Any idea can be a great idea if you think differently, dream big and commit to seeing it realised – Richard Branson

How you view your goals will determine the attitude you will adopt towards attaining them. If you see them as ends, you want to make sure that the end justifies the means, right? Do you perceive them as the state of affairs that a plan is intended to achieve and, after the plan is achieved, then the behaviour is terminated, leading you to revert to normalcy mode?

Or do you put yourself in an all-time high gear mode, whereby you are ready to activate at any point in time? If you agree with the Holton Buggs mindset of “The way you do anything is the way you do everything,” then you want to truly and practically make sure that success is an everyday thing.

Do you have goals that are so massive that they scare you till you even doubt if they could materialise? If you do, the behaviour to adopt is not to be so overwhelmed as to be whipped into the corner of subjection or discouragement. Rather, you should switch to the “activate mode,” where you always launch “attacks,” other than being in the defence mode. That’s the strategy.

In the domain of goals, there are different schools of thought, with each advancing its model – so much so that you could get confused as to which model to adopt when you have to go that route. First of all, I categorised them as traditional, where I place the SMART. Next is the contemporary, where the DUMB and BHAGs are obtainable. Lastly, there is ATAP, a scripturally inspired adoption I personally labelled.

Your view of, or about the goal you set shows how passionate you will be about it. If you think it belongs to the traditional school, or the contemporary, or you perceive same from a personal viewpoint, that’s what it is or will turn out to be to you. The crux of the matter, however, is that you truly need to be accountable for your goals; nobody will do that for you.

Moving forward, let’s x-ray the different goal models...

Every man is the architect of his own life. He builds it just the way he wants it. However, after he has built what he wants, he sometimes decides that he doesn’t like what he has built, and looks for someone or something to blame, instead of changing himself – Sydney Madwed

Quite a number of goal setters are only annual or timely ritualists; not go-getters. They merely set goals but are hardly ever able to get near the margin of attainment. Funnily enough, they blame this inability on others. Amazingly, many of them are either gainfully employed, run their own businesses, or both. And they vacillate between “average” and “just okay,” in terms of performance. Some inch towards good, but get to a point that instead of plainly soaring higher, they stagnate.

While looking at them from the outside, with their well-maintained relics of success, many view and label them “high achievers” and “industry leaders” in their field. Shockingly, however, an opportunity to get close to them, especially on official turf, reveals a stark contrast to previously held opinions of excellent or great achievers.

Why is this so? Some form of assessment should do justice to this:

▪ Poor time management

The word delegation is strength in leadership and the earlier leaders exploit this concept, the better for them. Also, it is most instructive to note that you cannot delegate your core assignment and, whatever tasks you delegate to your subordinates, you must also oversee. This suggests that there’s no excuse for your inability to read a report you are supposed to read, when you are supposed to read it. There’s no reason you shouldn’t respond to mails of high priority. In a similar vein, there’s no reason to justify your lateness to meetings by heaping the blame on traffic, because you are no stranger to the space or terrain. The solution is simple: apply effective activity management concepts in order to use your time judiciously: know and own your activities, reflect on them, evaluate their impact on others when deployed, be sold to continuous improvement.

▪ Poor personal organisation

The path to success and winning is not the same for everyone. Opeyemi’s model may be quite different from Emeka’s. You may have to unlearn, relearn and learn your own way to succeed in your chosen path or industry, and that is exactly what it means to redefine your thoughts and mindset about winning.

Consequent upon this preamble, I would like to share six ways by which you can actually chart a winning course for yourself, without necessarily feeling guilty that you are not playing the script of another person.

▪Does it matter when you sleep or awake?

▪In what state are you when your ideas creep in?

▪What are your strengths as a business or a person?

▪What value do you add to those within your space?

Be yourself, because an original is worth more than a copy – Anonymous

To thine own self be true... Thou canst not be false to any man – William Shakespeare

From times past, one statement I have heard people make is “Self-confidence makes a man.” Another one is that, “A man needs self-confidence to excel in life.” While it is almost difficult to cast aside these two statements, it is important to x-ray the make-up of self-confidence, or to discover what it is that people refer to when they claim to possess self-confidence. Are we sure that what people have is not false confidence?

What is self-confidence?

Given this premise, it might be needful to ask: Is it possible for you to overrate your belief in yourself, while underrating the challenges before you? In other words, is it possible to be overly confident in yourself, while being oblivious of the issues that confront you? Of course, it is, provided that nothing is impossible; and that one can truly be arrogant. Another question is: Where do you draw the line between self-confidence [being self-aware of your strength], as opposed to over assessing or overestimating yourself?

It is absolutely critical to see self-confidence through the lens of what it is not, so as not to cast off our true confidence in our abilities which we have developed over time; or underestimate our skills which we have deployed as solutions; or fail to properly assess our competencies which, over time, have become inestimable value to a thumping majority of men and entities.

Let me share a few thoughts for now:

▪Is your self-confidence like the emptiness characterised by the nonsense some politicians talk?

There is no denying that it takes only a discerning mind that has the knowledge of the antecedents of the speaker/politician in question, to differentiate the few genuine ones from the unscrupulous lot. Unfortunately, such informed minds are often in the minority. Though few, these minority possess strong and underlying foundation of sincerity in their make-up. Their words are weighty and dependable. You can hold on to them because it’s their bond. They will say “yes” only when that is what they mean. They are, therefore, inseparable from integrity...

Courage is doing what you are afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you are scared – Eddie Rickenbacker

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear – Ambrose Redmoon

Let me start by relaying the source of the inspiration to write this. Actually, I was brooding on what courses to either add or remove from the list of my first quarter 2016 Impact/Leadership Development Training, when it occurred to me to consider courage.

I was fascinated at the thought, but the first contention was whether courage was a skill like other skills [critical thinking, problem-solving, entrepreneurship, agility, adaptation, communication, et cetera]. I jumped out of bed and began to research.

Naturally, the lexicon was my first port of call. The Oxford Advanced Learner’s English Dictionary had this to say about courage: The ability to do something dangerous, or to face pain or opposition, without showing fear.

That startled me a bit and put two thoughts in me instantly: For one, courage is an ability; not a skill. Two, Nelson Mandela’s idea of courage not necessarily being the absence of fear. Of course, your skills enable you to get stuff done and make impact.

I probed further to confirm what skill is, and the same lexicon says that skill is the ability to do something well. They both are, therefore, categorised as abilities. So, if courage is an ability and skill is ability, it, thus, means that we can develop courage in the selfsame way that we can develop whatever skills.

Yes, we can muster and pluck courage from wherever we have it stored up: in our psyche; from within; as a developmental, experimental and experiential bank; or from wherever. But essentially, we can reach for it and use it to confront our fears.

It’s not unusual to hear someone say, “I lacked the courage to face my fears,” or as the same lexicon says, “Lack the courage of my convictions,”which is interpreted as not being brave enough to do what you feel or what you are persuaded or convinced is right. That’s really serious, you know.

The fact is, you know something is right and, so right that it keeps you awake at night, surfaces in your dreams when you sleep, and almost gives you nightmares. When you read anything, albeit something seemingly unrelated, it pops up and, even when someone says something that is not necessarily related to it, it comes back to you, always pushing you to act.

If you fail to act on that tugging and pulling force, you might lose an opportunity you would regret in a lifetime. Think about it. Though an opportunity may come back to you, it may not be in the same package and similitude.

Now, that’s not exactly my drift here.

Spend time and learn to develop your personal resources – Alexander Reid Martins

In the game of impact and trying to position oneself for value, different persons have different yardsticks for measuring success, and how they wish to exhibit same. Such varying parameters include the number of acquired properties, including cars, wives and even children; stocks owned; certificates acquired; positions occupied and more. And these, incidentally, determine where and how they invest their resources and channel their energies.

Today, with changing values come new demands – specific skills are required for impact to be made in the value chain. In effect, the course of study and area of specialisation that people pursue is becoming increasingly a cause for concern. In an unfortunate twist, however, not many are really paying attention to the question of “What value do I hope to add?” in the ever-changing needs of the environment, because not every course of study has specific, relevant and readily sought-after values to add to the market space.

Pointedly, my encounter with many young and able-bodied persons seeking employment made me realise that although they had earned degrees, quite regrettably, some of them are unemployable. Worse still, only few are aware of this. The solution, for some, is to quickly acquire another degree and some certification, and the pursuit continues for years on end.

To be frank, these cannot solve their problems because quite a number of those acquisitions do not teach real and practical problem-solving and work-ready skills that are required in today’s largely competitive market. This is where the real problem lies. No employer of labour wants to hire what they term a liability: young people they will train, teach, mentor and pay salaries to; and in less than six to twelve months of engagement, they want to move on to pastures new.

The brand called “YOU”

▪ How is your personal grooming like?

▪ What are your personal resources?

I have been at zero a few times; came back a few times and done it over and over. I’ve had to change careers several times. Sometimes because my interests changed; sometimes because all bridges have been burned beyond recognition; sometimes because I desperately needed money. And sometimes just because I hated everyone in my old career, or they hated me – James Altucher

This title is quite paradoxical, right? Well, the good news is that paradoxes are neither lies nor half-truths. They are, in fact, just words that appear contradictory; but the reality is that they are true in every way.

That being said, the mind that is set on success, winning and making impact, is already potentially at that juncture, before it becomes a reality. This is because it sees the “big picture,” envisions a possible end, has a fair idea of what the result might be; and so it’s ready to forge ahead, regardless of the multiple challenges it encounters. For such minds, rejection is the tonic that propels them to the impossible heights they reach.

Rejections actually energise, rather than dampen morale.

Wow! Did I say something you probably never really thought about until now? Well, there is always a first time and that is why we are infested by the learning bug.

Let us consider a few premises and see if the dots will connect:

Living for a purpose: If you are living for a purpose, you do not bother about the present distress. You know the purpose for which you are here.

Having a definite chief aim

There can be really down moments and discouraging times, but like people often say, “Tough times don’t last; tough people do.” They know that the present is only the guiding experience and light for the future, which they are curiously living in currently.

It is the same when it is the opposite. Going through hard times at the moment is merely preparing and equipping you for the future. Further to this, you live in the assurance that these challenges will not consume you, but would rather push you towards the attainment of your goals: short, medium and long term.

It is about learning the ropes. Rejections actually teach the requisite lessons required to manage the success of tomorrow. Or didn’t you know that it is much more difficult to manage success than to find or achieve it?

How do I discover my purpose for living?...

For almost two decades, I mentored high school students formally and informally [in and outside the school system]. Many of these mentor-protégé relationships have blossomed beyond school and otherwise, as the beneficiaries (mentees/protégés) still seek guidance in different areas of life, regardless of their accomplishments. With recourse to experience, I have realised that formal education does not teach life skills.

Protégés and mentees still yearn for counsel on the issues of life. This isn’t because they have not attained independence, but because they have learned to use interdependence and stay connected to a proven source, to foster and emphasise the value of lifelong learning – one of the strongest values of the programme [mentorship] that aims to infuse leadership ideals into humans from adolescence through adulthood.

Over 13 years after imparting and impacting on youngsters [now men], many of them always gave feedback. Against that backdrop, these two had the following to say:

Every line I read here resonates with me in a unique way; it is almost like I am being spoken to directly. I am sure anybody else out there who is aiming for more than the ordinary in life can relate to this the same way. Truly, they have a way to thrust through the cerebral with their teachings – Nasir O. Mohammed

I have always been taught by this man since I was in SS2. I’m a legal practitioner now and I am still being taught. He is mind-blowing– Koko Umana

These were adolescents and teenagers when they were mentored and coached. But today, they are professionals, stalwarts and bigwigs in their chosen fields. Nasir, on the one hand, is a financial expert who majors on investments and funds management. He runs his outfit in an exclusive area in Lagos and still attends my trainings. Koko Umana, on the other hand, is a legal practitioner.

For the conscious mind, the role of mentoring is a no-brainer at appreciating long-lasting impact. In addition, it is no small opportunity at providing resourceful information that can change the leadership game in every sphere and endeavour. Things do change, courtesy of dynamism, technologies, systems and policies, among others. Nonetheless, if the question of leadership is solved, we can go to sleep with the assurance that even if things go wrong or change, we will always find operable solutions.

As a teacher in the school system years back, the mentoring tool came in handy, as we tried to arrest wastage, achieve total and meticulous teacher-student engagement through monitoring, inspire learning in students, instill independence while encouraging interdependence, imbibe the culture of commitment to school, promote societal values and attain a holistic child development. These objectives could only be achieved through the only cost-effective, seamless and unquantifiable tool available to us: student mentoring. The ensuing results were tremendous, to say the least.

Basically, mentoring plays these five roles:...

For clarity’s sake, argumentation is not about the winning of arguments. We do not engage in arguments because we just want to open our mouths. Well put, an argument is a cerebral or mind engagement that involves reasonable interactions between or among the parties involved. Thus, it is an intellectual exercise; a property of critical thinking, which is the process of reasoning systematically in support of an idea, action, belief or theory for the greater good of society.

True Purpose of Argument

The real reason we engage in an argument or discourse is often lost on the majority today. We have confused an argument with a contest that engenders strife, unhealthy rivalry or ill will, instead of a thought-provoking, intellectual exercise aimed at illuminating the mind, and creating awareness which empowers one with knowledge that can be used by anyone who has acquired it via listening intently.

That is the basis of any form of communication, anyway. For example, if at the end of reading this, you do not take anything away that you could apply to solve a problem, you would have wasted very precious time. But an even bigger problem is that many hardly ever read, let alone apply workable principles inked in books.

Argumentation is a selfless exercise. You are not in it for personal aggrandisement, but for the general good. It has to do with living outside yourself, and beyond the confines of your belief system. Supposedly, you have heard or read about true greatness being the ability to live outside oneself, haven’t you?

The purpose of engaging in an argument can be likened to this. It is essentially for the benefit of others. You adduce reasons, draw and infer conclusions and, apply them to a case, so that your listeners can apply what they learn to real-life situations. That is the idea behind critical thinking...