In this episode, Jed revisits the frame-surface-plan technique for preventing an increase in the emotional distance we feel with others. In Chapter 5, he introduced the technique using the example of sharing an apartment with someone. This time, he explores how the frame-surface-plan conversation needs to change if it happens after the lease is signed, after moving in, after problems come up, or after problems re-occur. He shows how curiosity can be used to get to the bottom of why someone is being obstinate or blows up during the conversation, and how to turn that around to improve connection.

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