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Chapter Eleven - Donor Eggs
The Questions, The Mistake, and Finding Our Match
August 2021. POF diagnosis. Time to move forward with donor eggs. But first, I had to face the questions that haunt every woman making this decision.
Then I discovered the mistake.
Mount Etna erupting
COVID drama at the airport.
The donor offer
In this episode:
❓ The endless questions about donor eggs and bonding
💔 "What if I don't bond with the baby and Marco leaves me?"
🇬🇧 UK vs abroad: giving the child the right to know their donor
💰 Paying for initial appointments before getting real answers
📊 Asking for blood results and discovering the truth
😱 My estrogen flatlined after progesterone tablets
🩺 "They are experts in getting you pregnant" – not fixing underlying issues
❌ The consultant who shot me down about estrogen therapy
💉 Getting the COVID vaccine – protecting myself to protect the baby
🎯 "The end of fertility treatment was like a release"
📝 The counselling session about talking to your child early
🥚 COVID-depleted egg banks – we wanted fresh eggs anyway
🔬 The last push: laser therapy, Radiant Wonder, visualisation
🌋 Mount Etna erupting while we were in the air to Sicily
🎄 Italian family Christmas – "I wasn't pregnant. But I already knew it. I'd let go."
😰 The first donor offering that wasn't quite right
✈️ Turned away at the airport – Fit2Fly certificate in Italian!
🎉 Finding our donor on our anniversary
The brutal truth? The questions are endless. The worry about bonding is real. Discovering your fertility clinic made a mistake that flatlined your estrogen. Turning down a donor and praying another comes. Finally being ready to let go.
📖 READ THE FULL CHAPTER: https://3amthoughts.me/2026/02/12/chapter-eleven-donor-eggs/
🎙️ LISTEN ON PODCAST: https://bit.ly/3amThoughtspodcast
⏮️ PREVIOUS CHAPTER: Mushrooms, Mindset and POF https://youtu.be/UeINYZjpq_U
⏭️ NEXT CHAPTER: My IVF Journey & Catalogue of Errors coming soon
🏠 START FROM THE BEGINNING: Introduction https://youtu.be/ZhZ4TDsj9Lk
🔔 SUBSCRIBE for weekly chapters following my journey from toilet panic to 3AM peace.
💬 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
Have you faced the donor egg bonding questions?
Did you choose the UK or abroad for donor conception? Why?
Have you discovered a medical mistake that affected your fertility?
Has a clinic shot you down when you asked about alternatives?
Did you experience the "release" of shifting from your own eggs to donor eggs?
Have you turned down a donor? What was that like?
How did COVID affect your fertility journey?
What does "being ready to let go" look like for you?
This is a safe space. Share your story. The questions about donor eggs are valid and real.
⚠️ CONTENT NOTE: This episode discusses donor egg decision-making, fears about bonding with donor-conceived children, discovering medical mistakes that ended own-egg possibilities, the anxiety of turning down donors, COVID travel complications during fertility treatment, and the complex emotions of acceptance and moving forward. Please take care while watching.
WHAT'S COMING IN CHAPTER 12:
We've found our donor – preparing for the cycle
Having fun before IVF begins
Trying to adjust medication for my IBD
The argument with the nurse about one-size-fits-all protocols
"They only adapt if it doesn't work the first time"
Realising they don't monitor levels, just dose you high
"It doesn't do any harm" (spoiler: not true)
Perfect womb lining, IBD still calm
The catalogue of clinic errors begins
Sent to the wrong place for scans
Prescriptions not sent to the dispenser
Price increases we weren't told about
Charged for things not disclosed as extra costs
Allergic reaction email ignored
The pregnancy test: positive or negative?
My persistence paid off
ABOUT THIS SERIES:
From toilet panic to 3AM peace - this is my unfiltered journey through five years of IBD, fertility struggles, premature ovarian failure, and becoming a mother through donor eggs. No filters. No AI polish. Just the honest truth about the questions that haunt you, the mistakes that change everything, and finding your match on the anniversary that started it all.
Your voice deserves to be heard. Always.
📧 CONTACT: [email protected]
📱 CONNECT: Insta - @my_3_amthoughts
COMMUNITY GUIDELINES:
This is a space for support, shared experiences, and honest conversation about donor egg decisions. Be kind. Be respectful. Share your truth. No judgment about choosing donors, where you go for treatment, or the questions that keep you up at night. Just understanding and support.
DISCLAIMER: This content shares my personal health, fertility, and donor egg journey and is not medical advice. Decisions about donor conception, clinic choice, and fertility treatment are deeply personal. Always consult qualified healthcare professionals about your own fertility journey. I have deep respect for medical professionals - this is about sharing my lived experience, including medical mistakes that affected outcomes and the complex emotions of choosing donor eggs.
View all episodes
By Annique TateThe Questions, The Mistake, and Finding Our Match
August 2021. POF diagnosis. Time to move forward with donor eggs. But first, I had to face the questions that haunt every woman making this decision.
Then I discovered the mistake.
Mount Etna erupting
COVID drama at the airport.
The donor offer
In this episode:
❓ The endless questions about donor eggs and bonding
💔 "What if I don't bond with the baby and Marco leaves me?"
🇬🇧 UK vs abroad: giving the child the right to know their donor
💰 Paying for initial appointments before getting real answers
📊 Asking for blood results and discovering the truth
😱 My estrogen flatlined after progesterone tablets
🩺 "They are experts in getting you pregnant" – not fixing underlying issues
❌ The consultant who shot me down about estrogen therapy
💉 Getting the COVID vaccine – protecting myself to protect the baby
🎯 "The end of fertility treatment was like a release"
📝 The counselling session about talking to your child early
🥚 COVID-depleted egg banks – we wanted fresh eggs anyway
🔬 The last push: laser therapy, Radiant Wonder, visualisation
🌋 Mount Etna erupting while we were in the air to Sicily
🎄 Italian family Christmas – "I wasn't pregnant. But I already knew it. I'd let go."
😰 The first donor offering that wasn't quite right
✈️ Turned away at the airport – Fit2Fly certificate in Italian!
🎉 Finding our donor on our anniversary
The brutal truth? The questions are endless. The worry about bonding is real. Discovering your fertility clinic made a mistake that flatlined your estrogen. Turning down a donor and praying another comes. Finally being ready to let go.
📖 READ THE FULL CHAPTER: https://3amthoughts.me/2026/02/12/chapter-eleven-donor-eggs/
🎙️ LISTEN ON PODCAST: https://bit.ly/3amThoughtspodcast
⏮️ PREVIOUS CHAPTER: Mushrooms, Mindset and POF https://youtu.be/UeINYZjpq_U
⏭️ NEXT CHAPTER: My IVF Journey & Catalogue of Errors coming soon
🏠 START FROM THE BEGINNING: Introduction https://youtu.be/ZhZ4TDsj9Lk
🔔 SUBSCRIBE for weekly chapters following my journey from toilet panic to 3AM peace.
💬 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
Have you faced the donor egg bonding questions?
Did you choose the UK or abroad for donor conception? Why?
Have you discovered a medical mistake that affected your fertility?
Has a clinic shot you down when you asked about alternatives?
Did you experience the "release" of shifting from your own eggs to donor eggs?
Have you turned down a donor? What was that like?
How did COVID affect your fertility journey?
What does "being ready to let go" look like for you?
This is a safe space. Share your story. The questions about donor eggs are valid and real.
⚠️ CONTENT NOTE: This episode discusses donor egg decision-making, fears about bonding with donor-conceived children, discovering medical mistakes that ended own-egg possibilities, the anxiety of turning down donors, COVID travel complications during fertility treatment, and the complex emotions of acceptance and moving forward. Please take care while watching.
WHAT'S COMING IN CHAPTER 12:
We've found our donor – preparing for the cycle
Having fun before IVF begins
Trying to adjust medication for my IBD
The argument with the nurse about one-size-fits-all protocols
"They only adapt if it doesn't work the first time"
Realising they don't monitor levels, just dose you high
"It doesn't do any harm" (spoiler: not true)
Perfect womb lining, IBD still calm
The catalogue of clinic errors begins
Sent to the wrong place for scans
Prescriptions not sent to the dispenser
Price increases we weren't told about
Charged for things not disclosed as extra costs
Allergic reaction email ignored
The pregnancy test: positive or negative?
My persistence paid off
ABOUT THIS SERIES:
From toilet panic to 3AM peace - this is my unfiltered journey through five years of IBD, fertility struggles, premature ovarian failure, and becoming a mother through donor eggs. No filters. No AI polish. Just the honest truth about the questions that haunt you, the mistakes that change everything, and finding your match on the anniversary that started it all.
Your voice deserves to be heard. Always.
📧 CONTACT: [email protected]
📱 CONNECT: Insta - @my_3_amthoughts
COMMUNITY GUIDELINES:
This is a space for support, shared experiences, and honest conversation about donor egg decisions. Be kind. Be respectful. Share your truth. No judgment about choosing donors, where you go for treatment, or the questions that keep you up at night. Just understanding and support.
DISCLAIMER: This content shares my personal health, fertility, and donor egg journey and is not medical advice. Decisions about donor conception, clinic choice, and fertility treatment are deeply personal. Always consult qualified healthcare professionals about your own fertility journey. I have deep respect for medical professionals - this is about sharing my lived experience, including medical mistakes that affected outcomes and the complex emotions of choosing donor eggs.