"All it took was a mislaid spark
To burn, to the dirt, the park:
Should you smell smoke after dark--
It's from a cigar--his trade fucking mark."
Do the right thing and you'll stay free, steal Zeebo's goddamn nose and the punishment will be weighty, so call up your boy Weegee and apologize for being pissy!
Like Blake and his leper colony in John Carpenter's THE FOG, By Campfire, We Conspire-
Tonight, one will choose to partake in ill advised pinball, the other fucks with a house of mirrors in the Laughing in the Dark clown cursed hall.
If you lose the game, you lose your life, if you steal his nose, you'll invite such strife.
It may feel foolish to play an endless game, but if you steal a clown's goddamn nose, it is your red headed a-hole self he will blame.
It is time to stroll the floors of an ominous mall; make Weegee wear Zeebo's nose though Josh will take the fstars fall!
Good Evening, Match Scratchers!
"When midnight chimes, we both will meet,
Podcasting slick, sick tales to scare;
Master your fear, stoke dying heat--
Embrace the coal's glowing orange glare."
Welcome to CAMPFIRE SCARYTALES, where our campsite will affright till morning light.
If you once enjoyed, still enjoy or will enjoy henceforth, and in perpetuity, Nickelodeon's very own Are You Afraid of the Dark? broadcast that terrified tot and teen alike in the early 90's, then you will feel right at home on the forsaken rocks, atop the speaker's stone throne while occupying temporary, nocturnal space in this chillingly convenient clearing where fellow match scratchers meet to pour tales of terror upon an open flame. These terrifying testimonies are far from tame, the most unnerving, unsettling and upsetting scarytale wins the game and striking matches, along with striking deeply into your core fear gland, proves their aim.
If you're soon too frightened or anxious to sleep, if you intend to scream but can nary muster a peep, if your once spry movements retard to a lumbering creep, in becoming a slave to your fears, you have but yourself to blame.
Between midnight and first light we meet, our appetites prepped for delicious tales of fright, in your own unease, crawling skin, tingled spine and sweaty brow we take delight, it will be hours before you can see anything beyond our proximal campfire light, our weekly night light, we cleared, constructed and consecrated this campsite, in our Match Scratch Society we revel in delight, it is both our sacred and unholy duty to, your fears, incite, this cold cord of wood ignite--your amygdala affright, if, by some miraculous design, you survive the scarytale of the night, then it is your solemn Campfire Scarytale duty to find your Match Scratcher ass back to this haunted hollow with your own flashlight!
Today, you are tricked or treated, depending on your point of voodoo with our thirteenth submission tale of terror. Strike a match and, a new batch of dismaying, fears and anxieties not allaying, tales hatch; the goal is to, the last told tale, outmatch and leave the loser, to the victor, begging for a rematch…with that Match Scratchers, sleep deeply and remember to, your bedroom window, latch.
Podcasted for the Auditory Approval of the Match Scratch Society, we whisper, through the mic, our fireside submission, sometime between midnight and first light of Campfire Scarytales: Submission 13: Dark Pinball Laughing Wizard Society--An Unlocked Door and a High Pinball Score (Cigar Smoke at the Park and a Broke Pinball Shark); (Pinball Wizard/Laughing in the Dark)
-Your host: That's Falsetto, No Mr. accent on the to and co-host: Dr. Red Devil with a REH REH REH
Until next time, Match Scratchers!
(Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Surrender, courtesy of the artist, Asher Fulero, with a medley of sound effects added for, you guessed it, effect.
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By Falsetto Prophet"All it took was a mislaid spark
To burn, to the dirt, the park:
Should you smell smoke after dark--
It's from a cigar--his trade fucking mark."
Do the right thing and you'll stay free, steal Zeebo's goddamn nose and the punishment will be weighty, so call up your boy Weegee and apologize for being pissy!
Like Blake and his leper colony in John Carpenter's THE FOG, By Campfire, We Conspire-
Tonight, one will choose to partake in ill advised pinball, the other fucks with a house of mirrors in the Laughing in the Dark clown cursed hall.
If you lose the game, you lose your life, if you steal his nose, you'll invite such strife.
It may feel foolish to play an endless game, but if you steal a clown's goddamn nose, it is your red headed a-hole self he will blame.
It is time to stroll the floors of an ominous mall; make Weegee wear Zeebo's nose though Josh will take the fstars fall!
Good Evening, Match Scratchers!
"When midnight chimes, we both will meet,
Podcasting slick, sick tales to scare;
Master your fear, stoke dying heat--
Embrace the coal's glowing orange glare."
Welcome to CAMPFIRE SCARYTALES, where our campsite will affright till morning light.
If you once enjoyed, still enjoy or will enjoy henceforth, and in perpetuity, Nickelodeon's very own Are You Afraid of the Dark? broadcast that terrified tot and teen alike in the early 90's, then you will feel right at home on the forsaken rocks, atop the speaker's stone throne while occupying temporary, nocturnal space in this chillingly convenient clearing where fellow match scratchers meet to pour tales of terror upon an open flame. These terrifying testimonies are far from tame, the most unnerving, unsettling and upsetting scarytale wins the game and striking matches, along with striking deeply into your core fear gland, proves their aim.
If you're soon too frightened or anxious to sleep, if you intend to scream but can nary muster a peep, if your once spry movements retard to a lumbering creep, in becoming a slave to your fears, you have but yourself to blame.
Between midnight and first light we meet, our appetites prepped for delicious tales of fright, in your own unease, crawling skin, tingled spine and sweaty brow we take delight, it will be hours before you can see anything beyond our proximal campfire light, our weekly night light, we cleared, constructed and consecrated this campsite, in our Match Scratch Society we revel in delight, it is both our sacred and unholy duty to, your fears, incite, this cold cord of wood ignite--your amygdala affright, if, by some miraculous design, you survive the scarytale of the night, then it is your solemn Campfire Scarytale duty to find your Match Scratcher ass back to this haunted hollow with your own flashlight!
Today, you are tricked or treated, depending on your point of voodoo with our thirteenth submission tale of terror. Strike a match and, a new batch of dismaying, fears and anxieties not allaying, tales hatch; the goal is to, the last told tale, outmatch and leave the loser, to the victor, begging for a rematch…with that Match Scratchers, sleep deeply and remember to, your bedroom window, latch.
Podcasted for the Auditory Approval of the Match Scratch Society, we whisper, through the mic, our fireside submission, sometime between midnight and first light of Campfire Scarytales: Submission 13: Dark Pinball Laughing Wizard Society--An Unlocked Door and a High Pinball Score (Cigar Smoke at the Park and a Broke Pinball Shark); (Pinball Wizard/Laughing in the Dark)
-Your host: That's Falsetto, No Mr. accent on the to and co-host: Dr. Red Devil with a REH REH REH
Until next time, Match Scratchers!
(Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Surrender, courtesy of the artist, Asher Fulero, with a medley of sound effects added for, you guessed it, effect.