Mapping New Common Ground

In this episode, Jed introduces Premise 3 of the Story Collector Mindset: Throughout life, we each build a unique collection of stories…imperfectly. To clarify the notion of the story collection, he gives examples of stories he collected while growing up - some that he doesn’t remember collecting, and some he very much did. He talks about why even two people witnessing the same event can wind up with different stories about it. He talks about why hearsay so often delivers corrupted stories. Then, in service to compassion for everyone, he shares something that’s challenging to hear: all of us hold stories that we believe in passionately that are inaccurate, just because of the way the brain human brain works.

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In this episode, Jed continues the series on the Story Collector Mindset. This mindset contains a number of premises that build on each other, that together, radically shift the way we think about ourselves and others. Here the focus is on the second premise: We communicate by telling and listening to each other’s stories… imperfectly.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit storyforces.substack.com

In this episode, Jed begins a series on the Story Forces Mindset that’s behind all the others: The Story Collector Mindset. This mindset contains a number of premises that build on each other. Together, they radically shift the way we think about ourselves and others. Together, they make compassion for ourselves and others automatic, rather than something that is doled out on a case by case basis.

This episode focuses on the first premise: Our inner storyteller is relentless… and imperfect.

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In this episode, Jed finishes the examples for Compelling Seeds, a technique for changing another’s mind in a single, short conversation. This time the focus is on the final step, Glue in You, where you tell a personal story from your past that grounds the feelings you have on the current issue.

Along the way, Jed shares a simplified explanation for Compelling Seeds, to show how life may have already taught you one or more of the three steps. He does a quick review of relevant wisdom from others on storytelling and influence.

Then Jed explains how to figure out what personal story to tell, how to structure it, and how to bring it to life.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit storyforces.substack.com

In this episode, Jed gives examples with particular wording for Feed a Need, the first step in a Compelling Seeds conversation - the technique for changing someone’s mind in a single, short conversation. Each example addresses a particular need, either the need for belonging, being heard, being respected, or being needed. He does this for three different situations where you might want to change someone’s mind: a friend on the other side of some issue, a protester on the other side of the issue, and a family member estranged over an issue.

Then Jed introduces the House Tour Visualization - an apt analogy for the process of Beholding Their Gold, the second step of Compelling Seeds.

Finally, two techniques are given for “buckling up” for the ride of hearing someone out that you disagree strongly with: Buckling-up-by-counting and buckling-up-with-suspense. These help you stay on task of hearing them out rather than abiding the urge to push back and interrupting the other person.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit storyforces.substack.com

In this episode, Jed fleshes out Compelling Seeds, a technique for changing someone’s mind in a single, short conversation.

For the first step, Feed a Need, he suggests how to start the conversation with an estranged family member, a friend, and a stranger at a protest by the opposition. Then he gives examples of the types of basic human needs you can address as you open the conversation.

For the second step, Behold Their Gold, where the other person talks through the way they see the issue you asked about, he walks through a reframing - how to give yourself a sense that the anger in the other person isn’t aimed at you, but is instead a distress call, a distress call that you can answer.

For the final step, Glue in You, he explains how to right-size the story you share in response - the origin story of the feelings you have about the issue at hand. He talks about the importance of reflecting back some of what the other person shared. Then he shares how to most effectively plant the seed - how best to pull the other person in, make your story the most compelling, and the most memorable. He shows how the connection mindsets covered in prior chapters suggest a particular flow to accomplish those three goals. Then he brings in bits of advice from experts in storytelling and persuasion on how to flesh out the story.

Next, Jed talks about thinking through your story ahead of time. Having an easy-to-remember outline will help you tell a better story in the moment. Doing this for each of the issues you feel strongly about will give you a library that you can pull from for any potential encounter where you want to change the other person’s mind.

Finally, he touches on the situation where you and the other person are living in different realities, and the implications of this for Compelling Seeds.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit storyforces.substack.com

In this episode, Jed shifts to the problem of changing someone’s mind who doesn’t want it to be changed - instead, they want to change your mind. This is the more typical situation we are in when across a political divide from someone. Jed introduces a technique called Compelling Seeds, which, unlike a debate, takes into consideration the emotional anchors that hold our opinion stories in place. It’s the design of a short conversation, where one can plant a seed in the other’s mind - a seed that can take root and affect future intuitions and reasoning.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit storyforces.substack.com

In this episode, Jed lays more groundwork for how to change the mind of someone who is across a political chasm from you. He adds a few more concepts, sticking to the simpler case from last time - changing the mind of someone who wants their mind to be changed. They are stuck on a story that isn’t serving them well, and they want to shift to a different story that does serve them well.

He drills down into the concept of story stepping across a story bridge, to focus on how best to take a single step. He gives vivid visualizations for how a single step can go well or go badly. It makes clear how moving into a compatible story allows you to keep your balance and not be burdened with extra work. It also makes clear what extra work befalls you when the second story isn’t compatible with the first.

Also in this episode, Jed distinguishes between world-out-there stories - facts about the world and our interpretations of those facts - and how-I’m-doing stories - the emotions we express and the feelings we have about those world-out-there stories. The story we choose for stepping into can achieve compatibility using either of these types of stories.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit storyforces.substack.com

In this episode, Jed uses some guided imagery to solidify the concept that strong feelings anchor stories, putting us under a sort of spell. Next, he tries to convince the listener that for real world scenarios of any complexity, the chances of any one person having all the facts straight are very small.

Next, Jed pulls a concept from a future episode - that it doesn’t make sense to blame someone for holding a particular opinion. He then makes the case that the more divided we become, the more crucial it is that we talk with each other.

Finally, Jed walks through a technique for changing someone’s mind called story stepping. For this first pass, he uses an example where the person wants their mind to be changed, because they are stuck holding a strongly felt story that is sabotaging them.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit storyforces.substack.com

In this episode, Jed uses some guided imagery to solidify the concept that strong feelings anchor stories, and that those string feelings act as a sort of spell. Next, he tries to convince the listener that for real world scenarios of any complexity, the chances of any one person having all the facts straight are very small.

Next, Jed pulls a concept from a future episode - that it doesn’t make sense to blame someone for holding a particular opinion. He then makes the case that the more divided we become, the more crucial it is that we talk with each other.

Finally, Jed walks through a technique for changing someone’s mind called story stepping. For this first pass, he uses an example where the person wants their mind to be changed, because they are stuck, holding a strongly felt story that is sabotaging them.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit storyforces.substack.com