But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems

But Why Is Being Ourselves So Hard? | Identity, Authenticity & Performing for Belonging


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From band t-shirts to burnout, Kristin and Laura ask a deceptively simple question: why is it so hard to just be ourselves?

In this honest and often hilarious episode, they unpack the psychology of identity — how it’s formed, how it’s performed, and what happens when it doesn’t match our sense of self. Together, they explore:
• The difference between identity and sense of self
• Why performance isn’t always a bad thing
• How gender, sport, and neurodivergence shape how we show up
• The mental toll of hiding parts of ourselves to “fit in”
• What authenticity really means — and why it’s complicated

Whether you’ve ever masked who you are, felt like a fraud, or changed outfits before a Zoom call, this one’s for you. Because being yourself shouldn’t feel like a risk.

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But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systemsBy Dr. Kristin & Dr. Laura