When comparing toxic relationships vs. healthy relationships, there are many differences. Boundaries are handled differently. Reciprocity is one-way in one and two-way in the other. One has mutual understanding; the other doesn't. Only one has mutual goodwill and cooperation. 

Another difference is how ruptures and repairs are handled. All relationships have conflict and disagreements. All relationships have ups and downs, but not all know how to fix those issues and heal the wounds. Knowing how to recognize the differences can help you identify dysfunctional, toxic relationships, adjust your expectations, and plan your response. All of these strategies will help you make decisions to protect yourself now and in the future.

Toxic and healthy relationships have ruptures, but only healthy ones have repairs. Watch this video to get insight into how to identify toxic people and healthy people in the way they handle this difference.   

Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. 

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Caregiver burnout is common for people who are caring for another person. Watch this video to learn how to recognize it and how to care for yourself along with the other person.

Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.

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Have you struggled with setting boundaries with the marijuana smokers in your life?  Do you wonder if it should be okay with you when it is not okay with you? The increase in the use of pot is related to its legalization in many states. With that comes its normalization. Many now believe that is less harmful than alcohol. It isn't easy to tells someone that you don't approve of its use when they can argue that it is accepted and no big deal.

Making decisions about marijuana are easier when you know the facts about it. This video will review a recent article about a meta-study on it's effects on the brain, especially if it is link to an increase in psychosis. It also presents other facts about marijuana that will help you decide.

Watch this video to help you decide whether you need boundaries with pot smokers. 

Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.

Written copy of this "Boundaries with Marijuana Users"

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Dealing with slobs is problematic. You can't make them neat and you can't live with the mess. Watch this video to learn what you can do.

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One of the things we do in difficult relationship is use all or nothing thinking. This means when we see someone do things that are bad, we see the person as bad. When we see the person do things that are good, we see the person as good. This confuses us when we think that we have it figured out. It is better to think a different way.

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Don and Alexandra (Alex) Flecky were married in 1980 and quickly discovered that baggage from their families of origin showed up in their relationship. They, like many other couples, found that their love for each other was hijacked by their reactionary interpretation of each other's communication.

Their personal experience figuring out how to change their own communication patterns, along with their professional experience working with couples, led Don and Alex to co-author CoupleTalk: Cracking the Code to an Amazing Relationship. In this podcast, they explain why and how their workshop is different than other programs. 

They currently head the Relationship Research Foundation, Inc., a nonprofit organization that applies proven relationship-strengthening techniques and develops innovative resources to help today’s couples improve their marriages. Previously, the Fleckys served as Shepherds of Marriage Ministries at their home church, Fullerton Free Church (California). Don is licensed as a pastor in the Evangelical Free Church of America and does pastoral counseling. Alex has B.A. and M.A. degrees in Communication Studies, with a focus on Argument and Persuasion, and has taught communication courses at California State University, Fullerton.

For over 35 years, they have taught and coached thousands of couples on six continents. They regularly speak at conferences, churches, ministerial groups, marriage retreats, and community events. They are sought out by various churches and non-profit organizations to teach couples classes, train class leaders, develop cutting-edge methods to help couples, and launch specialized couples programs.

The Fleckys love using stories from their own marital struggles to give hope to couples. They have three adult children, one granddaughter, and a Sheepadoodle.  They enjoy jet skiing, traveling, and getting a rush out of helping couples.

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Is the Bible all you need for your life and relationships? The majority of Christians and pastors would answer, "Absolutely." It is taught in sermons and Sunday School and is the message of songs sung over many years. It almost seems heretical to ask it. 

Yet, it matters because misunderstandings about this issue can cause confusion and pain in people's lives, especially when they are searching for answers. Christian relationship advice often fails to apply the Bible in practical ways that help, especially when it is rigid. 

Watch this video to find the answer to the question, "Is the Bible all you need for your life and relationships."   #bible #christianrelationshipadvice #scripturaltruth 

Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.

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What is the difference between a boundary and a wall? Watch this video to think about the differences and when you might want to consider one vs the other.  

Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.

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Emotional intelligence includes understanding that emotions can be primary or secondary. Recognizing this will help you to be less emotionally reactive in your relationships. Many in dysfunctional, toxic relationships struggle with identifying what causes their emotional reactivity, especially when past triggers contribute and intensify the responses. 

The more you understand about your emotions, the easier it will be to make sense of them. It is crucial that you can trace the links between other people's actions and your emotions.  This includes identifying why you are upset and what feelings come first and second. This will also increase your awareness of what is going on in the other person's feelings and reactions.

Watch this video to increase your emotional intelligence.    

Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.

Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Z2NJCg3otYc