SUMMARY: Vietnam veterans deal with their PTSD and speak of their desire to return to Vietnam.

TEASER — Pat Cameron: But the average 19-year-old, 18-year-old, kid that went over there didn’t come back the same… did not come back the same.

INTRO — Kent C. Williamson: For whatever reason, when I travel I prefer to handle my own baggage. Occasionally there’s an awkward moment in front of a hotel when the concierge calls the bellhop over to take my luggage and I have to politely wave them off while trying to grab all my bags, not leave any behind, and not knock anything over as I continue on my way. Often I’m overloaded with bags hanging from my shoulders and suitcases in tow, and if the family’s with me, pillows and stuffed animals jammed in my armpits. You know the guy I’m talking about. You’ve probably seen him yourself… well, that’s me. I long to be the guy with just a single bag and a wad of cash for tips, but most of the time, I’m not. I’ve got baggage, and lots of it. Of course, physical baggage, as messy as it can get, is often easier to carry than emotional baggage. When our veterans returned from Vietnam they often brought both. An over-stuffed duffle bag can be dumped onto the bed and sorted through or it can be tucked into a closet and forgotten about. But the emotional baggage that flew back from Vietnam with our veterans was a different story altogether.

Welcome to the By War & By God Podcast, I’m your host Kent Williamson. This show is a companion series to the award-winning documentary film By War & By God. It’s a place where we can go deeper into the stories of the lives of these veterans than we’re able to in the film. This season we’ve been telling the remarkable accounts of people who’s lives were forever changed by the Vietnam war. You’ve heard stories of heroism, and stories of tragedy… but you’ll also hear some amazing stories of reconciliation, and you’ll learn about a magnetic force that tugged and pulled and eventually drew these soldiers, medics, machine-gunners and crewman back to Vietnam for the purpose of serving some of the poorest of the poor in that beautiful country.

But before we get into the show, I need to tell you about Big Heaven Cafe. Big Heaven Cafe is the place to go to purchase the documentary By War & By God, so if you need a copy please click your way to Big Heaven Cafe dot com. That’s Big Heaven Cafe dot com and use the coupon code “podcast” to save one-hundred-thirteen-thousand-eight-hundred-and-fifty Vietnamese Dong… or five U.S. bucks on the film. And don’t forget that 20% of all sales of By War & By God from Big Heaven Cafe go to Vets With A Mission, the non-profit that since 1989 has taken nearly 1400 Vietnam Veterans back to Vietnam.  Why do they go back? For healing and reconciliation.

In today’s episode, Dealing With Your Baggage, we’ll learn a little bit about a thing called PTSD. We’ll learn that trying to take the war out of the man is not an easy task. And today we’ll hear about the first hints of desire these men had of returning to the land called Vietnam. Alright… here it is…

Chuck Ward: When I finally had to face the demons of my Vietnam experiences that weren’t that bad…

Kent C. Williamson: This is Chuck Ward…

Chuck Ward: So just imagine the poor Marines and soldiers, 13 and 12 months of being on the ground and involved in activity and firefights and ambushes, you know, every two or three days. And just imagine how it impacted them, if it impacted me this way. The survivors guilt was a big motivator, a big influence, in my life. Because of the five of us on our high school bowling team one never went to Vietnam, four went to Vietnam, and I was the only one that came back alive. The other three were all killed in Vietnam. That bothered me a lot. You know, ‘Why me?’

Kent C. Williamson: What were the kind of injuries that you saw people coming back with?

Pat Cameron: Lost arms and legs…

SUMMARY: How would you describe your worst day in the war? Three Vietnam War Veterans describe their worst days during Vietnam. (Part 1 of 2)

TEASER — Bob Peragallo: General Giap had promised Ho Chi Minh that if the Marines ever crossed the Thu Bon River he would wipe them out, and there was a Vietnamese term for that, and the English translation is that they would be “walking dead men”.

INTRO — Kent C. Williamson: In previous episodes we’ve heard how these veterans first learned about a place called Vietnam. We heard about their first days in-country and some of their first patrols. We’ve also learned about their best days during the war, but today (and next week) we’re going to dive into some of the bad memories from their experiences in Vietnam.

Welcome to the By War & By God Podcast, I’m your host Kent Williamson. As you may know, this podcast is a companion series to the award-winning documentary film By War & By God. What awards you might ask… well, we were nominated for an Emmy in our region, we won Best of Show, Best Editing, Best Direction, and the Human Spirit Awards at the Docs Without Borders Film Festival. We’ve also won Awards of Merit at both The Indiefest and the Impact Docs Awards and most recently we’ve been nominated for Most Inspirational Documentary and Best Director at ICFF, the International Christian Film Festival in Orlando. So if you have yet to see the film, I encourage you to check it out. This podcast is a place where we can go deeper into the stories of these veterans. Over this season you will hear the amazing accounts of people who’s lives were forever changed by the Vietnam war. You’ll hear stories of heroism, and stories of tragedy (like in today’s episode)… but down the road you’ll also hear stories of reconciliation, and you’ll learn about a magnetic force that tugged and pulled and eventually drew these soldiers, medics, machine-gunners and crewman back to Vietnam to serve some of the poorest of the poor of that beautiful land.

But war is not pretty. It is not fun. To ignore the stories of these veterans experiences would be to gloss over the tragedy that war really is. In this episode My Worst Day in Vietnam we’ll hear about some of those bad, dark days… so stay with us…

But before we start, I need to tell you about Big Heaven Cafe. Big Heaven Cafe is a simple web store with a few films to buy, including the documentary By War & By God, so if you haven’t seen the film, or if you need to pick up a copy for a friend, a history buff, a Vietnam veteran that you know, please click your way to Big Heaven Cafe dot com. That’s Big Heaven Cafe dot com and use the coupon code “podcast” to save five glorious bucks on the film. Oh, and don’t forget… 20% of all sales of By War & By God from Big Heaven Cafe go to Vets With A Mission, the non-profit that since 1989 has taken nearly 1400 Vietnam Veterans back to Vietnam. Why? For healing and reconciliation. Alright, let’s get on with today’s episode…

WARNING: Actually, before we jump in I want to warn listeners that there are some rather disturbing events described in this week’s show, so now would be a good time to skip to another episode if you’re sensitive to this type of thing. Okay, here we go…

Kent C. Williamson: Tell me about your worst day in Vietnam…

Bob Peragallo: Well my worst day was May 12, 1966.

Kent C. Williamson: This is Bob Peragallo…

Bob Peragallo: Our company was pretty much overrun. We were in a area near the Thu Bồn River which was south of Da Nang. The Thu Bồn River ran from the South China Sea, a little village called Hoi An up all the way into almost up to the Laotian border. And ninth marines again was the first marine unit that was in Vietnam legally, we were the first marines that were sent there. And we were the most advanced unit in that particular area of I Corps.

DROP IN — Kent C. Williamson: The I Corps was one of four corps of the Army of...

SUMMARY: The By War & By God Podcast is a companion series to the award-winning documentary film By War & By God. The podcast will allow us to go deeper into the stories than the film allows.

Kent C. Williamson: Hello, I’m Kent Williamson, the director of the film By War & By God and host of the soon-to-be-released By War & By God Podcast from Paladin Pictures. How soon? March the 8th.

For those that don’t know, By War & By God tells the story of a group of Vietnam Vets who survived the hell of war and who, since 1989, have been returning to Vietnam to care for some of the poorest of the poor of that beautiful land.

The film was recently nominated for an Emmy. It also won Best of Show at the Docs Without Borders film festival where it took home the Human Spirit Award, Best Direction, Best Editing, and Audience Impact Awards.

The reason we’re creating the By War & By God podcast is to go deeper into the fascinating stories these veterans told us. When we edited the film there was so much good content that didn’t make it into the film. But the podcast is the perfect vehicle for us to share these stories. Some episodes will be topical where these men reflect on their very first day as machine gunners, medics, and kids in Vietnam, or they share the stories of their absolute best… or even their worst days during the war. Other episodes will focus on a single Veterans story… their experiences as soldiers in the war… their return to a nation who didn’t appreciate them… and what led them to go back to Vietnam.

So I hope you’ll join us on March 8th as we launch the podcast. Go ahead and subscribe now so you don’t miss a single episode. If you haven’t seen the film By War & by God yet you can stream it or buy the DVD at a variety of online retailers including Vimeo On Demand and Big Heaven Cafe dot com. That’s Big Heaven Cafe dot com.

To give you a little taste of what the podcast will be like here’s the audio of the first few minutes of the film By War & By God….

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Archival Footage – News Clip: Because of the following CBS News Special Report the program normally seen at this time will not be presented today.

Phil Carney: My first recollection is just watching the news as a kid.

Bob Peragallo: There was a broadcast on the television about Vietnam and that Marines had landed there. And I had no idea that there was such a place called Vietnam.

Pat Cameron: The war was going on but I didn’t really pay a lot of attention to it.

Sandy Sturch: Whatever our purposes were, we were going to go in and do and get out  and I wasn’t much concerned about it.

Archival Footage – Marines Commercial: If you think every Marine learns how to handle a rifle. You’re right.

Steve Scott: I grew up reading a lot of Kipling and wanted [laughs] some adventure.

Archival Footage – Marines Commercial: But if you think that’s all he learns, you’re wrong.

Archival Footage – News Clip: With American air support, South Vietnamese troops are still engaged in the endless, weary, bloody business of war.

Walt Griffin: Well, I really didn’t know much about until around ’64, the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution. And I watched the famous Johnson speech.

Archival Footage – News Clip: The confrontation between Reds and the West was the most critical since the Gulf of Tonkin incident last summer. When the US replied just as swiftly to  North Vietnam PT boat attacks.

Sandy Sturch: I wasn’t much concerned about it, until my brother was sent to Vietnam

Cal Dunham: In 1967, I found myself with a set of papers that said I was now going to be joining the army

Steve Scott: I think the first time I heard about Vietnam was in boot camp in the Marine Corps. But the drill instructors inured us to the fact that we’re all going to go to Vietnam.

Roger Helle: And I remember one of the teachers one ...