A not-for-profit parody version of 'You Raise Me Up' using a paid for backing track from karaoke-version.co.uk.

Staying strong through joy and creativity, and raising funds for Muted, a brilliant men's mental health charity. See JustGiving page here: https://justgiving.com/page/carterbloke.

A not-for-profit parody version of 'Hallelujah' using a paid for backing track from karaoke-version.co.uk. With an affectionate nod to Alexandra Burke.

Staying strong through joy and creativity, and raising funds for Muted, a brilliant men's mental health charity. See JustGiving page here: https://www.justgiving.com/page/blokebox.

+++ SLEEVE NOTES +++

Since 2020 I've written a show called Blokebox (also known as 'Nige Dials In'). It started as a Covid lockdown project for BBC Radio Nottingham, designed to bring a smile to others in extraordinary times.

It's about a guy called Nige who finds himself going round the twist in a man cave as he, and the nation, deals with isolation in a world dramatically changed.

The frantic ramblings of my alter-ego seemed to resonate with a lot of people. Nige got himself regular airtime and a social media following.

Nige doesn't do nearly as much stuff these days, mainly because he's allowed back out now, but he still loves a Christmas sing-song.

The infamous 'Simon from Calverton' (aka. carterbloke) brings this Les Mis parody song in protest at BBC plans to make significant cuts to its local radio programming - see story here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-63455192.

Stop this! Sign the petition: https://www.change.org/p/save-bbc-local-radio-f3560aed-da07-4680-97a0-527e9aa19c34.

This is a parody version of 'Empty Chairs at Empty Tables' from Les Miserables. A not-for-profit track using a paid for backing track from karaoke-version.co.uk.

As featured on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. In no other way officially endorsed by the BBC, and a good thing too. Mocking the state broadcaster in this way. Tut!

From Simon Carter, the creator / culprit of THE LIFE AND TIMES OF OSSETT FLUSHDYKE and NIGE DIALS IN. Other comedy at https://carterbloke.com.

From the writer of some other stuff you probably haven’t listened to comes ... SHUFFLEHAMPTON CONFIDENTIAL - THE PARISH COUNCIL MINUTES.

Crime, cronyism and crumpets. Just three words beginning with ‘C’ that come up really often at these meetings.

‘Crayons.’ There you are! There’s a fourth.

Now, following a Freedom of Information request from a journalist who’s just been found face-down in the river, Cyril Keenly, the Shufflehampton Parish Clerk, has been forced to release uncut versions of some top-secret council memos. These sensational documents lay bare the diabolical inner workings at Shufflehampton, Britain’s most corrupt local council.

There will be murder, mayhem and marmalade.

Here's episode 2.

To read the full ghastly saga (which contains some much saucier jokes) visit Simon Carter’s website - https://carterbloke.com.

From the writer of some other stuff you probably haven’t listened to comes ... SHUFFLEHAMPTON CONFIDENTIAL - THE PARISH COUNCIL MINUTES.

Crime, cronyism and crumpets. Just three words beginning with ‘C’ that come up really often at these meetings.

‘Crayons.’ There you are! There’s a fourth.

Now, following a Freedom of Information request from a journalist who’s just been found face-down in the river, Cyril Keenly, the Shufflehampton Parish Clerk, has been forced to release uncut versions of some top-secret council memos. These sensational documents lay bare the diabolical inner workings at Shufflehampton, Britain’s most corrupt local council.

There will be murder, mayhem and marmalade.

With clearance now received from Graham in our legal team (thanks, Graham) and with Cyril now safely in hiding at an undisclosed address, we now have the authority to broadcast episode 1.

To read the full ghastly saga (which contains some much saucier jokes) visit Simon Carter’s website - https://carterbloke.com.

THE OSSETT FLUSHDYKE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 2020

Part 1: The Ossett Flushdyke Christmas Speech

It's 1931. King George is poorly so the first ever Christmas radio broadcast to the nation is in jeopardy. Who can His Majesty turn to in his darkest hour? Who can he trust to take his place, with an entire country crying out for comfort and reassurance in times of profound and unprecedented uncertainty?

Step forward Master Ossett Flushdyke - national treasure, bungling aristocrat, hapless toff. Parachuted into the palace and hastily escorted to a microphone in the monarch's boudoir, this is what the nation heard on its wirelesses at Christmas, 89 years ago.

The original tapes were found in a trunk and carefully removed from the elephant. This inspiring and uplifting message has been digitally re-mastered to make it sound just like it was recorded at home on a laptop in a shed back in August 2020.

Part 2: One More Sheep

Ossett Flushdyke has the Christmas clothing blues. With the village shop shut due to lockdown, Jenkins has to improvise when materials to make the master’s brand-new festive jumper run out on Christmas Eve.

Not-for-profit parody song. With sincere apologies to the simply fabulous Ms Leona Lewis.

Cast: Simon Carter as Ossett Flushdyke, Gideon Clear as Albert Jenkins. Announcer: Bob Sinfield.

'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication.

Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do.

'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com

copyright (c) carterbloke, 2020

FAKE NOTTINGHAM is created, written and performed by Simon Carter.

It's a series of short and utterly ridiculous fake histories created for BBC Radio Nottingham.

This episode: the legendary Lace Market.

FAKE NOTTINGHAM is created, written and performed by Simon Carter.

It's a series of short and utterly ridiculous fake histories created for BBC Radio Nottingham.

This episode: Robin Hood.

'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication.

This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do.

'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com

Original BBC production: Chris Baxter and David Lucas (2009).

This episode: As a bonkers Cornishman rambles incessantly, Ossett and Jenkins begin to suspect that the ghost of Hamish McCruddy is not all he seems, and that he might actually be a donkey. Meanwhile, our hero is set upon by a badger whilst the pet Yeti gets a good hiding when he breaks the fine china. Crumbs!

Cast: Simon Carter as Ossett Flushdyke, Gideon Clear as Albert Jenkins, Bob Sinfield as Mad Seth Diddly and Chris Baxter as Hamish McCruddy. Derek The Yeti appears as himself. Announcer: Chris Baxter.

copyright (c) carterbloke, 2020