But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems

But Why Are Women Falling Down the Rabbit Hole? | Part 3: Shame, Identity & The Exit From the Alt-Right Pipeline


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In the final episode of our alt-right pipeline series, we explore what happens after the soft aesthetics and curated control stop working. Kristin and Laura dig into the messy, often shame-filled reality of trying to leave a system that promised empowerment and control, but in reality, delivers performance, exhaustion, obedience, and even harm.

We unpack:

  • Why leaving can feel like an identity collapse

  • The shame, grief, and cognitive dissonance that keep people stuck

  • How privilege, power, and proximity to safety work in subtle ways

  • The psychological withdrawal of leaving a “safe” space 

  • Why wellness aesthetics, obedience, and beauty are never neutral

  • How to rebuild after complicity, and what real empowerment looks like

    This episode is about the exit phase and the fear, backlash, and even shame that comes with it. Because leaving is hard, but staying silent costs more.

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    But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systemsBy Dr. Kristin & Dr. Laura