CentralMaine Sunday

If you wanted relief from bad news, if you wanted comedy, well, instead you're getting The Dude, J.P. Devine says.

The salient question this morning is not about dying eggs or munching chocolate bunnies. More importantly, it’s about “wiping,” and which can of beans did I wipe last night?

These days, the question of whether to wear underpants is an existential crisis, J.P. Devine says.

Be brave, readers, during this time of hunkering down, and we'll get through this, J.P. Devine says.

As this evil floats around us, call the elderly, talk to God and ask what you can do for others, J.P. Devine says.

It'll take some time for J.P. Devine to adjust to digital-only Mondays, but he's accepted it to keep a sailor on deck to keep the ship afloat.

As the coronavirus spreads, we've entered the “new normal” where all coughs, even from someone choking on a chicken bone, are reasons to flee the area, J.P. Devine says.

Brushing aside writing only humorous pieces about things locally, J.P. Devine says he won't stop trying to be a big city conversationalist.

Wearing his new Apple watch, J.P. Devine is like a 9-year-old who has found a new toy and wishing he could go back in time.

Around us now are empty chairs once filled with those who shared our talk, touched our pained hands, felt our fears and laughed with us, and we discover the memory of them gives us more to talk about, J.P. Devine says.