StrongHer Sessions with Vanessa and Kate

Celebrate You...Without Getting Stuck: Finding the Difference Between Self-Love and Settling


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In this episode of StrongHer Sessions, Vanessa and Kate dive into a topic so many women quietly struggle with: how to truly celebrate who you are without using self-love as a reason to stay stuck.

Building on last week’s conversation about foundations and moral codes, this episode explores the tension between acceptance and growth — especially in a world that sends constant mixed messages about bodies, worth, ambition, and identity.

Kate opens up about feeling caught between being content and always striving for more, while Vanessa breaks down the crucial difference between self-acceptance and avoidance. Together, they unpack why phrases like “that’s just the way I am” can either reflect healthy self-awareness or become a barrier to accountability and growth.

The conversation moves into how identity can evolve without being erased, using powerful metaphors like rivers, trees, and seasons to illustrate what fluidity really looks like in real life. Vanessa also speaks candidly about body image, menopause, and the difference between accepting your body and giving up on yourself — emphasizing compassion over shame.

Finally, the episode closes with practical insights on recognizing stagnation, softening the inner critic, and allowing your foundation to support growth instead of restricting it.

This is a thoughtful, grounded conversation about self-respect, evolution, and learning how to grow without abandoning yourself in the process.

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Key Takeaways

  • Self-love and growth are not opposites — you can honor who you are and continue evolving

  • Acceptance is not the same as giving up; acceptance creates emotional safety for growth

  • “That’s just the way I am” becomes harmful when it shuts down accountability or reflection

  • Growth doesn’t require abandoning your identity — it often means loosening your grip on roles that once kept you safe

  • Foundations should be living and flexible, not rigid rules that limit who you can become

  • Stagnation often shows up as numbness, defensiveness, or chronic dissatisfaction — not always dramatic burnout

  • The inner critic often wants to protect you; acknowledging it with kindness can help you move forward instead of freezing

  • True self-respect allows you to revisit, refine, and evolve your values over time

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StrongHer Sessions with Vanessa and KateBy Vanessa and Kate