It's Friday night, I'm home alone, and I'm recording a completely ridiculous episode. No coaching, no reframe, just me wanting to talk to someone about episode one of the new Elle Woods show on Amazon Prime. My husband took the kids to the beach, I opened Prime, and this little show whisked me right back to being a '90s Seattle grunge girl.

Fair warning: this one is pure nostalgia. If you grew up in the '90s, went to concerts, lived anywhere near the Pacific Northwest, or ever dyed a strip in your hair and thought it was the coolest thing ever (it was not, but it was to me), come sit with me for a few minutes. And if that's not you, skip this one. I promise next week's episode gets deep and coachy again.

WHAT I COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why the show is a love letter to 40-year-old women who grew up on Legally Blonde (and why they nailed it)
• The soundtrack, the plaid, the hoodies, the one girl with an umbrella, and how perfectly they captured '90s Seattle grunge
• My own Seattle years, from Capitol Hill to Green Lake, walking my puppies and running my dog-training business
• The clique-and-judge culture of '90s high school, and my honest confession about who I would have been to a new girl like Elle
• Why I love that the show's characters are positive and kind, and what that stirred up in me as a parent now
• A little window into the me you might not know: concerts, green Doc Martens, and starting a web design company at 17

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

• Come to France with me https://catholicmomcalm.com/france/
• Calm Catholic Kids (Summer of Kindness stories free now, Collections 4 and 5 coming soon): https://calmcatholickids.com

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

I just got back from driving six kids and two dogs (including an eight-week-old puppy) from northern Idaho to northern Wisconsin, and the trip left me with a takeaway I didn't expect. I am so in love with my ordinary, day-to-day life. Watching cousins become friends and swimming and puppy chaos was wonderful, and it made me more grateful than ever for the life I've built at home.

So in this episode I'm going to make the case, hard, that you can enjoy your day-to-day life too. I take on the obvious objection head-on ("sure, Sterling, but you're in an easier phase now") and explain why it isn't the property or the ages or the lack of babies making me happy. It's the tools. I walk through calming your body first, opening the messy closet of your thinking, putting what you actually want in the result line, and building rest into your rhythms so you stop living for the next escape. It comes down to rebuilding trust with yourself, and it's available in any season.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why a big, un-relaxing family trip left me more in love with my everyday life than ever
• The objection I take head-on ("it's easy for you now") and why circumstances aren't what make me happy
• Calming your body first: the anger thermometer, breathing, and being Dominic the dragon "cooling his fire" so your kids can see it
• Opening the messy closet of your thinking, popping the comparison bubbles, and redirecting on purpose
• Putting what you actually want in the result line (like "enjoy the kids in the afternoon"), solved both practically and mentally
• Building rest into daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly rhythms so you don't feel desperate to escape your life
• Rebuilding self-trust, why peace and acceptance come before problem-solving, and the great household yo-yo drama

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – Home from Idaho to Wisconsin, and falling more in love with daily life
• [05:00] – "It's easy for you now": the phase objection, and why it's not the circumstances
• [10:00] – Calming your body first (the thermometer and Dominic the dragon)
• [14:00] – The messy closet of your thoughts, and popping the comparison bubbles
• [18:00] – Putting what you want in the result line, and rest built into your rhythms
• [23:00] – Rebuilding self-trust, peace before problem-solving, and the yo-yo saga
• [27:00] – Six spots left for France

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Come to France with me this fall (six spots left!: https://catholicmomcalm.com/france/
• Catholic Mom Calm membership: https://catholicmomcalm.com/
• Calm Catholic Kids (Summer of Kindness stories free until September): https://catholicmomcalm.com/calm-catholic-kids-collection-3-kindness/

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

It usually hits right about now. You started summer with high hopes, pushed through the chaotic first couple of weeks, and now you're yelling more, feeling stressed, and wondering what happened to the magical season you pictured. Sterling Jaquith says it's not because you lack a plan. It's your window of tolerance, and summer quietly shrinks it.

Drawing on a concept from her book Catholic Mom Calm, Sterling breaks down the two kinds of tolerance: your capacity for one specific stressor (hello, putting sunscreen on unwilling children), and your overall capacity for everything stacked on your plate at once. When you add camps, vacations, sibling fights, heat, and snacks without taking anything off, your ability to cope drops. This episode is the permission slip and the toolkit: expand your tolerance, drop the "shoulds" that are really just social norms, and stop beating yourself up. Because your anger is a stress response, and that is completely changeable.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• The two windows of tolerance: your capacity for one specific stressor, and your overall capacity for everything at once
• How to expand your tolerance for a single stressor, with breathing and coaching yourself (the sunscreen battle as exhibit A)
• Why summer shrinks your overall window: you added all the stressors but never took anything off the plate
• The only real "shoulds" (the catechism and the law), and why most summer obligations are just social norms you're free to decline
• A gentler, more honest take on screen time, and why slower old shows actually help
• Instituting a quiet time, feeding and sleeping yourself, and why your anger is a stress response you can change

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – The intolerance of summer, and the window of tolerance from her book
• [03:00] – Expanding your tolerance for one stressor (the sunscreen battle)
• [07:00] – Your overall window, and how summer piles on without taking anything off
• [11:00] – Real shoulds versus social norms (you don't have to bake the birthday cake)
• [14:00] – A gentler take on screen time and slower shows
• [16:00] – Quiet time, self-care, and why anger is a changeable stress response

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Catholic Mom Calm (Sterling's book, with the full "window of tolerance" section): https://amzn.to/4oKZRjU
• Calm Catholic Kids: https://calmcatholickids.com

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

Sterling Jaquith caught herself feeling a very particular brand of summer jealousy. Friends whose parents are stable enough, healthy enough, and trusted enough to take the grandkids for a week or two. And watching that feeling rise was a perfect window into something we all do: we never question why we feel good, but the moment a negative feeling shows up, we start poking at it, and the poking spins into a storm.

In this episode Sterling slows the whole thing down so you can see the difference between prayerfully feeling your feelings and indulging in what a friend called "tornado thinking." One is slow, grounded, and resolves. The other is fast, grows as it goes, and turns a bad mood into a bad day into a "bad season." Nobody is doing that to you, and that's actually the good news. You have more control over the weather in your mind than you think.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• The summer jealousy Sterling noticed in herself, and what it was actually about (hint: not the free time)
• Why we interrogate our negative feelings but never stop to question the happy ones
• The real difference between feeling your feelings (slow, grounded, done with the Lord) and tornado thinking (fast, growing, catching everything in its path)
• How a bad mood becomes a bad day becomes a "bad season," and why you control that weather more than you think
• The three choices in any triggered moment: think about it later, feel it all the way through, or spin
• How to walk yourself back gently and lovingly, never in an authoritarian "just get it together" voice

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – The summer jealousy Sterling noticed, and why we never question feeling good
• [04:00] – Tornado thinking versus actually feeling your feelings
• [08:00] – How a bad mood becomes a bad day becomes a bad season (the weather you forget you control)
• [12:00] – What feeling your feelings really looks like: slow, named, and sitting with the Lord
• [16:00] – Why jealousy reveals your unresolved work (Europe versus the grandparents)
• [18:00] – Calming the storm by speaking to yourself with love

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Calm Catholic Kids: https://calmcatholickids.com

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

We're handed a script that summer is supposed to be fun and relaxing, beach days and popsicles and bucket lists. Then the fantasy meets the reality of little kids off their routine, eating sugar, tracking sand everywhere, and a lot of moms find themselves feeling something they didn't expect: angry. Sterling Jaquith says that's not a sign you're doing it wrong. It's cognitive dissonance, and it's incredibly common.

This episode starts with a 30-second check-in you can do ten times a day, then unpacks why the gap between expectation and reality turns into anger, and what to do about it. Sterling walks through exactly how she thinks about her own Northern Idaho summers, lake days, outside time, and all, so she makes memories instead of yelling. And she hands you permission you may not know you needed: you don't have to do anything this summer.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• The 30-second self-check-in (touch your skin, ask "how am I feeling?" and "what do I need?") and why most moms never do it
• Why summer creates a love-hate relationship, and the clash between the sparkly fantasy and the real thing
• Why anger is the surprisingly common summer emotion for moms, and the shame or fear sitting underneath it
• The one question to ask the second you feel frustrated: "What did I think should be happening?"
• Setting yourself up to win (the 40-minute lake math, the outside water and bathroom systems, deciding about the food ahead of time)
• Permission to do nothing this summer, and why "we're just hanging out" is a complete and good answer

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – The 30-second check-in: touch your skin, ask how you feel and what you need
• [03:00] – Why we all have a love-hate relationship with summer
• [07:00] – Anger as the summer emotion, and the fantasy-vs-reality clash underneath it
• [11:00] – "What did I think should happen?" and the 40-minute lake math
• [14:00] – Outside time, the water and bathroom systems, and managing your mind when they come back in
• [17:00] – You don't have to do anything this summer, and being kind to yourself

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Calm Catholic Kids (Summer of Kindness stories free now, Collections 4 and 5 coming soon): https://calmcatholickids.com

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

Every summer it happens. You pack up the little kids, drive to the beach or the grandparents, and somewhere around day three in an unfamiliar Airbnb with no blackout curtains and a toddler who won't sleep, you wonder why you thought this would be fun. Sterling Jaquith has a reframe that changes the whole thing: stop calling it a vacation.

In this evergreen episode you can come back to before any trip, Sterling walks through why little kids won't remember the vacation anyway, what they do remember, and the three honest questions to ask before you go. It's permission to stop chasing "relaxing" with a houseful of tired, dysregulated humans, and to plan the trip like the world's best personal assistant instead. Because the answer, through all of it, is always love. Including love for yourself.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why calling it a "vacation" is the first trap, and treating the trip like a business trip with a mission and a plan instead
• The honest truth that you may not enjoy it with little kids, and why that doesn't mean anything has gone wrong
• The three questions to ask before you go: What's my mission? What three feelings am I actually going for? How do I set myself up for those?
• Creating novelty on the cheap (crazy straws, Goodwill toys, stovetop popcorn, pop rocks, and the screen time you'd normally say no to)
• Planning something that's just for you, whether it's before, during, or after the trip
• Why Catholic moms living only for everyone else isn't how God designed you, and how to love yourself hard through the hard parts

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – Why this is your reference episode for every future summer, holiday, and spring break
• [04:00] – "I don't think you can enjoy it." The coaching conversation that started this
• [08:00] – What kids actually remember, and why Sterling makes a photo book every year
• [12:00] – The three questions: mission, the top three feelings, and setting yourself up to feel them
• [16:00] – Creating novelty, building in real breaks, and planning something for you
• [19:00] – The answer is always love, and why God doesn't want you at the end of your rope

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Rhythm of War which is Book 4 of the Stormlight Series by Brandon Sanderson (the audiobook Sterling and her husband listened to on their cross-country drive): https://amzn.to/4w34nwC
• Calm Catholic Kids (Summer of Kindness stories free now, Collections 4 and 5 coming soon): https://calmcatholickids.com

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

It's a wild claim, and Sterling Jaquith makes it anyway. After asking her email list what they're struggling with right now, she read more than 200 responses, and reading every single one she kept thinking the same thing: oh, I could help her feel so much better about that.

Not because the hard things aren't real. They are. But because underneath every one of them is the same skill, the number one skill, and almost nobody is actually practicing it. This episode walks through several of the things moms wrote in about, completely anonymously, and shows you the one thing that changes how you experience all of it.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why the number one skill is noticing how you think and choosing it on purpose, until you feel the way you want to feel
• Older kids who've walked away from the faith, and the thoughts keeping you in pain (including the story of Sterling's own return at 23)
• Perfectionism, negative self-talk, and low self-image, and why "I struggle with this" is just a thought you're not doing anything about
• The yellow walls metaphor: paint them, or genuinely make peace with them, but stop suffering in between
• The messy house, ranking what's actually worth your energy, and choosing thoughts that are true and feel better
• Why managing your mind is the most Catholic thing of all, and why you learn it now so you can teach your kids

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – The 200 emails, and the one skill underneath every problem
• [05:00] – "Do you have anything for teens?" Why Catholic Mom Calm is for every mom, period
• [10:00] – Older children who've left the faith, and choosing a thought that gives you peace
• [15:00] – Perfectionism and negative self-talk, the yellow walls, and the messy-house reframe
• [20:00] – Managing your mind like physical fitness, the "spoiled" and baby-belly stories, and the unfinished house
• [24:00] – The most Catholic thing: peace, playing with your thoughts, and raising a calmer generation

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Catholic Mom Calm (Good Mom Summer): https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Calm Catholic Kids (Summer of Kindness stories free now): https://catholicmomcalm.com/calm-catholic-kids-collection-3-kindness/
• Catholic Finishing School (join anytime this summer if your daughter is a teenager): https://www.catholicfinishingschool.com/
• France pilgrimage/trip (a few spots left): https://catholicmomcalm.com/france/

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

We all say we want our lives to be better. But what if most of us don't actually want to do the one thing that would make it better? This episode is the mirror-moment question, plus a summer update on closing loops, a 30-second way to make decisions, a new puppy, and the letter that changed how she thinks about holy water.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why no amount of thinking makes a decision for you (it always comes down to a 30-second moment where you just decide)
• The open loops draining moms, and the Saturday-close-loops, Monday-fresh-start rhythm you can borrow
• Clean pain vs. dirty pain, and why feeling powerless hurts worse than admitting you're choosing not to change
• How Sterling redirects her own dramatic, melancholic brain toward what's amazing instead of what's terrible

EPISODE TIMELINE:

[00:00] – The school decision, and why thinking longer doesn't actually help [05:00] – Closing loops, and Saturdays and Mondays as reset days [10:00] – Cozy summer: tea, puzzles, audiobooks, and using AI for everyday life [15:00] – A new puppy, plus what's coming for Calm Catholic Kids and mom meditations [20:00] – The Letter From Beyond: holy water and the signal graces we ignore [24:00] – The real question: do you actually want your life to get better?

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Good Mom Summer in Catholic MoM Calm: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Summer of Kindness Stories FREE: https://catholicmomcalm.com/calm-catholic-kids-collection-3-kindness/
• The Letter From Beyond (public domain): https://americaneedsfatima.org/articles/a-letter-from-beyond
• Rook by Daniel O'Malley (witty, some swearing): https://amzn.to/4uxJHvy
• Spirit Dog Training: https://spiritdogtraining.com
• Octopus puzzle: https://amzn.to/3S6srQE
• Read-Aloud Revival booklists (Sarah Mackenzie): https://readaloudrevival.com
• Equip protein: https://www.equipfoods.com/STERLING

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm/

Six kids home for summer, a pilgrimage to France, a schooling decision on a deadline, and a Goodwill trip that produced an accidental gel bead gun. Sterling Jaquith walks through what's actually on her plate right now and shows the move that keeps her calm in the middle of it: stop trying to engineer a simple life, simplify your thinking instead.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why "just live simply" advice usually comes from people holding very different cards than you
• The Summer of Kindness experiment after one week (and why Peter prayed for it out loud)
• How to feel real frustration in your body without making it mean something has gone wrong
• The decisions and uncertainties Sterling is actively sitting with this June — including her own food struggle

EPISODE TIMELINE:

[00:00] – Why a "simple life" is the wrong goal for most moms [06:00] – The Goodwill trip, the gel bead gun, and weighing risk against sparkles [14:00] – Summer of Kindness update — what's working one week in [22:00] – France pilgrimage, French class, and Catholic Finishing School kickoff [30:00] – The schooling decision Sterling has to close the loop on [36:00] – Why her thinking is simple even when her life isn't

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Summer of Kindness - Family script
• Summer of Kindness Calendar - Template Link
• Calm Catholic Kids (Kindness stories coming June 10th): https://calmcatholickids.com
• Good Mom Summer at Catholic Mom Calm: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• France Pilgrimage (age opened up — reach out if interested): https://catholicmomcalm.com/france
• Summer French class for girls (coupon code: Calm50): https://canafeast.com/frenchclass
• Catholic Finishing School: www.catholicfinishingschool.com/
• Rack-O Jr. board game: https://amzn.to/4akdGQn
• Spirograph kit: https://amzn.to/43jNh1m
• Modest long-sleeve bathing suit dress: https://amzn.to/4dTVHCL
• The Benedict Option by Rod Dreher: https://amzn.to/43fIVbw

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: www.catholicmomcalm.com
• Follow on Instagram www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm/

⛱️ Fun & Simple Summer: https://catholicmomcalm.com/fun-simple-summer

😎 Good Mom Summer: https://catholicmomcalm.com/good-mom-summer

🥰 Catholic Finishing School: https://catholicfinishingschool.com/

I'm a good mom. (And so are you. We're going to practice that all summer.)

Sterling had a light bulb moment while recording the Fun & Simple Summer program — and it changed her entire summer plan.

All the pressure moms feel about screen time, summer camps, boredom, sibling bickering, what the kids are eating... it's all sitting on top of one belief: I'm not a good mom.

In this episode, Sterling shares what she's doing about it — for herself, for the moms inside Catholic Mom Calm, and (in a roundabout way) for her own teenagers who definitely do not want to be life coached by their mother.

You'll hear:

• Why telling yourself you're a bad mom for 40 years is genuinely crazy — and the pilot analogy that makes it impossible to unsee
• What Sterling is personally working on with her own kids this summer (hint: it involves catching people being kind)
• Why she's sneaking into Catholic Finishing School this summer to teach teenage girls how to believe new things
• How believing you're a good mom makes you a better problem solver — immediately
• The 30-second version of changing what you believe about yourself

⛱️ Fun & Simple Summer: https://catholicmomcalm.com/fun-simple-summer

😎 Good Mom Summer: https://catholicmomcalm.com/good-mom-summer

🥰 Catholic Finishing School: https://catholicfinishingschool.com/