But Where Are You Really From?: An Asian-American Struggle

"No, but what's your REAL name?!"

Have you ever been asked that question by someone who didn't believe your English name was your "real" name because you're Asian? We have! 

This week we discuss what it was like growing up with both English and Chinese names, what our Chinese names are and what they mean, the process our parents went through of choosing them back in the motherland with the help of fortune tellers, and how relatively little thought went into our English name selections, conversely lol.

What's in a name, anyway??

No, neither of your podcast hosts is imminently about to have a baby!

...but, as we get older and move into different stages of life (i.e., getting married, friends having kids), it's certainly something we're thinking about. 

With that said, we have vastly different opinions on if we will have kids and for what reasons. Listen in as we discuss our different perspectives on the matter, as well as the various pressures we do or don't have to face (i.e., biological clock, continuing family legacy, parents getting older, etc.), how those are different coming from a straight vs. LGBTQ perspective, challenges that are often unspoken about in the "having kids" process whether that's via natural birth, adoption, IVF, surrogacy, or other... and a whole lot more!

Write us in with your opinion on the subject, or if you have a particular experience you want to share with our audience about your journey with having kids, wherever you are on that timeline and spectrum! Email us at [email protected]

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*Podcasters' Note: A listener has brought to our attention that some of our remarks around adoption may have come off as insensitive to adoptees and their experience. This was certainly not our intent, and we will take time to educate ourselves more about the adoptee experience so that we can be more inclusive and sensitive towards these different stakeholders and perspectives in the future, especially given the number of Asian-American adoptees in the US (1 in 10 Koreans). If you're interested in learning more about the adoptee experience, you can check out the links below. We're grateful to the listener who brought this to our attention and shared these resources!

Can you turn a job as a model into a career across many industries and nonprofits?

In this episode, we are joined by Pritika Swarup who has done exactly that! Pritika is an international fashion model, Founder/CEO of Prakti Beauty, and global ambassador for Operation Smile.

We kick off the discussion by asking Pritika about her experience in fashion, and how being a visible minority in the industry has inspired others who ⁣have seen her in the limelight. We also discuss how she took her experiences in fashion and her upbringing as an Indian-American and funneled that into creating her own modern Ayurvedic beauty brand, Prakti Beauty, to bring Indian beauty to the masses. 

We close the episode by talking about all things Operation Smile. Pritika walks us through how she became involved with the non-profit organization that helps children rediscover their smiles, and how Operation Smile empowers even high school students to make a difference. She discusses the various missions she's been on with the organization and how rewarding it's been to see the positive impact being made to uplift communities all across the world.

Raise your hand if you had to learn how to date virtually via Zoom/FaceTime because of the pandemic!

In this episode, we interrogate... err, interview... Angela's good friend Michael about what his experience was like dating over Zoom during the height of the pandemic, and how that compared with "real" (IRL) dating. We can all imagine the drawbacks that virtual dating can create, but tune in to hear some surprisingly positive outcomes Michael got out of being forced to date in this strange new manner!

If you wait til the end, you'll also get to hear him recount his most standout/horrible Zoom date. Trust us, it's hilarious and worth it!

P.S. If you're based in the LA area and think Michael is cute based on his voice (or if you watched the video episode on YouTube), he is still single so hit us up if you're looking for a Zoom date ;)

What do we find when we quiet the mind and look inside ourselves?   

With so much hustle and bustle on the daily, it's hard to take time and really listen to our inner selves. But once you do get in touch with your inner thoughts and feelings, what do you do? Co-host Angela returns from a ten-day silent meditation retreat to help answer this question.   

What does a silent meditation retreat even entail?   

In this episode, we interview Angela on her silent meditation journey (specifically, through the "Vipassana" meditation practice). From what the retreat grounds were like to the experience of complete silence and observing the self, we dig into how silent meditation helps to calm and control the mind. We unpack the different ways that silent meditation tempers our reactions to certain emotions and sensations, helping us to better respond to stressful or difficult situations.

Let it s-NO, let it s-NO, let it s-NO! The holidays are here but cheer is somewhat missing! 

The holiday season has always been a mixed bag for us. There's so much being thrown at you about how to feel, what you should be doing, and the enjoyment you should be having. The reality is that many people might not be feeling the holiday glow. And feeling apart from that can make the season's greetings more of a  "f*ck you" than "happy holidays."

So why do the holidays exert such an emotional pull on us?

In this episode, we explore why the holidays can make us feel lonely and othered. We take a look at how we've spent holidays traditionally and compare it to how we're told the holiday experience should be. While we discuss the darker side of the holidays, we also unpack how our own desires and reactions feed into the negativity the holidays can sometimes bring. 

Have you ever tried special K? And no, we're not talking about the cereal!   

Growing up, we've been told in many ways that drugs are inherently dangerous and harmful. But having experienced some substances first hand, we've come to the conclusion that some drugs can actually be beneficial. Some can help you deal with trauma, while others can just add more fun to your weekend.   

So why are all drugs so maligned?   

In this episode, we explore why we think drugs have such a bad rap. We evaluate our own experiences with substances, and we also discuss inequity in access and possession of substances that have healing potential. As we explore what a positive and nurturing relationship with certain drugs might look like, we also discuss ways that previously taboo substances might find a healthy purpose in the current society.   

Disclaimer: we're well aware that not all drugs are good, and we spend time discussing ones that have been detrimental to society and have added fuel to the fire in the ongoing war against drugs.

How risk-seeking vs. risk-averse are you? 

As we've gotten older, we've generally trended towards being more risk-averse, being scared or unwilling to put in the effort to try new things. However, after respectively going through our mid-life crises within the past few years, we've been rejuvenated and inspired to take on new risks to change course in our lives.

For example, did you know that Angela quit her job and is making this podcast her full-time gig?! 

In this episode, we speculate about why it's so hard for people (including us) to want to try new things, what we felt was lacking in the way we were brought up (both by our parents and society) that contributed to this lack of risk-taking, and what new things we are trying ourselves imminently. 

We know, we know, we're late in discussing Squid Game... but we still think it's a worthwhile topic to discuss because of all the different levels of influence the show has had on making "foreign" content mainstream for a global audience.

We speculate on why we think it was such a runaway success and why it resonated with so many people across all different global/cultural backgrounds despite similarities with existing other shows/movies (i.e., Alice in Borderland, Hunger Games, Hostel), the hotties in the show and their impact on elevating Asian men's attractiveness in the eyes of non-Asian viewers, the ways the show broke stereotypes or the presiding societal narrative, and much more. 

If you're still shaking trying to carve out the shape in your dalgona candy, strap yourself in and join us in this conversation on Squid Game and the (hopefully) positive impact it'll continue to have on Asian and multi-lingual/multi-cultural content in the future!

Happy Thanksgiving weekend to all of our US-based friends!