How many Caterinas is a sufficient number of Caterinas? What’s the appropriate length of a baby Jesus arm?  Is John of Austria the worst? Does a REAL Catholic uncontrollably vomit?

These are the questions we’ll tackle together in order to dig into the beginning of Michaelangelo Merisi’s life and career!  That, and, I butcher Italian names, recklessly valuate the scudo, and justify the imprisonment of homeless people on a moated island (sorta). Manner-isn’t…amirite…?