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Chapter Seven - The Long Road Down
When Vindication Met Devastation
December 2019. I'm planning our move to Sicily with military precision, Trello boards, spreadsheets, endless coordination. My hair's growing back, my business is thriving, and we're finally ready to seriously try for a baby.
Then came the 30-hour drive with our cat, a sonogram that proved I'd been right all along, and a fertility consultant who refused to listen. Blood tests on Friday. Devastating results on Saturday. COVID lockdown on Sunday.
We were trapped in Italy with nowhere to turn, and my fertility window was apparently closing for good.
In this episode:
🚗 The epic 2,500km drive to Sicily (with Dory the cat and Dance Monkey on repeat)
✈️ Berlin birthday trip and growing symptoms
🏥 The family GP who actually listened and did a sonogram
🎉 VINDICATION: "You're still ovulating, just not menstruating"
😤 The fertility consultant who sounded exactly like UK GPs: "Menopause"
📊 Blood tests on a Friday that shattered everything
🦠 COVID lockdown trapping us in Italy the next day
😢 When hope dissolves in 48 hours
This chapter covers:
Planning a major international move while managing IBD and fertility
The reality of a 30-hour drive through Europe
Finding a doctor who actually listens (for 60 euros!)
The moment of vindication: proving you're still ovulating
Medical dismissiveness even with evidence
How COVID timing destroyed our fertility plans
Being trapped with nowhere to turn
📖 READ THE FULL CHAPTER: https://3amthoughts.me/2025/12/12/chapter-seven-the-long-road-down/
🎙️ LISTEN ON PODCAST: https://bit.ly/3amThoughtspodcast
⏮️ PREVIOUS CHAPTER: Summer in Sicily https://youtu.be/vWJJXx7zT44
⏭️ NEXT CHAPTER: My Fertility Fight coming next week
🔔 SUBSCRIBE for weekly chapters following my journey from toilet panic to 3AM peace.
💬 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
Have you ever had vindication followed immediately by devastation?
Has a doctor dismissed evidence that contradicted their assumptions?
Did COVID lockdown interrupt your fertility journey or medical treatment?
Have you experienced the fixation on one single hormone despite other evidence?
What does "advanced maternal age" mean to you?
Share your stories in the comments - this is a judgment-free, supportive space.
⚠️ CONTENT NOTE: This episode discusses medical dismissiveness, age-related prejudice in fertility treatment, loss of a grandparent, COVID lockdown impact on fertility journeys, and the emotional whiplash from hope to despair.
WHAT'S COMING IN CHAPTER 8:
Reaching out to my homeopath when I had nowhere else to turn
Understanding the prejudice women face with "advanced maternal age"
Why doctors fixate on one hormone instead of the whole picture
The revelation: IVF doctors aren't fertility specialists, they're pregnancy specialists
Marco being my unwavering rock through the tears
A UK clinic webinar during lockdown
The scan showing my "beautifully healthy reproductive system"
Progesterone tablets: the straw that broke the camel's back
KEY MOMENTS FROM THIS CHAPTER:
💪 Finally proving I was still ovulating
😤 "Menopause" - the word that kept coming back
🚫 "No further treatment" via WhatsApp
🦠 COVID walls going up across Italy
💔 Hope dissolving in 48 hours
🔒 Trapped with my fertility window "closing"
✊ Deciding I wasn't done fighting
QUOTABLE MOMENTS:
💬 "You're still ovulating. You've released an egg. You're just not menstruating."
💬 "I knew it. Houri knew it. Jessica knew it."
💬 "No further treatment."
💬 "The next day, COVID hit hard. The walls went up. We were trapped."
💬 "My fertility window was apparently closing for good."
#TheLongRoadDown #FertilityJourney #COVIDLockdown #MedicalDismissiveness #AdvancedMaternalAge #StillOvulating #MenopauseAssumption #FertilityStruggles #IBDJourney #Vindication #ChronicIllness #RealTalk #FilterFree #WomensHealth #FertilityOver40 #PandemicImpact
ABOUT THIS SERIES:
From toilet panic to 3AM peace - this is my unfiltered journey through five years of IBD, fertility struggles, premature ovarian failure, and becoming a mother through donor eggs. No filters. No AI polish. Just the messy, real, hopeful truth.
Your voice deserves to be heard. Always.
📧 CONTACT: [email protected]
📱 CONNECT: Insta - @my_3_amthoughts
COMMUNITY GUIDELINES:
This is a space for support, shared experiences, and honest conversation. Be kind. Be respectful. Share your truth. Everyone's journey is valid.
DISCLAIMER: This content shares my personal health and fertility journey and is not medical advice. Always consult qualified healthcare professionals about your own health and fertility concerns. I have deep respect for medical professionals - this is about sharing my lived experience and advocating for better patient care.
View all episodes
By Annique TateWhen Vindication Met Devastation
December 2019. I'm planning our move to Sicily with military precision, Trello boards, spreadsheets, endless coordination. My hair's growing back, my business is thriving, and we're finally ready to seriously try for a baby.
Then came the 30-hour drive with our cat, a sonogram that proved I'd been right all along, and a fertility consultant who refused to listen. Blood tests on Friday. Devastating results on Saturday. COVID lockdown on Sunday.
We were trapped in Italy with nowhere to turn, and my fertility window was apparently closing for good.
In this episode:
🚗 The epic 2,500km drive to Sicily (with Dory the cat and Dance Monkey on repeat)
✈️ Berlin birthday trip and growing symptoms
🏥 The family GP who actually listened and did a sonogram
🎉 VINDICATION: "You're still ovulating, just not menstruating"
😤 The fertility consultant who sounded exactly like UK GPs: "Menopause"
📊 Blood tests on a Friday that shattered everything
🦠 COVID lockdown trapping us in Italy the next day
😢 When hope dissolves in 48 hours
This chapter covers:
Planning a major international move while managing IBD and fertility
The reality of a 30-hour drive through Europe
Finding a doctor who actually listens (for 60 euros!)
The moment of vindication: proving you're still ovulating
Medical dismissiveness even with evidence
How COVID timing destroyed our fertility plans
Being trapped with nowhere to turn
📖 READ THE FULL CHAPTER: https://3amthoughts.me/2025/12/12/chapter-seven-the-long-road-down/
🎙️ LISTEN ON PODCAST: https://bit.ly/3amThoughtspodcast
⏮️ PREVIOUS CHAPTER: Summer in Sicily https://youtu.be/vWJJXx7zT44
⏭️ NEXT CHAPTER: My Fertility Fight coming next week
🔔 SUBSCRIBE for weekly chapters following my journey from toilet panic to 3AM peace.
💬 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
Have you ever had vindication followed immediately by devastation?
Has a doctor dismissed evidence that contradicted their assumptions?
Did COVID lockdown interrupt your fertility journey or medical treatment?
Have you experienced the fixation on one single hormone despite other evidence?
What does "advanced maternal age" mean to you?
Share your stories in the comments - this is a judgment-free, supportive space.
⚠️ CONTENT NOTE: This episode discusses medical dismissiveness, age-related prejudice in fertility treatment, loss of a grandparent, COVID lockdown impact on fertility journeys, and the emotional whiplash from hope to despair.
WHAT'S COMING IN CHAPTER 8:
Reaching out to my homeopath when I had nowhere else to turn
Understanding the prejudice women face with "advanced maternal age"
Why doctors fixate on one hormone instead of the whole picture
The revelation: IVF doctors aren't fertility specialists, they're pregnancy specialists
Marco being my unwavering rock through the tears
A UK clinic webinar during lockdown
The scan showing my "beautifully healthy reproductive system"
Progesterone tablets: the straw that broke the camel's back
KEY MOMENTS FROM THIS CHAPTER:
💪 Finally proving I was still ovulating
😤 "Menopause" - the word that kept coming back
🚫 "No further treatment" via WhatsApp
🦠 COVID walls going up across Italy
💔 Hope dissolving in 48 hours
🔒 Trapped with my fertility window "closing"
✊ Deciding I wasn't done fighting
QUOTABLE MOMENTS:
💬 "You're still ovulating. You've released an egg. You're just not menstruating."
💬 "I knew it. Houri knew it. Jessica knew it."
💬 "No further treatment."
💬 "The next day, COVID hit hard. The walls went up. We were trapped."
💬 "My fertility window was apparently closing for good."
#TheLongRoadDown #FertilityJourney #COVIDLockdown #MedicalDismissiveness #AdvancedMaternalAge #StillOvulating #MenopauseAssumption #FertilityStruggles #IBDJourney #Vindication #ChronicIllness #RealTalk #FilterFree #WomensHealth #FertilityOver40 #PandemicImpact
ABOUT THIS SERIES:
From toilet panic to 3AM peace - this is my unfiltered journey through five years of IBD, fertility struggles, premature ovarian failure, and becoming a mother through donor eggs. No filters. No AI polish. Just the messy, real, hopeful truth.
Your voice deserves to be heard. Always.
📧 CONTACT: [email protected]
📱 CONNECT: Insta - @my_3_amthoughts
COMMUNITY GUIDELINES:
This is a space for support, shared experiences, and honest conversation. Be kind. Be respectful. Share your truth. Everyone's journey is valid.
DISCLAIMER: This content shares my personal health and fertility journey and is not medical advice. Always consult qualified healthcare professionals about your own health and fertility concerns. I have deep respect for medical professionals - this is about sharing my lived experience and advocating for better patient care.