May 12, 2020

Can the Tough Lessons of Separation and Divorce Help You During COVID-19: Lessons From a Divorce Coach with Pegotty Cooper, Founder of CDC Divorce Training

40 minutes

During these unprecedented times in which we find ourselves, many of us are dealing with difficult emotions like overwhelm and uncertainty, along with confronting many life changes. For those who have been through a divorce or a separation, these feelings are all too familiar. So, could we take the tough lessons we learned from the end of our relationships and apply them to our current circumstances? Today's guest, Pegotty Cooper, renowned divorce coach and founder of CDC Divorce Training, joins us to talk about some of the parallels between divorce and the COVID-19 crisis. In this episode, we learn about what divorce coaches do and how they walk the road with their clients. During times of stress, it’s easy to be one-track minded, so divorce coaches help clients see the bigger picture. While there is no doubt that divorce or separation is extremely difficult, it is important to look to the future. By having a vision and focusing on one small thing to get through, it’s possible to use this time to find balance, albeit on a different ground than before. Along with this, we also discuss hot buttons and diffusing conflicts, best-self exercises you can utilize when things are difficult, and the importance of being interest-based rather than positional during a divorce or separation. We learned so much from Pegotty, and we know you will too. Be sure to tune in today! Key Points From This Episode: • Some of the parallels between divorce and separation and COVID-19. • How Pegotty is dealing with this situation and how she’s choosing to reframe it positively. • Pegotty’s background and how large personal losses brought her to divorce coaching. • Insights into divorce coaching, how it works, and the support it offers clients. • How divorce coaches differ from advisors and mediators. • Find out what happens to the brain during conflict and why conflict can be cyclical. • ‘Hot buttons:’ The hard work it takes to understand you and your partners’ triggers. • Pegotty’s take on the best-self exercise, a tool commonly used in divorce coaching. • A tool Peggoty utilizes that includes the best self in a series of quadrants. • Tips on planning for a post-divorce or a post-crisis future and the importance of a grand vision. • A key takeaway from Pegotty’s book that applies to the current times: Five steps to clarity. • How you can use times of uncertainty to find a new balance and a new normal. • Details about Peggoty’s weekly Wednesday webinar. To learn more about Pegotty Cooper or to register at one of her webinars go to www.certifieddivorcecoach. You can order the books mentioned in the episode from the CDC website or from www.amazon.com including Divorce: Taking the High Road and Divorce: Overcome the Overwhelm and Avoid the Six Biggest Mistakes Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Pegotty Cooper CDC David Rock's SCARF Model Tammy Lenski Randall R. Cooper Divorce: Overcome the Overwhelm and Avoid the Six Biggest Mistakes Divorce: Taking the High Road The Separation Fix Tweetables: “One of the things I say about divorce is you have three choices, right? You can let it define you, you can let it destroy you or you can let it make you stronger. Now I’m going to go fort the making me stronger. Every time.” — Pegotty Cooper [0:04:37] “A divorce coach is really a thinking partner and a sounding board, somebody that really has a different perspective on what’s going on and so they can help the clients see that maybe there is a different perspective.” — Pegotty Cooper [0:08:47] “Sometimes we need to remind ourselves and we need to have reminders and we need to remind our clients that they are really competent and confident and courageous.” — Pegotty Cooper [0:26:18] “You have to put the stake in the ground in the midst of all of the uncertainty.” — Pegotty Cooper [0:36:59]

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