In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I share how my relationship with failure has evolved over the years.

I believe being afraid of failure has held me back so much in life. Today, I want to talk not only about my own journey, but how the lessons I’ve learned about failure can help you along your journey, as well.

Everyone is afraid of one of two things depending on where we are in life: failure or success. The latter, because we like to stick to the status quo, and success means horizons and, therefore, new challenges. We fear that newness.

Failure, of course, is the fear that most of us are more familiar with. We grow up believing that failure is not an option, that we are useless and weak if we don't win.

But I learned, over time, that failure is the platform to success. You cannot achieve success without failure.

Failure Builds Character

If we don’t fail, we don’t learn.

I never failed spectacularly at anything until after my 30s. That’s not bragging. That’s regret.

I wish I had pushed myself harder throughout my early life. I know I could have grown so much more.

Today, as a mom, I believe that my job is to push my kids—now 8 and 11—to fail. I want to encourage them at every turn to face their fears and take big challenges one step at a time to prove to themselves that they are capable.

The more we allow our kids to fail, the more lessons they take away from those experiences as a result.

Failure builds character. It helps us become the person we need to become. That stronger, wiser person can carry the success we crave, that we in our current state don’t yet deserve. Failure molds us for success.

We Pay Our Dues Sooner or Later

Because I never failed till I reached my 30s, I had to pay my dues relatively late in life, when I was already a married woman.

I hadn’t figured out who I was at that point in time. I was a rebel. It drove my husband crazy.

I wasn’t even close to who I am today. It took a failed corporate career and two businesses for me to finally start growing.

Failure is not an end. It’s a step toward success. But it has to happen sooner or later if we are to grow into who we are meant to become. Perfection doesn’t exist, so we need to take the pressure off to always get it right.

Enjoy the Journey

Every step I take, whether it gives me the results I want or not, leads me to the eventual destination.

I’ve learned to enjoy the ride. That takes the bitterness out of failure.

Marinate in the wins. Celebrate what goes right, no matter how small. That takes the sting out of failure. In fact, I like to say that failure adds flavor to life.

Why do we enjoy hearing stories about the Oprahs of the world? It’s not her successes, but her failures—specifically how she overcame them—that inspires us. We realize that if they can do it, we can, too.

Failure is not a waste. It’s a really important investment in your growth.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

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