Waiting is hard. And if I’m being truthful, I’m discovering that I’m not very good at it.

My cancer journey has felt like one long series of “hurry up and wait.” I waited for answers, surgery, and pathology results. Now, even with good news, I’m waiting again—for treatment and for what comes next.

But cancer isn’t the only place I’m waiting.

There are prayers I’ve prayed for years. There are relationships I’m still asking God to restore. There are places in my life where I know God is writing the story—I just can’t see what the next chapter looks like yet.

Maybe you’re there too.

In Episode 14 of Cancer Wasn’t Part of the Plan, “The Waiting Is Still Part of the Story,” we’re talking about what happens in that uncomfortable space between where we’ve been and where we’re going.

I call it the hallway.

And here’s what I’m learning: God is not absent in the hallway.

Waiting doesn’t mean God has stopped working. It doesn’t mean He has forgotten you. And it certainly doesn’t mean your story is over.

Sometimes what looks like a period to us is actually just a comma in the hands of the Author.

We’ll talk about Isaiah 40:31, what it really means to wait on the Lord, why trusting God is a choice rather than a feeling, and how God uses these in-between seasons to deepen our relationship with Him.

Perhaps the prayer we need in a waiting season isn’t simply, “God, get me out of here.”

Maybe it’s:

“God, don’t let me miss what You’re doing now while I’m waiting for what You’re going to do then.”

If you’re tired of waiting on God, this episode is for you.

🎙️ Cancer Wasn’t Part of the Plan with Dr. Deb Waterbury
Episode 14: The Waiting Is Still Part of the Story

Follow the podcast so you don’t miss an episode, and share this one with someone who is living in the hallway right now.

Does God still love me when I’m not handling life very well?

Not the strong version of me. Not the faith-filled, Scripture-quoting, encouraging-everybody-else version.

The exhausted me.
The afraid me.
The angry me.
The woman who cried again, worried again, doubted again—or Googled the thing she promised herself she wouldn’t Google. 😏

In Episode 13 of Cancer Wasn’t Part of the Plan, “Deeply Loved on My Worst Day,” Dr. Deb Waterbury talks about one of the hardest truths to believe when life falls apart: God’s love for us does not rise and fall with our performance.

Walking through cancer, illness, grief, disappointment, or any season that strips away your strength can make you wonder whether God is disappointed in you. But Romans 8:38–39 gives us an extraordinary promise: nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.

In this episode, we’ll talk about:

• Why your circumstances are not evidence of how much God loves you
• What to do when you know God loves you but don’t feel loved
• Why your weakness doesn’t disappoint God
• The danger of turning God’s love into a spiritual performance review
• Why you can bring your fear, anger, questions, and exhaustion honestly to God
• How cancer can change the way you see yourself—and why your diagnosis is never your deepest identity
• What it means to be able to say with Paul, “I am persuaded.”

Before a doctor ever spoke a diagnosis over you, God had already spoken beloved over you.

Your diagnosis didn’t cancel it.
Your scars didn’t cancel it.
Your fear didn’t cancel it.
Your questions didn’t cancel it.
And your worst day cannot cancel what Jesus secured at the cross.

On your best day, you are loved.
On your ordinary day, you are loved.
And on the day when you barely recognize yourself…

You are deeply loved there, too.

📖 Scriptures: Romans 8:38–39; Romans 5:8; Psalm 139; Hebrews 4:16; Lamentations 3:22–23; Ephesians 2:8

If this episode encourages you, share it with someone who needs this reminder today: You do not have to earn the love of God. You are already deeply loved in Christ.

Episode 12 — Survivor’s Guilt: When Good News Feels Complicated

What happens when you finally get the good news you’ve been praying for—and somehow, celebrating it feels complicated?

In Episode 12 of Cancer Wasn’t Part of the Plan, Dr. Deb Waterbury shares a milestone in her own breast cancer journey: her pathology came back clear. No cancer.

There was relief. Gratitude. Joy.

And then something unexpected showed up:

Guilt.

Because while one woman is celebrating a clear report, another is hearing that her cancer has spread. Someone else is facing another surgery, another treatment, or news she desperately hoped she would never receive. And suddenly the question becomes, “Why did I get this outcome when someone else didn’t?”

In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Deb talks about survivor’s guilt, gratitude, grace, and the danger of treating cancer outcomes like spiritual report cards. A good pathology report does not mean God loves one person more—and a devastating report does not mean He loves another person less. Our circumstances are not the measurement of God’s love. The cross is.

You’ll also hear an important reminder: your gratitude is not a betrayal of someone else’s grief. Scripture makes room for both rejoicing and weeping—sometimes even in the same person. You don’t have to apologize for surviving or make your joy smaller to prove that you care about someone else’s pain.

And survival isn’t a debt you have to repay. Grace was never meant to feel like a bill. Instead of spending the rest of our lives asking, “Why me?” perhaps the better question is, “God, what do You want to do with the life I have today?”

If you’ve ever felt guilty about receiving the answer someone else is still praying for—or if you’re still waiting for your own good news—this episode is for you.

Maybe survivor’s guilt can become something different:

Survivor’s gratitude.

Celebrate the gift. Thank God for today. And let your good news make you gentler, more compassionate, and more willing to walk beside someone who is still waiting for hers.

You don’t have to apologize for surviving. But you can allow surviving to change the way you live.

Episode 11 — The Friend Who Disappeared

There are some things you expect cancer to change. Your calendar. Your body. Your plans. Your sense of normal.

But there’s one loss nobody really warns you about:

The people who disappear.

In Episode 11 of Cancer Wasn’t Part of the Plan, Dr. Deb Waterbury talks about the painful reality of relationships during a crisis—the friend you thought would call but doesn’t, the person you expected to check on you who never does, and the unexpected hurt of needing someone who simply isn’t there.

Crisis has a way of revealing relationships. But not everyone who disappears does so because they don’t care. Some people are afraid. Some don’t know what to say. Others simply don’t know how to sit beside suffering. Understanding that may not erase the hurt, but it can help keep disappointment from turning into bitterness.

And you are allowed to admit that it hurt.

Forgiveness doesn’t require pretending something didn’t happen. Grace doesn’t require denying disappointment. Sometimes wisdom means forgiving someone while also recognizing that a relationship has changed. Forgiveness and access are not always the same thing.

Dr. Deb also looks at Paul’s experience in 2 Timothy 4. When no one stood beside him, Paul could still say, “But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me.” Human absence did not equal divine absence.

If cancer—or another difficult season—has changed the way you see some of your relationships, this episode is for you.

Grieve the person who disappeared. But don’t become so focused on the empty chair that you miss the people who stayed. And don’t allow someone else’s failure to teach you to withhold love.

People may fail us. Even people we love. But Jesus stays.

The friend may have disappeared.

Jesus didn’t.

Episode 10 — Looking in the Mirror Again

What happens when you look in the mirror after cancer—and the woman looking back at you somehow feels different?

Maybe surgery changed your body. Maybe treatment changed your hair, weight, energy, or hormones. Maybe there are scars that weren’t there before. Or perhaps nothing dramatic has changed on the outside, but you have changed on the inside.

In Episode 10 of Cancer Wasn’t Part of the Plan, Dr. Deb Waterbury talks honestly about body image, femininity, scars, grief, and learning to see yourself again after cancer.

You are allowed to grieve what has changed. You can be grateful to be alive and still be sad about what cancer has taken from you. Gratitude and grief can exist together.

But the mirror only shows you what you look like. It cannot tell you who you are.

Your value was established long before cancer, surgery, scars, or treatment entered your story. Your femininity was never located in a body part. Your beauty was never dependent on your hair. And your worth has never been determined by a number on a scale.

Dr. Deb also offers a different way to think about the scars cancer leaves behind: a scar isn’t simply evidence that something happened—it can also be evidence that you’re still here.

If you’ve struggled to recognize yourself after cancer, surgery, illness, or treatment, this episode is for you.

Maybe what needs to change isn’t the woman in the mirror.

Maybe it’s the eyes looking at her.

Give her some grace. She’s been through a lot.

The mirror can tell you what has changed. But only God gets to tell you who you are.

Episode 9 — Anger, Tears, and Honest Prayers

What if the most faith-filled prayer you can pray is simply, “God, this hurts”?

Cancer can bring emotions we don’t always know what to do with—anger, fear, disappointment, confusion, and tears. And for Christians, those emotions can sometimes be followed by another feeling: guilt.

Shouldn’t I have more faith? Should I be handling this better? Is it wrong to be angry—even angry with God?

In Episode 9 of Cancer Wasn’t Part of the Plan, Dr. Deb Waterbury tackles the emotions and prayers that don’t always sound polished enough for church.

Through the Psalms, the tears of Jesus, and His honest prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane, Dr. Deb shows that faith doesn’t require you to lie about how you feel. There is a difference between turning away from God in anger and turning toward God with your anger.

You’ll also discover the biblical language of lament—bringing your pain, questions, sorrow, and disappointment honestly before God while still choosing to trust Him. You can cry and trust God. You can be afraid and trust God. You can have unanswered questions and still say, “Jesus, I trust You.”

Dr. Deb offers a simple four-part framework for honest prayer: tell God what hurts, ask Him for what you want, remind yourself who He is, and choose trust—even when nothing has changed yet.

If you’ve been trying to clean yourself up emotionally before coming to God, this episode is for you.

Your tears don’t scare Him. Your questions don’t offend Him. Your anger doesn’t surprise Him.

You don’t have to pretend with God.

Sometimes honest prayer is faith refusing to walk away.

Episode 8 — I Don’t Feel Strong Enough

What happens when you’re tired of being brave?

Tired of appointments. Tired of waiting. Tired of answering, “How are you doing?” when you don’t even know how to answer anymore.

In Episode 8 of Cancer Wasn’t Part of the Plan, Dr. Deb Waterbury speaks to the woman who has quietly wondered, “What if I’m just not strong enough to keep doing this?”

Scripture gives us a surprising answer: God never asked us to manufacture enough strength to carry everything ourselves. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul discovered that God’s power is made perfect in weakness. Weakness isn’t failure. It’s an invitation to depend on the strength of Jesus.

Dr. Deb explores what depending on God can actually look like in the middle of cancer, exhaustion, fear, and uncertainty. Sometimes faith is simply getting out of bed, going to another appointment, praying one more prayer, or reading one verse because that’s all your heart can handle today.

Faith isn’t pretending to be strong. Faith is refusing to let go of the One who is.

If you’re exhausted from trying to hold everything together, this episode is for you.

You don’t have to impress God with your strength. You don’t have to convince Him you’ve got this. He isn’t asking you to manufacture strength—He’s asking you to receive His.

Maybe the answer to “I’m not strong enough” is simply this:

I’m not strong enough—but Jesus is.

Episode 7 — I Was Trusting the Wrong Thing

What if the thing giving you peace wasn’t actually God—but knowing what was going to happen next?

Cancer has a way of stripping away our sense of control. Appointments change. Test results are delayed. Doctors may disagree. Plans disappear overnight. And suddenly, the predictability we once depended on is gone.

In Episode 7 of Cancer Wasn’t Part of the Plan, Dr. Deb Waterbury talks about what uncertainty revealed in her own life: she wasn’t just trusting God—she was also trusting the plan.

But Scripture never promises peace because we know what comes next.

Peace comes from knowing the One who already does.

Drawing from Paul’s words in Philippians 4, Dr. Deb explores what biblical contentment really means. It isn’t pretending you like your circumstances. It doesn’t mean you stop praying for healing, stop crying, or stop wishing things were different. Contentment is something we learn as we discover that Christ is enough—even while we’re still asking questions.

Sometimes God doesn’t give us strength for the next six months. He gives us strength for today—one appointment, one hour, one breath at a time.

If you’re waiting on test results, surgery, a scan, a phone call—or simply an answer that hasn’t come yet—this episode is for you.

You don’t have to know what tomorrow holds to experience God’s faithfulness today.

One day at a time. One promise at a time. One step at a time.

The God who has carried you this far will carry you through whatever comes next.

Episode 6 — Hope That Doesn’t Disappoint

What does hope look like when the news isn’t good, the circumstances haven’t changed, and you’re not sure you even feel hopeful anymore?

In Episode 6 of Cancer Wasn’t Part of the Plan, Dr. Deb Waterbury talks about a hope that is deeper than positive thinking or pretending everything is okay. Biblical hope doesn’t rest in our circumstances. It rests in a Person—Jesus.

And having hope doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to hurt.

You can be grieving and hopeful. Afraid and hopeful. Exhausted and hopeful. Faith doesn’t require you to deny your pain or hold back your tears. Hope is believing that God is present in the middle of them.

Dr. Deb also shares three practical ways to hold onto hope when yours feels weak: stay close to Jesus, remember God’s faithfulness, and allow others to carry hope for you when you don’t have the strength to carry it yourself.

If cancer, loss, grief, or an unexpected season has left you wondering how to keep believing, this episode is for you.

Your hope was never meant to rest in a good medical report, easy circumstances, or predictable outcomes. Your hope is Jesus.

Cancer may be part of your story—but because of Jesus, it is never the end of your story.

Episode 5 — Where Is God When I Don’t Feel Him?

Have you ever prayed and wondered if your words were simply bouncing off the ceiling?

There are seasons—especially in the middle of cancer, loss, disappointment, or uncertainty—when God can feel strangely silent. You pray. You wait. You ask again. And eventually you may begin to wonder, “God, are You even there?”

In Episode 5 of Cancer Wasn’t Part of the Plan, Dr. Deb Waterbury talks honestly about those quiet seasons and one of the most important lessons she is learning: our feelings are valuable indicators of what is happening inside us, but they are not always reliable indicators of what is true.

God’s silence does not mean God’s absence.

Through Scripture and her own experience with cancer and other painful circumstances, Dr. Deb explores what it means to trust God when you cannot feel His presence. Sometimes the silence itself becomes the place where trust grows—where what we have learned about God becomes something we actually have to lean on.

The challenge is not to allow our circumstances to rewrite God’s character. Instead, we learn to interpret our circumstances through what we know to be true about God. His character does not fluctuate with our emotions, and His promises do not disappear because today happens to be a hard day.

If you’re in a quiet season right now—if cancer feels too big, your prayers seem unanswered, or God simply feels far away—this episode is for you.

Keep praying. Keep leaning in. Feel what you feel, but hold tightly to what you know.

Feelings change. Circumstances change. God never changes.