You are free to strike out in whatever direction you see fit. Make your life an adventure. There are things in this life for you to accomplish. You’re Creator still has a purpose for your life. Seek God’s direction, then pour your energy into the things that are burning in your heart.

Related Post: Singleness = Freedom

The Key: Personal Growth

The key to thriving as a single person or to becoming happily married is the same – personal growth.