Like Blake and his leper colony in John Carpenter's
THE FOG, By Campfire, We Conspire-
Tonight if you see smoke from your burning roast,
that's not, by culinary design but a fuc**** fire ghost and this ghostly gal is so beside herself she is backwards!
Good Evening, Match Scratchers!
"When midnight chimes, we both will meet,
Podcasting slick, sick tales to scare;
Master your fear, stoke dying heat--
Embrace the coal's glowing orange glare."
Falsetto, No Mr. accent on the to.
Welcome to CAMPFIRE SCARYTALES, where our campsite
will affright till morning light.
If you once enjoyed, still enjoy or will enjoy
henceforth, and in perpetuity, Nickelodeon's very own Are You Afraid of the Dark? broadcast that terrified tot
and teen alike in the early 90's, then you will feel right at home on the forsaken rocks, atop the speaker's stone throne while occupying temporary, nocturnal space in this chillingly convenient clearing where fellow match scratchers
meet to pour tales of terror upon an open flame. These terrifying testimonies are far from tame, the most unnerving, unsettling and upsetting scarytale wins the game and striking matches, along with striking deeply into your core fear gland, proves their aim. If you're soon too frightened or anxious to sleep, if you intend to scream but can nary muster a peep, if your once spry movements
retard to a lumbering creep, in becoming a slave to your fears, you have but yourself to blame.
Between midnight and first light we meet, our
appetites prepped for delicious tales of fright, in your own unease, crawling skin, tingled spine and sweaty brow we take delight, it will be hours before you can see anything beyond our proximal campfire light, our weekly night light, we cleared, constructed and consecrated this campsite, in our Match
Scratch Society we revel in delight, it is both our sacred and unholy duty to, your fears, incite, this cold cord of wood ignite--your amygdala affright, if, by some miraculous design, you survive the scarytale of the night, then it is your solemn Campfire Scarytale duty to find your Match Scratcher ass back to this haunted hollow with your own flashlight!
Today, you are tricked or treated, depending on your
point of voodoo with our third submission tale of terror. Between midnight and first light, strike a match and, a new batch of dismaying, fears and anxieties not allaying, tales hatch; the goal is to, the last told tale, outmatch and leave the loser, to the victor, begging for a rematch…with that Match
Scratchers, sleep deeply and remember to, your bedroom window, latch.
Podcasted for the Auditory Approval of the Match
Scratch Society, we whisper, through the mic, our fireside submission, sometime between midnight and first light of Campfire Scarytales: Submission 3: The Backwards Matchstick
Society--Fire Detection and a Dire Reflection (Unknown Firelight and Her Lone Flashlight); (Fire Ghost/Lonely Ghost)
Your host: That's Falsetto, No Mr. accent on the to
and co-host: Dr. Red Devil with a REH REH REH
Until next time, Match Scratchers!
Remember, only you can prevent forest fires, call
out Campfire Scarytale imposters and disloyal match scratcher liars!
(Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Surrender, courtesy of the artist, Asher Fulero, with a
medley of sound effects added for, you guessed it, effect.
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