When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change
I wrote and posted this online:
Howard was 52 and was kind, funny, attractive, gregarious and financially secure. He was a semi retired banker, a Harvard MBA with a law degree, who had been blessed with many friends and who had enjoyed the company of beautiful women that he had really liked, but he had never married. It was always his desire to find his soul mate and marry, but it had just never happened. He had never even lived with a woman. Now he was thinking it might never happen and being discouraged he had not dated in a year. He sat down at his desk and decided he would try one last thing; he would “put it out to the Universe” that he was ready to find her…
Six months earlier I had broken up with a man who would rather see me dead than let me leave the house; for fear that I would leave him. Why did I always attract the dangerous sort? From the time I was 15 my life has been a continuous series of abusive relationships with men. I had always been attracted to the charismatic, womanizing, death defying sort. They were always dead broke or incapable of supporting themselves. I loved the adventure, the intrigue and the challenge of staying alive but it came at a terrible cost to my health and my sanity. At the age of 41, I didn’t know how much of either I had left.
I had always had trouble with my weight and given how little I eat and the way I eat, I had finally decided it was all in my head, and went to see a hypnotherapist. It was in this semi somnolent state that I discovered I always seek out the same relationships. Waking, I decided to make a conscious effort to change my choices in men. If he seemed daring, cavalier or dark, in any way, I would avoid him and seek out someone who was kind, funny and financially secure…
When I first saw Howard he was dressed in a plain grey business suit and was stiffly walking up the ramp to a fundraiser for a new initiative to save tens of thousands of dogs and cats from being euthanized in our county’s shelter each year. I remember thinking to myself, “I could sure loosen him up a bit!” Hearing my footsteps behind him, he turned and kindly asked if I was attending this same function.
He was everything I had never looked for in a man. I was everything he had never looked for in a woman. The night we met was November 1, 2002. Six months later we moved in together. We were engaged a year after meeting and married two years after meeting. We have found all that we wanted in each other and together our lives are far more abundant than they were before. I have never been so happy, so satisfied or so thrilled to be alive!
Howie is my best male friend. He is my business partner. He has helped me find ways to make the sanctuary self supporting. He has been loving, attentive, fun; a real joy to be around. We understand The Secret and we are co-creating a beautiful life together.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. We both changed the way we looked for love and romance and found what we really wanted.
I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views. If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story. The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/
I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story. My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.
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