
Sign up to save your podcasts
Or


Send us Fan Mail
Steve O’Connor welcomes Carol Juergensen Sheets, a licensed clinical social worker and CSAT partner betrayal trauma specialist known for her books Help.Her.Heal and Help.Them.Heal and her ERCEM Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model. Carol explains she entered the field after schools reported children acting out, leading her to IITAP training, then to couples work when she saw betrayed partners in severe trauma.
She emphasizes reflective listening as the key empathy skill and outlines empathy elements (perspective-taking, recognizing emotions, and nonjudgment). They discuss betrayal trauma phases, truth-telling, and practicing relational skills before deeper exploration, noting recovery and trust rebuilding often take three to five years. Carol shares resources, her upcoming book, Help.Him.Heal, and where to find her courses and work.
00:00 Welcome
00:57 Episode Intro and Padre Pio
02:52 Meet Carol the Coach
04:17 How Carol Entered This Work
07:48 Why Partners Need Healing
09:21 Empathy Skills That Work
11:36 Reflective Listening Practice
14:15 ERCEM Model and Trauma Phases
25:32 Help Him Heal and Male Betrayal
27:14 Head to Heart Mindset Shift
33:21 Where to Find Carol and Closing
📌 RESOURCES & LINKS:
If this episode helped you, please leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. It costs you nothing and helps other men find this content when they need it most.
Send us Fan Mail
Steve O’Connor hosts Episode #64 of the Catholics Fight Porn podcast with guest Ellen Drews to discuss the “After Disclosure” phases of the Full Disclosure process: the Partner Impact Statement and the Emotional Restitution Letter. This marks Ellen's 4th appearance on the show. Check out her other episodes [15, 23, 26].
Framed by recording on the the Memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows, they connect disclosure work to grief, empathy, humility, and restoration.
Ellen explains why guided disclosure helps break denial, create shared reality, and stabilize safety.
She outlines what impact letters cover (physical, psychological, financial, spiritual, sexual, social/professional, and family effects), what makes restitution letters effective, suggested timing, and how structured, supported sessions help couples grieve losses and rebuild trust.
Ellen who holds a Master’s in Theology and Pastoral Ministry and is a Certified Partner Coach (APSATS), certified Brainspotting practitioner, ICF-Certified Life Coach, Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (ITAP), Full Disclosure Guide through Kintsugi Recovery Partners, and an Inner Child Model Recovery Specialist trained through Dr. Eddie Capparucci.
Welcome
01:09 Our Lady of Sorrows
03:11 Meet Ellen Drews
05:46 Who Ellen Helps
08:09 Three Phases of Healing
11:23 Why Guided Disclosure
13:42 When to Start Impact
20:06 Impact Statement Basics
21:31 Impact Categories Breakdown
27:19 From Pain to a Roadmap
29:54 What Changes After Writing
30:41 Making Space for Pain
31:33 Compassionate Witnessing
31:49 Safe Containment for Truth
34:27 Empathy as a Muscle
35:07 Restitution Letter Guidelines
37:22 Partner Phase Two Healing
41:10 Processing and Sharing Letters
44:45 Humility and Deeper Recovery
46:04 Overcoming Letter Resistance
51:41 United Against Addiction
54:25 Closing
📌 RESOURCES & LINKS:
If this episode helped you, please leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. It costs you nothing and helps other men find this content when they need it most.
Send us Fan Mail
Episode #63: The Undivided Heart: Catholic Parts Work with Jared Schiemer
Steve O’Connor opens the episode by introducing the saint of the day on recording, St. Clare of Montefalco, and connecting her inward, Christ-centered self-examination to “parts work” as a path to healing.
He interviews Jared Schiemer, a certified life coach trained in IFS-informed parts work, who explains how he discovered the modality through somatic-based sessions, therapy, and training with IFS founder Dr. Richard Schwartz, describing it as faster and more experiential than traditional talk therapy.
Jared outlines core IFS concepts (Self and parts such as managers, firefighters, and exiles), emphasizes “No Bad Parts,” and discusses regulation, validation, and meeting needs to reduce shame, compulsions, anger, and relapse risk.
They address Catholic compatibility through Scripture and Dr. Gerry Crete’s Litanies of the Heart Book and the Souls and Hearts Community, then announce a 16-week Catholic men’s group, The Undivided Heart.
00:00 Welcome
01:06 Saint Clare Spotlight
02:24 Parts Work Invitation
03:34 Meet Jared Schiemer
05:30 How Jared Found IFS
10:24 What Parts Work Is
17:51 Self Leadership and Needs
21:32 Firefighters and Regulation
25:18 Is IFS Catholic
28:19 The Self and Shame
34:14 Sobriety, Anger + Empathy
39:12 Undivided Heart Program
43:38 Info Night and Closing
FREE INFO SESSION - Monday, August 24 at 8PM ET
Curious about the Undivided Heart Program? Join Steve and Jared for a FREE, live info session on Monday, August 24 at 8PM Eastern. This is your chance to ask questions, get a feel for the work, and find out if this program is the right next step for you. Spots are limited for the group. Email Steve directly to get the Zoom link: [email protected]
About Jared Schiemer: Jared Schiemer is a certified Life Coach, trained through the Robbins-Madanes Training Center, with additional training in NLP, Human Needs Psychology, and IFS-informed Parts Work. He is a certified FOCCUS pre-marriage and marriage Facilitator and continues his study of Internal Family Systems through the Souls and Hearts Catholic community and IFS Institute.
He is a graduate of Franciscan University of Steubenville where he obtained a degree in Business Management and a minor in Psychology. At Franciscan, he deepened his Catholic faith, formed lifelong friendships, and strengthened his relationship with his now-wife, Claire, who is also a graduate of Franciscan University and now works as a mental health therapist and coach. He and Claire have been together for over 14 years, since high school, and have been married for the past seven years.
Jared has also walked his own path through Parts Work, in both therapy and coaching, and experienced what it's like to watch emotions and triggers he'd carried for years dissolve rather than just get managed. That's why he does this work, he's not only trained in the method, he's lived what it can do.
Jared brings a steady presence to men doing this work, meeting every part of themselves with curiosity and compassion. His coaching specialty is connection: helping clients reconnect to themselves, to the people they love, and to their God-given purpose.
About the Undivided Heart Program: The Undivided Heart is a 16-week Catholic Parts Work group for men, co-facilitated by Steve O'Connor and Jared Schiemer. It is built for the Catholic man who has tried everything and is ready to go deeper. Rooted in IFS-informed Parts Work and Litanies of the Heart by Dr. Gerry Crete and fully integrated with the Catholic faith, the Undivided Heart helps men identify the wounded parts driving their behavior, build a relationship with those parts and lead with the innermost Self, and experience a kind of freedom that is not white-knuckled but real and tangible.
Starting September 2026. Spots are limited for the group.
To learn more or reserve your spot, email Steve: [email protected]
📌 Resources & Links:
If this episode helped you, please leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. It costs you nothing and helps other men find this content when they need it most.
Send us Fan Mail
Steve O’Connor is Interviewed by Tom Weaver of Come to the Table Ministry.
They discuss emotional sobriety, connection, and an empathy angle related to the 12 Steps.
01:03 Welcome and Retreat Info
03:11 Steve's Story Recovery and Coaching Story
12:47 Why Empathy Matters
14:09 Sobriety Versus Recovery
19:03 Defensiveness and Patience
22:10 Scripts and Being Prepared
24:19 Connection and AVR Practice
26:40 Daily Check In Calls
27:18 Connection Beats Defensiveness
28:04 12 Steps + Empathy Angle
35:00 Emotional Sobriety Defined
37:52 Call Up Stick With Winners
42:31 Keep Recovery Simple
44:42 Make The Call
47:38 Build Your Recovery Team
HELPFUL LINKS:
Tom + Michele Weaver at Come to the Table Ministries:
-Website here.
-Retreats + Conferences here.
-Their Podcast here.
-Email: [email protected]
CATHOLICS FIGHT PORN:
-Join an amazing group of men in the Finally Free Group here.
-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337
-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at: https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP
-Get a sweet, safe, locked-down phone [that's not a flip phone] - Get a Wisephone! Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 -- https://www.techless.com/CFP
-Join the Finally Free Coaching Group: https://www.catholicsfightporn.com/need-help
-Book an Intro Discovery Call with Steve: https://www.catholicsfightporn.com/contact
-Email: [email protected]
-Sign up for the email newsletter at the bottom left of catholicsfightporn.com
-Connect with me on Instagram @catholicrecovery
-Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process for those looking for full truth in their relationship. Email Steve for more info.
Send us Fan Mail
What does a sobriety actually look like? In this episode, Steve breaks down the concrete benefits of recovery, not the absence of sin, but the presence of something better. Integrity. Honesty. Hope. Not living a double life.
One of the greatest and most underrated gifts of sobriety is time spent in a state of grace - sometimes longer than a man has experienced since childhood.
If you've been wondering whether recovery is real, it is.
Steve shares some of the many gifts of sobriety and what you actually gain when you quit the behavior.
HELPFUL LINKS:
-Join an amazing group of men in the Finally Free Group here.
-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or here.
-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at: https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP
-Get a sweet, safe, locked-down phone [that's not a flip phone] - Get a Wisephone! Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 -- https://www.techless.com/CFP
-Book an INTRO Call with Steve here.
-Email: [email protected]
-Sign up for the email newsletter at the bottom left of catholicsfightporn.com
-Connect with me on Instagram @catholicrecovery
-Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process for those looking for full truth in their relationship. Email Steve for more info.
-Donate to CFP to support this work here.
Send us Fan Mail
We talk a lot about men and p*rnography. But what about the woman sitting three rows back in the same parish, carrying the same secret, with nowhere to turn? And what about the betrayed husband who just discovered his wife is the one struggling?
In this episode, Steve sits down with Rachael Killackey, founder and executive director of Magdala Ministries and author of Love in Recovery, to have an important conversation. Women struggle with p*rn too. And the way they struggle, the way they hide, and the way they heal is not the same as men.
This episode is for the woman who needs help and hope. It's for the betrayed husband who just found out his wife is the one struggling. And it's for every priest and counselor who wants to serve the whole room, not just half of it.
In this episode we cover:
Episode Timestamps:
About Rachael Killackey: Rachael Killackey is the founder and executive director of Magdala Ministries, the first Catholic ministry of its kind specifically for women healing from sexual addiction. She holds bachelor's and master's degrees in theology from Ave Maria University, is pursuing her certification in sex addiction therapy, and has personally walked with over a thousand women through stories of shame, secrecy, and healing. Her book Love in Recovery is available through Ave Maria Press.
🌐 magdalaministries.org 📖 Love in Recovery - avemariapress.com
HELPFUL LINKS:
-Join amazing groups of men in the Finally Free Group here.
-Get daily CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or here.
-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at: https://www.covenanteyes.com
CODE: CFP
-Get a Wisephone! Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 -https://www.techless.com/CFP
-Book an INTRO Call with Steve here.
-Email: [email protected]
-Sign up for the email newsletter
-Donate to CFP
Send us Fan Mail
In 2025, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops released Create in Me a Pure Heart- a landmark document addressing p*rnography, its devastation, and the Church's responsibility to respond.
In this follow-up conversation with Joshua Urrutia, we go beyond the document itself and into the realities it names: the loneliness driving individuals to p*rnography in the first place, the p*rnography industry's deliberate targeting of children, the betrayal trauma impact on marriages, and what it actually looks like to walk toward healing in all of it.
00:58 Episode Welcome and Guest
01:39 Saints and Recovery Themes
04:09 Bishops Document Overview
05:11 Key Takeaways Loneliness Trauma
06:37 P*rn and Loneliness Stats
11:09 Isolation and Inner Child
15:23 Grooming and Tech Access
18:37 Phone Safeguards and Tools
22:30 Neuroscience of Addiction
25:15 Dopamine And Denial
25:50 Neurobiology Visual Tools
26:58 Betrayal Trauma Explained
28:12 D-Day Discovery Shock
30:41 Patience And Living Amends
33:47 Support Groups And Disclosure
36:23 Helping Others Stay Free
38:45 Practical Recovery Strategies
41:08 Church And Family Action
45:05 Resources And Farewell
Referenced in this episode: Create in Me a Pure Heart document— United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2025 Available at usccb.org
About Joshua Urrutia: Joshua Urrutia is a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate and ASAT Candidate with Intuitus Group in Texas. He holds a Master's in Counseling from Divine Mercy University, is EMDR trained, and is a verified member of the Catholic Psychotherapy Association. Joshua works with individuals and couples navigating compulsive sexual behavior, betrayal trauma, and the intersection of faith and mental health.
Website: intuitus-group.com
Phone: (512) 650-8018
Email: [email protected]
HELPFUL LINKS:
-Join an amazing group of men in the Finally Free Group here.
-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or here.
-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at: https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP
-Get a sweet, safe, locked-down phone [that's not a flip phone] - Get a Wisephone! Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 -- https://www.techless.com/CFP
-Book an INTRO Call with Steve here.
-Email: [email protected]
-Sign up for the email newsletter at the bottom left of catholicsfightporn.com
-Connect with me on Instagram @catholicrecovery
-Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process for those looking for full truth in their relationship. Email Steve for more info.
-Donate to CFP
Send us Fan Mail
Steve O’Connor hosts special guest Casey Allison, founder of Come Awake Coaching and Consulting.
Casey is a Master Certified Coach through ICF, an APSATS-certified Partner Coach, a Certified Disclosure Guide through Kintsugi Recovery Partners, a PSAP through IITAP, and a Brainspotting practitioner. She also has training in the perinatal period with betrayed women, and additional training to support partners of sex addicts who have criminally sexually offended, whether they’ve been charged or not. She holds many other trainings and certifications as well.
Casey shares how discovering her husband’s secret sexual life led her, after years of ineffective help and multiple practitioners, to find betrayal-trauma-informed support and eventually serve women navigating betrayal, pregnancy/new motherhood, and cases involving sexual offending. They discuss how uninformed resources can harm partners by blaming them, and share indicators of good support: prioritizing safety and stabilization, validating grief and anger, and aiming for post-traumatic growth rather than “going back.”
They emphasize the importance of truth and a collaborative Full Disclosure, including the Partner Impact Statement and Emotional Restitution letter, to restore mutuality, reduce shame, and foster empathy.
Casey shares about her Catholic women’s Facebook group and her coaching groups, and offers hope that healing is possible. Tune in and share!
Time Stamps:
Show Intro
01:13 Saint of the Day Reflection - St. John Baptist de LaSalle as a model of radical surrender
03:25 Meet Casey Allison
04:56 Casey's Story and Calling
08:13 Finding Trauma Informed Help
11:51 Safety, Stabilization, Grief, Anger and Growth
14:24 Why Full Disclosure Matters
17:21 Team Based Disclosure Support
22:04 Power, Control and Mutuality
25:06 Impact and Restitution Letters
29:47 Catholic Women Facebook Community
33:41 Casey Groups and Programs
38:29 Closing Hope and Next Steps
Links for Casey:
Free initial consultation: https://www.comeawakecoach.org/p/packages_4.html
Support groups: https://www.comeawakecoach.org/p/community.html
Workshops and Events: https://www.comeawakecoach.org/p/promotions.html
Digital Resources: https://comeawakeresources.company.site/
Released to Heal Group (starting April 15th): https://www.comeawakecoach.org/p/released-to-heal-support-group.html
HELPFUL CFP LINKS:
-Join an amazing group of men in the Finally Free Group here.
-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or here.
-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at: https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP
-Get a safe, locked-down phone - a Wisephone! Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 - https://www.techless.com/CFP
-Book an INTRO Call with Steve here.
-Email: [email protected]
-Sign up for the Email Newsletter at the website
-Donate to CFP
Send us Fan Mail
Steve sits down with Michael McBee for an inspirational conversation on hitting rock bottom, getting into recovery, finding God and helping his wife heal from betrayal trauma.
Raised in Ohio, Michael was an accomplished student and athlete, while struggling for years to find freedom from his sexual addiction. This led to a life marked by unhealthy sexual behaviors, overindulgence, and selfishness. After hitting rock bottom, Michael entered recovery through a national 12-Step program. He earned his certification as a Life Coach and Sex Addiction Life Coach through the Addictions Academy. Michael is an experienced leader of TSH Freedom Groups, leads men through the 90-Day Recovery Program, and leads our online 12-Step groups. He has been married to his wife, Sarah, since 2019.
Find a Men's Group at https://www.theresstillhope.org and ask for Michael!
Books Michael mentioned:
Fulfilling the Ultimate Quest - link
The Love Dare - link
HELPFUL LINKS:
-Join an amazing group of men in the Finally Free Group here.
-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or here.
-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at: https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP
-Get a safe, locked-down phone - a Wisephone! Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 - https://www.techless.com/CFP
-Book an INTRO Call with Steve here.
-Email: [email protected]
-Sign up for the email newsletter at the website
-Donate to CFP
Send us Fan Mail
What happens when the very thing you're most ashamed of is also the thing keeping you from the love you most desperately need? In this episode, we sit down with Joshua Urrutia, MS, LPC-Associate and ASAT Candidate, to talk about one of the most painful paradoxes at the heart of sexual addiction: the war between deep shame and the longing to be truly known, seen and loved. At the root of that war, more often than not, is an attachment wound that has never been named, never been healed, and has been quietly running the show for years.
Joshua brings both clinical expertise and personal experience to this conversation. He shares what he witnessed during his time in ministry and mission work, and how those experiences led him to specialize in compulsive sexual behavior. This is an honest, grounded, and hope-filled conversation for anyone in recovery, anyone loving someone in recovery, or anyone who has ever felt too broken to be seen.
In this episode we cover:
A note on attachment: You may hear the terms attachment theory and attachment injury in this conversation. Attachment theory, developed by psychiatrist John Bowlby, describes the deep human need for safe, reliable emotional bonds. First with caregivers, and later in adult relationships. When those bonds are broken, neglected, or never formed, an attachment injury occurs a: wound in the person's ability to trust, connect, and feel safe being truly known by another. For many men and women struggling with sexual addiction, compulsive behavior is not primarily about sex. It is about an unmet, often unconscious need for closeness and comfort that was rarely safely available. And for the betrayed spouse, the discovery of her partner's secret life is one of the most devastating attachment injuries an adult can experience: a rupture at the deepest level of relational trust.
About Joshua: Joshua Urrutia is a Licensed Professional Associate Counselor and ASAT Candidate (on his way to a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) with Intuitus Group in the Austin area in Texas. He holds a Master's in Counseling from Divine Mercy University, is EMDR trained.
🌐 Website: intuitus-group.com 📞 Phone: (512) 650-8018 📧 Email: [email protected]
HELPFUL LINKS:
-Join an amazing group of men in the Finally Free Group here.
-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or here.
-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at: https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP
-Get a safe, locked-down phone - a Wisephone! Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 - https://www.techless.com/CFP
-Book an INTRO Call with Steve here.
-Email: [email protected]
-Sign up for the email newsletter at the website
-Donate to CFP
From the publisher's feed
Catholics Fight Porn is a new ministry helping men break free from problematic sexual behavior. Follow us as we share why we’re passionate about helping men become Finally Free!

6,762 Listeners

7,651 Listeners

2 Listeners