Children often feel mixed emotions when a new adult enters their lives. They wonder if they can trust them, laugh with them, or look up to them. 

A common mistake step-parents make is expecting respect right away without considering how the child feels. My guest today, Brother Harold Gretzky, shares his experience with blending families. 

He also shares how his experience serving in the United States Navy taught him lessons in honesty, integrity, and transparency that can help anyone navigate relationships and life challenges.

Early Childhood Memories (00:06:34 – 00:15:07)

·  Brother Gretzky shares several memories from his childhood. He grew up near a Cold War missile base and strawberry farms, and he fondly remembers family stories about his grandfathers.

·  He talks about the family’s move from Queens to Michigan, which brought them to an engineering town because of his father’s invention in bowling technology with the Brunswick pin setter. 

·  Brother Gretzky recalls riding his red Schwinn bike and attending Catholic catechism, even though he sometimes would have preferred staying home to watch his favorite cartoons.

Sailing & Family Bonding (00:19:13 – 00:24:19)

·  A major part of Brother Gretzky’s youth was competitive sailing. His father built a sailboat from scratch, a symbol of both ingenuity and family teamwork. 

·  He describes their weekly Sunday races, his father’s growing skill as a skipper, and how sailing became their main outlet. It also taught important life lessons, like sportsmanship and perseverance.

Learning Accountability and Command through Navy Life (00:25:44 – 00:41:00)

·  Brother Gretzky’s time at the Naval Academy and on submarines shaped his views on leadership and responsibility. 

·  He shares dramatic moments, including surviving storms at sea, handling reactor crises, and receiving critical instructions from commanding officers. 

·  These experiences gave him a deep respect for command responsibility and the importance of owning mistakes, both in the military and later in civilian nuclear work.

The Power of Honesty (00:43:16 – 00:46:38)

·  Brother Gretzky shares one of his core lessons: when something goes wrong, bring it forward. He learned this principle under high stakes on submarines and in nuclear power.

·  As he says, "If you’re honest with yourself, there’s always hope." He applies the same mindset to everyday life, including home mishaps and personal relationships.

Stepfatherhood & Parenting Wisdom (00:48:07– 00:49:31)

·  Reflecting on his years as a stepfather, Brother Gretzky openly shares the ups and downs of blending families. 

·  He advises that the title "dad" must be earned and that stepfathers should not get caught up in labels. 

·  Brother Gretzky expresses pride in his three adult stepchildren’s successes, crediting their achievements to a nurturing yet realistic approach to parenting.

“Don’t get wrapped up in expecting a stepchild to call you ‘dad’ because that isn’t the truth. The title ‘dad’ has to be earned. That was the mistake we made at first. When we first got married, we went through some rough spots. I am so pleased that I now have a great relationship with my three stepchildren, and that they’ve all grown into such amazing adults.” - Brother Harold Gretzky.

Grief is a part of the plan, not a glitch in your story. Many people see grief as an inconvenience to be endured or avoided, but as Sister Kim Patton shares in her story, it can actually become a powerful force that helps you grow. In this episode, she sets the tone for a tender and insightful conversation about resilience, faith, and healing after loss.

Growing Up in Connecticut: Faith, Family & Foundations (00:03:29 – 00:08:50)

·  Kim takes us back to 1960s New England, a world shaped by politeness, community tradition, and immigrant and colonial pride.

·  She shares how her parents joined the Church after visiting the 1965 World’s Fair, and how faith became a central part of her life at just four years old. 

·  In a tiny branch where everyone felt like family, Kim learned music, belonging, and early leadership instinctively.

Tragedy & Triumph: Her Father’s Accident (00:08:50 – 00:15:39)

·  At age eight, Kim’s father was catastrophically injured while serving on a welfare farm.

·  Originally quadriplegic, he fought his way back to partial mobility. 

·  His courage and stubborn faith became the foundation of a family culture built on endurance, determination, and never giving up even when outcomes are uncertain.

Birth Order, Caretaking & Not Resenting the Weight (00:15:40 – 00:19:13)

·  As the oldest of eight, Kim had immense responsibility. Yet she never saw it as a burden.

·  She reflects on why she never developed the resentment many firstborns have, and how service inside her own family shaped her sense of stewardship, loyalty, and resilience.

A New World: Moving from Connecticut to the Deep South (00:19:14 – 00:23:01)

·  At 13, Kim is uprooted to South Carolina and steps into a cultural shock she never saw coming. 

·  Different speech, different manners, different expectations, and an entirely different racial landscape.

Integration, Identity & Learning Diversity Up Close (00:23:02 – 00:28:34)

·  Kim shares how living in the South, not the North, is what taught her the deepest lessons about diversity, empathy, and race. 

·  She saw integration not as a historical movement but as a lived reality, and it changed the trajectory of her worldview for life.

BYU, Homesickness & a Relationship That Grew Slowly (00:28:35 – 00:34:55)

·  College brings independence and loneliness. Homesick and worried her youngest siblings would forget her, Kim worked intentionally to stay connected to home. 

·  And then there’s Robes, her future husband, whose courtship with her was as slow and unromantic as they come until persistence turned friendship into something lasting.

Marriage, Adventure & Becoming a Mother (00:34:56 – 00:44:07)

·  The early years of marriage are filled with discovery, travel, maps, and curiosity.

·  Motherhood eventually follows and humbles Kim in unexpected ways. 

·  She learns that parenting is not about control but about truth-telling, grit, and allowing children to build their own resilience.

Florida Years & Robes’ Journalism Career (00:44:08 – 00:49:13)

·  A move to Florida opens the door for Robes’ dream career covering professional sports writing during a golden era for the region. 

·  His unique voice and integrity earned him deep respect, and the family enjoyed a front-row seat to history in the making.

Illness, Loss & the Sacredness of Grief (00:49:14 – 00:55:39)

·  Kim walks us through Robes’ illness and passing with stunning honesty. 

·  She describes the shock, the loneliness of widowhood, and the way community, faith, and temple covenants anchored her and her children.

How to Walk With Grief and With Others in Theirs (00:55:40 – 01:06:41)

·  Kim teaches what most people don’t understand about mourning:

o   Don’t fix grief; witness it.

o   Don’t rush people; sit beside them.

o   Offer specific help, not vague promises.

·  She shares practical, compassionate do’s and don’ts that every listener can use, whether they are grieving themselves or supporting someone who is.

Closing Reflections (01:06:41 – 01:07:00)

·  Kim closes with gratitude, humility, and a reverent honesty about the beauty, complexity, and cost of a life fully lived.

·  Bonus Segment: Stick around after the closing to hear from Kim’s three adult children in a heartwarming and hilarious bonus segment that captures the humor, strength, and legacy their family shares.

“Grief is part of the plan. It is part of being human. Pretending it isn’t there or trying to outrun it never really works. Grief does not disappear; it waits for you. You can ignore it for a while, but eventually it asks to be felt.” - Kim Patton

This podcast, first and foremost, is about becoming who we are truly meant to be. No matter what life we are born into, we all have the power to draw closer to God. In this episode, your host Donald Kelly shares three key things he has learned from hosting this podcast – they have helped him on his journey and we hope they will help you, too.

Everyone Can Change

• Some transformations can be dramatic – we hear stories of receiving revelations or miracles as a catalyst for change. 

• Not all change is that visible, but that doesn’t make it any less important. God frequently comes as the “still, small voice.”

The Power of the Atonement

• The atonement is for everyone, whether their sins are large or small. Because of this, everyone will be resurrected.

• When you don’t repent or believe in Christ, you damn yourself to be outside the presence of God in the afterlife.

Studying the Word of God Brings Peace

• Studying and learning the scriptures brings a certain level of peace to life that we can not reach on our own.

• When we take the time to immerse ourselves in the word of God by studying, reading, and discussing, it enriches our lives and improves our relationship with God.

Thank you for listening to the Changing podcast. If you know anyone who could connect with this or any other episode, consider sending it to them. If you liked what you heard, leave us a rating or review on iTunes. If you need someone to talk to and would like to reach out to Donald, e-mail [email protected], or find him on Twitter or Instagram. 

Getting sucked into material, earthly things happens to us all. You’re not alone if you’ve ever pushed back your church-related activities to take care of work or family. So how do you balance all of the important things in life? In this episode of Changing, your host Donald Kelly gives you three ways to find your eternal perspective so that you can prioritize what truly matters.

Ask yourself, “Why do I do what I do?”

• As you go about your life, do you pray, read scriptures, and attend church because you feel like you have to, or out of a love of God and desire to feel closer to Him?

• Remind yourself that God is the one who created everything and He is more important than riches and possessions.

Ask yourself, “How can this help me draw closer to God?”

• Use the skills and talents you were given by God and improve on them. You can use your skills to serve God, your family, and others in need.

• Find a balance between helping the church, tithing, etc. and spending time with your loved ones and taking care of them.

Habits Matter

• Have good habits that bring you closer to Christ, but not everything has to be consumed by church. It’s okay to have fun, as long as the things you do can help you be a stronger disciple of Christ in the long run.

• It’s important to be mindful of how we spend our time and what mindset we have. Earthly pursuits fade, but the kingdom of God is eternal.

“We need to be conscious of the things that we’re doing, of the perspectives we have. If we are so consumed only on riches, as [the man in the scripture was], if we are consumed only on basketball, or consumed only on getting buff, or consumed only on videogames or doing crime, we are going to find, in the end, that those things are going to wither away. The body’s going to wither away. Those crimes are going to be gone, and all those riches you gained are going to be gone. But – what’s your relationship like with God? What treasures have you built up, what have you saved in Heaven?” – Donald Kelly

If you know someone who could connect with this message, send them this episode and encourage them to subscribe. If you liked what you heard, leave us a rating or review on iTunes. If you need someone to talk to and you’d like to reach out to Donald, e-mail [email protected], or find him on Twitter or Instagram.

Following the path of Jesus Christ means many different things to different people, so how do we know what to do when we’re told to “be more Christlike”? In this episode, your host Donald Kelly shares nine attributes of Christ with you so that you can incorporate them into your life.

1. Faith in Christ

• When you trust and have faith in Christ, you become closer to the spirit, and that gives you the strength to do great things.

• Donald shares a story of when his faith and prayer helped him through a challenging housing situation.

1. Hope

• Optimism and perseverance will help you work through all of the difficulties you face.

• Hope helps us overcome discouragement and have a positive view of the future.

1. Love

• Just like how Christ helped many people, even those society often would not help, we should develop the kind of love that helps us to serve others.

• This kind of love has no strings attached and is not self-centered.

1. Virtue

• A virtuous person will push away thoughts that are not Christlike, even when no one is watching.

• Virtuous people obey God’s commandments, follow the advice of Church leaders, pray for help to overcome sinful thoughts, and quickly repent when they do make mistakes.

1. Knowledge

• Study scriptures every day so that you can better understand the word of God.

• When you become familiar with the scriptures, you can help teach others about your faith.

1. Patience

• Patience is the ability to do God’s will and accept his timing.

• Easier said than done! When you’re feeling the strain of not being happy with the way things are, take a breath, and remember that God’s timing is better than ours.

1. Humility

• Humility is acceptance and acknowledgment of God’s power and love. Being humble is not a sign of weakness – it is a sign of spiritual strength.

• Pride is the opposite of humility and is condemned in the scriptures.

1. Diligence

• Steadfast, constant, and earnest effort in doing the Lord’s work.

• When you face tough moments, stay strong and keep taking positive action.

1. Obedience

• This means following the calling of God, even if you don’t always understand His reasons.

• Through obedience, you achieve freedom in another sense – you gain the capability to do much more.

“This is not a one-and-done thing, it’s an ongoing thing. Be more Christlike. Seek to perfect these attributes in your day-to-day life and, I promise you, you’ll have peace, you’ll have joy, you’ll have happiness.” – Donald Kelly

If you know someone who could connect with this message, send them this episode and encourage them to subscribe. If you liked what you heard, leave us a rating or review on iTunes. If you need someone to talk to and you’d like to reach out to Donald, e-mail [email protected], or find him on Twitter or Instagram. 

As we move past the resurrection Sunday, we are reminded of the pain of loss that comes with death. In this episode, your host Donald Kelly shares five ways we can cope with the pain of grief and mourning. 

5 Ways to Deal With Loss

1. Remember that it’s not the end. We know from John 11:25 that death is a stage of our existence. We live, then we die, but if we have faith in Christ and follow Him, we will join Him in the afterlife.

2. Read the scriptures. They can help to reassure you when things are difficult, as they have for Donald and members of his family.

3. Time heals all things. We will always grieve for those who leave us because we love them, but we are separated from them. Over time, you will still feel the pain, but you will find a way to appreciate the happy memories as well.

4. Be with family and support. If you have friends and family who can share in your grief or support you, reach out to them and support them as well. It is okay to spend some time alone, but do not isolate completely – if you don’t have close family or friends, reach out to members of your church.

5. Serve others. When we serve, we are doing what Jesus Christ would do. Take time to mourn, but when the time is right, go out and help other people.

“Death is a necessary component of our eternal existence. No one knows when it will come, but it is essential to God’s great plan of happiness. Thanks to the Atonement of the Lord, eventual resurrection is a reality and eternal life is a possibility for all humankind… For sorrowing loved ones left behind… the sting of death is soothed by a steadfast faith in Christ, a perfect brightness of hope, a love of God and of all men, and a deep desire to serve them. That faith, that hope, that love will qualify us to come into God’s holy presence and, with our eternal companions and families, dwell with him forever.” – Russell M. Nelson

Resources

John 11:25

Alma 40:11-13

If you know someone who could connect with this message, send them this episode and encourage them to subscribe. If you liked what you heard, leave us a rating or review on iTunes. If you need someone to talk to and you’d like to reach out to Donald, e-mail [email protected], or find him on Twitter or Instagram. 

Happy Easter, listeners! Each year, Easter is an awesome time to celebrate, spend time with friends and loved ones, and enjoy the beginning of longer, warmer days. But we all know there’s so much more to this holiday than chocolate bunnies and hunting for eggs – so what’s it all about? In this episode of Changing, Donald talks with us about the resurrection and its significance on this special day.

Why Was the Resurrection Necessary?

• After Adam and Eve fell from grace, they became spiritually disconnected from God (spiritual death) and became mortal (opportunity for physical death)

• Our salvation relies on a sacrifice of atonement, and this was done by Jesus Christ, as he lived without sin

• Jesus took on our sins and pled for our forgiveness before being crucified

The Power of the Resurrection

• Christ made the promise that he would rise from the tomb, and on Easter Sunday, he was resurrected

• At this moment, he showed that when we atone, we can overcome our spiritual death and reconnect with God

• We can also overcome sin through our connection with God and face all of our challenges with this to give us strength

Resources

Changing Episode 054 - What Exactly is Easter All About?

Alma 34 (contains a verse read by Donald)

John Chapter 10 (contains a verse read by Donald)

How are you spending your Easter? If you know someone who could connect with this message, send them this episode and encourage them to subscribe. If you liked what you heard, leave us a rating or review on iTunes. If you need someone to talk to and you’d like to reach out to Donald, e-mail [email protected], or find him on Twitter or Instagram.

If you or someone you know are going through a difficult time right now, you’re not alone. Whether you’re facing financial struggles, marital issues, workplace challenges, or something completely different, the Lord is always with you. There’s no shame in asking for help, especially from God, who will strengthen you every step of the way.

How Can the Lord Strengthen Us?

• When you face temptation towards sin, know that you won’t ever be given temptation you can not overcome (check out Episode 100 for more on temptation!)

• Think of the challenges you face as opportunities to grow.

• Miracles will happen if you keep your faith and ask the Lord for guidance.

• Remember you’re not alone – facing any challenge by yourself can feel daunting or overwhelming. But in every challenge you face, you have Christ with you.

Donald’s Example of Facing Challenging Circumstances

• In the early pandemic, Donald underwent some workplace difficulties

• Donald also had a young son, and his wife was not working so she could care for their child

• Miracles happened during this time that showed Donald and his family that, through prayer and faith, they would survive and even thrive through their difficult times

“We have the capability or capacity to go through challenging times and be able to rely on the Lord’s help, who can strengthen us through those times.” – Donald Kelly

If you know someone who could connect with this message, send them this episode and encourage them to subscribe. If you liked what you heard, leave us a rating or review on iTunes. If you need someone to talk to and you’d like to reach out to Donald, e-mail [email protected], or find him on Twitter or Instagram. 

When you're faced with temptation over and over, it can make you feel like those temptations have some strength and power over you. While being faced with temptation will push you to choose your faith time and time again, each time you overcome, you grow. In this episode, Donald Kelly talks about facing repetitions of the same temptation, and offers some tips for how you can find strength in those difficult moments.

Why Are We Tempted Repeatedly?

• Life is a test. Even if you commit to righteousness, it doesn't mean you won't ever be tempted.

• Temptation will be targeted toward the weaknesses you have, and this is an opportunity for growth and strength.

• Satan wants to bring you down – he has nothing to lose and wants to see you fail.

How Can You Defeat Temptation?

• Choose to be in situations where you won't be tempted.

• The longer you entertain the temptation, the harder it is to resist. The less you think about it, the easier it will be to say 'no'.

• You will only be faced with temptations you can withstand. You can handle it – call upon God with prayer or hymn if you're struggling.

What acts of service have you been a part of lately? If you know someone who could connect with this message, send them this episode and encourage them to subscribe. If you liked what you heard, leave us a rating or review on iTunes. If you need someone to talk to and you'd like to reach out to Donald, e-mail [email protected], or find him on Twitter or Instagram. 

Acts of service help bring us closer to God. Through selfless acts of kindness and care, we become more Christ-like in our ways and help those around us feel the power of God. Not only that, but when we serve God’s children, we serve God as well. In this episode, Donald shares a story about a time when he participated in an act of service with his congregation.

Serving Dixie Brown and the Florida Keys

• In 2017, Hurricane Irma hit the Keys in South Florida, destroying the homes of many communities

• His team received a work order to help a community member named Dixie Brown, and he selflessly sent the crew to support his neighbor, who had a tree fall on her house

• Years later, Donald’s son found a video of Dixie Brown on Donald’s phone, which inspired Donald to check in on Dixie Brown

• Through this act of service, a deeper human connection was built and can continue to provide support through the years

“If we are helping God’s children… we are going to have the Spirit be with us. It’s not for self-aggrandizement or self-accolade, we’re doing it because we really care and we want to help other people, and the Spirit of the Lord is able to be present.” - Donald Kelly

What acts of service have you been a part of lately? If you know someone who could connect with this message, send them this episode and encourage them to subscribe. If you liked what you heard, leave us a rating or review on iTunes. If you need someone to talk to and you’d like to reach out to Donald, e-mail [email protected], or find him on Twitter or Instagram.