In this episode, I’m joined by award-winning science journalist and author Melissa Hogenboom to explore maternal guilt through a powerful lens: biology, psychology, and culture.

Melissa’s work has deeply influenced my own thinking, and in this conversation, we unpack one of the most important truths about modern motherhood:

Much of what we experience as “personal failure” is, in fact, systemic design.

We explore why women are still carrying too much, how deeply embedded gender norms shape our daily lives, and why even the most empowered, high-performing women can feel stuck in cycles of guilt, overload, and self-doubt.

This is a conversation that will help you zoom out, reframe, and start questioning the narratives you’ve been living inside.

What We Cover

•  Why maternal guilt often feels visceral-and why it isn’t actually about you
•  The difference between internal guilt vs. socially conditioned guilt 
•  The concept of “gendered cognitive stickiness”-and why roles are so hard to shift 
•  How maternal gatekeeping forms (and why it’s not your fault) 
•  Why women still carry the mental load-even when they earn more 
•  The hidden emotional and psychological cost of being a breadwinning mother 
•  Why empowerment (financial + psychological) changes everything 
•  The reality of modern motherhood: too exhausted to build the village we need
•  How connection acts as a buffer against shame, depletion, and isolation 

Key Takeaways

•  You are not failing at motherhood-you are operating inside outdated systems
•  Guilt is often a signal of conflicting societal expectations, not personal inadequacy 
•  Letting go of control (even imperfectly) is a crucial step in reducing mental load 
•  Financial and psychological autonomy are deeply linked to wellbeing 
•  Social connection isn’t a luxury-it’s protective and necessary
•  The solution isn’t doing more-it’s rethinking everything you’ve been told you should be doing

About Melissa

Melissa Hogenboom is an award-winning science journalist and author of The Motherhood Complex and Breadwinners. Her work explores the intersection of biology, psychology, and culture-particularly in relation to motherhood, gender, and identity.

Links & Resources

• Melissa’s website
• Melissa's Instagram
• The Motherhood Complex + Breadwinners – available wherever books are sold 

Work With Me

If this episode resonated and you’re ready to stop internalising guilt and start creating a way of living and working that actually works for you, you can:

• Buy my book Challenge Your Guilt
• Subscribe to my newsletter for weekly insights and support 
• Email me - [email protected] - for the link to apply for a free 60-minute Motherload Breakthrough call - a powerful starting point for real change.

✨ If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mother who needs to hear that guilt was never hers to carry.

What if the problem isn’t you… but the rules you’ve been living by?

In this powerful and deeply validating conversation, I’m joined by psychotherapeutic counsellor and coach Becky Selbie (also known as Motherway), to unpack one of the most important - and overlooked - drivers of maternal guilt: the invisible rulebook.

Because when you become a mother, you don’t start from scratch.
You inherit a complex set of internalised rules about what it means to be “good.”

Rules about:

•  How much you should give 
•  How patient you should be 
•  What balance should look like 
•  What success, ambition, and sacrifice mean 

And the problem?
Many of these rules are impossible to meet - and guilt becomes the mechanism that keeps you trying.

Together, we explore how this rulebook is formed, why it feels so powerful, and what it really takes to step outside it.

🔍 In this episode, we explore:

•  What the “rulebook” is - and how it quietly shapes your experience of motherhood 
• The difference between micro conditioning (your personal upbringing) and macro conditioning (societal expectations) 
• Why modern mothers are caught between conflicting rulebooks (the “perfect mother” vs “have it all” narrative) 
• How guilt acts as an enforcement mechanism keeping you stuck in impossible standards 
• The powerful distinction between motherhood (the institution) and mothering (your lived experience)
• Why awareness is the first - and most essential - step in breaking free 
• Practical ways to identify and challenge the rules driving your behaviour 
• How your rulebook may be clashing with your partner’s - and what that creates at home 
• Why rewriting the rules is uncomfortable… but ultimately freeing 

🧠 A key takeaway

You are not failing at motherhood.

You are trying to succeed within a system of rules that were never designed to support you.

And when you begin to see that clearly?
 You stop internalising the pressure - and start reclaiming choice.

🌿 About Becky Selbie

Becky is a psychotherapeutic counsellor and coach who supports mothers to understand their internal rulebooks and build a more compassionate, conscious relationship with themselves and their motherhood.

You can find Becky here:

•  Instagram
•  Website

📣 If this episode resonated

If this conversation made you feel seen, I’d love you to:

•  Subscribe to the podcast 
•  Share it with another mother who needs to hear this 
•  Leave a review - it helps more women find this work 

🔗 Work with me

If you’re ready to stop living by impossible standards and start creating a way of working and living that actually works for you:

→ Book a Motherload Breakthrough Call
(application only - email [email protected])
→ Buy my book: Challenge Your Guilt: How to Flourish in Motherhood, Work, and Life

✨ If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mother who needs to hear that guilt was never hers to carry.

In this episode, I’m joined by conscious parenting coach and somatic practitioner Emily Hughes from Finding Flow Parenting.

When we first spoke, she said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“I see far less guilt in parents… and far more shame.”

Not “I did something wrong” - but
“Something is wrong with me.”

And that distinction matters more than we realise.

Because shame doesn’t just sit at the surface.
It lives in the body.
It shapes how we respond to our children.
And it can quietly define how we see ourselves as mothers.

In this conversation, we explore what’s really going on beneath those moments where we lose our temper, spiral into self-criticism, or question whether we’re “cut out” for motherhood.

In this episode, we cover:

• The crucial difference between guilt and shame - and why so many mothers skip straight to shame
• How core beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m failing” drive the shame spiral
• Why shame thrives in secrecy - and begins to dissolve in connection
• The role of the nervous system in parenting triggers and emotional overwhelm
• How neurodiversity and sensitivity can intensify experiences of shame
• The concept of belonging as a buffer to shame - for both mothers and children
• Why rupture is inevitable in family life - and how repair builds deeper connection
• The link between self-acceptance and how we parent our children
• Practical ways to regulate in the moment (even when you’ve completely lost it)
• Somatic tools (including movement and awareness) to release shame from the body

A key insight from this conversation:

Shame isn’t just psychological - it’s physiological.

Emily describes it as an “implosion in the body” - something we feel, not just think.

Which means we can’t just “mindset” our way out of it.

We have to work with the body too.

Why this episode matters

If you’ve ever:

• Snapped at your child and immediately felt like a terrible mother
• Spiralled into self-blame after a difficult moment
• Wondered why some parenting struggles feel so personal

…this episode will help you understand why.

And more importantly, how to respond differently.

About Emily Hughes

Emily Hughes is a conscious parenting coach and somatic practitioner, supporting parents who feel overwhelmed, triggered, or stuck in challenging family dynamics.

Her work focuses on creating “de-shaming spaces” for parents — helping them understand their nervous systems, build emotional awareness, and parent from a place of connection rather than reactivity.

Find Emily:
Website
Instagram

Work with me

If this conversation resonated, and you’re ready to change your relationship with guilt (and shame) at a deeper level:

→ Book a free 60-minute Motherload Breakthrough Call
This is an application-only call for mothers who are ready to step into coaching and do the work - not a quick advice session, but a space to explore whether 1:1 Reframe coaching is right for you. Email me for the link to apply - [email protected]

→ Buy my book Challenge Your Guilt
A practical and compassionate guide to understanding and overcoming maternal guilt.

→ Subscribe to my weekly newsletter
For deeper reflections, tools, and conversations on motherhood, identity, and flourishing.

✨ If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mother who needs to hear that guilt was never hers to carry.

In this episode of Challenge Your Guilt, I’m joined by Clare Willetts - gender equality consultant, founder of Not Only Pink and Blue, and former advertising and brand leader.

Through Not Only Pink and Blue, Clare works with businesses, schools and organisations to challenge gender stereotypes and create more equitable cultures - from the playground to the boardroom.

Clare’s work sits at the powerful intersection of childhood socialisation, maternal guilt, workplace inequality, the limits society places on fathers’ caregiving roles and the impact this has on mothers' lives and careers. This conversation connected so many dots for me.

We talk about how gender stereotypes are learned shockingly early, how they follow us from the playground straight into the workplace, and why initiatives aimed at “fixing women” or “encouraging dads” will always fall short unless we address the system underneath.

Clare shares research and real-world insight from her work with businesses, schools and parents - including some statistics that stopped me in my tracks.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why girls lose around 30% of their confidence by age eight - and why it rarely returns
• How boys as young as seven are taught that anger is the only acceptable emotion
• Why workplace gender equality initiatives often come 20+ years too late
• How caregiving is devalued, feminised, and treated as “lesser” - at work and at home
• Why fathers don’t take up shared parental leave, even when policies exist
• The hidden career penalty mothers absorb - and why men are watching it happen
• How “parenting out loud” is praised in men but penalised in women
• Why rolling back DEI isn’t neutral - it’s a brand and trust risk
• What meaningful change would actually require (hint: it’s cultural, not cosmetic)

This conversation is essential listening if you’re interested in maternal guilt, workplace inequality, gender stereotypes and norms, or the deeper systems shaping modern family life. Clare’s work makes clear that while mothers carry a disproportionate burden, fathers are also constrained by gender norms that limit their emotional expression, caregiving roles and freedom at work - and that meaningful change requires us to address the system as a whole.

Where to find Clare Willetts:

• Website 
• Instagram
• LinkedIn 

✨ If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mother who needs to hear that guilt was never hers to carry.

In this episode, I’m joined by Esther Amira-Opie, a natural therapist and women’s health practitioner, for a deeply honest and compassionate conversation about maternal guilt, health anxiety, burnout, and learning to listen to our bodies as mothers.

Esther shares her own journey from corporate healthcare into holistic practice, including how postnatal depletion, stress, and a pre-diabetes diagnosis became a turning point in how she understood health, balance, and self-care. Together, we explore the invisible pressures modern mothers are under - and how guilt so often shows up around our children’s health, our work, and our own needs.

This episode is especially for you if you’ve ever:

• Felt guilty for not doing “enough” for your child’s health
• Questioned past medical decisions with the benefit of hindsight
• Struggled to rest, sleep, or switch off without feeling selfish
• Felt torn between modern medicine and more holistic approaches
• Known what you “should” do for your wellbeing - but found it hard to actually do it

In our conversation, we explore:

• Why guilt is such a constant companion for so many mothers - especially self-employed and working mums
• The pressure to “bounce back” after birth, and how this harms women’s physical and mental health
• Esther’s experience of burnout, hair loss, over-training, and stress - and what her body was trying to tell her
• An integrative approach to health, where modern medicine and holistic support can coexist
• How maternal intuition gets undermined - and why learning to trust ourselves again matters
• The role of sleep, stress, gut health, breathwork, and nervous system regulation in women’s wellbeing
• Why perfectionism keeps us stuck - and how small, compassionate changes really add up
• The powerful reframe of moving from a to-do list to a ta-da list

Throughout the episode, Esther reminds us that when we know better, we do better - and that guilt has no place in decisions made from love, care, and the information we had at the time 

About Esther Amira Opie

Esther is a natural therapist and women’s health practitioner who supports women to find balance, wellbeing, and confidence in their bodies and lives. Her work is grounded, practical, and compassionate - focusing on root causes rather than quick fixes, and helping women work with their bodies rather than against them.

🔗 Find Esther here:

• Website
• Instagram

If this episode resonated with you:

• Subscribe to Challenge Your Guilt so you don’t miss future conversations
• Share this episode with another mother who’s carrying too much
• Leave a review - it really helps this podcast reach more women

✨ If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mother who needs to hear that guilt was never hers to carry.

In this episode of Challenge Your Guilt, I’m joined by Lauren Currie OBE - social entrepreneur, author, activist and founder of Upfront, a global movement supporting women and marginalised genders to build confidence, take up space and feel braver together.

I’ve admired Lauren’s work for a long time, because so much of what she explores - confidence, visibility, shame, shrinking and self-censorship - sits right at the heart of the maternal guilt conversations I have with mothers every day.

In our conversation, we explore how guilt and confidence are deeply interconnected, and how many women - particularly mothers - are trapped in a cultural double bind where confidence is encouraged in theory, but punished in practice.

Lauren explains why women don’t “lack confidence” - and how living in a system that penalises confident women leads many of us to avoid conflict, over-function, and take responsibility for everything and everyone. The result? Guilt, exhaustion and a constant sense of not being enough.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why the so-called “confidence gap” is systemic, not personal
• How women are praised for being accommodating, but punished for being assertive
• The double bind that keeps mothers stuck between being too much and never enough
• Why guilt often feels safer than conflict - and what that costs us
• Lauren’s idea of “runaway guilt”, and how low confidence erodes boundaries
• How motherhood intensifies guilt even when you intellectually “know better”
• What it looks like to notice guilt without letting it run the show

Lauren also shares honestly about guilt in her own motherhood journey - from early working-mother guilt, to the emotional pull between ambition, presence and rest - and how she now meets guilt with awareness rather than self-attack.

We also talk about Lauren’s children’s book Taylor Meets the Trick, and how giving families simple language to name patriarchy can remove shame, defensiveness and silence - not just for children, but for adults too.

I close by asking Lauren one question I return to often on this podcast:
What is one small act of courage a mother could take this week if she’s feeling stuck in guilt, self-doubt or invisibility?

Her answer is deceptively simple - and incredibly powerful.

🔗 Links & Ways to Connect with Lauren

If this conversation resonated and you’d like to explore Lauren’s work further, here are the best places to find her:

📲 Follow Lauren on Instagram:

Lauren Currie (personal account)

Taylor Meets the Trick (children’s book)

Upfront (confidence & community)

Lauren also writes regularly on LinkedIn and Substack, and I know she’d genuinely love to hear what landed for you from this episode.

📚 Books Mentioned in This Episode

Taylor Meets the Trick
A playful, powerful children’s book that gives families simple language to talk about patriarchy, gender roles and “the trick” - without shame or blame.

Be Upfront: 24 Rules for Life-Changing Confidence (published February '26)
Lauren’s first non-fiction book, distilling over a decade of confidence-building work into practical, culture-shifting insights.

💛 If You Enjoyed This Episode

Please subscribe, rate and share Challenge Your Guilt - it really helps this podcast reach more mothers who need these conve

✨ If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mother who needs to hear that guilt was never hers to carry.

What if laughter isn’t just a coping mechanism for motherhood - but a quiet act of resistance against guilt and shame?

In this episode of Challenge Your Guilt I'm joined by comedian, actor and creator of the much-loved Instagram account @thefunnymummyuk, Alyssa Kyria. Known for her razor-sharp parodies and unfiltered honesty, Alyssa shares the story behind her work, her experiences of maternal guilt, and why humour has become one of her most powerful tools for survival, connection and self-compassion.

Together, we explore guilt in all its messy forms - from working motherhood and being a parent of an only child, to phone addiction, mental load, screen guilt and the pressure to look like you’re coping. This is a conversation about honesty over perfection, empathy over shame, and why laughing at the chaos might just help us put some of the guilt down.

Warm, funny and deeply validating, this episode will leave you feeling less alone - and very likely laughing along.

What We Cover in This Episode

• Alyssa’s journey from actor and character comedy to @thefunnymummyuk
• Why becoming a mother changed how she shows up creatively
• Maternal guilt through the lens of having one child
• The guilt of working, touring and missing key moments
• Mental health, burnout and the pressure to always appear “fine”
• Why curated social media feeds fuel maternal guilt
• Phone addiction, boundaries and the impact on family life
• Screen guilt, mental load and modern motherhood
• How humour helps dissolve shame and restore connection
• Laughing at ourselves as a form of emotional resilience
• Alyssa’s upcoming podcast Cringe & Tell and future projects

Key Takeaways

• Guilt shows up no matter how many children you have - there is no “right” way to mother
• Shame thrives in isolation, but laughter creates connection
• You are not failing - you’re responding to impossible standards
• Humour can help us step out of self-judgement and into compassion
• Being honest about the hard parts of motherhood matters

Find Alyssa online:

• Instagram & Facebook: @thefunnymummyuk
• Website: https://alyssakyria.com/

Links & Resources

• Buy the book: Challenge Your Guilt: How to Flourish in Motherhood, Work and Life
• Apply for a free Motherload Breakthrough Call with Belinda
• Subscribe to Belinda’s weekly newsletter for reflections on motherhood, work and guilt

✨ If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mother who needs to hear that guilt was never hers to carry.

In this rich & energising conversation, I'm joined by writer, multi-award-winning blogger & long-time flexible working campaigner Vicki Broadbent - known to many as @honestmum - whose digital career began after leaving her role as a screenwriter & TV director when motherhood collided with an inflexible industry.

The author of Mumboss and Greek Myths, Folk Tales & Legends, Vicki has built one of the UK’s most recognisable digital platforms while raising her three children - & advocating for mothers’ rights, visibility & creativity along the way.

We explore how guilt showed up in Vicki’s early years of motherhood, how identity loss & creative reinvention shaped her path, & what 15 years online has taught her about women’s voices, misogyny, stigma, & the pressures mothers still carry today. 

What we cover:

✨ The early career pivot that wasn’t really a choice

Vicki shares how the TV & film world made it almost impossible to combine directing with raising a baby - & the subtle (and not-so-subtle) stigma she faced for becoming pregnant at 27 in a male-dominated industry. 

✨ The constant undertow of mum-guilt

We discuss guilt as the “side dish of motherhood” - from being physically separated from your child for work, to trying to work around them at home, to the emotional whiplash of being endlessly stretched, responsible & tired. 

✨ Flexible work: blessing or burden?

Vicki shares how working digitally gave her more presence with her children - but also came with increased expectations & mental load, reinforcing gendered roles even when both partners wanted equality. 

✨ Fathers, stigma and the pressure to “provide”

We discuss how stigma, financial norms & patriarchal expectations also constrain fathers - keeping equality stalled & mothers overloaded. 

✨ The mental load and the quiet crisis of modern parenthood

From crying in the car after drop-off to the exhaustion of juggling kids, care, work, after-school clubs & emotional labour - Vicki names the hidden strain so many parents carry. 

✨ The culture of comparison & social media’s influence on maternal guilt

We talk candidly about how curated feeds, beauty standards, pressures on girls, & toxic masculinity messages shape how children grow up - & how mothers feel. 

✨ Creativity as the thread back to yourself

Vicki shares how blogging, writing & storytelling helped her rebuild a sense of identity after traumatic birth & career upheaval - & why creativity is still her anchor. 

✨ Her new book: Greek Myths, Folk Tales & Legends

Vicki explains the emotional & ancestral pull behind retelling Greek stories for a modern audience, how she researched & reimagined characters, & why writing this book was unexpectedly grounding & healing. 

Links

• Buy Vicki’s book: Greek Myths, Folk Tales & Legends
• Connect with Vicki: @honestmum
• Buy Belinda’s book: Challenge Your Guilt
• Apply for a free Motherload Breakthrough Call
• Subscribe to the Flourishing Mother newsletter

✨ If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mother who needs to hear that guilt was never hers to carry.

In this episode, I'm joined by Siobhan Strode - writer, campaigner, business owner, and mother of three - for a raw, wide-ranging conversation about the evolving nature of mum guilt and what it means to raise children in a world that can feel increasingly fractured.

Together we explore:

• How guilt shifts across the seasons of motherhood - from toddler tantrums and TV time to teenage independence and phone boundaries.
• The transition from employment to self-employment, and how freedom and flexibility can both ease and amplify maternal guilt.
• Why guilt isn’t a personal flaw but a systemic issue rooted in patriarchal expectations and the undervaluing of care.
• The challenge of mothering in a broken world - climate crisis, global conflict, and social injustice - and the deeper “existential guilt” that many parents feel.
• Raising socially conscious, compassionate children through honest conversations, empathy, and action.
• Finding hope by nurturing imagination, community, and collective change.

This is an honest, moving, and ultimately hopeful dialogue about guilt, grief, privilege, and purpose - and how mothers can model both empathy and agency for the next generation.

Connect with Siobhan Strode
👉 siobhanstrode.com
👉 Instagram @siobhan.strode

Work with Belinda Jane Batt
💬 Book your free Motherload Breakthrough Call
— a pre-coaching conversation for mothers ready to reflect and take action.
📖 Buy Challenge Your Guilt: How to Flourish in Motherhood, Work and Life

📰 Subscribe to the weekly newsletter

🎧 Listen to previous podcast episodes

✨ If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mother who needs to hear that guilt was never hers to carry.

Why do mothers feel guilty no matter what we do?

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr Sophie Brock – sociologist, motherhood studies expert, and one of the biggest influences on my own work – to explore how maternal guilt isn’t a personal flaw but a product of the world we’re swimming in.

Sophie introduces her powerful Fish Tank of Motherhood model, explains the roots of the Perfect Mother Myth, and shows how guilt, privilege, and social expectations intersect to shape our daily experience of mothering.

We talk about the difference between mothering and motherhood, why “good enough” is healthier than “perfect,” and how small acts of self-care and rebellion can help mothers reclaim space, joy, and self-worth.

If you’ve ever wondered why it feels impossible to get motherhood “right,” this conversation will change how you see guilt – and yourself.

🎧 Listen now, and let’s start dismantling the myth together.

📖 You can also read more in my book Challenge Your Guilt: How to Flourish in Motherhood, Work and Life.

👉 And if you’re ready to go deeper, apply for a free 60 minute Motherload Breakthrough Call – a pre-coaching conversation for mothers ready to reflect and take action.

💌 Or subscribe to my newsletter for more reflections and resources each week.

✨ If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mother who needs to hear that guilt was never hers to carry.