Buy Like a Guy

A lot of guys have no idea what a "push present" is. I have to confess that until there was a baby in my future, I never heard of it, nor did I know what it was. (And I'm in "the business!") So what is a push present? Is it something you should consider when there's a baby on the way?

First, a push present is a gift that you present to your wife or girlfriend shortly after the baby is born, to celebrate the occasion. The term "push present" originated from the idea that the mother has "pushed" to bring the baby into the world, and the gift is a way to show appreciation for that effort.

On the surface a push present seems like it's a recognition thing for your wife or girlfriend…I mean it kind of is, giving birth is no small feat, and that's putting it mildly! (First time dad's: trust me on this. She deserves a damn crown for the blood, sweat and tears that is part and parcel of having a baby!)

However, I think it's way more than recognition because as time goes on, this gift you give her when the baby is born, becomes something more…and its meaning changes. The impact of this piece of jewelry and the gesture behind it, stretches way out into the future. That simple gift will become legendary in your family tree.

It is something that can be passed down from one generation to the next, to the next. Imagine the short but true story, "Your daddy gave me this when YOU were born." And then, "My dad gave this to my mom when I was born," and, "My grandfather gave this to my grandmother when my mother or father was born."

A push present is a legacy, even if it doesn't feel that way just yet. Legends aren't born, they're made.

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987

Note: This episode was originally published in April, 2023.

"The times they are a changin'..." I'm changing up the show and taking the podcast in a different direction! Buy Like a Guy will be exploring topics beyond fine jewelry to include other areas of interest for men.

But before I go, I'll talk about diamond reports, and reiterate once again the importance of seeking expert guidance when buying diamonds. Grading reports are all well and good, but nothing compares to actually seeing the diamond, and using professionals to help you get what's right for you and your pocket book.

Shout out to all you experts out there! Drop me an email at [email protected] if you'd like to be considered as a guest for the show. Guys have questions. You have answers. Let's do it!

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987

In this episode of Buy Like a Guy, I revisit when the proverbial "right time" is to make your buying decisions, and the importance of having a Plan B.

It's always best to buy important jewelry well before you're planning on giving it. Why? Because it's the best way to avoid undue anxiety about whether it's going to be done on time for your big reveal. Know what else happens? You won't have that nagging pressure hanging over your head as you wait for the final product.

I'll touch on the Paradox of Choice, a very real problem in our society as far as I'm concerned, and one that pops up all the time when you're buying something like an engagement ring or custom piece of jewelry. Customization feeds this monster, and while it can be a good thing, it can also push the lead time out well beyond the time constraints you think are appropriate.

Even when you allow yourself enough time, I still suggest having a Plan B in your back pocket. "Be prepared," is a great motto, and one that can serve you should the jewelry you are buying isn't quite ready when you need it, or when something you've had your eye on is gone when you make the all important move to go buy it. (Such a bummer.) It's the best way to avoid getting all knotted and apologizing at the moment of truth. Nobody wants that.

Takeaways:

• Avoid undue anxiety and apologies by having a plan B when presenting jewelry.
• Get jewelry sooner rather than later to eliminate pressure and ensure availability.
• The customization options in the jewelry industry can lead to the paradox of choice.
• Always communicate with your jeweler and ask about the timeframe for making jewelry.

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987

In Part 2 of my conversation with Shane Decker we discuss the role of jewelry in celebrating life's events and he shares the most important factors to consider when buying diamond jewelry. The conversation covers various aspects of buying an engagement ring and creating a memorable proposal.

Shane emphasizes the importance of choosing the right diamond shape and metal, considering the style of mounting and color of metal, and creating a unique and unforgettable proposal experience.

Ultimately, our conversation highlights the significance of expressing love through jewelry and creating lasting memories. (Cliche' I know...but it remains true.)

Key Takeaways:

• When buying an engagement ring, it is important to consider your future bride's preferences for diamond shape and metal color.
• The style of mounting and color of metal can greatly impact the overall look and feel of the ring.
• Creating a memorable proposal involves thinking outside the box and surprising her with a unique and personalized experience.
• Jewelry serves as a powerful symbol of love and can help create lasting memories.

Learn more here: https://www.ex-sell-ence.com/

Get in touch with Shane at [email protected].

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987

It seems like most, if not all, of the information and marketing messages coming out of the jewelry industry these days are geared toward women. It makes sense because oftentimes she is the driver when it comes to what sort of style she likes, and as men, we want to give her an engagement ring, or other fine jewelry that she will love.

However, a lot of guys can feel invisible in the process, because not many people or companies are talking to you. You need some direction outside of what your mom says, or her friends say, or even your buddies. You need an outside opinion and information so you can make a decision you feel good about.

My guest today is someone who can do just that. Shane Decker is the President of Ex-Sell-Ence, and The Shane Decker Sales Academy, and a jewelry industry legend who has been a diamond and fine jewelry consultant for more than 50 years.

He is a legit diamond evangelist, and has worked with more than 3000 independent jewelry stores worldwide to help develop true professional diamond associates.

Shane is going to discuss diamond grading, and why, according to Shane, the bulk of diamonds offered for sale online are not the "deal" people think they are. We also touch on the beauty and "sparkle" of diamonds, their value and emotional significance, as well as the longevity and investment value.

We're going to cover a lot in this first episode of the two part series. Get ready for some high energy learning!

Learn more here: https://www.ex-sell-ence.com/

Get in touch with Shane at [email protected].

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987

In this episode I'm going to talk about something that resonates with both men and women: When you glance down at your brand new ring, and see those first few scratches and dings. It can be disheartening, and you may even be surprised you even care.

Whether it's a minor scratch, a ding, or a chip, it happens to everyone. It's kind of like those times when you discover a scratch on our car door or a chip in the windshield. (I'll cover a little something about a Rolling Stones song that applies. Well, sort of.)

The good news is that most of the time, it's not a sign that your ring is poorly made. These imperfections are often just cosmetic and can be easily polished out by a skilled jeweler.

You may be surprised to hear that I recommend you DON'T buff those scratches out of your rings or jewelry.

I'll share a true story from my early days in the jewelry business about an experience I had with an older woman who was visiting from Japan. She said, "You know you Americans always want everything to look new and shiny. For me? Each one of those scratches in my ring is a part of my life. I will never have those polished away."

The lesson: rings and things are physical objects and we live in a physical world, and when the two come in contact with each other, there's going to be some physical evidence that an event took place…even if it's a microscopic scratch from our steering wheel.

It's nothing overly important or noteworthy, it's simply LIFE...happening.

I say let it happen…let it show…and if or when your prized pieces really need some sparking up because you just can't stand it anymore…go ahead, and take your jewelry to your favorite jeweler and get a tune up. But if you're like me, the collective scratches and dings that show up on your rings or other favorite jewelry will feel a little cooler, because they're there.

As Ferris Bueller says, in the classic movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Maybe those scratches and dings in your rings shouldn't be polished off, but contemplated for a few seconds when you notice them. Not to recall what caused them, but to appreciate all the days that passed before, and those that are yet to come.

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987

Note: This episode was originally published on September 21, 2023

If you're the kind of person that doesn't give a whole lotta' "you know what's" about fine jewelry or diamonds, or where the prices come from, I'm here to tell you, that's okay. In fact, I think it's perfectly normal.

If diamonds, gemstones, precious metals and fine jewelry don't interest you…don't learn about them.

I believe this is true for pretty much all things. If something doesn't interest you, find someone who knows their stuff, and let them do the work for you.

This is a common theme in pretty much every podcast I've done so far, mostly because it's almost always a fail safe way to get things done quickly, and easily. (With one important footnote that I'll mention at the end.)

I think the idea of finding an expert to make your life easy, particularly in the jewelry department, makes sense and saves time because there is a lot to learn, and quite frankly a lot of people think it's boring. And that's perfectly okay, because there are people like us…professional jewelry experts…all over the world…who DO take an interest in it, and learn about it, and study it and then arrange for these valuable items, and powerful symbols to be at the ready, when YOU'RE ready to take the plunge.

I know people want you to care more, but if you don't, you don't. And there's no shame in that.

What I've found over the years is that a lot of guys are cool with whatever they buy when they know just 2 things: How much does it cost? Is she going to love it?

These are highly logical questions, and important ones. They may be the only 2 questions that need answering before you decide what to buy.

This got me thinking. I used to know the late, great Chris Farley back in my college days at Marquette University, and that sometimes leads me to think of the movie Tommy Boy. (If you haven't seen it, you should. It's good old '90's humor, and Farley is a classic!)

There is a scene the movie that illustrates my point about seeking out expert advice to make life easier as you get to your end game. It's near the beginning, and Tommy Boy's dad, "Big Tom," is talking "sales" at his wedding to a bunch of guys at and around his table, and he says, "Of course I could get a helluva' good look at a T-bone steak by sticking my head up a bulls ass…but I'd rather take the butcher's word for it."

I love that line because it clearly illustrates what I'm talking about when I tell people to seek out experts, and let them do their work on your behalf.

Like when you're hunting for the right piece of jewelry. If you're not interested in knowing more about what you're buying besides what it costs and if she'll like it or not...no worries. Take the butcher's word for it...and hit the "go" button.

But here's the footnote I promised: this only holds true if you're dealing with a reputable place.

And how do you find that place? You ask around, read some reviews…use word-of-mouth…visit a website…or you could listen to Episode 36 called "Diamonds, Heroes, and A Simple Answer: The Best Advice for Making Jewelry Buying Easy" where I spell it out for you.

Physically going to a jewelry store is a thousand times more effective than trying to purchase online, because you can actually talk to the butcher. (Of course I'm referring to a jewelry professional.) It's like having a human search engine standing right in front of you to answer your questions (if you have them) as they guide you to the perfect piece for your particular situation.

To loosely quote Big Tom: "They're going to help you get that jewelry…and you won't need to stick your head up a bulls ass to do it.

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987

"So what's the hardest year of marriage?" You may be surprised to hear that I've been asked that question more than once. (Unless you're married. Then you know it's not an uncommon question, especially when you're talking to young men who are about to get married.)

I actually used to ask that same question as a young lad working behind the jewelry counter. It was a nice ice breaker when someone was in the store looking for an anniversary gift. One day I asked a certain gentleman that question, and he reframed it for me, then gave me an answer that I'll never forget.

He said something like, "It's not about which years are the hardest, it's about which ones are the most important."

I said, "Okay, so which one is the most important then?"

He said, "The one you're in."

Ka-pow!

Simple, awesome, and profound, and I've never forgotten that. (Even if I don't act like I know this secret every day of my marriage.)

So what does this have to do with jewelry?

Well, there are certain anniversaries that are considered milestones, and these are the ones that guys tend to buy jewelry for, because women tend to ask for it at these times.

These are the anniversaries that end in either a zero or a five. For example, the 5th, 10th, 15th or 20th, etc.

Does that mean if you're celebrating an anniversary that does not end in a five or a zero you shouldn't give an important piece of jewelry to mark the occasion? Should you wait til your 10th anniversary if this is your 8th?

In a word: no.

Let me reframe how we think about wedding anniversaries, and what we're trying to say when we give fine jewelry for these occasions to explain what I mean.

On the surface, it seems like what we're saying when we give jewelry for an anniversary is, "Wow! We got married 8 years ago today (or 10, or 14, etc), and I love you. Happy Anniversary!"

It's true, you are saying that, but I learned another listen from a completely different person, that is worth passing on. He said what we're really saying when we give fine jewelry to celebrate an Anniversary is, "Happy Anniversary. I love you. We made it another year…let's keep going!"

It doesn't matter a whole lot which year you're celebrating when you think about it like that now does it?

Recap: The most important year of marriage is the one you're in, and when you cross the finish line of that year, you're crossing the starting line of the next one, and that's when jewelry is the perfect way to mark those milestones, and communicate what's in our heads and our hearts.

I would be remiss if I didn't have some suggestions about what kind of jewelry to give as an anniversary gift. There are a few classics that are always appropriate, and I tell you what those are in Episode 5 called "The Top Five Jewelry Gift Guide for Guys."

These are fail safe gifts, and giving any one of these five gifts for your anniversary is a home run.

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987

As human beings we have an innate need to express ourselves to the rest of the world. Whether through our clothes, our time pieces, sharing our tastes in music, wearing our favorite team's merch…and of course, wearing a ring on the ring finger of our left hand, to tell others that, "Hey! Hands off. This girl or guy is spoken for."

But how did this come to be an almost universal practice in Western cultures?

You may have never thought about it because it's pretty much a non-negotiable these days, but where did this all start? Apparently the roots of this tradition began in ancient Egypt, where rings were given as a symbol of eternity and an unbroken circle of love. That remains true to this day, even if you've never thought about rings in that way. (Like I said, strong symbolism there.)

In previous episodes and actually in real life, I tell guys all the time, "Rings say more than any other piece of jewelry you can give someone, so if you give a ring, you better mean it."

We can thank the Romans for that, since they started that tradition. The specific choice of wearing wedding rings on the fourth finger, now commonly called the ring finger, of our left hand found its prominence in ancient Rome. They held a belief that the "vena amoris" or the "vein of love" ran directly from the ring finger to the heart. Hence, placing the wedding ring on this finger became a ritual symbolizing the eternal connection and love between the betrothed. So wearing a ring on the ring ring finger of one's left hand was and is a profound gesture, echoing the idea that love flows directly from the heart.

Medieval Europeans and the Christian Church played a pivotal role in solidifying the practice during the ring ceremony, infused with religious significance, that involved the priest placing the ring on the left hand's ring finger while invoking the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It was a sacred act that further enshrined the tradition in the hearts and minds of the people that attended, witnessed, and took part in such ceremonies. Obviously this still happens in one form or another in similar ceremonies to this very day.

As history unfolded, the tradition traversed continents and cultures and continued to gain momentum. However, it wasn't until World War II that the left hand, ring finger tradition gained widespread recognition in the United States.

Soldiers and their brides would wear their wedding rings on the left hand, ring finger as a visible and tangible connection to each other. It sounds like that's when it found a permanent place in our culture, because it became a cherished tradition that endured beyond the war.

Of course this tradition continues today…even if, until now, you didn't know why. So there you have it, a shallow dive into the history of wedding rings and why we wear them where we do.

This information might come in very handy someday. How? I can't rightly say, but of course life is a miraculous thing, and there just might be a free beer in your future because you can correctly name the vena amoris. Stranger things have happened...

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987

There are some fantastic pieces of jewelry that are beautiful and impactful, and they tend to cost a lot of money, and it's also the kind of jewelry that she won't wear "all the time."

It begs the question, "Why would I spend a lot of money on something that she won't wear that often? It's not 'practical.'"

That makes some sense I suppose, and it can seem like a valid reason not to buy that fancy bracelet or those diamond hoop earrings for an anniversary, a birthday, or certain holidays because they're fancy and she won't wear them all that often.

Women echo this argument because just like men, they're a little confused as to why someone would buy or give something that costs so much money, that she won't wear but a few times a year. (Special occasions.)

I happen to believe that logic is not the best way to make a decision when it comes to our most prized possessions in general, and jewelry specifically. I believe jewelry is a need, and if you'd like to know why, listen to Episode 10: "Diamonds and Jewelry: The Best Investment You'll Ever Need."

But why do I say logic is NOT the best way to justify fancy jewelry purchases? My answer is philosophical, I have to warn you, but it's also something I believe. The reason I say this is because Life is short.

Normally, when we say, "Life is short," we tend to gravitate towards and think about the moments that are really big ones for us, right? We don't think, "You're right, life IS short, I better get the grocery shopping done." Or, "man, life is short, maybe it's time I started using fabric softener."

The life is short mantra tends to move our thoughts into milestone moments we hope to have, or achievements, or going for that elusive goal we've been talking about forever. We think of big memories, like getting married, the birth of our children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews, the monumental anniversaries and dream vacations, and unfortunately, the loss of loved ones along the way. It's not a pleasant topic I know, but as my mom and dad used to say, "Death is also a part of life."

The point is, we tend to talk about and remember the big moments in life, but there are little moments too, and they're most certainly tied to those earrings or that ring she won't wear every day, if you let them. These little moments are the ones that we don't remember at all. We know they happened because we're another year older, and something happened between the bigger, more memorable moments. They're small and habitual. They're forgotten bits of time that end up being how we spend the majority of our lives here on earth.

But the reality is that the forgotten times, combined with the remembered ones, are the history of our personal lives.

Then we mix up our lives with someone else's personal history to create a whole new history that takes us in a direction we hoped for. Maybe it's committing ourselves to one person for this short life, and having children, a home, a garden out back, or opening a dance club. I don't know any of that because these are your dreams, so have at it. That's a little deep and of course I simplified the ups and downs and circles of Life, so what does this have to do with jewelry anyway? (Much less those nicer pieces that can seem impractical?) I'd argue that those impractical pieces, as so many people put it, are worth the money you invest, even if they're not going to be worn every day.

I'll tell you a little story that happened this past holiday season when my wife and I were attending a very small get together with a few friends. At one point during the evening I noticed our hostess was wearing a diamond bangle bracelet, which for most people is not an everyday piece. (It wasn't for our hostess either.) I'll tell you how I complimented her on the bracelet, and how that quick exchange gave birth to this episode, and my explanation as to why I know that "fancy" jewelry, even though it's worn just a few times a year, is worth your investment. (Actually it's worth MORE than the money you'll spend, and I'll argue that as well.)

It comes down to the way extra-special jewelry, the "not every day" jewelry, enhances the forgettable moments, and doesn't leave us with specific memories per se, but a general feeling of a life well lived. Take listen and by all means let me know your thoughts. Am I right? (Say yes...)

If you want to talk with me personally you can email me at [email protected]. I'm happy to personally help you find the right jewelry for your special occasion, or put you in touch with a jewelry pro that's closer to home.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987