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Caregiving as a PDAer
After an extended break from recording, Marni and Chris return in episode 11 to talk about the reason for the gap: caregiving. Chris shares about supporting their friend and mentor, Michael M. Piechowski. The conversation moves from Chris’s specific experience into a wider exploration of what caregiving asks of PDAers, why the “selfish PDAer” stereotype gets it so wrong, and how the demands of caregiving land differently when they’re ones you’ve chosen.
Chris and Marni discuss how PDAers they know are often deeply giving and compassionate caregivers, and Marni introduces Rabbi Shoshana’s circle of arrows model—where demands are imagined as arrows from outside a safe inner circle—as a way of understanding how the people we invite into our circle change the shape of caregiving entirely. They sit with the difference between caregiving for infants and elders, the importance of receiving care gracefully, and the cultural lie of full independence that Disability Studies has helped Marni name.
The conversation also turns personal. Chris reflects on the contrast between caregiving for Michael now and being unable to be present for their father at the end of his life, and how watching their mother care for their father shaped what they later grew into. They talk about intellectual overexcitability as both a complication and a gift in caregiving, the identity rupture of new parenthood, and how interoception and embodiment have changed what they can offer over the past two decades. And they close with Michael’s own wisdom about cyclical dark times, staying present, and taking care of yourself.
* Rabbi Shoshana’s circle of arrows model
* Marni’s piece on the teenage years
Connect With Us
Wandering Brightly with Marni Kammersell
Positive Disintegration with Chris Wells
PDA: Resistance and Resilience on Substack
Follow us on Instagram
If you enjoyed this episode on Apple or Spotify, please remember to click on the stars and leave a rating or write a review. Thank you!
Get full access to PDA: Resistance and Resilience at pdapodcast.substack.com/subscribe
View all episodes
By Marni Kammersell and Chris WellsAfter an extended break from recording, Marni and Chris return in episode 11 to talk about the reason for the gap: caregiving. Chris shares about supporting their friend and mentor, Michael M. Piechowski. The conversation moves from Chris’s specific experience into a wider exploration of what caregiving asks of PDAers, why the “selfish PDAer” stereotype gets it so wrong, and how the demands of caregiving land differently when they’re ones you’ve chosen.
Chris and Marni discuss how PDAers they know are often deeply giving and compassionate caregivers, and Marni introduces Rabbi Shoshana’s circle of arrows model—where demands are imagined as arrows from outside a safe inner circle—as a way of understanding how the people we invite into our circle change the shape of caregiving entirely. They sit with the difference between caregiving for infants and elders, the importance of receiving care gracefully, and the cultural lie of full independence that Disability Studies has helped Marni name.
The conversation also turns personal. Chris reflects on the contrast between caregiving for Michael now and being unable to be present for their father at the end of his life, and how watching their mother care for their father shaped what they later grew into. They talk about intellectual overexcitability as both a complication and a gift in caregiving, the identity rupture of new parenthood, and how interoception and embodiment have changed what they can offer over the past two decades. And they close with Michael’s own wisdom about cyclical dark times, staying present, and taking care of yourself.
* Rabbi Shoshana’s circle of arrows model
* Marni’s piece on the teenage years
Connect With Us
Wandering Brightly with Marni Kammersell
Positive Disintegration with Chris Wells
PDA: Resistance and Resilience on Substack
Follow us on Instagram
If you enjoyed this episode on Apple or Spotify, please remember to click on the stars and leave a rating or write a review. Thank you!
Get full access to PDA: Resistance and Resilience at pdapodcast.substack.com/subscribe