The purpose of this podcast is to connect with you authentically, and more regularly, so please forgive the sound quality because this will NOT be an over-produced show; just thoughtful reflection. The topics will be random and inspired by conversations I have with women in The Lipstick Network, or struggles that I am processing and hope to grow through. These episodes will be short, and I pray both vulnerable and life-giving. If you need advice, or a safe place to "say the thing you shouldn't", you can always email [email protected] with "Charity Talks Help" in the subject line, or text me @ 813.453.8586.
I see, celebrate, and love you, and thank you for your support as we put love and light into the world, build a life that brings joy, and leave a legacy that changes the world for good.
Time to Stop Apologising!
I think too often women have to apologise. Apologise for bumping into someone (didn’t they bump into you too?), apologise for being too loud, too aggressive (dude, I brought you a coffee to thank you for your time); apologise for cooking a 4-course meal that wasn’t exactly ready at 5.30pm because she was typing a newsletter, or folding laundry, or creating content for her business.
I’m at a point in my life where I want to stop apologising, but I see the scars of generational chains carried by my mother and grandmother, affecting me, but also bleeding into my daughters. The first time my eldest said, “I’m sorry” for just BEING she was 3…
It laid me out. It absolutely smacked me in the face with a “holy $hit” this has to stop NOW. That moment brought to the forefront a comment made by an ex-boyfriend (the only good thing that came from that abusive relationship), when he said, “You apologise a lot.” Raised in the Northeast by a feminist mother, his context was different, he wasn’t used to women apologising for EVERY…SINGLE…THING.
I’ve spent a lot of my adult life apologising for being “too much”: too loud, too Southern (yes, I do still say “yes ma’am), too passionate, too friendly (seriously, an old friend asked me when we first met: “Are you really this nice?” ) The truth is: Yes, I am! I have this deep sincerity about me that may seem juvenile and naive to some (perhaps the more jaded among us), but truthfully, it’s rooted in deep gratitude, love, and joy for all I have been gifted, the people I’ve met, the adventures I’ve had, and the calling on my life to keep changing the world for good in whatever way I can.
I want to stop apologising for being who I am, and just let the good in me be UNLEASHED to do whatever I can, with as many people who want to join in and change the world, as possible! When I die, the legacy I pray to leave behind is that people felt seen and loved in my presence, and I did my best to help those around me and change the world in a small but significant way.
Easier said than done. There’s about 15 years of negative self-talk that “I’ll never be enough” with roots in my father’s abandonment and an emotionally, verbally abusive “first” relationship, BUT, there’s always hope! There’s always work to be done, and if you know me, the mantra “It takes a village” is the ethos of my life; it’s why I started “The Lipstick Network” - because we’re stronger together- and has had profound impact on my life. Years ago, one of the women in my “village”is with my therapist, Heather Widmer-Lovey, and we had an ART therapy session (stands for “Accelerated Resolution Therapy”). In one sesions, I retrained my brain to heal a very traumatic experience in my life. I encourage anyone seeking healing, to research this technique and find a trust therapist to engage. Second, starting in January 2024, I am getting professional coaching by Ruthie Schulder of “Founders in Flow”, she’s a friend and I’m super excited get coaching around the extension of my growth practice (Charity Golden Growth) as I launch my M&A Brokerage: Global Legacy Advisory!
