Calvary Baptist Church - Canyon Texas - David Crump, Pastor

Jesus Christ is supreme. In him is fullness and we have been given fullness in him.

Some of the most significant aspects of his fullness are the effects of his death and resurrection in the lives of believers.

Because Christ died for us, our old, sinful nature died with him.

Because Christ was resurrected, we have new life in him - new resurrection life.

We read that we are to put to death sin like sexual immorality and greed and get rid of anger and lies like they are old, filthy clothes.

Paul commanded us to replace those old rags with new clothes.

Bear with each other, forgive each other, and, above all, Love each other

We are supposed to cover ourselves in this new life with these things within the body of believers.

But what about where you let your hair down? And where you work.

Home and work are, for better or worse, where we really act like ourselves.

These virtues of Christianity are hardest to show the people we live with every day.

But Paul drives these commands right into our family and work lives, where we cannot hide for long and we cannot put on a front.

Men, You ever tried to be someone you're not in front of your wife?

She will call you out on it every time.

While you're at home or work, minding your own business, here comes Paul to say, "you've got to live this out with your family. Because with your family and work is where it matters most."

Colossians 3:18-4:1

Husbands and Wives

v. 18 - "wives submit to your husbands"

Means that wives are to voluntarily yield to their husband's authority.

It can be thought of as giving preference to or defer to her husband.

This refers to a loyal love that says, "I will love you by following you"

"As is fitting in The Lord" means that this is fitting to those who belong to The Lord.

v. 19 - "Husbands, love (agape) your wives"

Refers to God's love. Show your wife a devoted love - the opposite of short-term.

It's an unconditional love - the opposite of a self-centered love that demands it's one way.

It's a love that demonstrates a concern for the well-being of the one loved.

"Do not be harsh with them" is literally, "do not embitter them."

It means that we are not to treat our wives in a way that makes them angry or irritated.

Don't be harsh, don't be cross with her.

This refers to a tender love that says, "I will love you with an unconditional love."

Wives, love your husbands with a loyal love. Husbands, love your wives with an unconditional love.

Parents and Children

v. 20 - "children obey your parents"

"Obey" implies a readiness to hear. It has the sense of obeying orders.

It starts with listening and follows through with action

"in everything" means that you don't judge what to obey or what not to obey.

This is not a buffet of obedience. Children are called to be obedient.

"This pleases The Lord." This is God's desire, His will for you.

God desires obedience and it starts with obedience to parents.

v. 21 - "Fathers, do not embitter your children"

Paul speaks to the father as head of the household, has special responsibility in training children.

But can mean fathers as "parents".

The verb translated as "embitter" means to stir up emotion, excitement. Here, the negative sense means, "don't provoke them."

Don't constantly criticize, don't nag, don't be fault-finding, don't constantly harass, don't over-correct them.

Don't rouse them to resentment.

Don't be so exacting, so demanding that your child feels like they can never do anything right.

Or they will lose heart.

Children grow with showering of encouragement and occasional correction.

Slaves and Masters

vv. 22-25 - half the people in the Roman Empire were slaves.

They are discussed here because they were part of the household.

In fact, Paul is going to say here, that before God there is no difference between slave and master; they are equals before God.

How does this apply to us today - in jobs.

We work voluntarily, we get compensated for our time at work - how much more does this apply to us than to people who didn't have any rights?

Do your boss's work with a sincere heart, not grudgingly.

Paul then elevates even the most menial work.

Do your work to the best of your attitude and ability, as though you are doing it for The Lord.

"You will receive an inheritance from The Lord"

There is dignity in all work.

There is no divide in your live between what is sacred and what is secular.

Everything is for The Lord.

You can bring honor to Jesus Christ by the way you work - diligently and sincerely.

4:1 - "masters, provide what is just and fair"

Those in authority are accountable to God.

Masters have a master to answer to.

So powerful is the new life in Christ, that He shines through in every relationship and every arena of life.

Jesus Christ is unique in all the heavens and creation.

There is no one like him.

He is supreme above every authority.

His cause to redeem fallen creation is the greatest on the planet.

He is the most compelling figure in the history of the world.

He is all the character and infinite attributes of God in finite human form.

His supremacy is described as fullness. He shares his fullness with us.

Many times in our lives we don't feel a fullness of life, but

Emptiness

Purposeless

Defeated by sin

Beaten by the enemy

Surrounded by darkness

Ashamed b/c of our sin and inconsistency

Steeped in guilt for our failure.

Where is this fullness? It is found in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Fullness is found in him.

It's like we have been freed from the prison of defeat,

but don't know how to leave our prison cell.

Freed from sin, but unable to walk in righteousness.

Jesus has overcome all of this, but your enemy wants you to believe that somehow none of this applies to you.

The truth is, if you are in Jesus Christ, you have his purpose,

you have been reconciled to the Father,

you have been rescued from darkness,

you have his victory over sin and it is no longer your master,

your guilt and failures have been removed from you and

you are holy and blameless in the sight of God.

Yes, we have struggles, but our lives have been for ever changed.

When I struggle against sin, it no longer has the upper hand.

When the enemy comes against me, he and I both know he's been defeated and has no power over me.

We need to stop acting like a defeated people.

you are not defeated. You are not beat. Our King has won the victory.

When I'm disappointed by this life, I remember that Jesus has qualified me for a glorious inheritance (1:5, 12).

When I feel the darkness closing in, I remember Jesus rescued me from its dominion (1:13).

When I feel no purpose in life, I remember that I was created for Jesus Christ (1:16).

When I feel like things are out of control, I remember that Christ holds all things together (1:17).

When I feel like I don't belong in God's presence, I remember the Jesus has reconciled me by his death, to present me holy and blameless and above reproach before him (1:22).

When I feel empty, I remember that I have been given fullness in Christ (2:10).

When I feel I'm losing the struggle against sin, I remember that in Jesus' death, my sinful nature has been defeated (2:11).

When I feel guilt for my sin and inconsistency, I remember that God has forgiven all my sin (2:13).

When I feel shame for my failures, I remember the charges against me were wiped out and nailed to Jesus' cross (2:14).

When I feel like I'm defeated, I remember that Jesus disarmed his enemies and triumphed over them (2:15).

Colossians 2:16-23

The big problem in Colosse was a mystical combination of

Jewish rituals, asceticism, and worship of spiritual beings.

vv. 18b-20 false teachers practiced worship of angels.

But these beings are under Christ.

The effect, they had become proud, air of spirituality - and useless.

They worshipped a headless body.

We have access to Christ and have no need to worship lesser beings.

vv. 16-18a there were people teaching that you had to hold to strict practice of Jewish food laws and religious festival days.

They also taught asceticism - practice of denying the body material things like food, clothing, or sleep to gain control over it.

vv. 21-23 the problem is that behavior modification never worked.

Sin does not come from the outside, but from the inside.

Behavior modification cannot change the heart.

The problem with sin is that we desire it.

No one will become good or holy by behavior modification.

You are made righteous by the blood of Jesus Christ.

You are being conformed to his image by his power and through relationship with him.

Your life is changed by encountering Jesus.

No one and nothing else has the power to change you.

When we embrace Christ, he fills us with his presence, forgives our sins, and enters into a relationship with us that will last for all eternity.

Colossians 2:9-15

The fullness of Christ given to us is His victory.

The fullness of Christ is his victory over all.

Jesus' sacrifice - his death on the cross and his resurrection - defeated the enemies of God.

1. Our old, sinful nature was put off

2. We were made alive with Christ

3. Our sins were forgiven

4. The charge of our was canceled

5. God's enemies were disarmed

v. 11

Our sinful nature was put off

Paul compares this spiritual truth to the physical act of circumcision.

Circumcision was a physical mark on he bodies of Jewish males that they were the people of God's covenant.

It should that they were God's set people, set apart from the rest of humanity.

Spiritually circumcised in Christ.

Christ separates our sins from us.

Our old, sinful self is removed by Jesus' death.

In our struggle against sin, we are to remember this, that our old sinful nature that used to have complete power over us is dead.

Romans 6:5-11

When we are tempted, we are to remember, the grip of our sinful nature has been broken and we are no longer slaves to sin.

The stranglehold of sin over our lives was broken by Jesus' death.

When Christ died, our sinful nature died.

v. 12-13a

We were made alive with Christ

We were dead in our sins and sinful nature.

Baptism is a picture of Jesus' death and resurrection.

He died and was raised to life again.

Baptism is also a picture of what Jesus has done in our lives.

We were dead in our sins, but in Jesus, our sinful nature died and we were raised to a new life.

This is true in our lives because of our faith in the powerful working of God.

By our faith in Jesus Christ, we share in his death and resurrection.

His physical death and resurrection is shared with us in a spiritual sense.

When Christ died, our sinful nature died.

When Christ was raised, we were raised to new life.

We are new people because of Jesus' death and resurrection.

v. 13b

Our sins were forgiven

The word used for sin is "trespass" is "paraptoma", literally to fall aside, misstep or blunder.

It means that we failed God's path for us.

But our constant failure to follow God has been forgiven by God.

Everything that had separated us from God has been forgiven.

v. 14

The charge of our sin was canceled

The code, lit., "handwriting".

It was an indictment of our guilt.

Paul was probably referring to the Roman practice of writing the offense committed by the accused on a board and nailing it above their heads on their crosses.

"With its regulations" - the legal demands of the OT - the holy Law of god - we could never meet its requirements, so it was against us and was opposed to us.

Christ took on himself our offenses and his punishment freed us from our accountability under the law.

"Canceled" literally, wiped out.

He took it away, nailing it to the cross.

When you feel like a sinner instead of a saint,

When you feel like a failure instead of a conqueror,

Remember that Jesus' work on he cross has canceled your sin and failure.

v. 15

God's enemies were disarmed

"Powers and authorities" are all the spiritual forces of this world that are in rebellion against God.

He disarmed them and made a public spectacle of them.

He triumphed over them by the cross.

Through his death and resurrection, Jesus was victorious over our sin, over death, over the charges against us, and over God's enemies.

Colossians 1:24-29

V. 24a

1. Paul is glad to suffer for the cause of Christ

He's not talking about people reacting to him being annoying.

Paul is so convinced of the supremacy of Christ that he sees the cause of Christ as being worth suffering for.

Jim Elliot, missionary to an Auca Indian settlement in Ecuador.

They spent 3 months getting ready to make contact with a tribe known to be hostile, even violent, to outsiders. People warned the young men about how dangerous their plans to contact the tribe was.

Before he even met any of them, he wrote in his journal,

"I would gladly give my life for these people."

January 8, 1956, Elliot and four others were murdered by the Indian tribe.

Some years later a wife and a sister led a number of the tribe to Jesus Christ.

Jesus said that people should consider the cost of following Him.

Paul and Jim Elliot and countless other followers of Jesus considered the cost and determined,

"I am glad to suffer for Christ."

V.24b

" I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions"

What is missing in Christ's afflictions?

His suffering perfectly fulfilled God's will for Jesus to suffer for us, for the penalty for our sins.

In that regard, the Bible is clear that there is nothing lacking in Christ's suffering. His sacrifice completely satisfied God's wrath.

There is nothing left for us to do but cling to the cross in faith that Jesus' sacrifice is sufficient for me.

I don't need to avoid God when I sin. I don't need to pay some penance.

As the great hymn declares, "Jesus paid it all."

Paul is saying here that just as Jesus suffered for the church, we can expect to suffer for the church as well.

Jesus was the first to suffer for the sake of the church, but he is not the only one called to suffer.

The sufferings endured by God's people are a continuation of Christ's suffering.

In that way, we supplement or complete the suffering of Christ.

The church is built by repeated acts of self-sacrifice of saints and martyrs who followed the example of their savior.

I want to be the kind of Christian who willingly sacrifices time, talent, money - everything - that God's people might be built up.

Not only for God's current people, but also for people who will come to know Christ. I want to be an instrument for the great cause of Christ.

I have considered the cost and found Christ's cause to be worth sacrificing everything.

V. 25 Paul is a servant to the church, appointed by God

Paul's specific calling is apostle and teacher.

But we are all called to serve each other, exercising our gifting, but for the purpose of building each other up.

I want to be glad to suffer for Christ.

I want to serve to build up his church.

V. 26 - this word that he teaches them is a mystery - something that God kept hidden for millennia.

But now God revealed this mystery that was hidden is now revealed to us.

The mystery is revealed to us and in us.

V. 27 - The mystery is revealed to us by God's choosing.

This mystery involves the glorious riches of Christ living in you.

Glorious riches - that we have in Christ (from God it is forgiveness, grace, and mercy. In us it is changed hearts, renewed minds, changed lives. We are declared not guilty, but righteous. We are set apart as saints. We become priests of the new covenant.

The mystery is that Christ lives within them.

He is living out His life in the individual lives of believers.

Christ is alive in you.

The hope of glory - our salvation and redemption concludes with glory as our reward for believing in and following Christ.

I want to be amazed by the mystery of Christ in me.

V. 28 - Paul says, "I proclaim Christ."

The goal of Paul's teaching is that men and women would be presented to God fully mature in Christ.

V. 29 - Paul struggles, contends, toils, strives.

With Christ's energy, which works powerfully within me.

Paul says he struggles for the sake of Christ, but that it is divine power that works in him, not his own.

I want to fight for Christ's cause with Christ's power within me.

Close.

I want to be glad to suffer for Christ.

I want to serve to build up his church.

I want to be amazed by the mystery of Christ in me.

I want to fight for Christ's cause with Christ's power within me.

Colossians - The Supremacy and Sufficiency of Christ

Jesus Is More Than Enough

Paul wrote to the church in Colosse because of what has been termed, the Colossian heresy.

We don't know exactly what the Colossian heresy was, except by the arguments that Paul made against it.

We have to kind of reverse engineer what the false teaching was.

Over all, the heresy taught that Christ was not enough.

Ceremonialism - had strict rules about what to eat and drink and religious festivals and circumcision - like an extreme form of Judaism

It also had some aspects of something like an early form of Gnosticism

Secret knowledge - of supernatural beings

Asceticism - harsh treatment of the body, perhaps from the idea that what is physical is evil, so you should not take pleasure in physical things.

The Colossian heresy said that Jesus Christ is not enough. You have to be religious about what you eat and drink and about special religious days.

It taught Christ was not enough, you have to follow rules. Do not handle, do not touch. Avoid temptation of physical things.

It taught Christ was not enough, you have to know and worship supernatural beings

Paul would respond in the letter that Jesus Christ is enough.

Jesus is supreme over all and is sufficient for us.

He will argue that in all Jesus' fullness, he fills us.

The key verse:

Colossians 2:9-10

For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.

Paul is going to explain Jesus' relationship to God, his relationship to all creation, and his relationship to the church.

Colossians 1:15-18

V. 15 "Image of the invisible God" - we think of image as a representation or a reflection. Like a picture or a reflection in a mirror is an image of someone, but it is not the person.

Paul does not mean that Jesus is a reflection of God, but that

Christ is the visible expression of the invisible God. He is the manifestation of God.

Christ possesses all the power and authority of God because he is God.

In John 14:9, Jesus said, "anyone who has seen me, has seen the Father."

Hebrews 1:3a, "The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being."

Who is Jesus in relation to God? He is the visible expression of the invisible God.

Who is Jesus in relation to creation?

"The firstborn over all creation"

In Biblical times, firstborn meant not only the first born in time, but the first in importance.

The firstborn son received his father's inheritance.

Here Paul is referring to Jesus' importance over creation.

Jesus is his Father's representative and heir of all creation.

It refers to his place over creation.

Who is Jesus in relation to creation?

Jesus is Lord over all creation - everything that you can see and even over invisible, supernatural powers.

Paul further explain Jesus' Lordship over creation with three prepositional phrases:

V. 16 all things were created by (or in) him - he was the originating center, creation occurred within the sphere of his power.

Through (or by) him - he was the mediating agent through whom the creation came into being.

For him - everything was created for him. He is the end for which all things exist. There no higher reason, no greater purpose than for Jesus Christ.

V. 17 - he is before all things - he existed before everything AND he is higher than all in authority.

"In him all things hold together" - he is both the creator of the universe and it's sustainer.

He actively upholding the universe.

He is the unifying principle of all creation.

Who is Jesus in relation to creation?

Jesus is Lord over all creation. He is creator and sustainer. Creation is by him, through him, and everything is for him.

V. 18 Who is Jesus in relation to the church?

"He is the head of the church"

He is The Lord of every believer and the body as a whole.

He has the authority and the right to guide, rule, and direct my life and yours and our fellowship.

"The beginning" - he created and initiated the church by his blood, he created a new people, cleansed from their sin, accepted by the Father, heirs of glory.

"Firstborn from among the dead" - the first to come from death into true resurrected life.

"So that in everything he might have supremacy" may mean that because of his resurrection from the dead, he has supremacy over both the old creation and to the new as well. His preeminence is universal over all creation and over all God intends in the new heaven and new earth.

Who is Jesus in relation to the church? "He is the head of the church", her reconciler, her peace maker.

Colossians 1:19-23

V. 19 - it was God's will that all His fullness dwell in Jesus. Everything that is God dwells in Jesus.

V. 20 - it was God's will to reconcile everything to himself. Jesus is the mediator that brings God together with all things.

Reconcile is to change - he changed us from enemies of God to friends of God.

"Making peace through his blood" - God made peace, brought peace, even though mankind brought sin and rebellion.

V. 21 - you were once enemies - we were hostile toward God in our thoughts and this was expressed outwardly in evil behavior.

V. 22 - he reconciled us to be holy - set apart. This speaks of how we are cleansed from our sins now, and will be presented to Christ one day.

V. 23 - if you continue in faith - it will be proven genuine. Perseverance is proof of reality.

Who is Jesus in relation to God? He is the visible expression of the invisible God.

Who is Jesus in relation to creation? Jesus is Lord over all creation - he is creator and sustainer, it is all by him, through him, and everything is for him.

Who is Jesus in relation to the church? "He is the head of the church", her reconciler, her peace maker

Paul argues that Jesus is enough. He is the source of all things. He is the one through whom and by whom everything was created.

He is the One for whom everything and everyone was created.

Who is Jesus to you? Is he enough for you?

Have you been looking everywhere else - or to anyone else - to be for you who only Jesus Christ can be?

Tenth Avenue North, By Your Side:

Why are you striving these days

Why are you trying to earn grace

Why are you crying

Let me lift up your face

Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love

Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough

Jesus Christ is more than enough for us.

Colossians is about the supremacy and sufficiency of Christ. It is about the fullness of Christ. It is about how his completeness and fullness. It's also about how Christ's fullness fulfills us.

We will see Paul proclaim the absolute supremacy of Jesus Christ above all things.

He will declare Jesus as The Lord over all creation, the head of the church, the ruler over every power and authority.

Because Christ is Lord over all, He is the rightful ruler over our lives.

Paul will also describe the sufficiency of Christ, that in him is everything we need.

Because Christ is sufficient, he is all we need and we can stop trying to fill up what is missing in our lives. If you have found Jesus Christ, you have found what your life and soul has been missing.

These ideas are found together in a key verse:

Colossians 2:9-10

Jesus Christ is fully God and he fulfills us.

Colossians 1:1-8 introduction, thanksgiving and prayer

V. 1 - Paul was an apostle - by God's will, not his own appointment and, therefore, had the authority to write and correct them.

He had divine authority, a message greater than any human teaching, and a humility that this was not his own wisdom or authority.

Timothy - known to the Colossians. Paul's protege, missionary, pastor. Paul wrote to him as it became clear that he would be killed by the Romans.

V. 2 - "holy and faithful"

Also "saints and believing brethren"

Means "holy" or "set apart" or "dedicated". These are "God's own".

Separate from the world, separated to God.

"Brothers" points to the fellowship, family atmosphere of the church, and the Father we have in common. We are God's family.

"In Christ" very important phrase to Paul. He used it 164 times in his writings.

Speaks of our being united with Christ, somehow in the mystery of God, when Christ died, our old, sinful selves died. When Christ arose, we arose to new life. When Christ ascended, we too ascended into glory. when Christ is given his inheritance, we will share it with him.

If we could understand all the meaning of this two-word phrase, we would never lack, nor fear, nor seek empty pursuits again.

"Grace and peace". Grace denotes the favor of God.

Peace in the Scripture is more than absence of conflict. It refers to a wholeness.

V. 3 - "we thank God" Thank God for his goodness to you.

Paul writes how our attitudes should continually reflect thankfulness to God because he has done so much for us.

He is the one thanked, not the believers, because if there is any virtue in the lives of the believes, God did it.

V. 4. Paul gives thanks because of the Colossians' faith in Christ Jesus and love for fellow believers.

Faith is a dependence on Christ. It is an anchoring in, or resting on Jesus. It is a reliance on Christ.

"Love" is the fruit of faith. It is the proof of genuine faith. A sacrificing love for each other.

V. 5. "Faith... love... Hope" found together, inter-related. Hope in Christ leads to faith and love.

Hope is a glorious reward, like a treasure, stored up in heaven.

Knowledge of this hope came from the gospel.

The gospel is "truth". Reminiscent of Christ's word's "I am the way, the truth, and the life."

V. 6. "All over the world", not that the gospel had been heard all over the world, but that it had taken hold in every society, demographic, religious background that it was preached. It is relevant in every society.

The gospel is "bearing fruit and growing" it was spreading and had an impact on the lives of people who believed.

V. 7. "You heard it from Epaphras"

Paul must not have ever been in Colossae. Epaphras brought the gospel there.

He was a native of Colossae. He may have become a Christian when Paul was in nearby Ephesus.

He also ministered in Laodicea and Hieropolis. He was imprisoned for the cause of Christ.

Epaphras visited Paul in Rome, while Paul was under house arrest there in about A.D. 60. Epaphras told Paul what was going on in Colossae, which prompted this letter.

V. 8. "Love in the Spirit" a love for fellow believers, which was an expression of their relationship with the Holy Spirit.

Colossians 1:9-14

V. 9. Our prayers for others are a test of our dedication to God and our love for others.

Paul prays that they be so filled with the knowledge of God's will that they will live in a way that is worthy and pleasing to him.

Knowledge should lead to life change. This is not just for options, but obedience.

Knowing God's will should cause us to want to live in a way that pleases him.

We should not be indifferent to what God's will is, but want to know and follow it.

V. 10.

We are called to live a worthy life in

-fruitfulness (10b),

-growth in the knowledge of God (10c),

-endurance and patience (11), and

-gratitude to God (12).

Paul prays for this because this requires our attention and God's power. If this just happened, Paul would not pray for it.

This is a struggle for us.

It is only possible when we pursue God for it and He empowers us by His Spirit.

Knowledge of God and His will - deep comprehension of Who God is, understanding what pleases him. Deep, complete, personal knowledge that is learned through a vibrant, personal relationship with him.

Bearing fruit - present tense, meaning continually.

Active worship of God, active service for others, active growth as a believer.

V. 11. "Strengthened with all power." The power of God at work in us. In Eph., a Paul said this power in us is like the power that brought Jesus back from the dead.

This is not by our own effort, but on a dependence on God's strength.

Patience and endurance - are passive in our language, but active in Greek, hinting at fortitude or strength.

Vv. 12-13. Gratitude - is the final virtue of a worthy life.

It is a recognition that whatever is going on in our lives, we have received an abundance from God.

However great our troubles, our blessings are always greater.

Four reasons to thank God

-He qualified us to share a glorious inheritance.

-He rescued us from the dominion of darkness.

-He brought us into the Kingdom of His Son.

-He has redeemed us and forgiven our sin.

We are all leaving a legacy. We will leave a legacy at work, at school, in our communities. But the biggest impact, the greatest legacy you leave will be in your own family.

Last week: You have to work together to build a legacy

Ephesians 5:24-33

A man's live for his wife is to be a reflection of Jesus' love for his church.

Too often we read verse 25 and immediately jump on the sacrificial part and come up with a list of things we can do for our wives.

“What is the motivation?”

Are you trying to butter her up or build her up?

Buttering her up is manipulation. It's ultimately not sacrificial, nor selfless. It's about you.

Building her up is a selfless demonstration of love.

Christ loves her;

her image was stamped on his heart

her name graven on his hands;

he desired to have her for his companion,

longing for a return of her affection, for the establishment of sympathy between her and him.

he gave himself for her

showing that her welfare was dearer to him than his own - the true test of deep, real love.

The goal is not just to treat her well so that she'll treat you well.

The goal is to help her be all that God has for her.

The way that you speak to her.

The unconditional love you show her.

The way you provide, protect, and lovingly lead her creates an environment for her to blossom to be all that God created her to be.

The husband's role in the home is to provide loving leadership.

Leadership is not a right to command and control as one might in a military setting. Author and pastor of Bethlehem Bible Church in Minneapolis, Minn., John Piper:

"Headship is God's calling on a husband for Christ-like

- servant leadership,

- protection and

- provision."

In God's hierarchy, leaders serve.

Matthew 23:11

Jesus says, "The greatest among you will be your servant."

Christ demonstrated servant leadership.

The wife gets to submit and the husband gets to die.

We are all leaving a legacy. We will leave a legacy at work, at school, in our communities. But the biggest impact, the greatest legacy you leave will be in your own family.

Paul desired two things for the Ephesians:

1. For them to grasp what Jesus is doing for them and in them, and

2. For their lives to be changed because of it.

His thesis for his letters is often, here's all that Jesus has accomplished for us. He's lavished love on us, forgiven us, sacrificed himself for us, is at work within us, adopted us as sons and daughters, brought peace to us, and much more...

Now live a life that reflects what he's done.

Live in purity. Live a life characterized by love. Forgive each other. Sacrifice for each other. Live in unity.

Understanding what Jesus has done for me transforms how I live.

Live out the legacy of Christ that you received - make it your legacy.

So Jesus' legacy is us.

We are the fruit of his work, faithfulness, his teaching, his obedience, his death.

We are recipients of his righteousness, his forgiveness, his sacrifice.

Jesus calls us to live out his legacy.

Ephesians 5:21

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

The Greek word (hypotassos) means to put under.

To submit means I put my interests after yours.

It means that we show other people preference over our own desires.

It is the opposite of haughty and selfish.

This is what Christ did for us.

He had no need for suffering, but we needed him to suffer.

Jesus put our needs ahead of his own.

He is our inspiration and our role model.

it is done out of reverence, respect, or honor to Christ.

Out of respect for Christ, I give your interests 1st place over mine.

If you are truly following Jesus, you will be a servant to others - a foot washer.

Show Jesus honor by putting the needs of others ahead of your own.

Ask your family, "what can I do for you?"

At PK, one of the speakers asked his wife and kids two questions.

"What do you need from me?" and "How am I doing?"

If you do it and follow through, this will change your relationships.

Ephesians 5:22-23

The wife is called on specifically to submit to her husband.

"As to The Lord" means out of honor to Jesus, submit to your husband.

In the Bible, the man is the spiritual head of the home and the wife should acknowledge his leadership.

What does submission look like?

Respect your husband with your words and attitude

The way you talk to him, the way you talk about him.

The way you choose to either cooperate with him or work against him

It is not wrestling for control

It is not belittling your husband

Mark 3:25

If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

I took this verse completely out of context - Jesus was being accused of driving out demons by power from Satan. So he pointed out how ridiculous it was.

But it applies here nonetheless.

A home needs a leader. In the Scriptures, that role and responsibility falls to the husband. You cannot be constantly wrestling over control.

If you are constantly at war over who wins, you will leave a legacy of confusion and misdirection.

You have to work together - as one - to raise children.

You have to work together - as one - to manage your finances.

You have to work together to build a home of love, peace, grace, warmth, refuge

You have to work together to build a legacy

Ephesians 5:24-33

In God's hierarchy, leaders serve. Jesus says, "The greatest among you will be your servant" (Matthew 23:11, NIV). Christ demonstrated servant leadership.

Leadership is not a right to command and control as one might in a military setting. Author and pastor of Bethlehem Bible Church in Minneapolis, Minn., John Piper:

"Headship is God's calling on a husband to take responsibility for Christ-like servant leadership, protection and provision in the home."

"The wife gets to submit and the husband gets to die."

I Samuel 2:12-17

I Samuel 2:22-25

Eli was high priest and his sons ministered as priests. But they made people's offerings about themselves instead of God. Eli threatened, but did very little. God spelled out his expectation, gave warning, spelled out the consequences for their disobedience and then carried out his discipline against them and their father, Eli.

Eli's (lacking) discipline against his sons

- Gave warning, but had no follow through

The lack of parental discipline ruined a family - not just the sons.

God's discipline against Eli's sons

-Set expectations

-Gave warning

-Stated consequences

-Carried out discipline

God carried out judgment against Eli's sons for their disrespect, and against Eli for not disciplining his sons. God held Eli accountable for his responsibility to be a parent.

Proverbs 3:11, 12

My son, do not despise the Lord ’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

Discipline is an act of love.

-It shows kids that you care about them.

-It develops their ability to relate to other people and to God.

Three kinds of Parenting:

a. Permissive Parenting – loving, accepting, but not holding standards

b. Authoritarian Parenting – heavy on rules, accountability, punishment, but light on love, encouragement, focus on the quality of relationship.

c. Authoritative Parenting – brings the strengths of both, provides structure, rules, firmness, accountability, but balanced with encouragement, the relationship, etc.

Christian parents are images to God, to relate God’s righteousness, holiness, and children respond to parents who are balanced images of God.

4 Stages of Parenting

- Discipline Years (1-5)

- Training Years (5-12)

- Coaching Years. (12-18)

- Friendship Years (18+)

You cannot do friendship first.

Kids need someone to be in charge of them until they have the wisdom and discipline to be in charge of themselves.

Discipline Years

Discipline should be

- Consistent

- Progressive

- Private punishment

- Done in love

The days are long, but years are short.

Training and Coaching Years

You can't address every little thing with your kids.

What to address:

- Disobedience

- Dishonesty

- Disrespect

Don't bail. Let 'em fail.

We all feel protective of our kids and there will be times that we need to step out and be their advocate, but...

Kids need to figure out how to deal with difficult people.

They need to learn how to respond to unfair circumstances.

They need to figure out that their sins have consequences.

The stakes are MUCH lower at 8 than at 18.

They will not know how to be an adult if they've had no experience.

Teach them to listen to God.

Let them pray about and make their own decisions

Speak to them about God's calling on their lives and His purpose.

Psalm 127:3, 4

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.

There are children growing up without any aim. No one has any expectations of them because the adults around them have either left or are so caught up in their own world that the child is ignored for the most part.

Generations have grown up feeling abandoned, forgotten. Dads not around. Or parents too busy. Says to them, "you're unimportant."

The emerging generation is the result of growing up in a self-focused world. The result of this is that a large percent of children grew up spending a great deal of time alone or were abused or shuffled off to the side as their parents pursued their own interests. This led to a cynical, lonely, hurt generation with longings for community, healing and fullness. John Burke, No Perfect People

The number of children living in single-parent homes has nearly doubled since 1960, according to data from the 2010 Census. Today, 35% of American children – a total of 15 million – are being raised without a father. Nearly five million more children live without a mother. The majority of black children nationwide – 54 percent – are being raised by single mothers.

Children without fathers are much more likely to grow up in poverty. While married couples with children enjoy an average income of $80,000, single mothers average only $24,000.

Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.

When men leave, children suffer. Period.

Leaves women to be provider and caretaker and its too much for anyone.

Single parents are becoming the greatest population of unchurched people in the US. Usually no fathers, no influence from the church.

50% of children are growing up in single parent homes.

More in some populations. Black families, the number is over 70%.

Boys without a father model grow up to men who don't know how to be a husband or a father.

Children are sometimes abandoned or brushed off to the side even in families where both mon and dad are around.

There are times that we brush off our children, demonstrating to them that we don't have time for them.

That communicates to a child that they are unimportant.

The wounds that those kids carry can last a lifetime, looking for someone to fill in the empty place that they're parents left. It leads to girls who are looking for boys to make them feel significant.

What hope is there for that child who is now an adult, looking for their emptiness to be filled? Their hope is the God who has loved them their whole lives, the God who has seen every tear and heard every cry.

Psalm 68:4-6

Sing to God, sing praises to his name; lift up a song to him who rides through the deserts; his name is the Lord; exult before him! Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

Jesus, in the NT, is the one who leaves the 99 to find the wandering lost one.

He is the one, the only one with love for you that will finally satisfy your wandering, thirsty soul.

He said to the woman at the well who had had 6 men in her life....

John 4:13, 14

Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

We've talked about the brokenness of children being treated like they're unimportant.

There's been a knee-jerk reaction in our society against this abandonment of children that the child is all-important.

Children have become the center of some families.

In some families, children are in charge.

Both are wrong, both are damaging.

One says, "you are unimportant."

The other says, "you're all important."

When children are more important than marriages, marriages suffer.

When marriages suffer, children suffer.

One of the most important things a dad can do for his children is to love their mom.

One of the most important things a mom can do for her children is to love their dad.

Your children are learning what God is like by what they observe in you.

That's an incredible responsibility.

Your child is learning from you how to relate to God by how they relate to you.

It's so important that we treat our children with the same intention as God treats us.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

We are to teach our children how to love God.

They will relate to God how they relate to you.

Next week, we'll talk about disciplining children.