Calm after the storm: Survivorship and other stories, with Amy Syed

During her childhood, Karlyn Percil experienced bullying and sexual abuse. Without understanding how to deal with her trauma, Karlyn unconsciously carried it throughout her life, which formed into self-sabotaging narratives that ultimately affected her relationships with other people and herself. Eventually recognizing that she needed to make a change, Karlyn worked towards accepting and loving herself. She developed programs and stayed disciplined until she was able to regain her own power and tap into her full potential. Today, Karlyn Percil is a successful entrepreneur who focuses on sharing the lessons from her journey with women around the world. 

1.33 - Karlyn’s childhood

4.10 - Karlyn’s child sexual abuse

5.39 - What self bullying looks like

8.10 -  The institutionalization of our lives and breaking free

14.45 - How to create a conscious contract with yourself

17.20 - Amy’s reflection 

18.10 - Reflecting on your SIMUs

23.07 - How Karlyn reclaimed her power

29.16 - Karlyn’s businesses evolve

32.09 - How to help others understand the impact of stepping into your healing

35.25 - How to discover your purpose

36.30 - Remember to be audacious

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When Leigh Mitchell was three months old, she was given up for adoption. Her adopted parents divorced when she was only a year hold, causing disruption to the stability she felt from an early age. In school, Leigh struggled to find her stability, suffering from learning disabilities and constantly moving from place to place. Eventually after finding her footing in high school, Leigh watched her father buy a resort and suffer from a nervous breakdown that changed the course of his life. As a business owner herself today, Leigh has spent years helping both herself and others heal from similar traumas. In adulthood, Leigh managed to reconnect with her biological parents, putting together estranged pieces of her identity and began counselling to better understand how her traumas had affected her life. Today, Leigh is a thriving entrepreneur as the founder of Women in Business Network, a group of 30K+ women created to support female business owners. 

1.41 - Leigh’s adoption and childhood

4.30 - Leigh moves back in with her mom

5.10 - Leigh’s learning disabilities

6.20 - Leigh’s stepfather has a car accident, family moves to Mississauga

7.20 - Leigh’s relationship with her biological parents

8.05 - Leigh starts hanging out with older crowd

9.10 - Leigh’s weekends with her adoptive father

10.14 - Leigh’s adoptive father buys a resort, sees her father have a nervous breakdown

11.52 - How Leigh’s trauma affected her

12.57 - Amy’s reflection on Leigh’s story

13.57 - Leigh goes to college instead of university

14.44 - Leigh gets her driver’s license

16.21 - How Leigh found and met her biological parents

18.55 - Leigh gets an explanation for her adoption from her father

21.55 - Leigh experiences postpartum depression after having her first child

22.17 - Amy’s second reflection

23.17 - Leigh starts seeing a psychiatrist 

24.59 - How Women in Business Network was born

25.42 - How our businesses are often reflections of ourselves

26.21 - How to deal with rough days in business

29.58 - Self care for entrepreneurs

32.50 - Making decisions

33.56 - Leigh’s dedication

35.21 - Amy’s takeaways

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Farah Nasser is an award winning journalist who has dedicated her voice to elevating people of colour. Recently, Farah opened up about her personal experience with the stillbirth of her son Hussain, live on Global News. Throughout this episode, Amy and Farah trade stories about what it was like growing up as children of immigrant parents, and their pregnancies with their twins. Farah talks about the moment she found out that one of her twins had passed away in her womb, and the psychological effects it had on her as she continued to carry both twins. Today, Farah discusses her stillbirth openly to raise awareness on the subject and remembers Hussain fondly with her husband and two children. 

1.32 - Farah’s childhood

2.51 - How Farah felt growing up as a child of immigrant parents

6.05 - The first time Farah was called a “paki”

8.21 - When Farah got married and decided to have kids

9.46 - Farah finds out she was having twins

10.32 - How Farah’s pregnancy went

11.12 - Farah lost one of her twins

13.26 - Amy’s reflection 

14.43 - The pregnancy build up, Farah gave birth and found out how her twin passed away

16.33 - Farah’s labour

18.02 - The importance of talking about stillbirths

19.22 - Group therapy

21.17 - Why Farah and her husband decided to tell her son about his brother

22.54 - What life looks like now for Farah

24.38 - Amy’s reflection on loss

25.31 - What Farah is seeing in working moms today

28.03 - The need for protectionism

29.35 - Farah’s episode dedication

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After Avery Francis was promoted to her dream job, she was sexually assaulted at a work social. Put in a precarious position as part of the company’s HR department, Avery made the difficult decision to come forward and take action. However, although the individual was let go, Avery could not let go of the feeling that she was unsafe at her workplace. Months went by and she slowly became more and more depressed, suppressing her emotions of the incident, rather than dealing with them. After an emotional breakdown, Avery took a leave of absence where she found art therapy and began to move through the trauma that had occured. Upon arrival back to her job, Avery made the decision to leave the company to continue her pathway to thrive. Today, Avery is the founder of Bloom, a full service workplace design consultancy.

1.34 - Avery’s childhood

5.04 - Dropped out of school and had to pay her parents back. Ended up in recruiting.

7.02 - How Avery started her career after university

7.40 - Avery became the Director of Talent at Rangle.io 

8.58 - Started to distance herself from her colleagues

9.27 - Avery’s promotion

10.05 - The work social, celebrating her promotion

10.57 - Avery’s sexual assault

16.15 - Avery turns blame inwards, how the assault affected Avery’s sense of self

17.56 - The dinner after the assault

18.27 - What action Avery took afterwards

19.04 - The action Rangle took

20.57 - How Avery felt at work after her assault

21.43 - Avery’s rock bottom

24.08 - Amy’s reflection

25.10 - Tools Avery used to heal 

27.52 - Avery’s take on art therapy

29.50 - Sexual assault is often not a one-off situation

30.15 - Why Avery came forward 

31.16 - Amy’s second reflection

32.32 - What happened next?

34.10 - How Bloom was born

35.18 - What thriving means to Avery

37.05 - Avery’s advocacy for BLM

42.40 - Who Avery honours on the website

43.00 - Amy’s final reflection

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Fortunate to have several parents due to divorce, Jodi Kovitz came from a large family that shaped her view on making lemonade out of hard situations. As Jodi grew up, she adopted the mindset of always trying to find the positive out of pain. After having her daughter Lilly, Jodi and her husband divorced. A family lawyer at the time, Jodi hit a breaking point where she recognized that the life she was living was not the right path for her. This sparked a metamorphosis, where Jodi recognized the negative behaviours she was manifesting and began to see that their impacts were bigger than herself. After realizing the behaviours were happening, Jodi focused on her self development to heal the wounds that would change her life and create a bigger impact. Today, Jodi Kovitz is the Founder and CEO of #MoveTheDial, the host of the Joyful Sundays podcast, and a certified meditation instructor. 

1.32 - Jodi’s childhood, first experience with her parents  

2.57 - How Jodi’s parents' divorce impacted her  

6.24 - Jodi’s advice for anyone going through divorce. 

7.55 - Jodi’s co-parenting relationship with her daughter’s stepmom  

9.30 - Why Jodi became a family lawyer  

12.00 - Jodi asks for a business development budget to build a collaborative family law practice  

12.50 - Jodi realizes that the life she was living was not the right path for her  

15.34 - Jodi’s life changing experience in Arizona  

19.12 - How to hold space for people with severe mental health issue  

19.43 - Amy’s first reflection on self love and physical manifestation of disease  

21.19 - The start of #MoveTheDial  

23.40 - Pausing operations of #MoveTheDial due to COVID-19  

24.22 - Jodi’s meditation process  

27.49 - Jodi’s grieving process for #MoveThe Dial  

29.26 - Joyful Sundays  

33.43 - Jodi’s dedication for the episode  

34.32 - Amy’s final reflection  

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A self-made millionaire, Tahani Aburaneh came from extremely humble beginnings. After being born to Palestinian parents in a refugee camp in Amman, Jordan, and is supported by international aid groups, Tahani was married against her will at age 15 to her cousin and sent to Canada without speaking a word of English. Determined to not be defined by her circumstances, she finished high school and managed to complete a business diploma from Conestoga College. Eventually, Tahani managed to leave her marriage and went on to build several successful businesses and a thriving real estate empire. Today she is also the author of Real Estate Riches: A Money-Making Game Plan for the Canadian Investor, and is one of the country’s leading experts on real estate investing.

Show Notes:

1:40- Tahani talks about life in her refugee camp felt like

2:18- Tahani talks about her childhood. Emphasis on her relationship with her dad

2:55- Tahani’s arranged marriage

5:40- Tahani explains the “why” behind moving to Canada and how she reconciled with the decision. (To support her family in the refugee camp)

7:00- Tahani’s Dad's letters

7:13- Tahani’s life when she came to Canada + her husband

8:03- Excitement over going to school + learning English

10:20- How Tahani balanced her wife and home duties with school + her part-time job

11:17- Numbness wore off and Tahani starts questioning her life and decisions

12:12- Tahani talks about her marriage

13:04- Amy’s first reflection

13:42- Rock bottom

14:97- Tahani’s brother passed away + mom suffering from illness

15:45- Tahani talks about her real estate career starting + her first home purchase with no down payment

17:06- Gratitude and mindset shift

18:09- Tahani talks about her new “why” her two kids being her inspiration behind her hustle

19:07- Amy's second reflection

22:49- Her inspiration to help women

24:25- disadvantages of not promoting women at the forefront of investing

29:23- Tahani dedicates the episode to her parents

30:06- Amys conclusion

Support the show (https://www.amysyed.ca/calmafterthestormpodcast)

When Samra was 16, she was forced into an arranged marriage with an older man that she did not know. She was shipped to Canada, barely speaking english, and was forced to perform a role of wife and mother that she was not ready for. Although culturally, Samra’s marriage was accepted by her immediate family members and community, she knew that something wasn’t right. She had bigger hopes and dreams to get an education, build a career, and create a life for herself that was free from her family duties. After ten years of enduring abuse, while slowly saving up money from a small babysitting business, Samra was finally able to attend University and things started to change. At the University of Toronto, Samra was celebrated for her intelligence and found the resources and strength to leave her husband. Today, Samra has graduated at the top of her class, been named one of the top 100 most powerful women in Canada, and her book “A Good Wife: Escaping The Life I Never Chose” is a bestseller. 

Show Notes:
2.15 - Samra’s childhood

6.45 - The mentality of accepted norms 

8.39 - Samra’s arrange marriage

9.58 - Samra arrives in Canada with her new husband

13.45 - Samra describes her first 5 years in Canada

14.27 - Samra tries to end her life

17.40 - Amy’s initial reflection to Samra’s story

18.19 - How Samra pulled herself out of abuse

22.28 - What kept Samra going, Samra started going to school

24.48 - Samra finds the on-campus health and wellness center 

26.21 - Samra starts to push back, her husband abuses her to the point where she decides to leave

29.43 - Samra graduates top of her class with awards

30.30 - Cultural backlash of divorce

32.11 - Rock bottom moment

33.02 - How to capture and listen to your inner voice

37.15 - Samra’s kids become her partners

38.53 - Amy’s second reflection

40.45 - How Samra is doing today, how can people be more inclusive

44.53 - Samra dedicates the episode to her younger sister

46.33 - Amy’s final conclusion, resources for victims of abuse

Support the show (https://www.amysyed.ca/calmafterthestormpodcast)

Two years ago, Brenda was pregnant with twins. A few months prior to her due date, Brenda was hospitalized for 30+ days before being thrust into an emergency C-section. Due to the hospital’s capacity, her twins were transferred to another NICU - away from Brenda for the first few days of their lives. When Brenda met her twins for the first time, they were wearing masks and hooked up to IVs. After Brenda was able to take them home with her and her husband two months later, everything seemed out of place. Nothing was the way that Brenda thought it would be and soon after, she began to realize that something was seriously wrong. About a year later, Brenda was diagnosed with PTSD from her traumatic birth experience, and slowly she began to accept her experience and heal. 

1.22 - Brenda’s Childhood

3.43 - Life after University and getting pregnant with twins

5.07 - The pregnancy

7.20 - Pregnancy complications

10.05 - Unexpected early birth

12.08 - Post-birth in the NICU

16.45 - Brenda realizes there’s something off

19.40 - Brenda becomes a doula

21.56 - Brenda’s diagnosis of PTSD

22.32 - Amy’s reflection on Brenda’s story

24.08 - Brenda’s treatment 

27.46 - Brenda’s attachment to the idea of perfection

31.50 - Amy’s concluding thoughts

33.14 - How Brenda is doing today

37.05 - Brenda’s dedication

39.11 - Amy’s key takeaways

Support the show (https://www.amysyed.ca/calmafterthestormpodcast)

When Blair was a child, her parents divorced. Her dad was struggling with addiction, and to Blair, when her father left, she felt like he stopped loving her. Fast forward to her adult life, Blair fell into abusive relationships, where she gave in to the wrong people, seeking the love she felt she lost. When she left her relationship, Blair found herself at rock bottom. She was effectively homeless, and called everyone that had expressed interest in working with her business to make enough money to put down a rent deposit. From the day she moved in, things started looking up. Blair worked her way up and eventually made a trip to Vancouver, where she gathered the strength to call her father and begin putting their relationship back together. 

1.15 - Blair’s childhood

6.20 - How Blair left her abusive relationship

8.40 - Blair’s rock bottom moment

8.50 - Blair’s dad came back into her life

10.14 - Amy’s reflection on Blair’s story

11.43 - How Blair and her dad rebuilt their relationship

16.19 - How Blair’s trauma affected her view of alcohol and drugs

17.54 - Blair’s father is diagnosed with terminal illness

18.59 - Blair’s father’s apology letter

22.27- Amy’s second reflection on Blair’s story

24.12 - What happened next

28.50 - How to unleash love in moments of pain

33.26 - Amy’s conclusion

Support the show (https://www.amysyed.ca/calmafterthestormpodcast)

Growing up in a family rooted in alcoholism, at a young age, Katie Koslowski’s parents dedicated themselves to trying to save her Uncle, after her other Uncle jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. As a child, she knew there was something going on, but no one wanted to talk about it. When her Grandmother went into a coma, at age five, Katie tried to comprehend the surrounding stress and anxiety that was storming, while feeling like her parents were distracted from raising her. When Katie moved into her teenage years, she didn’t have any sense of support, and fell into consistent peer pressure, which led to her alcoholism. Alcohol led to drugs, and Katie found herself involved in several sexual assaults and abusive relationships. Today, Katie has dedicated herself to supporting other women overcome the abuse they’ve experienced. 

1.34 - Katie’s childhood

5.24 - How Katie’s childhood affected her life

9.05 - Amy dissects how how alcoholism can act as a filler for voids

9.45 - How Katie’s upbringing affected her relationships

14.32 - Amy reflects on Katie’s story.

15.14 - Katie walks in front of a moving cab on September 19th, 2009.

17.04 - The turning point.

19.00 - Katie’s change.

19.52 - Amy reflects on Katie’s rock bottom moment and turning point. 

22.39 - Tools and resources Katie used in her healing process. 

26.00 - Katie’s next chapter.

30.05 - What is wrong with the word ‘trigger.’

32.10 - Amy’s final reflection. 

33.57 - How Katie is doing today.

38.30 - Amy’s key takeaways.

Support the show (https://www.amysyed.ca/calmafterthestormpodcast)