Sometimes it's the spoon scraping the bowl. Or the tag on your shirt. Or the wind in your ears. And suddenly...it's all too much.

In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack the messy, invisible world of sensory stress and how it shapes daily life for many people (often neurodivergent). From autistic shutdowns to ADHD overstimulation, they explore why modern environments are hostile to our nervous systems, and what it means to live in a world not built for your brain.

They dig into:
• What sensory stress really is, and why it's not “just being sensitive”
• The difference between ADHD and autistic sensory experiences
• Guilt, shame & why masking becomes a survival tool
• Why seemingly small things can lead to big crashes
• How to recognise, respect, and respond to sensory needs in yourself and others

This is a call to stop pathologising sensory needs, start redesigning our environments, and finally ask: what if the world is just too loud and we weren’t meant to tolerate it?

What do silverback gorillas, burnout, and barstool bravado have in common? More than you think.

In this brilliantly bizarre episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by psychologist and burnout researcher Dr. Pete Olusoga to unpack why 100 men vs 1 gorilla became a cultural obsession — and what it reveals about masculinity, performance, and emotional repression.

Together, they unpack:
• The “alpha male” myth and its viral appeal
• Why masculinity feels performative, fragile, and exhausting
• The psychology of burnout and who it’s selling out
• What TikTok fitness bros and Jordan Peterson have in common
• Why being “a real man” might just burn you out

From the manosphere to the therapist’s couch, this is a wild ride through memes, masculinity, and what it really means to be resilient.

Spoiler: You don’t need to fight a gorilla to prove your worth.

Pete's Details:

Insta: @dr_pete_olusoga / @eightypercentmental

TikTok: @dr_pete_olusoga

Web: www.eightypercentmental.com

But Why Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod 

From sleep scores to step counts, even our joy is being tracked. But who is all this “self-improvement” really for?

In this episode, Kristin and Laura ask what happens when being human stops being the goal and starts being a problem to fix. They unpack the rise of over-optimization, how capitalism convinced us we’re machines, and why even therapy isn’t safe from performance culture. Together, they explore:
• The history of optimization — from factory floors to Fitbits
• Why rest, joy, and creativity feel “unproductive”
• How wellness culture became capitalism in disguise
• Why therapy doesn’t work when it mimics the systems we’re trying to survive
• How to reclaim unoptimized joy, boredom, and being for the sake of being

This is a call to step off the treadmill, turn off the tracker, and return to what makes us human. Even if it’s messy. Especially because it’s messy.

Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

 From “not all men” to “I was just joking,” defensiveness is everywhere. But what’s really going on underneath?

In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack the psychology of defensiveness - how it protects us, how it shows up in everyday interactions, and how it connects to deeper systems of power. With stories about awkward meetings, parenting, and fragile masculinity, they explore:
• Why our brains go into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn
• The difference between guilt and shame (and why it matters)
• How whiteness, masculinity, and identity get tangled in pushback
• Why vulnerability is framed as weakness, and who benefits
• What defensiveness looks like in relationships, work, and culture

This is a compassionate but clear-eyed conversation about why being wrong feels so threatening — and what’s possible when we pause, get curious, and choose accountability instead.

Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod 

 In this special guest episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by Oliver Niehaus to explore why so many men and boys are being pulled into the Manosphere.

From red pill influencers to anti-intellectual rants and fragile masculinity, we unpack:
• Why the manosphere sells grievance disguised as growth
• How patriarchy harms men — and why they struggle to admit it
• The role of loneliness, algorithms, and masculinity myths
• The difference between accountability and shame
• How fear of women’s power fuels cultural backlash

With personal stories, critical insight, and plenty of systemic analysis, this episode dives deep into what happens when culture tells men they’re owed something — and robs them of connection instead.
Spoiler: they’re being sold a lie. And it’s costing everyone.

You can find Oliver on Youtube @oliverniehaus, Instagram @olivermniehaus, and TikTok @oliver.niehaus

As always, head to our linktree for the podcast and Kristin and Laura's socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

In this thought-provoking episode, Kristin and Laura ask why women’s joy so often gets dismissed as “basic.” From Taylor Swift fandoms to fantasy novels, they unpack the deep psychological roots of how gendered taste is constructed—and why we feel guilty for what we love.

They dive into:
• Why "guilty pleasures" are a feminist issue
• The Enlightenment origins of the gender binary
• How cultural legitimacy is shaped by patriarchy
• The impact of internalized misogyny on hobbies and identity
• Personal stories of navigating shame, taste, and authenticity

This episode is a celebration of reclaiming joy, challenging cultural scripts, and asking: what if liking what we like was radical?

In this episode, Kristin and Laura take a psychological deep dive into Netflix’s Adolescence, a gripping series that explores how one teenage boy ends up committing an unthinkable act. But instead of focusing on who did it, the show—and this conversation—asks why.

Together, we explore:

• What incel culture is and how boys are drawn into it

• The role of social media, masculinity myths, and loneliness

• How families and schools can better support emotional growth

• Why girls' safety is still treated as secondary

• The emotional toll of being unheard—for everyone

This episode is about more than one story. It’s about the cultural conditions we’ve created—and the conversations we still need to have.

Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

From Yorkie bars to Olympic podiums, women in sport have always faced more than just the competition. In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore how sport has been systematically shaped to exclude women — and how this exclusion is still happening today.

From overt bans in the 20th century to TikTok trolls and pay gaps in 2025, we unpack:

• Why women were banned from football and basketball for decades

• How media growth aligned with shutting women out of sport

• The myth of “no one watches women’s sport” — and why it's wrong

• Why misogyny thrives in comment sections and boardrooms alike

• What it means to play, coach, and exist in systems never built for you This is a call to name the backlash for what it is — and to keep showing up anyway.

Because every time women step onto the field, they’re doing more than playing. They’re refusing to disappear.

Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

From bicycles to boardrooms, women’s progress has always triggered backlash.

In this episode, Kristin and Laura trace a powerful throughline across 140 years of history — showing how each leap forward for women has been met with a push to drag them back.

We unpack:

• Why “bicycle face” was invented to stop women riding freely

• How 1950s housewives were drugged into compliance

• The flapper, the feminist, and the fear of female autonomy

• How sport, beauty, and motherhood became tools of control

• The resurgence of incel culture and tradwives in today’s algorithmic patriarchy

From hysterical diagnoses to TikTok misogyny, this episode asks: What are they really so afraid of? And why does our joy, our freedom, and our power keep becoming the battleground? 

Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

Is it burnout, is it capitalism, or are you just lazy? (Spoiler: it’s not the last one.)

In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack what motivation actually is — and why we keep expecting ourselves to push through exhaustion like it’s a personal failure. Guided by Self-Determination Theory (SDT), they explore:

• The difference between high vs low quality motivation

• Why guilt and shame don't lead to lasting change

• How our basic psychological needs shape behavior

• What happens when society conflicts with human motivation

• Neurodivergence, hyperfocus, and demand avoidance

From dishwasher-loading rules to existential dread and fascism, it’s all here. If you’ve ever wondered why you “just can’t make yourself do it,” this episode offers answers — and maybe a little permission to be kinder to yourself.

 Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod